12. Halved （Dust）

12

Halved (Dust)

Four Months Later

L osing a man's wife fucked him up. I drank when I wasn't on the hunt like the world's meanest hound, pouring over every damned clue I could, so fuckin' dogged and determined I gave Bingo a run for his money.

Booze didn't stop the dreams anymore. Neither did the optimistic words from my brothers, or Ma, who told me every day I'd be an idiot to give up.

Nothing shut up Early whenever I closed my eyes. I saw my destiny all over again, the night he'd decided to haunt my evil ass forever.

Why couldn't I see Hannah? Why the fuck not? If it could've been her ghost instead of his, I would've grabbed her, put my lips on hers, and told her what a fuck up I'd been not to follow her to the hospital that night. We could've stopped this shit from ever coming down.

Instead, I got my old man with his beard, his cold black eyes, his evil grin. Same dream, same memory, same reminder I'd wracked up a heavy fuckin' debt to pay. With Hannah leaving, criss-crossing the country where nobody could find her, I knew the bitch called karma had come to collect.

Every time I closed my eyes, I remembered the precise moment everything was destined to go to shit.

“Get the fuck down here, boy. You think hanging around the recruiter's office all day gives you an excuse to roll into this clubhouse an hour late?” Early puffed a thick cigar, shooting me a dirty look.

It was just him in the basement, and none of the other brothers, weird as hell. I wore my cut with the prospect patch over my new Navy shirt, something I decided I better settle into before I shipped off in a couple weeks to the Merchant Marine fleet.

“What's going on, Prez?” I asked slowly, taking the steps into the old storage cellar one at a time. Prez was the closest I'd get to calling this fucker dad. I hadn't used that word since I was twelve, almost half a lifetime ago.

“Your time to become a man, that's what.” He grabbed my wrist as soon as we were down, stretched out my hand, and handed me a silver blade with the club's logo inscribed in the handle. “I ain't letting you ship out overseas 'til you remember what you're coming home to. And Danny, you are coming the fuck home. You'll be holding the gavel someday, making this club bigger and better than I ever did, assuming I can get your damned balls to drop.”

I tasted sour, evil guilt on my tongue. Early didn't ask me a second time, or give me anymore details, just pushed me toward the uneven opening under the clubhouse, a dark little hole I suspected he used to hide the junk he'd been selling outstate.

Tonight, the gap wasn't the pitch black, musty hellhole I'd been expecting. There was a flashlight glowing inside, and it lit the ugly, sweaty face of the man handcuffed inside.

“Ah, Jesus fuckin' Christ. You're really doin' this, Early? Sending a fuckin' kid to cut my throat?” The stranger bared his teeth when he looked up and saw me, revealing a few fresh, bloody gaps in his mouth.

“He'll do you clean, motherfucker,” Early said behind me. “Show some damned gratitude. After what you did to Flap and Donny last week, I oughta feed your own balls down your throat, one tiny piece at a time.”

That shut the man up. I took a long look at our prisoner, noticing the different patches on his cut. DEADHANDS MC, GEORGIA, they said, a rough crew we were running into more often than we liked.

“Go ahead, son. Show me you ain't a pussy. You know what this fucker did, yeah?”

“Yeah.” I meant it, too. “I know.”

The entire club was up in arms about it. Last week, Early sent Flap and old man Don down to Georgia to unload smack. Donny came back bloody and bruised, but he'd brought Flap home in a truck, both his hands missing, ending his Harley riding days forever.

“What're you waiting for?” Prez thundered behind me, annoyed with each second ticking by, while the fuck laid out in front of me continued breathing.

“This ain't right. Him down here in the dark, cuffed like this, dying like a stuck pig. He's helpless.” I watched Early's fist tighten out of the corner of my eye. He'd knocked me on my ass plenty of times, and clenched his rings into a fist a thousand more, before he laid into me or Ma over pure bullshit. “Prez, I know who he is, and what he is. I've got no sympathy. Still, I'm not into gutting this motherfucker like we found him caught in a bear trap.”

“Fuck you, Danny. Should kick myself in the ass for thinking you'd know right from wrong.” We locked eyes, as soon as I turned around.

On the ground, wedged in that little space, the Deads prisoner laughed. His jeering ratcheted up when Early took me by the throat, spun me around, and slammed my head against the wall.

