5. Bridget

FIVE

Bridget

Getting up early has been a part of my life since going on the run. Sleep doesn't come easy, and despite being home, I feel no safer and thus find myself up at the crack of dawn.

It's no use trying to fall back asleep, so I get up and find Mom in the kitchen, a boiling kettle of water being pulled off the stove for tea.

"Well, hi, honey. You're up early." She glances over at the clock, which reads six-thirty, and sits down at the table to pour the hot water into her cup. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No." I shake my head. "Probably just wired from being back."

She nods with a smile, and I notice the nightgown and house coat she has on. It's a silly old-fashioned thing, but it's so comforting to see her wearing it like she always does.

I also don't know how she does it. It's a million degrees in here. I have on a pair of boxers and a tank top, and I'm roasting.

"Well, if you're feeling up for it, can I task you with some errands?"

Her hands tremble as she deals with the kettle, and I quickly take it from her, returning it to the stove.

"Of course. What's up?"

"I need you to go into town and pick up my medication. It's ready at the pharmacy, and I should have a blouse ready at the dry cleaners."

I remember the old local shops set up on the main street in the center of town. I'm sure the place could have upgraded to a CVS or something, but I'm weirdly glad they didn't.

"Sure thing, Mom. Is it all right if I bring them back after my time with Mason? I'm meeting Mia today."

She perks up again, and I have to roll my eyes. I know exactly what she's thinking, and no, I do not have time for romance.

"Oh, sure, honey. You can take my car. All it does is sit there. May need some gas, though."

The words shouldn't sting, but they're a reminder of my mom's condition. I don't let that show, however. I just offer her a smile and say thank you.

In no time, I'm picking up my mom's prescription as the last chore on the little to-do list. Her blouse is already in the car, which is freshly gassed up, and if I leave here in the next thirty minutes, I'll be able to get to Mason's on time.

I would have moved quicker if I hadn't kept parking at the back of the lots and taking the long way around the buildings.

But I can feel Jai's eyes on me, sure that he's somewhere in the small crowds I pass by in town. I constantly scan their faces, confident that I'll find him there, and check behind me in nervous sideways glances when anyone is walking behind me.

God, you're so fucking paranoid.

I know it's true, but I also know I have every right to be. It wouldn't be the first time Jai has found me and I needed to run.

Just six months after leaving him, Jai found me in a city four hours away from LA in Nevada. I had been sure he wouldn't track me down, and yet, I ended up fleeing in the middle of the night when he broke into the motel I was staying in.

"Next."

Stepping up to the counter, I pick up Mom's medication, the clerk calling her to be sure it's okay. And then I'm on my way to Mason's.

My heart pounds, screaming in my ears, and I drive to the other side of town and past the main thoroughfare to the rolling fields surrounding Red Lodge.

I got Mason's number from Hudson and texted him for the address. He's right at the end of the town limits, parked right against the national forest and its incredible views.

Trying to calm my nerves with several deep breaths, I manage to get all the way up to the front door, raising my hand to knock before I freeze unable to follow through.

It's not like that, Bridget. There's nothing going on. You're just helping with his kid.

Chest pinching over the thought of Mason even having a kid, I shake myself and knock firmly on the door.

I don't wait long. Mason is at the door just a few moments later, and I notice immediately that he's shucked the jeans and a tee for a suit and tie.

Shit .

It hits me how handsome he is, and I have to swallow down the sudden lump in my throat. Mason has always been attractive, and if anything, the years have only done him better.

Aging like a fine wine.

It's such a stupid thought, and I have to close my mouth since my jaw straight up dropped when I saw him.

I'm about to say something—or maybe just continue to gawk at him—when a little girl runs up behind him and crashes into his leg.

Mia is the spitting image of her dad, with dark hair and warm-toned skin. Her curls bounce as she hops up and down, and I notice her beautiful green eyes, knowing immediately that she must have got them from her mom.

"Hi there," I offer quietly, and Mia suddenly realizes I'm there.

She stares up at me with wide eyes before cowering back behind Mason's leg. It's clear she's a ball of energy but also shy.

Mason scoops her up into his arms, Mia clinging to him tightly.

"It's okay, hun. This is Bridget, my friend."

Mia looks over at me, and seeing the two of them together has me basically melting into the floor. It's a moment before Mia manages to muster up a "Hi," and then Mason welcomes me inside.

Mason's house is lovely, big and elegantly rustic and full of children's toys tucked into numerous baskets and cloth bins.

It's a bit like a cabin, which is fitting against the backdrop of trees, and I scan my eyes over the living room as Mason brings me in while he carries Mia.

There's a massive rough-cut stone fireplace on one wall, the brick-like pieces stretching all the way up to the eighteen-foot ceiling. The far wall is all gorgeous windows that showcase that incredible view.

On the other side, I can see the open connection that leads to a cozy yet very decked-out kitchen.

The warm woods and colors of the stone make the house feel cozy without sacrificing any of that spacious feel, and there are oversized leather couches and a matching chair parked in front of the fireplace.

The TV is mounted into the stone just above it, and cartoons are playing as we walk by. It's something I've never seen before, but a show that admittedly looks very appealing for an almost three-year-old.

Mason continues forward into the kitchen area, which I can tell is the heart of the home. My throat tightens as we pass photos on the wall, clearly depicting a woman Mason is in a relationship with.

Stairs to the second floor appear around the corner when we step into the kitchen. I can see that the landing at the top has been made into a balcony that overlooks the first floor.

"All right, baby. I'm going to set you down."

Mason plops Mia in one of the chairs at the island, sliding over a sippy cup of what I assume is milk or juice.

Mia drinks happily, and Mason sighs out a long breath and smiles tiredly at me.

