Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

TORIN

I know I’m not in my room before I even open my eyes. The bed feels different, but it’s the lack of light and sounds that are really different from mine. There’s no quiet water movement and it’s a lot darker. Hugo has blackout curtains that he pulls at night, whereas mine are just flimsy pink ones. Honestly, the windows are so high that curtains to cover them are stupidly expensive.

While I don’t plan to move out of my apartment anytime soon, it seemed like a frivolous investment to spend so much on curtains I probably wouldn’t be able use again. The chances of my next place having enormous windows of the same size just doesn’t seem likely.

I don’t hate waking up like this—to the morning sun being blocked by dark curtains and the absence of the gently running water. For one, I don’t immediately have to pee when I regain consciousness. And two, I think I sleep later. Which is nice when I stay up so late.

Not that we stay up super late, but we’re definitely awake for a while when we get into bed. Hugo isn’t ready to sleep yet, no matter how late we get into bed. He likes to talk for a bit and sometimes, it ends in orgasms. I’m not complaining about either. I love them both.

Hugo yawns, his entire body coming alive with the movement. My eyes are closed and I concentrate on feeling the bed move. The way it dips and shifts until Hugo is pressed against me, his face in my neck. His arm wraps around my waist, his leg hooks over mine, and his big, fat, hard dick is against my hip. I try not to shiver at the feel of it.

“Morning,” he says in his gruff morning voice.

I grin. “Morning.”

“I’m glad for a day off.”

Me too, but I should probably go to the arena at some point today to get ready for tomorrow. I don’t like waiting until right before the game to get my shit in order. What if I need something? Not that it would matter. It’s not like I can place an order for instant delivery. Besides, I’m the mascot. Not the equipment manager. It’s definitely different.

Still, I like to be prepared. To make sure our audience is hyped and ready and spoiled with chances to win goodies. I think our franchise spends a lot on freebies—probably more than most—but we also pack the arena most game nights. I like to think that I have something to do with it.

“Can we stay in bed all day?” Hugo asks.

My grin couldn’t be wider. “Yes.”

He hums and cuddles closer. We’re quiet for a minute, both of us slowly waking up.

“Two more games before the three-day holiday break,” Hugo murmurs.

I smile, nodding. We have today off. Off completely—no training or practice or conditioning for the team. They play the Calgary Chickadees and then the Arizona Sand Riders over the next two days before we get three days off for Christmas. It’s not much, but it’s something. More than we got for Thanksgiving.

“Do you have plans for Christmas?” I ask.

Hugo shakes his head.

“Not going home?”

“Nah. I’d spend the majority of two entire days traveling from one coast to the other and spend maybe twenty-four hours with my family. It hardly seems worth it.”

“Are you close with your family?”

Hugo nods. As his hand skates down my side to my hip, the underside of his forearm brushes against the head of my happy cock. I try not to shudder.

“Yes. Relatively. I don’t see them much during the season since they all live in Maryland, but we talk somewhat regularly I guess. I get to video chat with my nieces and nephews often enough.”

“You told me about the two teenage pregnancies. Do your brother and sister have more kids?” The last two words come out in a whoosh as Hugo’s hand covers my dick. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to steady myself.

“Yes,” he says, amused. “My sister has three kids—the youngest is almost a year old. She’s on husband number two, but husband number one didn’t have any kids with her. Thankfully, that was a short marriage. He was a dick. So the one niece is from her high school hookup—a guy who is actually a really great dad. The other two kids are from her current husband.”

“You say that like she goes through them rapidly,” I muse.

“Nah. She had a legitimate reason for getting rid of the first. He was borderline abusive. I actually think he was abusive—not sure if to her or my niece, but I know he and my brother came to blows shortly before my sister and her husband separated. I was here, playing hockey, so I was not made aware of what exactly happened.”

I don’t get a chance to speak since his hand moves further down between my legs, cupping my balls. My leg shifts reflexively, giving him more room.

Hugo spends a lot of time touching me. Everywhere. Exploring my body and learning every single dip and scar and blemish. He’s usually pretty shy around my cock, but I think the conversation is helping.