“You know what, Mister Fancy Fuckin' Sailor? I think you need to learn why that point you're making is total horseshit. Tell you what, we're gonna do things your way tonight for once. Here, let me get this fuck outta his cuffs. We'll put him against the wall, give him a blindfold and a cigarette, and I'll hand you my gun to do the job.”

What the fuck had I done? The bastard in the crawlspace twisted, craning his neck to look at me while my old man kneed him in the back, held him down, and jerked his hands up behind his back. I watched the little key slip into the lock, popping his cuffs open.

When I looked into his eyes, I'd expected anger, fear, or at least a mutual fuckin' understanding that I was offering him a chance to die like a man. Quick and easy.

Didn't see any of that shit. I saw nothing. No spark, no gratitude, no making peace with God.

I swallowed. “Dad, watch the fuck –“

Before I realized I'd let dad slip out, the motherfucker kicked my old man in the stomach, sending his head crashing against the edge of the low brick ceiling. Early went down with a grunt, and the freed asshole had his paws on my father's belt, going for his nine.

I fucked up royal. Before he could grab the gun and start shooting, I lunged into the crawlspace, kicking the prisoner in the knees. The fuck went down easy, probably too shaky and weak from being holed up in there for God only knew how long.

I landed on top of him, and we rolled, thrashing around in a space barely bigger than a grave, my knife searching for his face.

Shit, shit. Asshole nearly knocked the blade from my wrists, snarling the entire time.

“You stupid little cocksucker!” he roared, bouncing as hard as he could to hit me in the stomach. “Should've listened to your old man. Ain't no honor among enemies, asshole. You're mine. I'm gonna slit both your throats, kill every last fuckin' one of you, soon as I –“

I threw my whole weight into the next jab, and it found its mark. There was a sickening crunch, a splash of blood. We both went still. Early groaned behind me, halfway knocked outta the crawlspace by the scuffle.

Took forever to catch my breath. Crawling out, I threw the bloody knife in front of me, standing on my knees while my old man leaned into the wall, nursing the world's biggest knot on his forehead.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I screamed, starting to shake. “You knew he'd do that, and you freed him anyway, all just to make a fuckin' point?”

“Fuck you. Didn't have another way to make you understand. I'd do it all over again, too, if I still need to drill it into your head, Danny boy. You're about to set sail to help Uncle Sam with his law and order. Is it really so fuckin' hard for you to see I'm doing the same?”

I wanted to be sick. Law and order was about the last thing he'd done to this club, turning it into a violent, drug peddling slush fund for his retirement, which mostly consisted of special mods on his bikes, imported scotch, and gifts for the girls he fucked behind Ma's back.

“I've killed for this club. It's all I've known. I ain't going anywhere if that's what you're worried about.” I stopped, looking my old man dead in the face. “When I get back and sit at the table again with the brothers, let's get one thing straight. I will never, ever run this shit like you. Fuck your legacy.”

“Calm down, boy. You're really running scared if you think I'm trying to remake you in my fuckin' image. Gave up on that a long time ago.” He stood up straight, walked over, and put his dirty hands on my shoulders, squeezing so hard it hurt. “I'm trying to teach you some common fuckin' sense so you don't end up like the fucker bleeding out behind you. ”

As if on cue, I turned my head for a split second, noticing the dark red blood flowing against my boot. The life I'd ended wasn't just going to disappear without a few last ugly reminders.

“It doesn't have to be this way, Prez. You don't have to run shit this way. You could –“

“Danny, shut up. When you're wearing my patch, holding my goddamned gavel, you can turn this shit into a big biker beauty pageant for all I care. Trouble is, you still don't get it.”

“What? What's so fuckin' important you dragged me down here for this?”

Sighing, he spun me around, forcing me to stare into the darkness at the man's corpse again. Early's face came close, his lips pressed against my ear, forcing me to feel his tangled grey beard against my neck.

“Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust, son. That's the only law worth a damn in this life. You kill the motherfuckers who deserve it as quick, as easy, and as painful as you can, or those motherfuckers kill you worse.” Very slowly, he pulled away, making me shake from the sudden draft against my skin where his beard had been. “Congratulations, Dust. I'm gonna make sure that name gets stitched on your cut before you ship the fuck out. It'll help you remember everything that happened tonight.”

Fuck remembering. Like I could even forget.

The last memory I had that night was standing down there alone, after he'd gone upstairs, yelling after me to clean up the fuckin' mess, and make sure nobody found the dead man's skin and bones .

