20. Robert

Chapter twenty

Robert

"Here's your food."

The plates are set in front of us, and I look at them. I know that I should eat, but I feel regret pooling in my gut.

"Thanks," I grunt out.

The server leaves, and I take a bite. It does taste good. Maria takes a bite out of hers and chews as she looks around like a Princess who has simply stomped on the help.

"So, what did Andrew want you to talk with me about?" I ask, trying to dispel the regret that sits in my heart. It's not working, but at least I can try.

Maria sits back and smiles.

"He wants to discuss a possible contract. He wants to see you in the next couple of weeks. That's the message I'm here to give you."

"Wait, there's nothing else?" I ask, trying to hide my frustration. Maria calls me out here just to tell me that Andrew wants to talk in the next coming weeks?

"Yeah. Sorry, Andrew didn't give me the details."

"I see."

We eat in silence, and after we finish, I set the plates to the side. Now's the best time to ask questions, at least. I take a deep cleansing breath and begin.

"Where were you the last seven years? You left me at the altar. You said you wanted a future, a family together."

It's better to just pull off the Band-Aid now than beat around the bush. Maria takes a sip of her latte and smiles.

"I'm sorry, Robert. I had my reasons, leaving you like that. Seven years ago, I was a different woman. I was young, stupid, and didn't even have a real career."

"So, you left because . . . ."

"I just didn't have my life together. Looking back, I know that's stupid, but I was young. You were young too, just getting your company off the ground."

"And?"

Maria leans forward, smiling. "I remember your dad always liked me, and I regret doing him and your family dirty like that."

"Let's get this perfectly straight. You regret hurting my family but not me? And you say it with a smile?"

"No, that's not it! I just, I didn't know why I even thought that was a smart move."

"That makes two of us," I retort.

Maria takes another sip of her latte, and then she shrugs.

"Well, you're single, right? There's always a chance to rectify mistakes."

I don't know what to say. Sara and I aren't officially together. That was just to appease the family, at least to begin with. We've had some amazing times together. I really like her, but I'm just so confused.

"Yes, I'm single, but not even considering how you could possibly rectify what you did."

Maria frowns and sighs. "Same as ever."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you don't realize what you had and the potential to fix the mistakes."

"Some mistakes are not fixable."

What Maria did and the depression that settled in because of her actions isn't something one can just forgive at the drop of a hat, maybe never.

I look at Maria. She's pretty, but these last seven years haven't been good to her. She's not the same woman that I remember from back then, but instead an older shell of a person from before.

"Anyway, enough about that. So, you've just been living life, haven't you?" she asks.

"Pretty much. After what happened, I couldn't bear to even consider dating until after I got my life together."

Although I never asked her about her current life, she apparently felt compelled to fill me in. "Well, I been climbing the corporate ladder and then started to work for Andrew. He mentioned you during a business conference, and I thought if fate brought us together, I could talk to you about what happened."

"I see," is all I could muster.

"And it has. I'm happy, Robert, to finally have some peace of mind."

Her hand rests on mine. I slide it away instinctively. When Maria touches me or does anything really, it makes the gut-wrenching feeling in my heart even worse.

I don't want this. I don't want her.

After we finish our food, Maria gets up and looks outside.

"Are you free to catch up?"

"I've got to get back to the office in a bit," I reply, averting my eyes. This isn't what I want, so why am I even considering another conversation?

I follow Maria out of the café and see the cashier staring at me, wide-eyed and confused. I turn away. I wonder if she remembers me from Sara's exploits.

We walk outside, and Maria gestures to the park. "Let's go there."

"I don't need to—"

"Oh, come now. Andrew has another message for you."

I sigh, defeated and unsure of what to do. I figure it's another lie, but I follow her over there. As we sit down, Maria reaches for my arm. She clenches around it, clinging, and I move away.

"I'm sorry Maria. I just. I can't."

"What do you mean?"

My heart races. I don't want to hurt her, but the sooner I get this off my chest, the better. I take a deep breath, mustering up the courage to just tell her everything without any stops.

"Why are you here? What's your real reason?"

Maria's eyes widen, the walls coming down. I knew from the moment she appeared this wasn't just a business meeting. She stands up, touching my hand.

"I've missed you, Robert. I know it's been a long time, and I regret what I've done, but—"

"So, you step back into my life, thinking that you can just waltz in like that?"

She nods. "Yes. I'm a different person, Robert. I've done some growing up. I want to start from where we left off, and this time I won't run away. I promise."

Her hand sits on my shoulder. I look her in the eyes. They're focused, unwavering. She's telling me the truth, at least in her own mind. But it makes me want to vomit, hearing this.

I shake my head, knowing the answer from the bottom of my heart. "I'm sorry, Maria, but that's impossible. I don't want to try again."

"What do you mean? You're different too, right?"

"Yes, and those seven years hardened me. Honestly, after the mess with you, I thought I'd never fall for someone again. I thought I was a lost cause."

I remember the people my parents tried to set me up with. Tiresome women who only cared about my position and power. None of them gave a darn about who I was as a person.

But after meeting Sara, I realize that there's something more there. She's a breath of fresh air, the sunshine I need in life, and not nipping this in the bud, telling Sara how I feel, is already one of my biggest regrets.

"I know, and I'm sorry I hurt you like this. But please, I want to try again and—"

"I don't, Maria. I don't want another chance. I don't want you!" My words are harsh, and they feel rough, even as I utter them from my lips. Maria sighs and looks down. Her hands clench.

"So, all of this was for nothing then. I worked hard, trying to be better—"

"You might've gotten better and improved, but so have I. There's someone else, and right now I regret not being as adamant about our relationship as I should've been."

Maria steps back, tears falling from her face.

"Goodbye, Robert. I know exactly where I sit with you. I hope you have a nice life, and I don't plan on ever seeing you again."

"You as well, Maria. Have a good life."

Maria turns away, almost running out of the park. I sit on the bench, realizing how much of an idiot I am. What I have just done in that café might be the biggest mistake of my life.

I should've been more secure about my relationship with Sara. I should have stood up to Maria's disgusting explanations and hurtful comments in the café. Maybe it's because I don't know what the future will bring for Sara and me. What will our relationship be?

Maybe it's because of the age gap, a contrast to Maria, who is only a couple of years younger than me. Nonetheless, I was a fool, no, a hurtful fool. I'm never timid in business. Why did I say nothing?

I open my phone and attempt to call Sara. Nothing. I put the phone away and rest my head in my hands.

There's no way out of this. I lost my chance, and I hurt the one person I care about.

Sara is the person who has opened my heart, showing me it's okay to fall for someone once again. And I was not there for her.

But that moment's gone. All that's left is emptiness.