"Okay, great. So, now that you're here, I'll go over what to expect with Mia. She's not too much of a handful, and she's been going to daycare, so she's pretty good about listening."

"Oh," I raise my brows, nodding, "she's in daycare then. So, why did you need?—"

"A nanny?" Mason offers. "Well, I'm not always available to pick Mia up when they close. Their hours only go to three, and it's hard to get off before five-thirty."

"That's fair. Okay, well, did you still want me taking her there?"

"Yes. Three days a week, in any case. I'd like Mia to have some home time with me on the other days, which I'll try to be done earlier on."

"Okay. I can do that." My head hums with the question I've been biting back, but it hits too strong now, and I can't resist. "So, it's just you and Mia then? No one else around to help?"

Regret hits me the moment Mason's face drops. I've clearly struck a nerve by asking, and I mean, of course I did.

Jeez. I so should have just left that untouched.

"Mia's mother, my late wife, passed away during childbirth. It's just been me and Mia ever since."

My eyes flare wide. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Mason. I didn't mean to bring up…really, I'm sorry."

He nods gently, his expression softening a bit as he looks at Mia happily drinking from her cup and watching the TV.

"Yeah." Mason sighs. "But I have Mia, and she's the best thing there is."

My heart melts and cracks all at once. It's so awful to lose someone like that, but I can see just how much Mason loves his daughter, and despite everything, that's charming as hell.

"I promise to treat her like the princess she is." I smile as Mason looks over, and he offers a nod again, clearing his throat and getting back to the business of describing Mia's daily routine.

He goes over when she eats, what types of things she'll eat, her nap and bedtimes, and her favorite and least favorite things. It's all laid out so thoroughly that I feel like I know her much better than the few minutes of interaction imply.

"Okay, sounds good. And I see the list on the fridge that you left with everything. So, I think we're good to go. If you need to head to work…"

I let the implication hang, and Mason nods. "I do, yeah."

"You know, I never asked. What is it that you do for work now?"

He smiles, a bit more at ease, before scooping Mia out of the chair and walking her over to the living room. As we let her chill there, he walks toward the front door again.

"I own a real estate company. Several of the lodges in town were going to be shut down because no one was looking after them, so I bought them. It was a huge risk, but it paid off."

"Wow, that's incredible, Mason. And you volunteer as a firefighter? I'm thoroughly impressed."

Mason delivers a chuckle that is way too sexy for his own good, and I do my best not to visibly swoon.

Come on, Bridget. Pull yourself together.

"Well, thanks, but I should get going. You can call anytime if you need help or have a question. Really."

Offering him a smile as I pat his shoulder, I open the door for Mason to leave. "It'll be fine. I've worked with a bunch of kids before. Mia is in good hands."

While Mason nods at me, I can see the tension he's holding on to. After a moment, though, he sucks in a breath and heads off to work.

It's just Mia and me now, and I walk over to where she's sitting on the couch and join her on the next cushion over, being sure to give her space.

Babysitting and working a the local day care center were my go-to jobs throughout all of high school and even some of college.

Until I met Jai.

Me having a job was a big no-no to him, and I was so stupid and na?ve when we first started dating that I just went along with it.

I never finished college because of Jai's shit, and it's been one of my biggest regrets. At least if I had, I wouldn't be so screwed regarding the types of jobs I can get.

I would have my degree, and that means something.

Right now, I'm just a failed singer who dropped out of college at the end of my sophomore year.

Spending this time with Mia, even if she is a bit shy, is like going back to my roots, and I'm actually enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would.

After a moment, Mia looks over at me and frowns, her eyes going to the door for a moment.

"Dada?"

I smile down at her, keeping my voice gentle. "He had to go to work, sweetie. But I'm his friend. I thought I'd play with you today."

Mia gets upset, her little face turning red as she starts to cry.

"Oh, honey. It's okay. He'll be back for dinner." She still whines, looking up at me and pointing at the door. "I know. But hey, your daddy said you like to read. Do you want to read a book?"

The tears pause for a moment, and Mia perks up a bit. "Books?"

"Yeah." I smile and nod. "Do you want to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar ?"

Mason mentioned that it's one of her favorites, and I know that a familiar item or game can help ease a kiddo's anxiety.

"Cater, cater!"

She slides off the couch and runs toward the stairs, beginning to slowly climb them by herself. I have to imagine she's going for the book, so I quickly follow her and help her get up to her room.

We get into her room, and Mia goes straight for the bookshelf at the back, grabbing the book. I turn on the light, and Mia plops right down on the floor in front of her crib with the book and opens it up, pointing.

I come over, sitting next to her on the floor, and begin to read the story. She points at all the pictures as I do, giggling at the silly parts.

The next several minutes are spent reading the book over and over until she goes and gets another one. This one is called Blue Hat, Green Hat , and we repeat the process all over again.

After a few more books like that, Mia feels comfortable enough to show me her toys, making the animal sounds for each one.

We run back and forth through the halls pretending to be bears, and even though it's only been about an hour, I adore this kid and am ready to do pretty much anything for her.

Still, I can't help myself from wondering what it might have been like if I'd made the right decision all those years ago.

Would Mason and I have a daughter like this? What would she look like? Or a son, for that matter?

I haven't thought about having kids much. Jai never wanted them, and that was that.

Looking at Mia playing, my heart pinches with all the what-ifs, and it's just like I worried it would be.

Regret and guilt and jealousy swirl together as I wish in vain that my life could have been different.

I didn't get to be a mother when I may have been ready for it with Jai. I'm glad I never had a child with him, but I can't help but feel like I've lost my chance.

And that sucks.

Still, Mia is beyond sweet, and if this is how I can soak up some of that kid love, I'll take it.