I busted my ass scrubbing away his blood, bagging up his body for the truck, and hauling him deep into the Smokies alone. Feral tears scorched my face while I dug his grave.

My old man wasn't just a stone cold bastard. For once in his brutish life, the fuck was right.

If I hadn't jumped on the Deads thug when I did, we both would've been toast. I'd tried to show a little mercy, a smidge of honor, and I'd nearly gotten fucked over in the worst way possible.

Never again. Early taught me something that night, and I only resented my new road name because he'd thought of it before I did.

Dust. The final form of every living thing. Meant I'd kill anybody before they fucked with my club, or the ones I loved.

Ashes to ashes wouldn't just rain down to stop it, but they fuckin' had to. Losing brothers, lovers, or family was the only fear I had left, and I vowed that night I'd never let it conquer me.

Except I hadn't conquered shit. I jerked awake in my bed, sprawled out, covering the empty spot where Hannah hadn't slept next to me for several evil months.

Like every morning since she'd left, I punched the emptiness, starting another fucked up day in a rage.

I rode to the clubhouse and sat down in my office, taking in the day's reports left on my desk by Joker. The Veep fed me a lot of info. Held my breath flipping through those pages, wishing and hoping I'd find a lead to Hannah, the Sicilians, anything that would bring her home.

There were profit numbers from the latest gun runs we did for the Grizzlies and the Prairie Devils, going down to the coast. Another letter of condolence from some mafia fuck in Ireland, who'd assured us he had our backs when we finally tracked down Dom and his boys. The Sicilians wouldn't escalate their war with reinforcements, as long as they had to worry about reprisals in Europe.

Profit statements from the garages and the Ruby Heel. Our body work, dancers, and booze brought in more clean money than ever this quarter. Didn't do a damned thing to patch the black hole in my stomach.

When I got to the end of the reports, I sighed. There was nothing about Dominick Barone, and even less about Hannah.

I reached for the half full bottle of Jack in my bottom drawer. Nearly hit the ceiling when something long and wet slid across my hand.

“Fuck you, wolfie! You're gonna give a man a goddamned heart attack one of these days.” Failing to see the huge wolfhound laying in the corner when I came in told me how fuckin' blitzed I'd really been.

Bingo pulled his head away and stretched, his mouth opening wide in a yawn, tail wagging because he didn't have a care in the world. I would've given anything for a taste of that attitude, right about now.

I pushed my chair over and stroked his head while I poured myself a shot, listening to his heavy breathing. “You've only been with us for a little while, and you've already seen a heap of shit. Fuckin' shame, really.”

The dog pressed his head into my hand, oblivious to the club's many struggles and fuck ups over the past year. Hadn't all been bad, of course. Half the boys were wed off or raising kids. Their stories had happy endings. I started to believe the same slice of heaven might be waiting around the corner for me.

Big mistake. Colossal.

My hand tightened on the little shot glass while I took a second hit from the bottle. This shit only did so much to numb the demon churning in my guts. It wouldn't be truly tamed 'til I brought her back.

I believed she was alive out there somewhere, ignoring the savage voice deep down that said I was wasting my time, and everybody else's, too.

The third shot was about to go down my throat when my door swung open. Bingo jerked up and walked across the room to make room for Firefly.

We'd shared an icy peace the last few months, ever since Hannah up and disappeared. Now, the giant stood over me, looking like a grenade about to go off, flattening his hands on my desk.

“You got something to say, or what?” I asked, looking back with daggers in my eyes.

“I believed you, Cap'n. Listened to every fucked up thing you said in church last week, when you swore up and down you were looking for her, giving it everything you had. ”

“Not sure what you're pissed about because I gave you the God's truth. What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? Pulling my pud while I think about how much I miss her doing it for me?”

The whiskey had hit my system quicker than I believed. Words came out like bee stings on the tongue. Knew I sounded like an asshole, even if there was a bigger one standing in front of me.

Slowly, Firefly reached out, grasped the almost drained bottle, and gripped it in one hand. “I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me how throwing this shit down your gullet at ten o'clock in the morning helps bring my sis home. Half a minute. Go.”

I stood up, tilting my face up, my eyes locked to his like knife on bone. Over in the corner, Bingo whined, sensing the storm about to break open in this little room.

“Whatever the fuck else you've got to say or do to me, just let the dog go. He don't need to be here for this.”

