14. Theo

It was late October, and November was just around the corner. The crisp, colder air of late fall settled over Blue Harbor. Mornings were frequently foggy, and most trees were bare. The bright colors of late summer had faded to a muted palette of gray and brown.

As our days grew shorter and the nights longer, the cold seemed to soak deep into Rafe"s bones, impacting his mood. His eyes sparkled less, and his buoyant spirit was tethered tightly to the earth. He continued his baking activities, but it was with a little less drive as if he were waiting for a spring renewal.

One evening, as we sat together by the fireplace with crackling flames warming the room, an idea appeared in my mind. It was too good to keep to myself.

"Hey, Rafe, I just had a thought." I raked my fingers slowly through his hair. "Why don"t we take that trip to the Florida Keys you"ve wanted to do for a long time? It will get us away from this dreary weather for a while."

He stared into the fire. "I… I don"t know. It would be fun, but this is a little spur of the moment. We need to plan for a trip like that."

I shrugged. "Do we? I think we both could use a little bit of a fresh start, and you"ve shared so many wonderful stories about your grandmother. I bet she would love to see you and show us around Key West."

Rafe continued to drag his heels. "That would be incredible, but… " He hesitated and bit his bottom lip. "I"m not sure it"s a good financial idea. With my baking business just starting to gather steam and thinking about leasing property for a storefront, it sounds like we might be risking a lot."

I took his hand and kissed the knuckles. "I hear you, and it"s good to be concerned about that, but I still have a tidy lump of life insurance money from Dawson, and the gallery"s sales are growing. It might be more risky to pass the opportunity by and trudge through a long, cold winter with no relief."

A smile started to tug at the corners of Rafe"s mouth. "You"re not going to give up on this, are you?"

"In short, no. We owe it to ourselves to take a breather. We"ve plowed our way through a lot in the last several months. It"s time to look for a pocket of peace and revel in it for a week or so."

Rafe reached out and cradled my cheek in his hand. "Okay, I"m in. Grandma will be thrilled to see us, and it might be fun to talk shop with her on the baking recipes."

Two days later, when we dove into trip planning headfirst, Rafe momentarily brought it all to a screeching halt. "Theo, I"ve never flown before, and that"s what you suggest we do. When I moved here, I drove from Schenectady. The idea of being up in the air, soaring through the sky in a narrow metal tube… I don"t know."

I pulled him close to me and kneaded his shoulders. "I didn"t realize it was your first time, but it"s normal to feel a little anxious. Don"t worry, though. I"ll be right there with you. I"ve flown several times, including all the way to Paris for my honeymoon, and I"ll keep you safe."

For the next few days, we focused on Project Florida Keys. I decided to close the gallery while we were gone. Late fall to early spring was my slow season anyway. My recent sales increases were mostly through online outreach. Rafe arranged time off with Sarah and made handwritten cards for his regular customers to explain that he needed a mental health week away.

The night before our flight, we lay in bed side-by-side, finding it hard to sleep as we thought about the trip. Rafe turned to face me. "What if… what if I can"t handle it even with you trying to settle me down?" Raw emotion backed his words. "What if my fear is too much, and I can"t step onto the plane?"

I cradled his handsome face in my hands, my thumbs brushing lightly against his cheekbones. "Rafe, my love," I kept my voice calm, "the unknown can be frightening because it"s unknown. Trust me, though. I think you are running far ahead with this. You have several carts before the horse. I have complete confidence in your courage to deal with the flight, and you"ll come out twice as strong on the other end."

He exhaled and rolled onto his back to stare up into the darkness. "You are amazing sometimes. You know the right words to say to help me fight back against those little anxiety monsters." He raised a fist and pointed it directly at the ceiling. "Key West, here I come!"

While we stuffed our bags into the car"s trunk for our hour-and-a-half ride to the Milwaukee airport, Rafe insisted on stopping at the Little Blue Bean one last time to hug Sarah goodbye. She was such an integral part of his life that I agreed. A cheerful boost from her would help get him on the plane.

