Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

TORIN

“Are you sure you’re okay going?” Hugo asks for the dozenth time in the last fifteen minutes of our drive to Atty’s. It’s New Year’s Eve and we’re heading to Atty’s house with his friends to ring in the new year.

“Yes,” I answer. Again. And try to fight my smile.

“We can leave at any time if you’re uncomfortable. Atty also has a couple spare rooms I’m sure we can use if you need a minute.”

I reach across the console and link my fingers with his. His gaze flickers to mine briefly but quickly returns to the road. It’s the eve of a holiday, late enough that the traffic is starting to die down. Our game against the Philadelphia Hatters ended a few hours ago. I love three-o’clock games. It meant we had enough time to go to my apartment, feed my fish, and drive back to Atty’s before nine.

“I’ll be fine.”

“It’s just my friends. Atty and Toby, Egon and Rake, Noah and Lix, Winny and Dana. Probably Joe from the house behind Atty’s. He tends to Atty’s garden. And probably Coach Ajo.”

A smile climbs as he talks about them. Honestly, I think I’ll be fine with them all. Probably still my blushing self that turns red as soon as someone looks at me, but I shouldn’t have an anxiety attack. They’re not strangers.

“I also think Max and Deryke will be there. They play for Philly and are Noah’s friends. We’re going to ignore the fact they beat us today.”

“You played a good game.”

Hugo shrugs. “Eh. We could have done better.”

“I said you played a good game today.”

“I’m only as good as my team.”

And humble too. Shaking my head, I watch out the window as we drive down the brightly lit streets. I recognize the neighborhood. Hugo has taken me to Atty’s before so I know we’re getting close.

“Yes, we played a good game today,” he concedes after a minute. “Not as good as Philly, but still good.”

“We’re doing really well this season. I think this loss brought us up to a 21-13 win-loss record; so yeah, there’s room for improvement but we’re having a great season.”

“We are,” he agrees. “I’m relieved that we’re doing well when we started off with two losses.”

“Vegas is a hard team to play. And I’m pretty sure Seattle was just a fluke.”

“We didn’t score a single goal in either game,” he deadpans.

“Like I said—hard team and fluke.”

Hugo snorts as we pull into Atty’s driveway. There are three cars parked there already, and a couple next door. I’m guessing that’s where Coach Ajo lives.

“You sure you’re okay?”

Thirteenth time. I grin. “I’m fine.”

Sighing, he nods and gets out of the car. He’s around to my door before I even manage to get my seatbelt off. Placing my hand in his proffered one, Hugo pulls me out of the car and right against his chest. His mouth is on mine before I can take another breath, and I sink into his hold.

Another car pulls in, their headlights blinding us, and Hugo pulls me toward the car so they can pull up beside us. When my eyes adjust again, I can see that it’s Rake in the driver’s seat, which means Egon is probably the passenger.

We wait until they get out. Egon’s got a smile. Besides Hugo, Egon’s the next in line who’s usually smiling.

“Where’ve you been?” Hugo asks Egon .

“Spending some time with Puck.”

I’ve been to their house once and have met Puck, their Maine Coon cat, which is roughly the size of a large bobcat. He’s enormous.

“Are you just getting here?” Egon asks as he comes around. Rake wraps his arm around Egon’s waist.

Hugo nods. “We were feeding Torin’s fish that is roughly the size of Puck.”

Egon looks at me with a huge grin. “Seriously?”

I nod. “He’s a tiger catfish.”

“He also has sharks and a giant sucky fish!”

His enthusiasm makes me smile.

“That’s cool. What do you feed them?”

“Fish heads,” Hugo says with a wide grin.

Egon looks at me and I laugh.

“They get fed other fish. I feed them the fish heads when I’m home, but the rest of the fish as well as other small sea creature parts are part of the frozen food they get everyday too.”

“That’s so awesome.”

“You can come see them sometime, but I live a long way from here.”

“I’d love to see them,” Egon says, grinning. He looks at Rake and there’s an indulgent expression he receives in return.

“I think we’re the last ones here,” Hugo points out, taking my hand and pulling me toward the door.

“There are more cars than I thought there would be,” Egon says. “That one in Ajo’s driveway. Actually… both of those cars in Ajo’s driveway. Whose are they?”

“I think they’re rentals. One of them is probably his cousin’s, he always rents a car when he’s here.”

Hugo knocks on the door when we get there. It’s already unlatched so it swings open a little. Toby’s there a minute later. “Hey,” he greets with a smile and backs up.

We file inside and while we’d normally take our shoes off, the back door on the other side of the house is open to the backyard. I can see straight through from where I’m standing.

