27. Leonor

27

LEONOR

“ L eo.”

My brow furrows and my eyes pinch tight as I feel fingers push my hair out of my face. I shift a little, turning toward the gentle caress but it quickly disappears before I hear the voice again.

“Leo, sugar, you need to take your meds.”

I crack one lid as I pull the blanket higher until it’s sitting right under my nose. “What meds?”

Mark frowns down at me as he straightens up. “Your evening meds. And hopefully mealtime ones if I can get you to eat.”

“What time is it?” My other eye opens and I blink repeatedly, looking around the spare bedroom until it’s in focus. “Where’s Justine?”

“She went with Pierre to get a few things from the store.” He runs a hand over his skull trim with a sigh. “And it’s seven. You napped for a few hours before we got back.”

I napped?

Well, I don’t remember falling asleep but I’m guessing that’s from the adrenaline crash. That, my anxiety pills then the shower followed by a heart to heart with Justine. It’s not surprising that I fell asleep after all that.

“Are the boys here?”

Mark shakes his head. “It’s just me and you right now. Norm is still dealing with Franc, Lucky is in the middle of a manic cleaning episode at your loft, and Pete is?—”

“Playing referee to all of that.” A slow smile spreads across my face before I yawn. “But then they’re coming here, which is why Justine and Pierre are shopping.”

He nods.

Stretching my arms and legs, I let out a rather unflattering grunt then scrunch back into a ball, my smile falling some as I look over my teddy bear. “What is it?”

Mark shakes his head.

“Markus…”

“Nothing.”

“Markus Favre, if you don’t tell me right now why you’re frowning so hard you could lick your forehead, I’ll?—”

“I don’t understand you.”

My eyes go wide and I immediately push myself up to sit. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I just,” Mark says with a sigh. Then he sits down on the edge of the bed next to me and scrubs his hands over his face and beard. “You were screaming bloody murder, Leo. You blacked out and when you woke up it was in the middle of a panic attack so intense I thought you were going to be sick. Then I bring you here, get you settled, split to give Franc my statement only to come back to Justine’s to find her and Pierre both crying over you in their spare room like a goddamn wake or something.”

My cheeks go pink as I drop my gaze to my hands. “They were?”

“Yeah, and you can imagine what I thought when I walked in on that.”

“I’m sorry, teddy.”

He blows out a breath, rubbing his hands over the top of his shorts. “Don’t be, you don’t have to. Justine told me what you said to her, all the shit about your bio parents, about them. There’s nothing to apologize for but I don’t understand how you went from a panic attack to probably the most heartfelt thing you’ve ever said to Justine, and now you’re groggy from a nap but still in a decent mood.” Hazel eyes swing my way and the stare I feel has me turning toward them. “I, well, whatever. Forget it.”

Twisting my body, I face Mark, my gaze moving over his profile, every beautiful feature full of the tension he’s clearly carrying. “Tell me.”

He shakes his head and his shoulders sag, and for some reason it sort of breaks my heart.

Not like before. This is a different kind of heartache than realizing I might have blown my chance with this man. It’s full of love and guilt, a weird combination of my heart swelling while it breaks over the worry and confusion I see. All because of me.

Out of my boys, Mark has changed the most during our time apart and while it doesn’t affect how I feel about him, it scares me to think it’s changed how he feels about me in any way.

“Mark? Teddy, talk to me, please.”

Slowly lifting his head, he turns, his expression a touch dark. But instead of saying anything, instead of talking to me like I know he needs to, Mark’s eyes drop to my lips briefly before reconnecting with mine, his jaw ticking as he clenches it, looking at me in a way that speaks volumes.

And because I am in a decent mood , I decide to follow my overall line of thinking lately and lift my hand to cup his cheek. “Oh, teddy.”

Then I’m kissing him.

Without hesitation or any real planning, my eyes are closed and I’m pressed against his shoulder, his gigantic bicep smashed between my breasts, our bodies touching everywhere they can in this position and only separated by my kimono while my lips caress his.

Butterflies fill every inch of my stomach, fluttering wildly as my very last first kiss becomes a little less chaste.

Soft .

Mark’s lips are so incredibly soft and full, and they taste like cinnamon. I lick the seam as he turns, facing me to tilt his head, slanting his mouth over mine and grabbing my arms. Mark’s hands slide up my neck until he’s holding my face, every bit of my skin he touched now covered in goosebumps.

I lean into him, my fingers digging into his shirt, tugging the material just to get as close as I can and when I’m ready to straddle his lap in order to do that, Mark pushes me away by the shoulders.

