15. Rafe

As our plane soared through the bright blue sky and passed the occasional fluffy white cloud, I stared out the window at the patchwork quilt of Midwestern fields below us. The flight back to Milwaukee was entirely different for me compared with the flight to Key West. Gone were my fears, replaced by a sense of wonder that seemed to emerge from the core of my being.

Beside me, Theo rested his hand on my thigh, a reassuring touch amid the hum of plane engines and the murmur of conversations around us. I leaned my head against his shoulder with a soft smile teasing the corners of my mouth.

"I never thought I"d be at peace on a plane."

Theo looked up from his phone. "After that first flight, I wondered whether it would ever happen, too, but look at you. You"re riding along like a seasoned traveler. The world"s our oyster now, Rafe."

I chuckled and looked out the window again, spotting another plane in the far distance heading in the opposite direction. "I wonder what it"s like to fly all the way across the ocean. You did that, right?"

"Yes, for my honeymoon. The plane was larger, so getting up and moving around was easier, but that jet lag was a killer."

Turning away from the window, I glanced around the cabin. Our flight was nearly full of fellow passengers, and everyone had a unique story to tell. An older couple sat with their hands clasped tightly together, eyes closed, and gentle smiles on their faces.

A few rows ahead of me and across the aisle, a young mother cradled her sleeping infant. It made me think about the occasional brief conversations with Theo about children. Someday, I knew I might be a father.

My gaze returned to Theo. He played a game on his phone, passing the time engrossed in chasing something across multiple levels. As I watched him, I felt silent gratitude to the universe for bringing him into my path in the grocery store in Blue Harbor.

When the wheels of our plane finally touched the tarmac in Milwaukee, the jolt of our arrival vibrated through my body. Beside me, Theo squeezed my hand. He opened his eyes and declared, "We"re home."

"Only an hour and a half drive away now," I clarified.

When we left the airport, the crisp November air was a stark reminder of the Upper Midwest"s sharp seasonal change. Almost all the leaves were gone from the trees, and the first snow would soon arrive.

Settling back into the gentle rhythm of life in Blue Harbor was easy. Eager baking customers welcomed me back to the Little Blue Bean with open arms. "I"ve got even more exciting new items to come," I told them, explaining that I was ready to try out more treasured recipes from my ancestors.

One evening in mid-November, Theo and I sat in the living room with a crackling fire in the fireplace. "Let"s buy a house together," he suddenly suggested. "It can be a place we"ll call our home, representing our new beginnings—your bakery, new paintings, and our relationship."

I turned to gaze into his hazel eyes. "Are you serious? I thought you loved this old house."

"I did… I do, but Dawson and I chose it with particular ideas for our lives unfolding together. Things are different now. I don"t want to abandon him, but I think having a house that represents us would be exciting. Maybe it would be somewhere with space for a home studio for me and a large kitchen for you. What do you think?"

I grinned from ear to ear. "I think it"s exciting. Can we swing it financially?"

"When I sell this house, it won"t be a problem. That means we aren"t going to buy something sprawling and overly expensive, but we"ll have plenty of money to find somewhere comfortable for the two of us… and maybe ultimately one young addition."

"Oh, so being a dad is still in the plans." I leaned against Theo"s shoulder and rubbed my hand in circles over his chest.

"It is if you want that, too."

"Of course I do. Sometimes, I dream about us going to sports events to cheer on little Charlotte or Lucas."

"Or little Willow or Henry." We both laughed.

We didn"t waste time in the search for a sanctuary we could call our own. I envisioned sitting on a front porch on lazy Sunday mornings sipping coffee. Theo said having enough backyard to plant a vegetable garden was essential.

Our search began with us almost overwhelmed by the options. Our first stop was a stately Victorian house a block off Maple Street. It had two turrets and intricate well-maintained gingerbread trim.

As we stepped inside, dark hardwood greeted us from every direction. I imagined the house hosting lavish dinner parties more than a century ago. Passionate arguments among the men mingled with the clink of crystal and classical music played by a string quartet in a corner.

When we wandered through the labyrinthine hallways, and our footsteps echoed off the high ceilings, Theo turned toward me. "It"s a bit much, don"t you think?"

I exhaled. "I"m glad you said that. I can"t see myself aspiring to the grandiosity that this house deserves."

The next house was sleek and modern, with clean lines and floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. They flooded the room with natural light. Recent renovations outfitted the home with state-of-the-art appliances. It would be perfect for hosting Theo"s artsy acquaintances.

Unfortunately, as we moved from room to room, the minimalist design began to feel cold and impersonal. The house lacked the warmth and character we hoped to find. As I stood by Theo, looking out of the patio doors toward woods a short distance away, I said, "It"s a stunning house, but…"

"It"s not a home." He completed the thought for me.

