13. Bridget

THIRTEEN

Bridget

Sleep didn't come easy last night, and I wake up in my bed dry, still groggy, and ready to go right back to sleep. I can't, though, because there's still so much to do around the house for Mom.

So much worse, however, is knowing Hudson and Meredith are downstairs. They brought me home last night and crashed here instead of going to their own place.

It was clear that I was upset last night, and I know that this morning, they'll have questions .

Mason kissed you. Mason fucking kissed you.

I can't get the thoughts out of my head, so I stand up out of bed and head to the bathroom. If I'm going to be awake, I can at least get a shower in.

I ditch the pajamas I somehow managed to find last night, and reach inside the shower to get the hot water going.

It always takes a few moments for it to be warm, and I use the time to run a brush through my hair.

He doesn't like the brown. You don't either.

My stomach is twirling in knots, and I know I'm going to need some Tylenol and breakfast to feel more normal.

If normal is an option at this point. Whenever I'm with Mason…it's just so hard. I know it's way too dangerous for me to get involved with him with Jai still out there.

Images of that waiter come up in my mind. How sure I was that he was Jai.

Embarrassment and anger rage through me, working with the remnants of alcohol to make my nausea worse.

Thankfully, the lukewarm water helps my body to regulate my temperature, and it backs off. Still, thoughts of Jai and what he would do if he were here tangle up in my mind, refusing to leave me alone.

I make quick work of the shower, scrubbing down and washing my hair in a matter of a few minutes.

When I step out, I wrap a towel around myself and twist one over my hair. I'm not doing much today, so I decide that a T-shirt and jean shorts are plenty good for the day, and get dressed quickly.

Once I'm set, I head downstairs, fully expecting to see everyone crowded around the kitchen table or hanging out in the living room.

There's no one.

As I look at the time on my phone, I see how early it is, and I'm not surprised that I'm the only one up.

So, I go into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and find myself scrolling through social media as I sip at the comforting golden-brown liquid.

After a few minutes, a suggested article comes up, and my stomach clenches.

I still get notices about Jai in the news. As much as I hate seeing them, getting a quick glimpse of his life can tell me if he's stopped tracking me.

It takes me several long seconds before I'm able to click on the article and read about what he's been up to.

I just want to know if he's forgotten about me, if he's moved on.

According to the piece, his company, XI Tech, is doing well. He's recently won an award through it.

Something to do with innovation in the tech industry, but I've never been able to follow all that.

What I don't see is any mention of a new girlfriend or being spotted with anyone. And I fall into a rabbit hole trying to dig up any proof that he might have hooked up seriously with anyone else.

Nothing.

My heart pounds as I lock eyes with the photo of Jai at a gala. His charismatic, cold stare lances through me like a laser, and I stifle a shiver.

He can't be here, at least. The party was just two weeks ago.

I clutch the phone hard enough to turn my knuckles white, unable to pry my eyes away from the picture of him.

"Ugh."

Hudson's groan shakes me from my thoughts, and I stuff my cell into my pocket. As I turn in my seat, I'm treated to the sight of my hungover brother dragging himself down the stairs.

He still looks half asleep, and I get up to put the coffee on.

"How ya feeling, bro?"

With a wince, Hudson scrubs his face over his eyes and sits down at the kitchen table.

"Not so loud."

I chuckle, knowing I'm speaking at a normal volume.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I joke. "Maybe I should get you a nice hangover cure. How about a pork sandwich three days old and served in a bit of Mom's gutters?"

Hudson groans again, laying his head on the table. "Less making fun of me and more with the coffee and painkillers."

With a laugh, I bring Hudson a fresh cup of coffee and then reach into the cupboard for the Tylenol. There's a bottle of Pepto next to it so I deliver that as well.

"Here you go."

Sitting them down next to him, Hudson hauls himself up from the table with a weak smile.

"My hero."

"You're welcome. But maybe some sisterly advice?" I eye him with my brows raised, and Hudson nods tiredly. "Next time, don't take advantage of the bartenders being so gracious with their pours."

"Noted," Hudson replies, sipping at his coffee. "But anyway, how was your night. I lost you for a minute there, and then you were so tired you wanted to come home."

Memories of standing behind Mason's door while he chatted to Hudson make my heart pound, and I struggle to just nod and shrug.

"Fine. Nothing to write home about. I'm not really one for parties, so I was just feeling overstimulated."

Hudson nods, or something akin to it, with his head down and his hands wrapped around the warm mug.

"Fair enough. Well," he hoists himself up from the table, "I told Meredith that she could sleep while I go get Juniper, so I'm going to finish this and then change. What are you up to today?"

"Just helping Mom," I reply, giving Hudson a smile as he struggles to sip his coffee through what looks like an impressive hangover.

"Mmm," is all I get back from him, and as promised to Meredith, Hudson finishes his coffee and then goes to get dressed and pick up his son.

I stay down at the table, bringing up some tea to Mom after a bit, but sitting at the small table alone with my thoughts is all I can manage beyond that.

About fifteen minutes later, Meredith comes down.

"Please tell me there's still coffee."

I give her a smile and nod. "I made an entire pot. Seemed like a coffee-heavy kind of day."

"You are the best sister-in-law I could ever ask for."

Meredith pours herself a cup, and I notice she takes it black like Hudson. As she takes a seat across from me, I remind myself that I need to play it cool.

No one knows that last night was anything special, and I want to keep it that way.

