Chapter 29

Kleena

Kleena’s heart ached to hear Erhan’s words, to hear everything she’d secretly hoped for suddenly spoken aloud. But as the words hung in the air between them, she felt a resistance in her heart.

After everything that had happened, how could she truly allow herself to trust him?

“I don’t know, Erhan…” she began, shaking her head slightly and turning her gaze away.

From the corner of her eye, she saw him lean forward; saw the pained look on his face at her rejection. It made her breath catch in her throat as she felt the warmth of him emanating toward her.

It was the closest they’d been since returning to Nirum, and it brought a host of warm memories flooding back to her. Memories she’d been trying to keep at bay.

“Kleena,” he began, his voice soft and searching. “How else can I say it? I’ve fallen entirely in love with you. You must know that.”

Those last words did it, broke her open and left her finally raw to him. She felt something in her chest open up, and despite her best efforts, it beckoned to her, urging her to let go and fall into the love that she’d been holding back this whole time.

When she met his gaze, she knew she couldn’t fight it any more. She knew he meant what he said and she knew she felt the same.

“Tell me you don’t believe me,” he challenged her and she knew she couldn’t. It was clear Erhan knew that, too.

When he leaned forward to kiss her, that was the last barrier. She let herself fall into the kiss, let herself get lost in the softness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue. She let her hands meet his face, and when he found hers, she realized she was crying. The tears ran down her cheeks, only to be caught by his hands.

A swell of love, of relief and belonging, rose in Kleena’s chest as they kissed. It was as if she’d been waiting for this her whole life. In fact, maybe she had.

For a moment, all her doubts and fears were washed away with that wave of love. It felt good, it felt safe, it felt…

But a sound at the door pulled them suddenly from their reverie. Kleena looked up to see a doctor enter the room, followed closely by the queen.

“Oh, you two!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together in delight. “I’m so pleased to see you’ve found your way back to each other. I hoped some time apart would give you the space you needed, but I suppose in times like these, the heart cannot be stopped. Well, that makes this news even more exciting!”

“What news?” Kleena asked, her hand still clutching Erhan’s. Her heart pounded as the queen stepped closer, gazing at them both with a look Kleena couldn’t quite place.

“The news that you’re gravid, my dear! Pregnant with Ehran’s nirlings.” The queen announced with a blazing smile.

The words struck Kleena like a punch in the chest. Around her, it seemed as if the world was moving in slow motion, but all she could do was sit frozen and watch it all happening as if to someone else.

The doctor’s nods of confirmation, the queen’s bubbling congratulations, and Erhan’s cry of happiness along with his embrace—it all seemed entirely unreal. Or hyperreal. Kleena couldn’t decide.

Even as Erhan’s arms enveloped her, Kleena felt as if an icicle was formed in her spine. Something made her sit rigid and still rather than sinking into his embrace.

Because she finally knew the truth.

Janaya’s hissing words came rushing back to her: surrogate, breeder, whore. All the relief and joy of Erhan’s confession now felt hollow. He had challenged her to doubt his love, and this news brought her up to the challenge.

Kleena’s train of thought was broken when Erhan suddenly pulled her close, pressing his lips against hers with a new fervor. But everything in Kleena revolted at the sudden closeness to this male, who she wasn’t even sure she knew anymore.

The knowledge that she had been duped consumed her, and suddenly the icicle melted, replaced with the white-hot anger of one who has been fooled in the worst of ways.

“Get off me!” she cried suddenly, wrenching herself from his embrace and pushing him back.

The cries of celebration that had echoed around the room fell into a stunned silence. The only sound was Kleena’s panting breath. Soon, though, the gasping for air became thick and wet and erratic.

Her panting had turned into sobbing.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Erhan questioned her, but she couldn’t answer.

Instead, she buried her head into her hands, overwhelmed by everything that was happening to her. She had fallen for this male, only to learn that he wasn’t who she thought he was. And now she was pregnant—gravid—with his alien children.

What did that even mean? And why was he playing these games with her? If she was supposed to be a breeder, why did he play as if he loved her? At least with the Jorvlens, she was under no illusions. Here, she was still effectively a sex slave. She just didn’t know it until this moment.

“You’re using me,” she finally choked out between sobs.

When she managed to look at Erhan, she saw only confusion in his eyes. It made her angry to think, even now, he would continue to deceive her.

“I’m not going to fall for this,” she continued, still sobbing as she spoke. “I want nothing to do with you, with or without the baby in the picture.”

Instinctively, her hand shot to her belly, and for the first time, the reality truly sank in. She was with child. The thought of a new life growing inside her shocked her to her core, and as much as she loved the thought of being a mother, she dreaded the life this child would endure if she allowed Erhan to keep using her as he had been.

No , she thought. The best thing is to get us both as far from Erhan as possible.

The thought crossed her mind that, as the child of a prince, that would be much easier said than done. But she brushed it aside. She would find a way out, just as Janaya had foretold.

The thought of the Niri woman suddenly jolted Kleena, and she almost flinched even at the memory of her. At the time, Janaya had scared her, but now Kleena found something unexpected creeping into her chest. She found, to her surprise, that she actually felt sorry for the Niri woman.

Now that she knew Erhan was only using her for breeding, Janaya’s jealousy was understandable. What could be more insulting to a barren woman than to be replaced by another?

It made Kleena shudder. Despite Janaya’s threats and malice, Kleena couldn’t bring herself to cast her aside, the same way she would be cast aside by Erhan the moment their child was born. She had more integrity than that.

“Kleena,” Erhan was saying, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. “What’s going on? What are you saying?”

He seemed to be truly confused, and for a second, Kleena wanted to believe this had just been a huge misunderstanding. But she couldn’t possibly see a way for that to be true. As much as her heart ached to do it, she pulled her hand out of Erhan’s, so deliberately that he didn’t try to take it again.

She looked Erhan in the eye, her voice resolute as the sobs died away.

“I won’t be part of your adultery,” she told him firmly, even though the thought of leaving him still broke her heart. “You have a fiancée. You should be ashamed.”

The words were out now, Kleena reasoned, although it felt like a black hole had opened up in her chest. She knew she couldn’t live her life begging for the scraps of Erhan’s affection.

Even though she’d fallen for him, the life of a sex slave at worst and concubine at best was enough to crush any hope she might have had left that they would be together.

The thought of the child in her womb bolstered her decision. She had been brought to Nirum to give Erhan a child, but now she was sure the child was hers, and hers alone.