14. Bridget

FOURTEEN

Bridget

I realize that I'm not the one going to the doctor, and I'm still panicking. My mother doesn't seem too fazed, but I know that she's a pro at compartmentalizing.

She's been doing it since we lost Dad, and here I am, wondering if I'm going to lose her too.

I can't do that. I won't make it—not with everything else going on in my life.

"Beverly Monroe?" A nurse calls out, and we head to the door.

Mom follows along behind the nurse, apparently familiar with the route, and I feel like I'm just tagging along.

We're shown into a small room with a number on the door, and my mother sits down on the examination table, which she needs my help to climb.

I sit across from her in a little chair that is less than comfortable, fiddling with her purse strap as I hold it for her.

It takes everything to keep the calm smile on my face, and I'm sure it's not convincing. After a few moments, the doctor walks in, and I'm actually surprised we didn't have to wait long.

The benefits of being a chronic illness patient.

"Hi, Bev. How are you feeling? Do you think the new medications are helping?"

Mom brightens up, grinning over at the younger doctor who greets her like an old friend.

"Hi, Dr. Anderson. Yes, I think they are. Plus," she looks over at me, "I have help remembering when to take them all now. This is my daughter, Bridget. She's been getting me all set up with a pill case and a schedule. I swear, it's like living with my mother again."

The doctor chuckles lightly, her voice relaxed and low. "Nice to meet you, Bridget."

As she walks over to my mom, she does the classic checks, heart rate, breathing, etc., and it's easy to see how this woman got into medical school.

Her movements are methodical and thorough, and she is personable. Still, I can sense the impressive focus she has for her work.

"So, doctor," I start, trying not to stick my nose in even though this is my mother, and I'm more than "allowed" to know how she's doing, "how are things looking?"

The young woman looks over at me with a smile as she goes to sit down on the tiny stool in front of the computer that's tucked into the corner.

"She's doing excellent. I believe the new medications are helping with the high blood pressure and occlusions, and her vitals look good. Let's check the test results. They just came in yesterday."

My mother had gone into a special lab a few days ago to have her blood levels checked, and we've both been eagerly awaiting the results.

Dr. Anderson runs her eyes over the screen, reading things aloud that make no sense to me. My mother seems a bit more in the know.

Still, I can tell that she's not quite knowledgeable enough to relax her posture. She's still perched on the edge of the table, her spine rigid.

"These look much better." Dr. Anderson turns away from the computer and looks at my mom. "I'm still going to keep you on the medications, and I'm not a huge fan of some of these numbers, so I'm going to start a new prescription today to see if we can really kick those down."

"Okay, but I'm responding to the medications?"

The doctor nods. "You are. We caught the heart problems early, which is good. Hopefully, we'll be able to take care of all this with medications and avoid surgery."

My mom sags with relief, sighing. "Oh, that would be great. I don't like the idea of being cut open."

Dr. Anderson laughs as I look over at my mother and scold her. "Mother!"

"Oh, it's all right. I've heard it before. And you know, not many people are thrilled about surgery. If we keep going on this trajectory, we can avoid it. So keep up with the rest, diet, and medications, and we'll keep checking in on you. Sound good?"

"I think I can handle that, Dr. Anderson."

Shaking my head, I relax a bit as my mother stands up from the table and manages to get herself down.

"See you in two weeks?"

The doctor nods. "Yup. Let's stick to that schedule."

I step up, looking between them. "Do we need to schedule it with the front desk?"

"Umm, you can check, but I think I have you on an auto-schedule."

Taking Mom by the arm, I follow the doctor toward the door. "We'll check."

"And then brunch. I want to catch up with you. I feel like we've barely spoken since you got home."

Rolling my eyes, I smile genuinely. "That is so not true, but fine. Brunch it is."

The weather is perfect for a day out on the patio of Le Petite Arrêt, and I have to admit that enjoying a bit of time out of the house with my mom is nice.

Really nice, considering what the doctor said.

As we follow the hostess to a table in the shade on the back patio, the sunlight speckles through the tree branches, and I help Mom into her chair.

"Oh, this is lovely. Thank you," she says to the woman, who informs us that our server will be along shortly.

"So, what are you going to get?" I ask, and my mother gives me a beaming smile.

"I'm getting what I always get, dear. A BLT with truffle fries and sweet tea. You?"

I look down at the menu in front of me. For as easy as this should be, I can't seem to find anything on the extensive café menu that interests me.

I'm in a good mood. Why is this so hard?

But then it hits me. I'm relieved about my mother, but that just leaves me with the other thing in town that's always pulling my focus.

Mason is on my mind too much, and I still have no idea what I want to do about that.

"Umm, I think I'll go with the tuna salad wrap and a tea as well."

Mom smiles. "Going with your old standby, too, huh?"

Shrugging, I give her a nod and lay the menu on top of hers so that the server knows we're ready.

"Yeah, I know. I always have the same lunch. I can't help it."

My mother just grins all the harder, reaching across the table and taking my hand.

"I love it, honey. I've missed being able to go out with you. You've been gone for so long…I just wanted this. Ever since you've been home."

"Me too. It's nice to be out at brunch with you."

The waiter comes and we give him our order. When we're left alone again, Mom eyes me, and I pause mid-sip of my water.

"What?"

"If you missed me, missed your brother, why didn't you visit? You know we would have taken you in if you needed a place to stay."

And there it is.

I know exactly why I didn't come home before, and she knows I don't want to talk about it.

Still, how much longer did I think I was going to be able to put this off? Of course, my mom wants to talk now that we're out and alone.

"Mom, I?—"

She frowns, giving me that look she's so good at. "Don't ‘Mom' me. I'm well aware that you're keeping something to yourself. Bridget, honey, you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm not going to judge you if that's what you're worried about."