Rake shuts the door behind us and flips the lock. I hear the deadbolt slide into place. Then we follow Toby through the house .

There are string lights hung all around the backyard. The kind with big bulbs. Between them, the outside lights, and the firepit, the entire yard is illuminated. It’s also filled with the best barbeque smells that instantly make my mouth water.

“Hey! My food tents!” Hugo exclaims with a beaming smile. “You’re using them.”

“We use them all the time,” Atty says, nudging his shoulder. “They were a great find.”

Hugo looks at me with a grin. It’s not hard to figure out what he’s referring to. Each dish has a little dome over it, protecting the food underneath from the outdoors and bugs. Not that I see or feel many bugs around.

“You know Max and Deryke?” Noah asks.

“In passing,” Hugo says, pulling me along toward them. He does the whole dudebro hand slap hug thing. I watch with amusement.

“This is Torin,” Noah introduces, turning Max’s and Deryke’s attention to me.

My cheeks heat right away and I instinctively move into Hugo’s side a little more as I lift my hand awkwardly to wave.

Hugo’s hand tightens around mine and he pulls me forward a little so he can take my hand and bring it around my back to pull me against his side. I flush.

“Torin’s my boyfriend,” he blurts, grinning.

“Cool,” Max says, giving me another smile. “You know my coach?” He nods to a man a couple dozen feet from us. He’s standing with Coach Ajo and… is that the ref? “He’s my handler.”

“I’m not your handler,” the man says and then looks at me and Hugo. “I am his coach. Tavis Davenport. Nice to meet you.”

Hugo beams. “If you’re not his handler, why are you here?”

“Hugo,” Noah hisses.

Hugo flinches. “I don’t mean that rudely,” he adds hastily.

Tavis chuckles. “Ajo and I are friends and he invited me over to celebrate the new year.”

“He’s Max’s handler,” Deryke deadpans, giving me an amused smile.

Tavis sighs.

“And the ref is here too?” Hugo asks, staring at the man I was pretty confident was the ref .

“This is Fallon,” Ajo says. “They’re my… cousin.”

“Of sorts,” Fallon answers.

“Oh! This is the cousin of sorts. I didn’t know he was a ref,” Hugo comments.

“Cousin of sorts?” Max asks.

“Fallon is my brother’s wife’s sister’s cousin-in-law.” He looks at Fallon. “Right?”

“I think you forgot an uncle’s dog walker’s niece in there somewhere,” Fallon says.

Max snorts.

I’m relieved when the conversation moves away from me. I remain pressed to Hugo’s side, watching and listening. The night carries on and I can’t help but think about how fortunate I am. My life is filled with laughter and friendship. And Hugo. Every single day, I have Hugo.

As if he knows I’m thinking sappy things about him, Hugo leans back in the chair we’re sitting in and wraps his arm around my waist. I adjust on his lap, but something sharp keeps poking me in my thigh. Like I’m sitting on a small rock.

Getting up, I stare at his leg. “What do you have in your pocket?”

There are half a dozen snickers around me and my face heats. I know what that feels like against my leg. This is something different.

“Nothing,” Hugo says. “I haven’t worn these pants in months. I forgot I had them.”

He stands and reaches into his pocket. A grin spreads across his face as he pulls his hand out and holds up a little duck between his thumb and pointer finger. Quiet laughter fills the yard.

“You haven’t found all those yet?” Egon asks.

Hugo snorts, shaking his head. “I doubt I’ve even found half of them.”

“I’ll throw it out,” Atty offers on his way by, holding out his hand.

Hugo shakes his head and stuffs it into his other pocket. “Nah. I like the color of this one. I’m going to keep it.”

I realize that his friends don’t know that he’s kept them all.

He sits again and pulls me back into his lap. There are still people looking this way so I flush. Naturally. Noah catches my attention. He’s watching me, sitting in Lix’s lap like I am Hugo’s. When I meet his eyes he smiles and then tucks himself into Lix’s arms.

He’s so pretty. He has his hair braided tonight and he’s wearing a dress with a delicate black collar around his neck. The dress is slim-fitting, hugging his lean figure. He’s simply… pretty.

I adjust in Hugo’s lap and lean into his arms. Noah shares another smile with me.

“Hey,” Max says. “Your team is tied for the most number of gay players on a team now.”

“I’m not gay,” Hugo says. “I’m bi. I still like women.”

“Let me say that again. The most LGBTQIA+ players on a team,” Max clarifies. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Hugo hasn’t gone public yet,” Toby reminds him.

“Doesn’t matter. He’s still on the team.”

“I’m not really part of the team,” Egon says.

“Yes, you are,” several people disagree.

“I’m part of the company,” Egon challenges. “Only the twenty-three players are part of the team.”