Firefly grunted reluctant agreement as he walked over. He stroked the big grey dog's head 'til he stood up, and slowly ambled out the open door on four furry legs. I watched my big Enforcer cross the room after him, yank the door shut, slamming it so hard on its hinges the whole building shook.

“I gave you thirty seconds, Prez. You haven't said a fuckin' thing, which tells me you've got nothing.”

“Fuck, we oughta add a detective patch to the club ranks for the fine work you just did,” I said, stepping out from behind my desk, getting in his face. “We're missing the same woman for different reasons, so you deserve an answer that ain't just 'fuck off.' I come in here, morning after morning, looking for the day I see a scrap of paper that has a few answers on it. Every single evening, I go home, staying up 'til I pass out, combing over every file, hoping we missed something. Every fuckin' lead turns to ashes in front of my eyes, and then does it again when I'm stupid enough to double-check. That lead in Michigan last month that went fuckin' nowhere...the Grizzlies prospect who thought he saw her in Idaho...the drunken asshole at the Heel who told us she was right under our noses, two towns over, only to walk in where he said and find a bitch in a wig shooting up in front of her kid...”

My nostrils flared. That last incident a couple weeks ago really pissed me off.

The club called the good cops we knew as soon as we pushed the druggie bitch outta her house and got her kid to safety. Then I personally drove to the Heel, pulled the drunk who'd handed us the faulty tip out back, and put the fear of God into him for boozing so fuckin' much he thought a crank whore looked like my Hannah.

“So, you're giving up, Prez? That what you're saying?” Firefly snorted, shaking his head. “Fuck's sake. You know we're gonna get a hundred more false leads before we take a bite on one that's real. That's how this goes, and I'm doing my damnedest to keep my head straight, keep it clear, double-checking for anything – motherfucking anything – we might've missed.”

“That's just it – we don't have goddamned time for a hundred more fake leads. She's been missing for seven fuckin' months!” I pushed past him, hit the wall, and banged both my fists against it.

Seven. I counted them in my head every heartless night, right before I forced myself to blackout.

Some nights, Doctor Jack and Jim helped. Others, I got down on the floor, sweated like a hog, and did so many pushups I hit the floor with my arms half-broke, grinding my teeth angrily 'til I passed the fuck out.

Seven evil months without my Hannah. Seven months of darkness. Seven months shuffling through this life like a disembodied spirit.

“You're making excuses, Cap'n. I want her back just as much as you do,” Firefly said, his grip on the bottle easing. His knuckles weren't pale white anymore. Maybe he'd gotten cold feet about bringing it down on my skull.

“Fuck wanting, Firefly. I'm bringing her back. Maybe you're right about the bottle taking too much away from me. It bleeds time, focus. Hours and days when I could've hit the shit in front of me a few more times, triple checked a few more leads. I hear you, brother, and I'm fuckin' sorry.”

Apologies were supposed to help. This one tasted like ash in my mouth.

I kept my face to the wall, ashamed, wondering how I kept the boot off my own ass. Hated how it took this asshole behind me to admit I had a problem with the sauce cutting into these worthless leads.

“Don't apologize.” Firefly laid a stern hand on my shoulder. “Shape the fuck up, Prez. We just gotta be patient for a little while longer. Joker's touching base with the contacts we've got in Texas and Oklahoma, trying to sniff out anything new.”

“Bullshit,” I said, turning around to face him. Pulling out my pipe, I gave it a light, and motioned to the map behind my desk. The one with all the little rainbow tacks stuck in it, one for every place we thought we heard a rumor that wasn't total bullshit. “That's the trouble with all this, ain't it? Her route doesn't make sense. If anything we heard about her being in the Pacific Northwest was true, why the fuck would she give that up to go down to Texas? With her Sterner Corp ties, she'd be heading for Seattle, trying to get to Alaska, or fuck knows where from there.”

“My sis ain't stupid, Prez. Last thing she'd do is walk right into a fuckin' trap.” Firefly stared me down.

I never broke my gaze, but something inside me reached up, giving my heart a bitter twist. My Enforcer's words stung because she'd taken the bait. Dom and his bastards wanted her out there alone, by herself, where the club couldn't protect her.

And I hadn't stopped her. If only I'd gone to the damned hospital that night, walked her back to her car, throttled the motherfucker who ambushed her and tried to take her hostage before she crashed his shit on the mountain...

“Prez? What the hell's the matter?”