We pressed on, checking out the various house options in Blue Harbor. We explored bungalows with large, grassy backyards and farmhouses on the edge of town with wraparound porches.

Finally, as we were almost ready to give up, we stumbled upon a small cottage by the lake just north of town. Something about it clicked like we"d turned a lost key in its lock. It stood on a small bluff over the water with a steep path leading down to the shore.

The cottage needed a lot of work. That was likely the only reason other buyers hadn"t snatched it up. It had chipped paint on many of the doorways, and the floorboards creaked noisily in places. Still, character oozed from every corner.

The kitchen was large with vintage appliances. Old farmhouse cabinets reaching the ceiling promised more storage than we could ever use. Looking around me, I thought about filling the space with my lavender, vanilla, and nutmeg scents.

Theo tugged on my elbow. "You love it, don"t you?"

"The people who lived here loved each other. It"s in the walls."

"You and your sixth sense, Rafe. Did you see the view from the main bedroom upstairs?"

"I could stare out at the lake from there for hours."

"This is it," Theo announced. He grabbed both of my hands. "I want to build my life with you right here. We can grow old and sit on the front porch together, watching the waves. There"s more than enough space for my painting, your baking, and our garden. What do you think?"

"I love it. I can"t imagine anything more perfect."

With our hearts nearly bursting with joyful dreams of our future, we signed our names on the dotted line and took possession of the keys to our house. It was already nearly December, so many of our plans would have to wait for spring to commence, but I loved that we"d acted decisively and prevented anyone from taking away the house of our dreams.

With snow arriving late, we immediately embarked on breathing new life into our cottage by the lake. The smells of sawdust and fresh paint mingled with the pungent, medicinal aroma of Theo"s turpentine and the sweetness of my baked creations.

One sunny Saturday in early December, we were elbow-deep in chaotic work on the house when a knock on the front door startled us. Wiping sweat from my brow, I answered. I blinked twice when I found Theo"s mom standing on the porch.

She wasn"t her usual impeccable self, appearing slightly disheveled like she"d been battling an internal force on her way to our place. In her hands, she held a small, neatly wrapped package. Looking into her eyes, I didn"t see the judgmental glare of previous days. In its place was a vulnerable expression that startled me.

"Rafe, hello." She took a tentative step forward and waited for my response.

I gestured to usher her inside. "Welcome to our new home."

She nodded. "I know I"m probably the last person you expected to see here, and I wouldn"t blame you if you asked me to leave, but I want to make amends."

"Why would I ask you to leave? Theo tells me you"re feeling much better about our relationship."

She rubbed her left arm with her right hand. "Yes, that"s true, but I know how awful I was before that. It was truly unforgivable."

Theo joined us. "Mom, what brings you here?"

She took a deep breath and held the box in a tighter grip. Her words tumbled out in a low tone. "I"ve come to apologize." She looked first at Theo and then at me. "I"ve been so wrong. My fears made it impossible for me to see the beauty of the love the two of you share. You never deserved such harsh treatment from me, Rafe, and I believe I"ve been almost absent as a fitting mother for you, Theo."

Tears began to spill down her cheeks, her composure cracking under the weight of her emotion. "I know I can"t change the past," she added. "I can"t take back my harsh words or judgmental stares, but I"m here today with an open heart and a willingness to learn and grow if the two of you will teach me. I want to be the mother and mother-in-law you each deserve."

She handed me the small box, and our hands brushed. The warmth in her touch was a shock after all the coldness she radiated in the past. I looked down at the gift in my hands.

Looking into my eyes intensely, she had more to say. "I know I have no right to ask you for forgiveness or even acceptance. Still, I"m offering my love, support, and willingness to stand together with you and Theo while you build your new lives. I hope you"ll allow me to be a part of your family and make up for all the lost time over the past several months."

Theo bit his lip as he looked from his mom to me. I knew that the decision, the direction of response to her wish, was mine. I had the power to forgive, condemn, or maintain the current fragile truce.

Taking a deep breath and calling on all the love in my heart, I made a choice. My voice trembled as I said, "Of course, we forgive you. We want you to be part of our family and share in the love and joy we"ve brought to each other."

It was time for us all to shed tears. Our past walls crumbled like a sandcastle hit by an unexpected wave. Theo"s mom sobbed, her shoulders shaking with relief as she reached out for a fierce hug.

"Thank you," she whispered as her tears soaked into the fabric of our shirts. "I"ve never asked for forgiveness before, but it"s high time I start. I promise to prove myself worthy of your trust and love… starting today."