Sarah looked up from the counter when we walked through the front door. "Well, if it isn"t my favorite pair of lovebirds. Are you all set for your trip?"

Rafe stepped forward. "I just wanted to stop by on our way to say thank you again. I"m sorry I"ll leave you in the lurch for a week, but I"ll work twice as hard when I return."

She dismissed the concerns with a wave of a hand. "I think this trip is just what the doctor ordered for the two of you. You need a chance to rest and recharge. I"ve only got one request—try to bring some of that sunshine back with you."

"I"ll do my best on that. Maybe I can bring back some new recipe ideas from Grandma."

Sarah beamed. "Sounds like a plan. C"mere and hug me."

As they hugged tightly, Rafe thanked her, saying, "I can"t imagine what my life would have been like if you weren"t here when I arrived in Blue Harbor."

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "You would have survived. That"s who you are: a survivor, fighter, and a man with a heart so big that it knows no bounds."

***

When we settled into our seats on the plane, Rafe gripped my hand tightly. His knuckles started to turn white from the force while tension radiated off his body.

I leaned my shoulder against his. "Look at me. Turn your head and focus on my eyes and my voice. We"re safe. Nothing is going to happen."

When his gaze met mine, his hazel eyes were wide open. "I know," he whispered, "but I still have this horrible sensation that something horrible is going to happen. It"s like my body believes that and won"t listen to my brain."

I shifted in my seat so I could face him better. My knee wedged gently against his thigh. "Fear is an interesting thing." I started to talk, and I knew holding Rafe"s concentration was the most helpful thing I could do, regardless of the topic of conversation. "When we"re scared of something, it"s often not for rational reasons. It"s just part of the survival instinct hard-wired into our brains, and we can learn to control it."

Rafe exhaled, and his hands trembled. "How do I do that? How do I convince my body that we aren"t about to plummet to our deaths from 30,000 feet?"

I smiled at his blunt question. He knew how to cut right to the heart of his terror. "For starters, think about the statistics. Did you know you"re more likely to be struck by lightning than end up in a plane crash?"

"Really? Who said that?"

"It"s a part of well-researched statistics." I wove my fingers together with his. "If the worst were to happen, and it won"t, you"ve got one of the best people in the world sitting beside you. I"ve watched every air disaster documentary on Netflix, which makes me almost an expert in emergency landings."

Rafe suppressed a laugh. I grinned, understanding that I was starting to break through. "Well, in that case…" I heard the sarcasm in his voice. "Who needs a pilot when we"ve got Theo, the armchair flight expert?"

It was a relief to see the old Rafe shining through the cracks in his fear. "That"s right," I declared with exaggerated bravado, "stick with me, kid, and you"ll be just fine."

As the plane taxied down the runway, Rafe"s fingers dug into my forearm, and his breathing quickened. I leaned in close, brushing my lips against his ear.

"Breathe with me. Remember the mindfulness workshop? Focus. Let"s start with your toes."

Rafe closed his eyes while I whispered the body scan exercise to him. His muscles began to relax as the tension drained from his body.

When the plane lifted into the air, he opened his eyes and gasped. Instead of a panicky breath, it was one of awe. "Theo," he breathed with a voice full of wonder, "we"re flying!"

He"d faced his fears and wrestled them to the ground. "We are. And there"s no one I"d rather be climbing into the clouds with than you."

***

As soon as we stepped off the plane in Key West, the warm, humid, tropical air surrounded us. It had a slightly salty scent from the convergence of the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico. Rafe couldn"t wait to leave the airport.

As I drove our rental car toward his grandmother"s house, he rolled down his window and stared at the passing sights: the ocean, turquoise beaches, and houses painted in pastel hues. It was all in stark contrast to the world we left behind in Blue Harbor.

Rafe"s grandmother greeted us at the door of her charming cottage, where a hot pink bougainvillea in full bloom climbed up a trellis near the living room window. She pulled us both into a tight hug, and the sweet smells of vanilla and cinnamon seemed to swirl around her.

