14. Thea

Three weeks.

That's how long I've been playing with fire. By that, I mean that I've been spending more and more time with Dom. We average getting together at least one day on our own and he's begun coming over to Mattie's for poker night. I thought I had killed any attraction I felt for him long ago, but I feel it between us. I should start pushing him away, but I haven't been strong enough. There are times I even convince myself it's all in my head. After all, Dom hasn't chastised me for flirting with him. Raze hasn't batted an eye either. He would for sure if it appeared Dom and I were getting too close, right? I mean, we are kind of dating. Well, maybe. We haven't been spending a lot of time together lately and Raze hasn't been sleeping over but here and there. Then again, I've not invited him either. We still kiss and have the occasional make out session, but something feels different. I don't think it's entirely on my side either.

The two of us are on our way to meet up with some of the club members. Raze said there will be a few girls there, too. I'm nervous about it, but he asked, so I couldn't say no. Well, I could, but I do like Raze. I need to see if this is going to work, and if not, then I need to make it clear that we'll remain friends. I don't want there to be hard feelings on either side—especially since my dad and Mattie have been watching us closely. Plus, I'm going to be doing the books for the club. I've already started some. Aunt Nicole has been slowly breaking me in. I'm really enjoying it. I like sharing Mattie's house, but I am kicking around the idea of getting my own place. Besides working on the club's books, I've got a few clients coming to me. They're mostly businesses in town, and I know the owners really well. Fortunately, things seem to be going smoothly so far. I'm making more than enough money to cover my monthly rent. I know Mattie says he wants me to stay with him, but I also know I'm probably cramping his style. If I wasn't there, he'd probably have women there. I'm not stupid. Sure, he has his room at the club, but Mattie is a private person. It's one reason he has his house.

"Here we are. You ready, Flame?" Raze asks, and I smile at him. I'm actually shocked we're here already. I really must have been zoned out. "I'm ready. I'm looking forward to spending a night with you. We haven't really connected in a while. I miss you."

That wasn't a lie. The two of us were getting pretty close and then it kind of cooled off. I need to know if there's still that same spark between us.

"I've missed you, too, Flame. Let's go have some fun."

"Okay," I answer as I lean in and kiss him on the lips.

He kisses me back. It's nice. It feels good, but the desire that used to fire between us feels a little flat. Is it all in my head? We break apart and I get out of his vehicle, and he comes around taking my hand. There's a bunch of bikes in the parking lot. I recognize one as Mattie's and another as Dom's.

"We could have brought your bike, you know," I tell Raze.

"I like having you in my truck," he says with a smile. I wonder if he's afraid of hurting my leg. For some reason, after our first couple of dates, I never rode on his bike. I sigh. I'm being silly. When we walk into the Wolf's Den, I can't help but be a little tense. This is a club owned place. It is probably one of our oldest owned businesses. I never hung around here much. Trying to enter a bar where my father had an ownership stake and his brothers were regulars was clearly not a smart move.

"Flame!" Rebel and a few others call out. Raze puts his arm around me and pulls me in close so that his lips are next to my ear.

"My girl is more popular in my club than me," he hums.

"Yeah, right," I chuckle. I turn so I can look at him. "Hey, we're okay, right?" I ask suddenly, wondering about the look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Flame. I'm just dealing with some shit. I'll tell you about it soon. Let's just relax and have some fun tonight. Deal?"

"Would you rather I go back to Mattie's, and you chill out with your family?" I ask him. I don't understand what's going on, but I know enough to know Raze is going through something, and for whatever reason, I'm not the person he's wanting to lean on through it.

"Don't be silly. I want to be here with you, Flame. If I didn't, I'd tell you," he answers, and before I can say anything else, he bends down and presses his lips to mine. His tongue slides into my mouth and he kisses me deeply. It's passionate and I moan in response as he plunders my mouth. My hands go up to wrap around his neck as he brings my body into him. I'm not someone who likes to get hot and heavy in front of others, but I fight against the instinct to pull away from him. In the background, I hear the catcalls and hoots from the crew behind us. In the back of my mind, however, this kiss feels forced. When I pull back, I'm smiling at Raze, but I can admit it feels strained. I also see the confusion on his face. I get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it's not a good one. Something is going on, and there's a saying about seeing the writing on the wall, and this feels like we're on a sinking ship. It hurts, but at the same time, I have this feeling I should be more upset at the prospect, and … I'm not.