"You two definitely hit it hard, huh? Do you want some Tylenol? There's some in the cupboard."

Peeking up at me, Meredith shakes her head. "Oh, no. I'll be fine once this is in me. And yeah. I think it had been too long since Hudson and I had a night out without Juniper. Of course, we love the kid, but it's nice to just be an adult for a while."

"Sure. That makes sense. That's probably how Mason and Easton are feeling, too."

Meredith chuckles lightly, drinking her coffee with impressive speed. "Hey, that reminds me."

When she looks up at me, I'm immediately hit by the fact that she looks a lot less hungover now and is waggling her eyebrows at me.

"What?" I respond, my pulse quickening.

"Oh, come on. I saw the way Mason looked at you. What's going on there?"

Panic rocks through me in a hard burst, and I nearly spit out my tea.

"No, no, no. Nothing. I'm just watching Mia. Nothing is going on between Mason and me. No, no, no."

Raising her brows at me, Meredith smirks and leans on one elbow as she regards me.

"That was too many nos, wasn't it?"

She nods. "Way too many."

I sigh, which immediately turns into a low grumble about how I've always been a terrible liar.

Still, I don't plan on saying anything until I look up into Meredith's cool stare, and she just waits.

I'm cooking in my juices just like she wants me to, and dammit, I have to hand it to her. The tactic works.

"Ugh! Fine!" I flop my face into my hands, speaking through my fingers. "Mason kissed me."

"I'm sorry. What was that?"

I can't hide behind my hands forever, so I lean back in the chair, staring at the ceiling.

"Mason kissed me. But," I tack on, "he was clearly drunk, and I don't think it meant anything."

"Bridget," Meredith starts, "people don't just kiss people for no reason. Drunk or not. And don't you two have a history?"

My stomach clenches, and I snap my gaze to my sister-in-law.

"Who told you that?"

She cocks her head at me, giving the classic "oh please" look.

"Who do you think? Your mother."

"Well, hell. Yes, we have a bit of a history. But as that word implies, it's all in the past. Our lives are drastically different now. We're not the same people we were."

Meredith shrugs. "So?"

I chuckle through my exasperation. " So , it's not like I can just date him. He's my boss. I'm taking care of Mia. Not to mention, he's Hudson's best friend."

"Bridget, you can date whoever you want. There's not actually any law against falling for your brother's bestie, or your boss, for that matter. You just have to be ethical about it."

An abrupt cut of laughter rushes out of me, and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, because it's really that easy." I sigh, laying myself across the table before I shoot right back up. "You cannot tell Hudson. I…I'm not dealing with that, especially since nothing is going to happen."

"I won't. I'm not a total bitch." Meredith pats my hand. "But you can't just sit here and do nothing about your feelings. That's how people die angry and alone."

Tension clings to every muscle and the relaxed quiet I had before everyone woke up is certainly gone now.

"Meredith, I…there are other things at play here besides my feelings."

She nods like she knows something I don't and looks off at the door where Hudson will come back with their kiddo.

"There always is, hun. Look," she sighs again, refocusing on me, "I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but here's a tiny piece of advice from someone who's been through the wringer with her feelings. Life is so short and dangerous and hard. When you find someone who makes all that seem like it's not so bad, you grab onto them with everything you can.

"You'll never know what could have happened, the incredible life you could have enjoyed if you don't make a move. It's terrifying and risky, for sure. But if you want something—someone—you can't let anything stand in your way."

It's impossible to hear all that and not feel like I owe Meredith the effort to try this. She's cleary going for best sister-in-law status, and for some reason I don't want to let her down.

Damn, she's too good at this shit.

"I appreciate the advice, Meredith. I really do. I just…" My voice wavers and I have to clear my throat to get it back under control. "I don't even really know what the future could be like with Mason."

Meredith sighs, putting a hand on top of mine where it rests on the table.

"What is your heart telling you?"

I chuckle, but there is no humor to it, and the creeping sadness at the edges gets stronger.

"I don't know. I haven't listened to it much. Not for a long while."

My chest feels heavy as Meredith offers me a sympathetic look. But it's true.

Ever since moving out west with Jai, I haven't been listening to what I really want. Hell, probably before that.

Because if I had been—if I'd actually listened to my desires and not just my need for validation—I probably wouldn't have gone off with him.

"Oh, hun. I think that's where you need to start then. You need to sit down with yourself and have a little heart-to-heart. Pardon the pun."

I give Meredith a smile, knowing that she's more right than she realizes.

Because the truth is that it's not just Mason and my feelings I have to consider. I need to think about Jai.

Not if I want to go back there—I definitely don't—but if I can finally bring myself to stand up to him.

I've tried the cops to an extent, but in LA Jai knew the captain of the department close to our house. He has pull.

Pull I don't have.

So, running seemed like the better thing to do. I'm not so sure anymore, and maybe it's time I reconsider my plans.

I'm terrified something will happen to Mason or Mia, and myself of course, but I think I might be more terrified that I'll be stuck in this loop forever.

Run, hide, panic, repeat.

I can't keep that up.

"Well, for now, I'm going upstairs to get changed. I have some errands to do for Mom."

I stand up from the table, looking down at Meredith. "Thank you. Really."

"Any time, Bridget. I'm here whenever you need me."

With another smile and a quick over-the-shoulder hug, I go back upstairs to get ready for the day.

I know I have to figure all this out, but I have time. There's no rush yet.

At least, I hope so.