“Leonor,” he growls, quickly getting to his feet.

My nose stings as I blink wide eyes, watching him tug his beard and start to pace. “Mark? What’s wrong, what did?—”

“Nothing,” he snaps, his frustrated stare narrowed on my face for a split second. “You’ve never done anything wrong in my eyes but that’s the problem.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve seen you as this perfect, untouchable goddess so fucking long that I was willing to forget my own feelings just to keep you around, but because I’ve also done that so goddamn long, I forgot damn near everything the second you decided to kiss me. A couple more seconds of kissing you after waiting for what feels like my entire life for literally anything like that to happen, I would have made an even bigger mistake.”

Ignoring the way all of that actually hurts my feelings, I scowl and cross my arms against my chest. “Your feelings? The ones where you ignore me and run away because I’m a broken piece of shit, one that you’re even more disgusted by now because I kissed you? Or the ones where you judge the fuck out of me because I’m in a committed relationship with your three best friends? Or maybe it’s secretly fighting your jealousy over not getting to stick your dick in at least one of us? There are just so many options when it comes to your precious feelings these days.”

“Fuck you, Leonor,” Mark spits as his eyes snap to mine. “You can go fuck yourself for everything you just said.”

“No thanks.” Deciding to make this way worse because I’m really pissed and don’t give a shit about the fact that we’re probably about to lose our bassist and someone we all love more than anything, I untie my kimono and straighten my spine. “I’ll wait for one of the boys.”

Mark’s expression goes dark again as I let the silk fall open, as it slides down my arms to pool around my hips. The hazel in his eyes almost seems to swirl as I lean back on my elbows, fully exposed save for my core. I didn’t have anything to put on after my shower, just my kimono and a pair of underwear that he must have grabbed before we left the loft, and that’s all I was wearing when I fell asleep—sheer, see through panties and that silky robe.

Until now.

Now, I’m sitting on this bed, one scrap of fabric away from completely naked and regardless of the why behind it, everything inside me flips and flutters under Markus’ angry, heated stare.

My skin is entirely covered in goosebumps, my nipples are puckered and tight, and my pussy is practically throbbing in pain. The pain of wanting this man inside me so badly it fucking hurts, especially with the growing possibility of losing him completely.

But I still push the damn envelope, anyway.

“Right here,” I say as I widen my thighs, planting my feet on the edge of the mattress as I tilt my head. “My pussy is wet just thinking about it.”

It is to be totally honest, mad or not, but it’s solely because of the way Mark’s eyes drop briefly to look.

“Don’t be a bitch, Leonor.”

“What?”

“You know what.”

I grin as I circle my nipples with my fingers, twisting the barbells, my hips rolling the slightest bit. “Is it the idea of them fucking me, fucking each other, or is it the way I’m laid out in front of you that has you pissed off and grossed out?”

Why am I doing this?

Taunting this man, pushing my teddy bear to hate me so he’ll leave. This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done, it might even be top five on the list, and doing this will not only guarantee Markus walking, I’ll probably lose the rest of them, too.

For some fucked up reason, I can’t stop.

It’s like I need him to admit that he hates me, like I need to hear Mark tell me he did love me once but not anymore, and it’ll be a cold day in hell before he’d ever feel that way again. Because if he doesn’t, if he never says anything at all about the various changes in relationship status between the rest of us, if he keeps quiet over everything he feels, I don’t know if I can take it.

That makes me a hypocrite, I know. I’ve barely talked about any of my feelings outside of being in love with them, haven’t really discussed my truth and all the baggage that comes with that. I’ve fought my boys at every turn whether it was subtle or in their face and secretly demanding that from Markus isn’t fair.

So I’m trying to push him away instead, and that’s just as shitty.

Because I don’t want that.

I don’t want him to go, I don’t want him to hate me but if kissing me was somehow wrong in his eyes, if he has a problem with anything the rest of us are doing, how do we move forward from that?

“God, you’re really pushing my buttons, Leonor.” Mark runs his hands over his skull trim as he turns away from me. “Every last one.”

“So it’s all of the above then? Everything the four of us?—”

“Shut your goddamn mouth,” he hisses as he spins toward me, pointing a finger at me from across the room.

I don’t, though. Even as my throat goes tight. “I’m done keeping my mouth shut, Markus. Things have been weird between us for weeks, fucking weeks, and I know part of it is navigating everything while I keep secrets and we avoid talking about trauma but I?—”

“I fucking love you, ok?”