Crap.Maybe I'm the problem, not Raze.

He hangs his arm over my shoulders, bringing me in close as we walk toward the others. We talk to the crew that is there. I have no idea what they're talking with Raze about. I'm kind of zoned out and just keep my smile pasted on my face. There are six members here. Mattie, Dom, Rebel, Raze, Joker and Monk. Of the six, Monk has been with the crew longest. He and my dad knew each other for years and he joined when I was, like, twelve. He's become another uncle, and I love him and his old lady, Patsy.

"Thea! They told me you were back, but I haven't seen you," Monk rumbles—and I do mean rumbling. Monk stands close to seven foot tall. He's got a body like a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys, and long dirty-brown hair and deep green eyes. He's littered in scars and tats and although he's intimidating to look at, he's just a giant old teddy bear.

"That's because you and Patsy have been living it up in Cozumel."

"Yeah. Not sure why the fuck my woman wanted to be locked up in the middle of an ocean on a tin can that could sink at any time. It sure wasn't my pick, but what the fuck, I got to see her in a bikini for three weeks so I sure as hell wasn't going to say no."

"You bitch and complain one more time and I swear to God, Monk, I will move to my mother's. She might be on the backside of her seventies and smell like Ben Gay—not to mention bitches constantly about the state of the world—but I'd do it," Patsy snaps.

I grin. Patsy is a pistol. She's got big boobs—fake, but spectacular—long blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. She has legs and curves. I envy her. I know for a fact that her man thinks the sun rises and sets in her, too. They're both in their early fifties but could pass for forty. I hope like hell that I age that well.

"You could try it. I'd just follow you," Monk warns. He'd do it, too. He used to be the man that stuck his dick in anyone and anywhere. That's how he got the name Monk, because he was anything but a monk. He was a definite man whore. That was until Patsy and he met at a club function. She was the ex of a rival club member—the Feral Kings. Monk saw the bastard beating her up and took him down. He didn't kill him, but he made it clear if he ever came near Patsy again, he would. Dad and Uncle Dragon thought maybe we'd have a war on our hands, but we heard nothing from them.

"My momma wouldn't let you in the door," she huffs.

"I'd sleep out on her porch swing till you agreed to come home with me," he says with a huge grin.

She rolls her eyes. "Thea, you are gorgeous!"

I laugh out loud at that. "Yeah, right. How have you been, Patsy?'

"Stop being modest. You know you're a badass bitch. It's time you owned it, and you know me, I'm always good. If I'm not, then the whole world knows it."

I giggle because that's absolutely the truth. "You're Raze's old lady? Cause I know there's no way in hell you're just candy on the side."

I look over at Raze. He's talking to Joker and Rebel. Involuntarily, my gaze travels over to Mattie and Dom. Oddly enough, they're both staring at me. Neither one of them looks happy. Men are way too confusing. "I'm not his old lady. We've been going out here and there. I thought it might be something good, but it has cooled down." I shrug. "Who knows?"

"That kiss seemed to say anything but you two were cooling down," she points out.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not exactly sure where that came from. I'll have to talk to him about it later."

"Well, whatever. I'm just glad you're back. I didn't like you being in New York."

"I'll let you in on a secret," I murmur, as if I'm about to reveal a big secret. "I didn't like it either."

"Well, duh. Your letters to me screamed you were homesick."

"I tried to hide that," I mutter.

"You failed," she laughs at me, making me roll my eyes. "Also, why is Ice eye-fucking you more than Raze is? What is happening here?" she whispers close to my ear.

"Who?" I ask, completely clueless.

"Ice," she says again. "The man wants to eat you alive."

"Patsy—"

"I mean it. He totally looks like you're dessert, and he needs to satisfy all his cravings on you."

"Um… I have no idea who that is. Is he a member of the club? I haven't met all the new guys yet, I guess. I know there are some other prospects?—"

"Dom, honey. His club name is Ice. Of course, none of our ranked members call him that. He's always been called Dom since he was a kid and they never changed. The same when it came to T. Still, prospects, us old ladies, and a few of the member's steady girls, do—twinkies included.

"Oh," I answer, my gaze moving over to my brother and Dom. I admit they're both staring at me, but in no way would I say Dom was eye-fucking me. Obviously, the bleach in Patsy's blonde hair has caused issues. "You're crazy. Dom and I are friends now. Trust me, there's nothing else to it." I laugh, giving Mattie and Dom a smile. "I am going to go over and say hi to them, though."