I closed my eyes, shoving my regretful demons back in their boxes. I said a quick, silent prayer in my head .

Lord, just a little while longer. Banish this darkness, send me a light, anything to bring my woman home.

I wasn't a religious man. Hard to be anything resembling that when you'd dispatched as many sick fucks as I did over the years. Still, I prayed, sent up my desperate hopes to a God who didn't owe me a damned thing.

“You've been pissed at me for months. I don't blame you,” I said, stepping up to my Enforcer, putting my hand around his wrist. “If it wasn't for this shit between us, Firefly, she might be standing here today, safe and sound. She went to the hospital without me the night your kid was born because you couldn't stand having me around.”

Firefly bared his teeth. Angry muscle bulged underneath my fingertips. “Now's not the time to dwell on the past. I always said we'd sort out our shit as soon as we brought her home. That's all that matters.”

“We're sortin' it out now,” I said. “Because as long as there's this quiet, toxic resentment between you and me, brother, we ain't finding her. Go ahead. Get it outta your fuckin' system. Maybe the blow to my skull will do me some good, knock some sense into places that need it.”

My fingers dug into his skin. He tried to move back, but I wouldn't let him, holding on in a death grip 'til he moved that bottle high.

“What the fuck's gotten into you?” he said, his blue eyes going wide. “You're acting like a nut right now, Prez, and I –“

“You're pissed. You hate me for shoving my ring on her finger, and then letting her get away. And I hate you for hating it, wanting to spit in my face over the best fuckin' thing that ever happened to me. You thought I was too goddamned bad to put my lips on your little sis, have her in my bed, bury my dick in her, and promise her she'd be carrying my kid within the year.”

I'd seen my boy's eyes glowing like hell itself a few dozen times in battle. They'd never been this bright, this hot, this pissed off.

“You know what you're asking for, Prez?” he snorted, clenching his teeth. “I'll fuck you up. Bad.”

“Exactly. I want you to get this fuckin' poison out of your system so we can put it aside and find my wife. Don't give two shits if you refuse to believe me about going after her. I love her. I need her. I ain't giving up on her for anything, and I'll crawl through hell itself with a broken face if it'll stop the distractions, and put the energy you spend busting my balls into bringing her back.”

The bottle in his hand twitched. I closed my eyes, bracing for a special kind of pain that'd probably knock me out cold, if it didn't do brain damage.

Instead of hearing the whiskey bottle colliding with bone, we both heard a dog in the newly opened doorway. Bingo yipped once. We both turned to see him standing in the hall, Joker holding him by the leash, squinting at the showdown in my office.

“Looks like I picked a bad time to pass out good news.”

“News? What news?” I pushed past Firefly, frantically approaching my Veep, studying the smile on his face. It still didn't look quite right when he smiled, even though it happened a lot lately. The muscles must've needed practice to work right after all the years he spent scowling, loathing, waiting to avenge his dead brother.

“We've got ourselves a hit in some dusty little town in West Texas, Prez. Came in this morning. Warpath Nomads, riding down from Oklahoma, heading for Mexico.”

My heart stopped pumping for five brutal seconds. The Warpaths were solid, only other outlaw MC in Dixie we trusted. Firefly stood next to me, taking in the news, while Joker went on.

“They think they spotted her driving into town for groceries.”

I grabbed him by his cut, digging my fingers in, stepping over his boots and the dog laying down on the floor. “Think, or know? There's a big fuckin' difference.”

“Know, Prez. They sent me these about an hour ago.” He reached into his pocket and held up his phone.

The first pic had a license plate number I'd burned into my memory. Second pic showed her getting outta her car, those sweet locks I'd smelled and fisted in my hands a hundred times catching the Texas light. Third pic stopped my fuckin' heart for a whole lot longer than five goddamned seconds.

It was Hannah, wiping down her windows while she fueled up, beautiful as the day she left me forever. No, more beautiful than I'd ever seen her before, because her body showed one big difference from how I remembered it.

That bump in her belly, sticking out, could only mean one thing .

Firefly made a sound like he stopped breathing when he saw it. Shook me straight to my fuckin' core, so rough and sudden it was like catching a bullet. I gripped Joker's leather in both hands tighter, pulling hard, only support I had to keep me on my feet.

“Fuck...” One word rendered me speechless.

Joker sensed the earthquake rolling through my body. Veep's hands were wrapped around mine a second later, helping keep me up, walking me over to the beat up couch in the corner, across from my desk.