My mouth snaps shut as I push myself up, sitting on the edge of bed in shock. I’m shocked because I didn’t think I’d be hearing that from him, especially in present tense but that’s what he used, and that’s exactly what I heard.

He laughs, albeit sarcastically. “Really? You’re surprised by that?” I nod and Mark rolls his eyes. “It shouldn’t be shocking, not after finding out how the rest of them felt. Not to mention I fucking saw it on your face earlier, you knew how I felt when we were arguing about Collinsworth, so spare me the act.”

“It’s not an act so don’t be a dick.” My shock immediately disappears and is replaced by anger again. “I saw someone who loved me at some point but gave up. You fucking gave me up and that’s what I knew when we were arguing.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Then don’t act like it,” Mark snaps. “You can’t sit here and tell me you seriously think, after diving into everything you have with the three of them, that I don’t feel the same fucking way? That I don’t want to be with you in that way just as badly?”

“Then why don’t you?” Not that I really want him to answer that, not right now because I’m sure it’s going to hurt. Something confirmed when he does.

“Because no one fucking wants that, Leonor. It’s basically wrong and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

Fighting the way my nose burns, I force a sarcastic smile and lean back on the bed. Tense doesn’t matter anymore because I know what I saw and that was resignation. Markus has resigned himself to not being with me, with us, and knowing him the way I do, nothing is going to change that. Especially if he thinks it’s wrong in some way.

Which is why I need this to be on my terms.

If I’m going to lose him, if he’s going to tell me he loves me but doesn’t want to be with me, then I have every intention of making sure he regrets it.

Mark can walk away from me, from the boys and the band because he doesn’t think we should be together, but I’m going to be the one to push him to it. I’m going to push until it feels like it was my idea for him to go so it doesn’t hurt as bad when he’s gone.

“Pity,” I say as I widen my legs again, my feet back on the edge of the mattress. “Being wrong has the desperate need to be fucked growing stronger by the second right here .”

Leaning completely on one elbow, I slide my other hand over my breast, twisting my nipple ring before moving down my stomach and hip until my fingers slip inside the front of my panties.

Mark tracks my movements, those kaleidoscope eyes zeroed in on the sheer material, completely focused on the way my finger slowly circles my clit underneath. His chest heaves as the look on his face goes even darker, an edge to his beautiful features, turning into a sharp and almost dangerous expression.

Liking that look defeats the purpose of what I’m doing, though, especially when Mark licks his lower lip and takes a step toward me and my core clenches around nothing. I can’t help the way I ache, though, the way everything about him has me growing wetter by the second and as I circle my clit a little faster my breathing matches his.

“Stop, Leonor,” he growls, still staring at my sex with that same expression.

But I can’t. I don’t want to stop. Not because I can feel my orgasm already starting to build, not even because I’m trying to make some sort of point and am taking it too far. I keep rubbing my clit then shove two fingers inside my pussy because when my eyes move from the look on his face down the rest of his body, I can see that my teddy has lost himself in the moment, too.

His hand has moved to the front of his shorts, his hand squeezing his dick, but I can’t tell if it’s because Mark likes how he feels or not.

So I push a little more.

“It really… it really is too bad, Markus,” I pant, watching him through glassy eyes as I apply a little more pressure and rub my clit faster. “Wrong or, fuck, wrong or not, what I’m doing right now feels so good .”

I moan the last words as my hips start to roll, the muscle in his jaw ticking while he takes another step. “You need to stop, Leonor.”

Shaking my head because I’m even closer to coming, I bite my lip to stop myself from begging him to fuck me in order to get me there.

He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want me.

Love or not, I can’t be with someone who thinks I’m wrong, that loving Lucky, Norm and Pete the way I do is wrong. And I’m about to have my first ever bitter heartbreak orgasm thanks to this man.

I close my eyes and increase my pace, fighting the tears that want to break free while my climax dances right on the edge. My belly dips and gets warm, my legs widen even more and just when I think for sure this is it, I hear goddamnit seconds before my hand is forcefully removed from my panties.

My eyes pop open as Mark’s fist closes around my wrist, standing directly between my knees with my hand in front of his face as he scowls. “I said fucking stop.”

“Let go of me.” I try to jerk my arm back but he won’t let me. “Markus, let me go right now or…”

Breathing even heavier than I was before, my words trail off as I watch this man lick my arousal from my fingers, sucking on each one slowly, his tongue working until he’s gotten every drop.

“I told you to stop.”

I blink a few times but have nothing to say. I don’t know what the fuck to say, honestly, not after whatever the hell just happened.

