Chapter 37

December 1942

The next couple of months dragged for Helen. So far no one had come to inspect the house, but each of them was on constant alert, especially when Captain Engel made one of his impromptu visits. Helen hoped that the Jerries' attention had been diverted from her disappearance, what with everything else that had happened. Whatever the reason she was relieved to have been left in relative peace with Bobby.

But Peggy had seemed troubled recently. Helen had tried to broach the subject with her friend but Peggy had brushed off her concerns, insisting there was nothing wrong.

She decided to ask Babs if she knew anything. Babs agreed. ‘I've noticed how distracted Peggy's seemed for weeks now, but she insists she's fine, just tired from long hours at work.'

‘Do you believe that's all it is?'

Babs had shrugged. ‘No, but I know my big sister well enough to know when to drop the subject.'

Helen assumed it probably had something to do with the German officer who kept coming to the house under different pretexts, but he had never asked to come in, as far as she was aware, and Peggy always spoke to him on the doorstep.

Helen felt a little better discovering that Peggy had given the same amount of information to her as she had to Babs. She had suspected for weeks that the Hamel women were trying their best to keep any bad news from her and, although she appreciated their efforts, she would rather they treated her as they did each other.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Bobby dropped his wooden train on his toe. She saw his face crumple in pain, and, scared he might be about to scream, Helen dashed over to him and took him in her arms, hugging him to her to muffle his cries.

When he calmed down, she gently lifted his foot and, slipping off his sock, inspected his big toe. It was red and would probably have a bruise by the following day. Her heart ached for him and that he was spending most of each day cooped up in an attic with only her for company. She gently blew on his toe to soothe it, unintentionally making him laugh. Delighted to have amused him, she did it again. Their game lasted for several minutes and by the time he grew bored and returned to playing with his train, Helen felt a lot better.

They might be cooped up in here, but they were together and relatively comfortable.

That evening, soon after Bobby had fallen asleep, the attic door opened and Babs appeared. She scanned the room, then, seeing him sleeping, smiled and rested her hand over her heart. ‘He is angelic,' she whispered. ‘I hope if I have children one of them is just like Bobby.'

Helen didn't like to point out that with Babs's naturally pale blonde hair rather than her own auburn and Richard's almost black, that wasn't very likely. ‘I'm sure you will.' She noticed a glint of excitement in her friend. ‘Has something happened today?'

Babs grinned. ‘It has. Mum said to come down if you can. She received a Red Cross telegram with news from her cousin.'

Helen thought of the one she had sent to Richard so many months before, telling him about Bobby and letting him know she was happy for him to respond. She pushed the thought aside, not wanting to think about why he had chosen not to reply.

‘I'll be down in a couple of minutes,' Helen said, needing a little time to calm her emotions before joining them.

‘Don't be too long or Mum will think you don't want any supper.'

Supper. Helen hated that the Hamels had to share their meagre rations with her and Bobby, but not wanting to keep them waiting, she pulled her son's covers up so that he wouldn't be cold now the temperature had dropped, and went downstairs.

‘There she is,' Ida said, holding up her telegram. ‘Look what came today. It's from my cousin in Wimbledon.' She beamed at Helen.

‘Is it the first time you've heard from her?' Helen asked, feeling Ida's excitement.

Ida reread her cousin's words. ‘It is, and it's such a surprise, and a huge relief. I'd heard on the radio that Wimbledon has been bombed quite a bit, like so many other places. I've been concerned about her and her family.'

‘How wonderful that she's put your mind at rest.'

‘Yes,' Peggy said. ‘Although they've moved to a new place, so they might have had bomb damage at some point.'

Ida nodded. ‘Mavis and her husband Bill had lived in their previous home their entire married life. They would never leave there unless they had little choice.'

Helen noticed the growing concern on Ida's face and tried to reassure her. ‘But now you know they're all safe and well.'

‘I do.' Ida poured them all a weak tea. ‘Maybe you'll receive a telegram from your family at some point, Helen.'

Helen noticed Peggy and Babs glance at each other.

‘Mum, I can't see how that will happen,' Peggy said quietly.

‘Why ever not?

Helen didn't like to think of Ida being embarrassed when she hadn't meant anything by her question. ‘I think Peggy is referring to me being here now,' she said, smiling to ensure her words were taken at face value. ‘No one would know where to deliver it.'

Ida gasped. ‘Oh, lovey. That was insensitive of me. Here's me showing off about my news while you haven't heard from your family. Really, I could kick myself.'

Helen shook her head. ‘Please, don't worry. It's fine.' She sighed. ‘I'd like to hear from them, but my mother never made any effort to contact me before the invasion and I have no reason to expect she'll try now.'

‘But what about––?' Babs stopped. ‘Sorry. None of my business.'

Helen saw her cheeks redden and supposed Babs was referring to Bobby's father. ‘I did telegram Richard before Aunt Sylvia died, but never received a response.'

‘These things take months to reach the addressee,' Ida said, looking embarrassed. ‘Then another few months for their reply to come back, so maybe it's been delayed.'

‘Thank you, but now I think about it, even if he did reply he would have sent it to the wrong address.' She stared miserably at her short fingernails and the dry skin on the back of her hands. Realising no one was speaking, she looked up at her friends, who were all staring at her miserably. ‘Please, don't feel badly for me. I have a lot to be grateful for, thanks to you three taking me and Bobby into your home.' When they still didn't speak, she added, ‘Tell me more about your cousin. It'll be good to hear about England again. I do miss it rather a lot.'

Later, when she was lying on the mattress she shared with Bobby, Helen's thoughts returned to Richard. Had he replied to her? And if so, what might he have said?