Nobody said shit 'til I was sitting down, with Firefly next to me, pale as a ghost.

“Christ, Veep, get them on her,” he said. “You gotta –“

“Tell them to turn their fuckin' bikes around and pin her down!” I snapped, cutting my Enforcer off. “Block off every exit in that damned town. Don't let her out of sight 'til they know we're on our way. Find her a room in town, keep her cozy, as long as they're under her watch, I don't fuckin' care!”

Joker's face softened. “Like I said, brothers, I only got this shit an hour ago. They caught up to her about a half hour before that. By the time I got it, saw it, and texted them back, they'd moved the fuck on. I told them the same thing you just said, believe me. Unfortunately for us, they've got business south of the border. Big Dog told me personally they can't be bothered holding up for our missing girl. They did us a favor just reporting it.”

“You're shittin' me.” I gave him a hard look, but his eyes were honest. That dagger lodged in my guts for the last seven months gave me the sharpest twist ever.

“No, Prez, I wish I was. Ain't like we've got any authority over their club. They're our friends, and they've just given us a gold mine here. Best we can do is take that shit into our own hands, get on our bikes, and find her.”

Joker laid down so much truth it turned my fuckin' stomach. I had to keep it together. “Get the boys together. Whatever the fuck it takes to bring them all here in the next hour, ready to go. Everybody except Tin and Lion, who'll hold down home with the prospects.”

“On it.” My Veep nodded. He stood, stroked his dog's head, and led the animal out. He never wasted time, a virtue that stuck, despite all the happy changes upending his life.

Me, I had one shot at tracking down my woman, and having something resembling the happiness I'd lost. Firefly looked at me, and I wondered if he'd want to pick up on where we'd left off after this punch to the guts.

“You've still got that thing in your hand,” I said, looking at the bottle. “If you're gonna do it, let's get it over with, fast. I need to be on my feet and ready to ride, hoping to Christ we're not too late by the time we get to Texas.”

Firefly stared at me. His hand released, and the bottle hit the ground with a heavy thud. “Prez...you just heard the same thing I did. Whatever the fuck my beef is with you, I'm too big a man to whack the bastard who put a kid in my sister's belly. And what you said earlier...fuck me. I hate it that you care about her, hate it that you're speaking from the heart, killing every last instinct I've got to put your ass through the wall. Fuck you, Cap'n. You've made me a believer, made me think you might not be total trash for my little sis. Only thing that matters is bringing Hannah home.”

“Damned straight.” We both stood up.

Only lasted a second before the big man threw his arms around me, squeezing me like a boa constrictor. That big, brotherly hug hurt like it was meant to. We'd been at each other's throats since before she disappeared.

Now, we forced that venom out, shed it in a bear hug mean enough to splinter bones. When he pulled away, so did I.

“Get your shit together, brother. We've got a long run ahead, and you know we're not stopping for any sleep.”

“No breaks except for gas and coffee.” He headed for the door, stopping once before he ripped it open to look back at me, a fractured smile on his face. “And Prez, if I catch you sneaking anything that's straight from the bar, I will kick your ass from coast to coast.”

“I'd expect nothing less.” We shared another nod, and he was gone.

I shook off the remaining booze in my system, tuned up my bike, and set to work packing up the guns we'd need to blow through anyone who got in our way.

Nothing, nobody, and fuck all was stopping me from finding my wife.

One Week Later

Lady Luck wasn't giving us a damned thing without working us like dogs. The first day we rolled into that dusty little town just south of Odessa and couldn't find her, I nearly hit the roof.

I rode fifty miles further with just Skin and Sixty at my side, stopping at every ranch along the way. Had to bite my tongue 'til it was almost chewed clean through every time the answer came back the same.

No, sir, haven't seen anybody like her.

Don't recognize the plates.

You sure she's been this way? Hardly anybody takes this route if they're cruising to the coast.

That last reply, and every bullshit word like it, caused me to see so much red my brothers had to help me back on my bike before I shot the messenger.

She couldn't slip away from us, for fuck's sake. Not when we were this close, and it wasn't just Hannah I needed in my arms again to make me whole.

She was about to bring my kid into the world. My son, my daughter, my flesh and blood I hadn't known existed for over eight fuckin' months.

Before, I respected boys like Joker or Firefly when they got crazy about their pregnant wives, or their secret babies. After seeing that pic on my Veep's phone, I respected it a thousand times more, felt the pick digging into my brain every merciless second my wife and kid weren't with me.

