28. Mattias

Connor Darling was ridiculous.

How anyone so decent, so good, so generally wonderful, could think ill of himself was beyond me. Hell, I was nowhere near as good as him, and I didn't think as badly of myself as he did.

I tried not to hold it against his ex, who'd no doubt been very invested in spin classes or something, and probably convinced Connor that love handles weren't about love at all.

I begged to fucking differ. Every ounce of softness on Connor had been well paid for in cookies and laughter and long nights at a desk trying to improve people's lives, and all that only made me like him more.

But what I was concerned about in the moment wasn't softness. It was the hardness that was most definitely just for me. Connor rolled up into me, his cock pressed into my ass as his lips once more sought out mine.

Our tongues tangled together, not fighting but pressing in, wanting more—as much of each other as we could possibly get.

Connor reached an arm behind me, pulling me closer to him, then leaned both of us hard to the right, reaching out with his right hand to the nightstand, tugging the drawer open to reveal... condoms and lube.

I pulled away to gasp for breath. "You clever bastard. Luring me here with ice cream and TV and plans."

He was still just the slightest bit uncertain, smiling up at me as he panted for breath, but not grabbing the supplies he'd stashed away in case of sex. Me? I had no such hesitation. I leaned over and snatched the box of condoms, struggling with it until I had the cardboard open, and tearing one off the strip. Then another, which I set on the nightstand, before dumping the rest of them back into the drawer.

He grinned. "High hopes?"

"I mean, you're pretty hot," I said, as though I needed to think about it. "Can't blame a guy for hoping for all he can get. You okay with me riding you?"

His cheeks flushed bright pink and he took a sharp, short breath, nodding. "So very okay with that."

I practically tore my shirt off, sending it sailing across the room, quickly followed by the rest of my clothes. Beneath me, he was grinning, holding back laughter. "You're not in a hurry or anything, are you?"

"Fuck yes I am. I want you in me. Like, yesterday, preferably."

"Well, I can't help with the time travel, but I can get naked." And he proceeded to wriggle his way out of his slacks, then everything else, including his socks, till we were both finally, completely and gloriously naked.

He clearly had another moment of hesitation when he tossed his shirt away, but frankly, I thought he was still in pretty damn good shape. I met his eyes, holding them, running my fingers down his chest and belly, down to take hold of his cock. "Perfect. Fuck, so perfect. I've been dreaming of this."

"Me too," he whispered back, and there was no more uncertainty. No more self-consciousness. Only Connor and Mattias and want.

And we could both have what we wanted, so screw waiting.

I ripped the condom packet open with my teeth and rolled it down onto him, then reached for the lube, covering my fingers and his cock, then reaching behind myself to do some perfunctory prepping. I didn't have the patience for the whole fucking nine yards—I wanted him this very minute, and I was willing to pay for it with that slight burn that said I'd rushed the prep.

A moment later, I was sliding down onto him, his cock standing ramrod straight and ready for me. Fuck, he was so perfect.

I threw my head back and lost myself in the sensation of being opened up on a cock—something I hadn't felt in years—and knowing it was Connor. Connor Darling, the man I'd spent the last three years falling in love with, against all odds. Filling me to the brim, leaving me feeling glutted and just...

This. This was all I wanted, for the rest of my life.

Connor.

His hands crept up to grip my thighs, and that finally caught my attention, making me look down at him, and smiling. Because he was smiling at me.

I pulled myself up slightly, then let my body fall down again, and he gasped and his eyes snapped shut, but the smile didn't fall off his face. It had to be plastered across mine too, because all this was just...

"This is incredible," I whispered, pulling myself up again, setting up a rhythm as I went, filling myself to the brim with him, over and over, and the sensation was just... I couldn't even think about anything else. All the bad shit happening to both of us fell away, and there was just me and Connor and the feel of his cock inside me.

The feel of us, moving together. The way we were supposed to be.

He slid his hands further up, gripping my hips tight and getting into the movement, pushing me up and then pulling me back down onto him, his hands stronger than I'd expected.

I looked back down into those bright blue eyes, and unbidden, the thought popped into my head that this was it. This was how I wanted the rest of my life to be. Riding Connor Darling in the king size bed in the heron room. The only sound around us the soft pants of our breaths and the light slap of skin on skin as I shoved down onto him again and again.

"Mattias," he gasped. "I'm not . . . not?—"

"Do it," I whispered back. "Come. I want to see you come inside me."

And that was all it took. He arched up, moaning aloud, shoving his cock deep inside me. I reached up to stroke myself, watching him come, whole body rigid as he pushed up and up and... it only took a handful of strokes before I was following him over the edge, spattering my spend across his chest.

He collapsed against the bed, giving me a sleepy smile, his blue eyes gone hazy with that post-orgasm drunkenness. "That was..."

"Yeah," I agreed, still panting.

When I'd caught my breath, I slid off him, then down onto the bed beside him. I took off the condom and tossed it in the trash, to be dealt with later, and then pulled a spare wet wipe out of the nightstand to do a perfunctory cleanup, since I kept them in every room.

And then, we fell asleep just like that, curled up together on that same bed, TV still playing dragons in the background, and I felt more settled than I had... well hell, maybe ever.