I sigh, slouching into the chair as my head spins.

Being judged is only a tiny portion of what's keeping me from talking about this. Yes, I don't want her to know how passive I've been in my own life, how much I let Jai control me.

But more, I don't want her to be in danger. Jai knows about my mom, of course, but as long as she doesn't look like a threat to his reclaiming me, I think he'll leave her alone.

If she speaks up against him, though? I know precisely how horrible he can be.

"It's not that I don't think I can talk to you, Mom. It's just…"

My words die off as I see that look in her eyes. My mom is worried for me, and I can't say that she doesn't have a reason to be.

The secret I've been holding onto for years burns in my chest, and I want more than ever to finally let someone in on it.

Jai kept me isolated while we were together, but that didn't magically go away when I left. I've been on the run, never stopping or getting close to anyone.

It's been exhausting—and lonely.

The waiter comes and gives us our food, and after we both take a few bites, I can't stand the silence anymore.

"I left Jai on bad terms, Mom. It was rough."

Her eyes meet mine, and I can see the sympathy beaming out of them.

"Oh, honey. What happened?"

With a long, shaky exhale, I take a sip of my tea, trying to ease the tension enough to keep going.

"I…I didn't like who I was with Jai. I let him talk over me and boss me around. And he had no problem doing just that."

I don't detail the lengths to which he was willing to go to keep me in line, but somehow, I think my mom knows what I'm getting at.

"He, umm, I don't think he really liked me for me, you know? I think he just wanted to own something."

Sniffling around the words, I look up at my mom again, only to find that she's fighting back tears. It hits me much more than expected, and I hate that I've kept her in the dark like this.

I hate that I had to.

"Bridget, I…" Mom's voice cracks, and she clears her throat to regain it. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish I could have been there for you. It couldn't have been easy to have an emotionally abusive boyfriend."

Abusive? Jai wasn't ? —

But I stop myself before the old habit of covering up for him takes me any further. He was emotionally abusive, and I know it.

He was physically abusive, too, but it's the way he manipulated me—made me think I was irrational and stupid—that clings to my every thought.

I don't want to let him win anymore.

"It wasn't." I nod. "It…I hope you understand. I just didn't feel strong enough to call and tell you. I barely feel strong enough now."

My mother blinks rapidly to fight back the tears, and I wind up doing the same. She takes both my hands as she reaches across the table and squeezes.

"You are an amazing person and daughter, Bridget. Don't you dare let him make you think otherwise. I love you so much, and the thought that someone hurt my baby…"

Mom's expression changes from sorrow to fury just like that, and I can sense the anger and hatred she has for Jai.

Whoever once said don't mess with a momma's children probably knew the expression well.

"Well, anyway," Mom shakes herself, taking a hand back to wipe under her eyes, "you're home now, and if that Jai ever bothers you, you come tell me. I'll show him the business end of my wooden spoon."

I can't help but laugh, and after another moment, we go back to eating. I know that my mom means well, but there's no way in hell I'm telling her if Jai "bothers" me again.

Wooden spoons can't hold a candle to what Jai can do.

As Mom finishes up her sandwich, she gestures toward the street.

"We should go to the pharmacy on the way home. My new prescription is probably ready."

"Sure. We can stop by when?—"

"Well, hello there, stranger," My mother interrupts, and I turn around in my chair to see who she's talking to.

Oh no.

Coming out of the café with a to-go coffee in his hand is Mason. He's wearing a suit instead of his typical business casual, and I have to force myself to smile and act cool.

"Mason, are you going into the office?"

I try to go for curious, but I'm not sure my tone reflects that.

He shakes his head. "Hey, Bev. Bridget. No, actually. I've got a rental showing. There's a couple who's interested in the updated lodge, so…"

I nod, unable to keep myself from asking about his daughter.

"Where's Mia? Did you need me to?—"

"Oh, no. Thank you, though. She's actually with Juniper and Hudson. When he came by to pick Juniper up, I asked him for the favor."

"Oh, okay."

I just nod again, but there's a weird part of me that feels possessive over watching Mia.

It's beyond silly, but I've really come to love that little girl, even though it's only been a week or so.

"Well, good luck on the showing. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

Mason nods this time. "Thanks. And yeah. Tomorrow. Bev, it was nice seeing you. Glad to see you looking better, too."

My mother smiles, waving him off like she's some Southern Belle. "Oh, Mason, you flatter me. Thank you. And I appreciate you working with Bridget since she just got back home. You're a good man."

He actually blushes slightly, and dammit, that shouldn't be so adorable. "Oh, well, of course. I needed the help, so it's perfect. I really should be going, though. See you girls later."

With a small wave, Mason starts for his car, which I now see is parked up the block a bit.

"See ya," I whisper, locking eyes with him for just a moment before he's gone.

Mason's stare still burns, however, even as he sits down in his car and pulls away. The memory of his lips on mine makes them tingle, and I have to blink myself back to reality.

"Now there's a man that would treat you right, Bridget."

My attention snaps to my mother. "Mom!"

"What?" She eyes me like it's nothing. "I have eyes, don't I? You two have been circling around each other ever since you were kids. I always thought he'd wind up with you, and now that Jai's out of the picture…"

"Oh my God, this isn't happening."

I hang my head between my hands, but I can still feel my mother's knowing smirk leveled directly at me.

"Well, it's not if you don't make a move, honey. Mason is sweet, but that man will never ask you out first. You're going to have to do the work, Bridget."

"I am not asking him out, Mother. He's my boss and Hudson's best friend."

She scoffs. "Pfft, that's not a big deal. And come on, like love plays by the rules."

I can't bring myself to respond.

That's twice in one day that the women in my life have told me to go for it with Mason, and it's becoming harder and harder to say no.