I sat on the cracked patio outside my motel room, puffing my pipe like a chimney, trying not to chew clean through the stem. I was gone, too deep in dark thoughts, too distracted watching my old man's ghost laughing at me to notice Firefly 'til he had his hand on my shoulder .

“News from the scouts,” he said. Soon as I saw his serious expression, I hopped up, studying his eyes. “Her car's been spotted at a hospital about thirty miles away. I told the boys to cruise every exit. Don't let her leave for anything.”

“Fuck, what are waiting for?” We both went for our bikes, threw on our helmets, and peeled out of the lot so fast my head whipped backwards.

It was all open roads out here. Normally, a comfort, a zen-like blur I'd lose myself in when times were fucked, letting the growling engine and spotty lines on cracked asphalt bring me into a zone where I didn't have to worry about any bullshit.

Wasn't working today. I sweated in the cool winter air the entire way, wondering what brought her to a goddamned hospital.

Sixty, Skin, Crawl, and Joker waited for us near the main entrance when we rode up and parked at the small medical center. I started heading for the door, but the Veep grabbed me by the shoulders, pushed me back, holding me scary tight.

“Joker? What the fuck?!”

“Hold up, Prez. We've got company.”

It took everything I had to look over his shoulder instead of knocking him flat, and then rushing in to find my girl. Too bad he wasn't bullshitting.

Over on the other side of the parking lot, several squad cars were parked along the curb, quietly blinking their cherry-blue lights. Far more cops than there oughta be at an out of way hospital like this on a normal day.

“What happened here?” I growled, my hands tugging at my Veep's leather.

“Don't know yet,” Skin cut in next to me. “None of us do. We figured we'd let you decide how to approach the questioning. If we all go in there at once, it might draw more attention than we want, depending on what's gone down here...”

“They've got patrols out front,” Crawl said, pushing his shaggy black hair away from his eyes. “Whatever it was, they put the whole hospital on lockdown. Nobody armed is getting in, or out.”

I glared, sighing when I saw Skinny boy's face filled with concern. “You're right. Firefly, you're with me. The rest of you boys, stay put, and watch the bikes. Any of those badges come over asking what we're doing here, you tell 'em we're checking one of our crew in for a nasty stomach bug.”

They nodded. I headed inside with my Enforcer, hoping like hell we'd both be able to keep a lid on our emotions if the answers we got about Hannah came back ugly.

A panicked looking woman sat at the front desk. Had to slam my hand down flat in front of her to finally get her attention.

“Can I help you?” She sat up taller when she saw us, like a woman who'd just spotted a couple wolves roaming close by.

“Sure hope so. We're looking for Hannah Grayson. Should've been a pregnant lady who checked in here sometime in the last couple days. ”

The woman's fingers clicked across her keyboard. She chewed her lip, telling me either the system was fucked, or nothing was coming up easy.

“Try Hannah Davis, too,” Firefly said.

I turned my head, staring him down. Hannah wouldn't use her fuckin' maiden name...would she? If she wasn't under mine, I had to believe it was something different, some alias that wouldn't shove my heart into the chipper for another round of pure torture, knowing she'd given up my name, like we never happened.

“No patients named Hannah the last few days,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “I'm sorry, gentlemen. We're having a bit of a situation at the moment. If you can't provide more personal details about the woman you're looking for, I'm going to have to ask you to –“

“Mind telling us what happened?” Firefly stepped up with a lot more tact than I would've mustered just then.

“Oh...Jesus. You haven't heard? Guess it hasn't hit the evening news yet, huh?” She sat back, rocking the little chair on its wheels. We both shook our heads. “A group of really creepy men went after this pregnant lady who checked in last night.”

“Pregnant lady?!” I spat both words, choking on my heart leaping into my throat.

Firefly laid a hand on my shoulder and gave me a look. Just let her talk, Prez. Don't fuck this up.

“Yeah.” She sighed. “Really, really sad. They took her away before she even had her kid. Killed a nurse and roughed up a few doctors. The cops are hunting them down right now, calling for backup across the county. It's a full on manhunt.”

Shit.

“Did you see them? What did they look like?” I asked, leaning over the high top above her, trying to talk like a rational human being.