Not that I’m easily following considering the stimulation to my already eager cock, but I’m trying. “What about your brother?”

He snorts. “He’s on wife number four and has six kids. I liked the second wife, who happens to be the first baby’s mama. But after that, I stopped trying to get to know them, since they don’t seem to be around for long. I’m pretty confident he and his current wife are already on the rocks. They’ve only been married a year or so.”

“It’s not a surprise you don’t hold much confidence in marriage.”

“What do you mean?” he asks .

“Your two older siblings—who are at max five years older—have been through a lot. Six marriages between the two of them.” I shake my head. “That’s not portraying a very healthy or happy environment as far as marriage and love is concerned.”

He’s quiet as he thinks about it. “My parents have been married for forty years.”

“Yes, but your siblings are your peers, unlike your parents. You run parallel with them, whereas your parents are kind of removed from you three.”

“Huh,” he says. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I was still in high school when my brother got divorced for the first time. It was… not pretty. It got even uglier with some of the things she was saying about him and then when we wouldn’t support her, her ugliness turned to me, my sister, and the two kids. He got divorced a second time right when my sister started having issues with her first husband. I’ll never forget how I heard her crying over the phone. I remember… she tried to assure me she was just upset. But I know my sister. I know what she sounds like when she’s afraid.”

I hug him tightly from this awkward angle and kiss his head.

Hugo sighs. “You’re definitely right. But I’d like to counter that Egon is happily married. So is Atty.”

“I know. But they’re recent relationships in your life. Your siblings have been there since your birth. Watching them go through the trials and tribulations they have has had a much bigger, lasting effect on you.”

“Yeah, I guess so. I think I make a lot of excuses about why I don’t go home, but in reality, I don’t want to see them for only twenty-four hours. That’s not enough time. It’ll be too hard to leave them. I love my siblings and my parents and my nieces and nephews a lot. Leaving after just a day, especially at Christmas, is just too hard.”

I kiss his forehead again.

“Do you have siblings? I don’t think we’ve ever talked about your family.”

“I have an older brother. He’s three years older.”

“Are you close?”

I huff. “No. Not for any reason that I can really tell you, but… we ’re just not, I guess. I think our parents tried to make us best friends when we were kids and it resulted in the opposite outcome.”

“How so?”

“They always dressed us alike and bought us the same things. The number of times I heard ‘share with your brother’ or ‘show your brother’ or something like ‘include your brother.’” I shake my head. “Honestly, I think we both resented each other by the time he was a teenager. He ended up rebelling hard core, especially when our parents tried to push us together once he entered high school, so by the time I started high school, the rift between us was already vast and my parents had stopped trying.”

“I’m not sure whether I should be sympathetic. You sound indifferent.”

“I am, mostly. We talk on occasion. Each other’s birthdays. Maybe something random here and there. We see each other during holidays and… rarely talk. Sometimes, I think we can be in the same place and rarely even acknowledge each other.”

“That’s sad.”

“Meh. I prefer this than to have him forced into every aspect of my life.”

“Are you close with your parents?”

I shrug. “Not in a… I’m not sure how to say it. Not in a voluntary way, I guess. Obligatory, really. We talk often, but that’s because I feel like I have to call them a lot or they get all hurt and whatever.”

“Huh. Does your brother have kids? Married? What does he do?”

Laughing, I shake my head. “No kids to my knowledge. And I don’t think he has a girlfriend right now but again, I haven’t talked to him in months. I’m not sure we exchanged more than two words during Thanksgiving.”

“Yep, still think that’s sad.”

We’re quiet for a minute. In the silence, I’m far more aware of the way he’s rubbing my dick. Stroking and squeezing. Tracing the shape, the length, the veins. Weighing my balls in his hands. Pressing the tip of his finger to my slit.

“I told my parents about you,” Hugo says after a minute .

My head is swimming with arousal now, so it takes me a minute to process what he said. “Oh?”