“Such a fucking brat,” Markus grunts as he lets go of my wrist before his hands fall to my thighs, sliding down to my shins as he kneels in front of me. “A brat who only hears what she wants because she thinks she’s fucking right all the goddamn time.”

My breath hitches and my eyes flutter closed as Mark pushes my thighs wide open and kisses my pussy through the sheer fabric of my panties. He holds my legs in place when my hips try to buck, when they try to roll against his mouth. Then he does it again a little harder, pressing his lips to my sex firmly before Mark’s beard scrapes along my hip as he drags his mouth to the top of my absolutely soaked underwear.

He slides his tongue along the elastic band, which is the exact moment I remember it’s pierced then he nips my skin. “You gonna look at me, sugar?”

“Ok,” I whisper as I force my eyes open, immediately connecting with hazel ones that are staring at me from between my legs.

This is a great view.

But it’s also confusing because of everything we just said to each other. And of course Mark can read that all over my face despite how blissed out I must look.

“You want to know why this is wrong, Leo?” I purse my lips, ready to fire back but my argument dies the second he bites my hip and slips his fingers under the see through material. He starts slowly tracing my pussy while refraining from touching the places I need him most, an evil grin no doubt hidden from me. “Because someone like you, a goddess who can do no wrong, can’t love someone like me no matter how much you want to believe you can.”

Mark slowly drags my panties down my legs, only allowing me to move so he can, then he’s staring directly at my core, his fingers opening me up to him while his elbows keep my thighs wide.

My chest is heaving right now, I’m breathing so heavy I might pass out, and that’s the only reason I can’t seem to argue with him. Especially when he does what he does next.

“Guys like me don’t get the girl, Leonor,” Mark says as he dips his chin and flicks my clit with his tongue. “And they definitely don’t get the girl and her boyfriends.”

All coherent thoughts leave my head as I feel the cold steel of his tongue ring on my clit, the way those full lips close around it and suck. I can barely remember how to function when Markus does it again and again, repeating his movements until the first little shock of my orgasm jolts through me.

But it never comes.

I never come because Mark stops eating my pussy and gets to his feet.

I’m not sure what pisses me off more, the complete and utter bullshit he’s saying, or the fact that I was just edged by a man who thinks I couldn’t really be in love with him.

“Markus Favre how—oh!”

With a pinch to that sensitive bundle of nerves between my legs, he leans over me, forcing me flat on the mattress before one of his thick, callused fingers pushes inside me. “I knew this was going to happen, but I told myself it couldn’t.” A second finger joins the first, pumping slowly in time with the way the heel of his hand rubs me. “I never wanted a pity fuck from you, not with the way I love you.”

My teddy grins as he presses his lips to mine, successfully quieting my argument again with a kiss that tastes like me. “No pity relationships, either. Odd man out, last man standing.” His tongue meets mine, dancing to the same rhythm he’s fingering me, my orgasm right back within reach. “But I guess, if one time is all I get, I might as well go for it, right sugar?”

“Goddamnit, Markus!” I cry as he takes his hand away, depriving me of my climax while allowing me to finally speak. “Either let me come or let me talk because you’re driving me crazy with?—”

And now my panties are in my mouth.

I scowl as Mark chuckles darkly, my gaze snapping in his direction in time to see him drop his shorts and holy mother of god his cock is hard, it is thick, and it is pierced. A shiny metal barbell right through the swollen head, the bead of precum glistening next to the steel apadravya.

“I’d like to say once won’t hurt, but we both know better.” I watch in stunned silence as Markus fists his shaft at the base with one hand then grabs my hip and forcefully pulls my ass to the edge of the bed with the other. “I have an addictive personality.” He slides the head through my folds, up and down my slit a few times, applying a little more pressure each time he passes my clit. “And since I’m a glutton for punishment and you’re a mouthy brat who doesn’t know when to quit, it’s gonna hurt for both of us.”

Then he slams into me and my vision goes black.

White spots slowly come into focus as my core stretches around his girth, the apadravya hitting my g-spot just right that my back bows off the mattress.

Oh my god, this feels amazing.

It feels incredible and he’s barely moved.

So, I wiggle my hips and watch Markus suck in a sharp breath before that evil grin is back.

“Brat, indeed.” In one quick move, he has both of my wrists in one hand, my arms above my head and pinned to the bed, and the other is wrapped around my throat. “I told you this has to hurt.”

Yep, Markus Favre is about to set a record for making me come without actually moving because having his fingers squeezing the side of my neck while my panties are in my mouth and I can’t move because of the position we’re in? I’m going to explode the moment he does anything.