"And what"s this?" I asked, looking down at the box.

"Oh, please, Rafe, open it."

I smiled when I saw what was inside. It was a set of Christmas cookie cutters.

"I hope you can use them. Those are antiques. They belonged to Theo"s great-grandmother." Theo"s mom smiled and nodded while I gingerly held up each one, admiring the craftsmanship.

As we built new bridges to bypass old wounds, I knew we had one more emotional moment ahead. We had a necessary goodbye to say. A day later, hand-in-hand, Theo and I stood before the house he"d once shared with Dawson. The structure also served as my refuge during my most difficult times in Blue Harbor.

Theo wove his fingers together with mine and squeezed. "I have to do this to lay the past to rest, honor it for what it was, and embrace the future yet to come."

The old house, with its weathered clapboard siding needing a new paint job and a slightly overgrown, shaggy garden, looked like it was holding its breath. It knew the significance of the event about to take place.

My heart ached at the sight of Theo. His eyes were dark with a mix of grief and determination. I knew that this final farewell was something he needed for closure, but I wanted to protect him from the pain and shield his heart, but there was nothing I could do.

"Are you sure you"re ready for this?" I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand. "Take as much time as you need, or we can return on a different day if it"s too much for right now."

Theo took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders as he faced me and stared into my eyes. "I"m as ready as I can be." His voice was steady and sure, but he winced slightly. "I need to do this for Dawson and me. I"m not saying goodbye to him. I"m saying goodbye to our shared dreams that can never come true."

My throat constricted as I nodded in agreement. "I"ll be right here by your side unless you need time alone. Let me know what your preferences are."

"Just stay close," he whispered.

With a final squeeze of my hand, he let go and walked up the front steps. I followed two steps behind his shoulder. He paused at the door, and I watched his hand tremble as he reached for the knob.

When we stepped inside, the old house was as welcoming as ever, warm and relaxed in its slightly shabby state. Theo moved slowly through the rooms, each full of echoes of the lives lived there. In the living room, he paused before the fireplace. A row of framed photographs of family and friends stared back at us. The same collection occupied the space when Dawson was still alive.

There was a framed printout of a selfie from Dawson and Theo"s first date. Their faces were alight with the joy of new beginnings. Near it was a classic wedding day photo, the happy couple framed beneath an arbor of white roses.

The last photo they had taken together was at the end of the row. Dawson"s face was gaunt, but he still smiled. Theo"s eyes had dark shadows beneath them, reflecting his sleepless nights. They both clearly knew what was to come, but their never-ending love shone through.

Theo picked up the last photo. His index finger shook as he traced the curve of Dawson"s smile. "I miss you," he whispered in a voice cracking with the intensity of his grief. "Every moment of every day, I miss you so much that sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe."

He closed his eyes and sobbed. "I"m sorry," he choked out. It wasn"t an apology to me. He was speaking to Dawson. "I"m sorry that I couldn"t save you and keep you here with me. I"m sorry for all the dreams we can never make come true."

Theo sank to his knees, clutching the photograph to his chest, his shoulders heaving with the tears. I suddenly understood that it was the first time he allowed himself to feel the total weight of his loss. He let himself experience the racking pain and anger at the forces that took away his dreams and left him aching and lonely.

Then, he looked up toward the ceiling momentarily and then turned his attention to me. "Did you feel that? He was here. I know he was. He"s not gone, Theo. I didn"t think he was, but now I know he isn"t."

I held my hand to my mouth and fought back tears. Theo finally realized that the love he shared with Dawson was what remained and would be around forever. Their story wasn"t over. It was the beginning of a new chapter.

Slowly, with his hand shaking, Theo stood, placing the photograph back on the mantel and letting his fingers linger on Dawson"s face for a final moment. "Thank you, love, for showing me what it means to fall so deeply. You showed me how to give myself to another person fully. And thank you for helping me learn how to move on and embrace a new love when it landed in my lap." He smiled and chuckled softly.

After glancing around the room, Theo turned back toward the front door. I followed, and his steps were significantly lighter than when we entered the house. I stepped up from behind and supported him with an arm wrapped around his waist as we left the same way we entered.

On the front porch, he fell into my embrace. I held him close, and we both knew we were entirely ready to move forward and embrace the dreams for our future.

"I"m so proud of you," I whispered. "You"re the bravest, strongest, and most incredible person I"ve ever known. I"m the luckiest man in the world to be by your side and be the one who gets to love and support you through every twist and turn of our journey through life."

Theo looked into my eyes. "I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone again. I can"t wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

We sealed our promises with a kiss and a tender, passionate embrace.