“No. I was on break at the time when the crazy went down, thank God. It could've been me at the end of their knife.” She paused, looked at me, and wilted a little when she saw the intensity in my eyes. “Um...I think I've already said too much. We're supposed to keep this to ourselves, seeing how it hasn't made it to the news just yet. Who are you looking for again?”

“Shit, look at this, just got a text on my phone.” Firefly stepped in front of me, holding out a message from Cora on his screen, asking if he'd made it to Texas okay.

I cocked my head. What the fuck was he up to?

“This ain't even the right hospital, brother!” he said, grinning like a fool, before he turned to the receptionist. “We're real sorry for the trouble. We got mixed up. My sister's about to have a baby, and we thought it was here. Just heard she's a little ways upstate – siblings and all.” He shook his head convincingly.

Very slowly, I stared at the receptionist and nodded, playing along. Thank fuck somebody was still using their brain. We didn't need more problems right now.

We had to get out of here, had to hit the road, and stay ahead of the swarming law before they caught up to the Sicilians before we did. The law wasn't cut out for a rescue op like this. If they found the bastards first, I might never see my wife and kid again.

“Well, if there's anything else I can do for you boys, just say the word.” She went back to her screen, oblivious while we walked out.

One quick conversation with the brothers outside later, and we were back on our bikes, heading into a wintery rain on the highway. Cold ass sleet swept down my back, rolled down my leather in rivulets, bounced in front of me like God's wrath before it melted on the interstate.

I could've cursed nature, fate, the universe, everything keeping us from tearing down this road to bring my girl home faster. Instead, an eerie calm filtered through my blood, pulling the hot red sheet of rage off my eyes.

If I couldn't control what the fuck happened next, then I'd at least own the present.

Swore we'd see each other again. I'd taste Hannah's lips, push my fingers through her hair, hold her tighter than my own soul, tell her how fuckin' much I loved her.

I'd say it again. I'd say it a thousand times, pour it on again and again and again, 'til she was sick of hearing it.

These obstacles aimed to make it even sweeter when I got her back.

It was so close now. One big, beautiful, happy family. All the things I never knew I wanted before her. Everything I swore I'd have, or else die trying to claim.

We rode on twelve more miles before seeing that shitty hotel with the suspicious vans out front. I smiled like a maniac into the rain and the wind, grinned 'til Early's ghost staring back at me looked spooked as fuck.

What're you laughing at, boy? I heard him say, a quiver in his throat I'd never heard before. Don't you know it's about to go to shit? Reaper's gonna take her, right under your fuckin' nose.

“Yeah, old man, it's gonna be fuckin' awful for them,” I whispered. “Haven't been so ready for a kill in my life. Hope you've got room on the other side for these motherfuckers.”

Motherfuckers? Is that what you're calling your wife, your kid, the brothers you're about to get blasted in a shoot out over jack shit? You've already lost, Danny. Let them go.

“They ain't going anywhere but home. You know damned well who I'm talking about. Save a seat for Dom next to Satan after I rip his fuckin' throat out.”

I've got one for you, Danny boy.

You're a bad seed. Only ones who deserve to be reunited down here are you and me. Not that poor woman you've kicked halfway to hell, and another bastard kid who's gotta carry our tainted blood.

Rain dripped down my face. I'd lost my mind about an hour ago, but talking to this sick motherfucker gave me something to do, besides riffling through the hundred ways I'd personally murder Dominick Barone.

“I'll be there, telling you to shut the fuck up for the next trillion years if it gives my wife and kid a chance. Hell, we'll hang out all fuckin' day while the devil spit roasts us, and I'll remind you what a worthless, cheating, boozing piece of shit you were to Ma, and how you ran this club into the ground. We can both look up at everybody still breathin', wearing our patch proud, families growing like grapes on a vine with the richest soil anybody ever seen. You can watch me smiling while I'm tortured, old man, because I know I've done well. And I'm gonna bring her home before I die. Long before I ever listen to another word of your miserable, sadistic, cowardly fuckin' shit.”

I expected more hell shattering my head. Something about Hannah being dead, a ghostly scream so vicious it'd cause me to wreck, or maybe just his evil laugh, drifting through the sleet.

But it was quiet, lonely, magnificently desolate in this freezing rain, going down the final stretch.

For the first time in my life, behind the icy patter and the steady roar of engines, I heard a silence, dense as the thick sheet of grey clouds hanging over us. It was up to me to fill that void, wash it clean with blood, before I took everything I ever wanted, and never let go.