They spend several minutes debating that. Hugo’s not paying much attention until he comments, “Do you think a gay coach counts as a member of the team?”

The yard goes quiet. Everyone looks between him and the two coaches in the yard.

“No, I didn’t mean our coaches here tonight,” Hugo says but his eyes flicker to Ajo. He’s not loudly gay, but he almost always wears something with the pride flag on it. Even if it’s just a pin or a watch band. “Not that?—”

Ajo holds up his hand. “I’m not hiding my sexuality. I am gay.”

Hugo sighs.

“I think coaches aren’t part of the team either,” Tavis says. “They manage the team. In a way, they serve the team, much like Egon.”

“I disagree with that,” Winslow says. “I think coaches are definitely part of the team.”

“Why did you ask, Hugo?” Atty asks.

“I was just thinking about the number of gay and not-straight players. If we count coaches, then we beat Buffalo. But honestly, I forgot our coach is gay. I was thinking about Coach Adak in Carolina. He should count as a member of the team, so they have a gay player, too.”

“You forgot he’s gay?” Toby asks, amused.

“Well, I don’t forget you are because I see you all the time. With your husband.” Hugo gestures around the yard to encompass everyone who he sees regularly. “I don’t see Coach Ajo with anyone, so it doesn’t really occur to me to… remember he’s gay.”

“Good,” Noah says, taking the attention from Hugo. “That shouldn’t be something you need to think about regularly. It doesn’t matter or affect his coaching.”

“Noah,” Elixon chides, nipping at his jaw.

Noah sighs. “I’m not being defensive. I’m just pointing it out.”

“No, I get what he’s saying. Caulder? My friend from college who plays for Buffalo and is now the fourth openly gay player on Buffalo? His entire reason for remaining closeted as long as he did was so he wasn’t known the world over as a gay athlete. He was just an athlete. That’s what Noah’s saying. And that’s how Hugo views people. There isn’t a sexuality salutation at the beginning of their professions in his eyes. They’re just people.”

“Yes!” Noah practically shouts. “That’s what I’m saying. Just not eloquently.”

Elixon chuckles.

“I didn’t mean to say it wrong,” Hugo says. “I was just curious. I think it’s cool there are so many…” he trails off and I can tell by the look on his face that he’s working out the words he wants to say.

He’s far more aware of what comes out of his mouth when there are a lot of people around. With me, he’s more relaxed. In some way, I think Hugo asking questions in a way that isn’t quite PR acceptable is like my anxiety. The more people around, the more likely it is to act up. He’s more conscious of it now.

“You’re fine,” Winny says. “And we get what you’re saying.”

“It is cool that there are so many out players,” Max agrees. “Especially in a positive way.” The amused looks he gets only makes him grin. “Hey. I won All-Stars last season. That’s positive.”

“And you were voted in by the fans,” Elixon tacks on. “That’s even better.”

“Exactly. I have my shit in a row, or something. ”

Deryke shakes his head and Tavis sighs. “Not your mouth sometimes, but you definitely have your shit together now.”

“Sometimes people need to be told to fuck off,” Max says shrugging. “I’m tired of being talked down to or being insulted behind a smile and kind tone. If I’m going to be a fucking role model, I’m also going to be one that doesn’t let people treat him like shit. That’s what I want the world to take away from me.”

“Stand up for yourself,” Winslow agrees, nodding. “I think that’s a good thing to be known for.”

“Still, we need to work on how that comes out of your mouth,” Tavis says.

Max shrugs. “Fine. But my resolution is not going to be about cleaning up my language or whatever.”

“What’s it going to be?” Noah asks.

“I’m afraid to find out,” Deryke says.

“To make sure Ezzy has the best memories a one-year-old can possibly have,” Max says.

Everyone in the yard gives him a surprised but fond look. Deryke hugs him tightly.

“Wow, you’ve turned soft,” Noah teases, grinning.

“Who’s Ezzy?” I whisper to Hugo as everyone else teasingly ribs Max, who honestly looks giddily happy.

“Their baby,” Hugo answers.

“A real baby?”

He laughs. “Yes. I think Ezlo’s one or so. Maybe older. I can’t remember.”

“That’s really sweet.”

Hugo nods. “Yep.”

“What’s your resolution?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “I don’t make them. My goal is to always be better than I was the year before.” Because of course it is. “I suppose this year, my goal involves another person.”

“Oh?”

Hugo shifts to look at me, his fingers toy with the hair at the base of my head. “Yes. To make you happy. Every day.”

Is it too soon to tell him I love him? It’s too soon, right? I rest my forehead on his. He just… takes my breath away every time he opens his damn mouth.