Hugo nods. “Yeah. Mom was a little… quiet but Dad was excited.”

My heart races. “She’s not happy that you have a boyfriend?”

He laughs quietly, turning his face into my chest. “Mom takes some time to get used to change. She doesn’t easily go with the flow. By the next time we talk—on Christmas—she’ll be happy.”

“You sound so sure.”

“I am. I know my mom. I’ve never said anything about anyone to her and suddenly, I have a boy friend. I imagine it’s a little jarring.”

I sigh. “I hope one day there won’t be reactions like that. It shouldn’t matter.”

Hugo nods. “Yep. I think there’s always going to be ugliness in the world, though. And we’re very prone to outside influences, whether we realize it or not. I hope it does change, but I won’t be surprised if it doesn’t.”

“I think you went with the change relatively smoothly.”

“Yeah, but I think I’m just indifferent to who a person loves. And maybe I was predisposed to what a change looks like because of Atty. I saw it unfold in front of me. And when he was ready, he let me ask a lot of questions. Probably, because of Atty, I had a better idea of what love means and what it should look like and how it shouldn’t matter what’s in the pants of the person you love.”

“I take it back. I think you’re just as good about learning from new relationships as you are those you’ve been around your entire life.”

Hugo shifts onto his elbow to look down at me with a big smile. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen what love looks like my entire life. A part of me knew my brother never loved any of his wives and that my sister loves too… trustingly. My parents love each other unwaveringly. I see Egon’s love and Rake’s love and while they love each other, their loves are very different. Just as deep, but different. The same can be said for all my friends. And yet, it always felt abstract and… unobtainable to me. I was disinterested at best. Not disbelieving that it existed but just… disinterested.”

“You’re talking in past tense. Does that mean it changed?”

Hugo’s hand cups my groin in such a way that my eyelids flutter and I groan, my body arching slightly at his touch. “Everything about you has sparked a change in me, Torin,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to mine. “I’m excited to spend my life with you.”

My heart nearly bursts from my chest. Even though he’s rubbing me with purpose now, I force my eyes open so I can look into his.

“I’m excited for everything between us. Nothing feels blasé, or like I just don’t care. It didn’t just happen overnight, but I can actually feel it building a little more every day. It’s such a surreal experience. You’re not changing things about me, but making me understand myself in a different way. Everything I didn’t think could shift, is moving and… I feel like I’m an earthquake. I’m not even sure what I’m saying.”

I laugh breathlessly.

“But I don’t mean this to sound like maybe you fixed something inside me. You didn’t make a change. You just touched something and brought that dormant piece of me to life. It is me. It feels natural. Not sudden but… a slow progression, you know? Does that make sense?”

Gripping his hair, I bring his mouth to mine and kiss him fiercely. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Hugo.”

“I think I’m trying to explain it to myself as much as I am you.”

“I really think you need to look up demisexual and demiromantic. Not because I think you need a label, but I think it’ll help you put into words what you’re trying to say. You’re avoiding words like ‘fix’ and ‘change’ because you know there’s nothing wrong with you—you’re not broken so there’s nothing to fix—and I’m not a cause for sudden change. All those words are triggers for a lot of people on the ace and aro spectrums because it’s a common nasty label society uses for those who feel differently about sex or romantic relationships than what the world calls ‘normal’ and ‘healthy.’”

“Winny is aro and ace. I’ve asked him a lot of questions over the years and I don’t feel the same way as he’s ever described.”

“Everything is a spectrum. Even those the world deem to have ‘healthy’ sex drives and ‘normal’ relationships. How one person feels about sex is never going to be the exact same as how another person feels. As you’ve been noting, not everyone experiences or expresses love in the same way, either. Everything is a spectrum, even when the world doesn’t want to see it that way. Winslow is at a different point on the aro and ace spectrums than you are. That’s all.”

Hugo stares into my eyes for a long time. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a very, very long time, Torin. Maybe ever.”

I smile. I wish he knew how he just made my heart squeeze so violently that I think it might stop. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Someday, I’ll be able to tell him that.