Anything except what he actually does.

I watch Mark search my face, those kaleidoscope eyes scanning every feature before his hand starts to loosen.

And I panic.

I shake my head emphatically and lean up a little, pressing my throat to his palm the best I can, begging this man to fuck me, to love me and make it hurt if he needs to because when this is all said and done, Mark is going to finally understand that he isn’t a pity fuck or anything else.

He’s my soulmate, our soulmate, and the five of us have to be together in order to feel whole. My teddy is the last piece of my puzzle and none of us are complete without him.

“You like this?” he asks skeptically then shakes his head when I nod like crazy. “Then let’s make this one a good one.”

With that, he’s squeezing my throat again, my arms pinned tighter to the mattress as Mark starts thrusting. Slowly at first, steady but hard enough to scoot the bed. His pelvis grinds against me every time he slams himself inside me, rubbing my triangle piercing and my clit, those tiny shock waves sparking each time he does.

I moan around the sheer fabric in my mouth, my stare locked with Mark’s as he cuts off the sound, tightening his grip while I lift my legs higher on his hips. His apadravya strokes my g-spot quicker as he picks up his pace, every brutal thrust sending me closer to the edge. My vision gets fuzzy and starts to blur but I don’t look away, don’t do anything but watch my teddy’s face, the way he doesn’t break my stare with each grunt and groan.

He releases my throat briefly as he quickly adjusts our position, rolling me to my side while he places one knee on the bed, Mark straddling my thigh so we’re basically scissoring. My eyes practically roll up into my skull at the new sensation, the way his piercing hits deeper, how his cock stretches and fills me with each punishing thrust.

His blunt nails dig into my thigh as Mark brings it to his chest, my knee resting on his shoulder while pulling me toward him then wraps his fingers around my throat again.

“Fuck,” he grunts as his hips piston into me, my orgasm shooting down my spine. “Fuck, Leo, I’m gonna come.”

All I can do is nod.

I nod my agreement and press my throat against his palm, fisting the sheet in one hand while the other flies to Mark’s forearm.

That’s when it happens.

When my nails dig into his muscle and flesh, when Markus somehow goes harder and faster, lifting my leg higher so my ass is flush against him.

My climax slams into me just as forcefully as Mark, rushing through every inch of my body and back again, crescendoing again and again as he groans out his release.

That’s when I orgasm so goddamn hard with the fourth piece of my heart and soul buried inside, his hand tightening on the sides of my neck until I’m breathless, I immediately start to cry.

Markus Favre gave me my first ever emotional orgasm, and I can never let him go because of it.

The look of horror that just replaced the blissed out one on his handsome face says otherwise, though.

“Jesus, Leonor.” He quickly pulls out, carefully dropping my leg and rolling me to my back, helping me sit up as the hand that was on my throat pulls my panties out of my mouth while I all but sob. “Leo, I didn’t?—”

“I love you, Markus Favre, and if you think for one minute I don’t then you’re the stupid one.” I throw my arms around his neck the second his naked ass hits the mattress next to me, quickly straddling his lap while I bury my face in his neck and cry. “I’m so in love with you and it’s not out of pity or any other stupid thing you could think of. I love you because you’re you, you’re my perfect teddy bear, and I can’t go another moment without you knowing it.”

I feel him chuckle as Mark wraps his arms around me, rubbing my back before grabbing my buttcheeks and pulling me closer. “You mean that, sugar?” When all I do is nod like a bobble head in the crook of his neck and wrap myself around him like a koala, Mark laughs. “You want to look me in the eye and say it? I’m not going to believe you if you don’t.”

Slowly lifting my head, I ignore the way the tears roll down my face and meet those pretty greenish-brown eyes. “I love you. I love you so fucking much and if you can’t accept that then?—”

Then he’s kissing me again.

Sweetly this time, soft and almost reverently.

Mark cups my cheek and runs his thumb under my eye, smoothing it back and forth each time our lips meet.

“Leo?”

“Hmm?” I sniffle as he smiles against my lips.

“I love you.” As I smile back and kiss him again and again, ready to burst at the seams because of how happy he just made me, Markus Favre does what he does best and makes this moment truly his. “But I can feel my cum running out of your pussy and dripping on my cock so unless you want to wait for me to get hard and use it as lube for your perky little ass, you’re gonna need to move so I can clean up and avoid leaving a jizz stain for Justine to find later.”

Wiggling against his cock and giggling when he inhales sharply, I just hug Markus harder.

I am never letting him go after that.