"I think you're the crazy one. Does this mean that you and Ice are getting along these days?"

"Yeah, it's weird. He's actually become a good friend."

"Damn, maybe Monk is right, and I've spent too much time on vacation."

I laugh to the point that I almost snort. "I'll be back," I tell her. Then I walk over to my brother and give him a hug. Dom has moved over to talk to Joker and I'm kind of relieved. Patsy's comment about Dom eye-fucking me has me wondering about things that I really shouldn't. Like if he really does want to eat me alive. Just the thought makes a tiny shiver move through my spine and it has nothing to do with fear—more like excitement.

Damn it.

"What was that kiss all about," Mattie grumps.

I huff at him, shaking my head. "That's what people do when they are dating."

"I was thinking things were cooling off between the two of you."

"Why would you think that?" I ask, ignoring the fact that I've felt the same.

"C'mon, Thea. You've been out with Dom more than you've seen Raze lately.

"Yeah, but Dom and I are just friends. You have no idea what Raze and I are. You're just being a busybody. You're worse than Mom."

"Thea," he mutters, and I sigh.

"Okay, fine. I don't know what's going on with Raze. I like him, but things have kind of cooled, or at least I thought. He's been acting strange."

"Maybe he doesn't like you going out with Dom."

"That's crazy. Dom and I are just friends—family, really. He sees me as his little sister."

"I'm not so sure about that. Maybe a better question is, how do you feel about Dom?"

"I don't hate him anymore," I respond with a smirk. Mattie just frowns at me in true big brother fashion.

"Thea—"

"I promise, I'm not hung up on him anymore. I'm enjoying being his friend. That's all, Dom has only ever seen me as family—and finally that's what we are."

"What? Who is?" Dom asks, coming up to us from my right. "I was telling my nosy brother that he doesn't need to worry about the two of us spending time together."

"Why would he worry?" Dom almost growls, shocking me.

I put my hand on his arm in reflex. "He's just being an overprotective big brother. It's normal."

"Didn't see him warning Raze off."

"Dom—"

"He didn't have the power to hurt my baby sister," Mattie barks back, and now I've had my fill.

I slap the palm of my hand against the brick-house-built stomach of my older brother. "Shut it. Dom is your best friend, and you know that. I was young and stupid. Dom never led me on. Besides, we're different people now. We're older and without my silly crush, we're learning to be the family we always should have been. So, lay off. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you," Mattie says, and the look on his face makes me feel like he's disappointed in me. Maybe it's because I've berated him, but the others are at the tables that the bar's staff put together. They're laughing and being loud. There's no way that they're paying attention. He will just have to suck it up.

"Now that we have everything settled. Why don't we go join the others?"

"Fine." The anger in Dom's voice bothers me, but I don't say anything. I know Mattie insulted him and it's my fault. My brother is the only one I let freely see my pain over Dom's rejection and my hopelessly one-sided crush. Mom knew, of course. Mom had that superpower that most moms have. She could tell what was wrong just by looking at me—especially when I didn't want her to know. I'll have to talk to Mattie more about everything when we're alone later. Right here is not the place. I'm embarrassed enough.

They start walking toward the table. I begin to follow but stop when I notice Raze isn't there. He's probably at the bar ordering another beer, or maybe in the bathroom. Since he's not here yet, I want to escape and try to calm my anger at Mattie.

"I'll be back in a second," I tell Dom and Mattie when they turn to look at me.

"Where are you going?"

I look at Dom and sigh. "I just need some fresh air. I'll be back in a second."

"I'm coming with you," Dom says stubbornly.

"What? No. There's no point. I just need?—"

"Babe, the bar is crowded tonight. You need a man at your back. Raze is takin' a piss, so you get me."

"Dom, I'm a grown woman. I can go to the little girl's room without a chaperone," I huff.

"Thea, sweetheart, don't argue that you're a grown woman if you're going to call the john the little girl's room. Now, c'mon."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're annoying?" I complain.

"Once or twice," he replies, not missing a beat.

I let him go with me, mostly because he has his hand on the small of my back and isn't giving me much of a choice. I do my best to ignore the searing sensation of his touch on my back.

I'm not sure I succeed.