"My darling boys," she exclaimed, her eyes bright in her weathered, wrinkled face. "I"m so happy you"re here. It"s surely one of the highlights of my year. Theo, call me Grandma Effie. Everybody does."

Over steaming cups of tea and freshly baked Snickerdoodles, she shared engaging stories about her life in the Keys. She told us about how the islands had changed over time. She"d experienced plenty of joys, sorrows, challenges, and triumphs through the years.

"I remember Rafe and his parents down here at Christmas time. He had one thing on his mind."

I turned to look at him, guessing at what that might be. "Presents?"

Rafe blushed. Grandma Effie shared her story. "He wanted to know whether Santa Claus would find us. When we went to the beach on Christmas Eve, he asked whether the reindeer could swim and pull a boat."

I chuckled. We fell into the local pattern of lazy mornings and sun-drenched afternoons for the first few days of our visit. As we took long walks on the beach, the cold weather up north seemed so far away. We both took the challenges of being in a new environment in stride. Rafe was a perfect travel companion.

One afternoon, we snorkeled at Fort Zachary Taylor State Park. Poking his head out of the water, Rafe asked, "Did you see that? The coral? The fish?"

"I did. It"s incredible. Want to dive down again and check out more?"

"Of course." He didn"t wait for me and splashed down into the water again.

In the evenings, we sat with Grandma Effie on her front porch, watching the sun sink toward the horizon. She encouraged us to watch one sunset from Mallory Square and celebrate nature with locals and tourists alike, but we preferred her quiet porch. On our third evening in Key West, she brought up Rafe"s baking adventures.

Rafe"s resigned sigh surprised me. He cradled a steaming cup of tea while he stared into the distance. "I"m not sure I"m quite ready for this, Grandma," he confessed. "It"s so exciting, and everybody thinks I can do it, but it"s such a huge thing. I"ll have to be on the mark every day. Never have I had people depending on me like they are starting to do at the Little Blue Bean."

Grandma Effie was ready to address his concerns. "My darling, in all the years I"ve known you, I"ve never seen you shy away from a challenge. Do you remember when your father first took you fishing down here?"

"Yeah, he told me I had to catch three fish if I wanted to go on the charter boat with him three days later."

"Did you back down, assuming you couldn"t meet the challenge?"

Rafe smiled. "No, and I caught five!"

Grandma Effie chuckled. "Theo tells me your baking skills go well beyond basic technical matters. He says you immerse yourself in baking and treat it as an art. That, my dear, is your talent."

Rafe"s lower lip quivered as he listened to her words. "But what if my best isn"t enough? The customers are already expecting a lot."

"And are you meeting their expectations?"

"So far… yes, but…"

A wrinkled old hand rose and stopped him. Grandma Effie set her teacup down on her antique tray. "Listen to me closely. You are, and always have been, more than enough to meet expectations. You need to remember that your worth won"t be tied up in the success or failure of a business venture."

I smiled and sipped my tea while Rafe snuffled and listened closely. She continued, "Neither is your value measured by the judgments of others. You see your true worth in the goodness of your heart, the resilience of your spirit, and the love you shower on those fortunate enough to be in your life."

Tears rolled down Rafe"s cheeks, and he edged forward to wrap his grandmother in a hug. He trembled as pent-up emotion left his body. Grandma Effie held him close, gently rubbing his back.

"It"s okay, my precious boy. Everyone is scared sometimes. You have to find the places where you can release the fear without judgment, and I bet you"ve found at least one refuge." She turned her head to smile at me. "I suspect this man is more than willing to support you in hard times."

When the tears stopped, Rafe slowly pulled back. His eyes were red, but he was at rest.

"Now, my dear…" Grandma Effie stood and walked to her kitchen. She told us, "Stay where you are. I have something special to share with you. I hope it can become a significant guiding light on your path forward in your new baking endeavor."

I watched as she pulled open a drawer and reverently pulled out a small, leather-bound book. Carrying it back to the living room, she presented it to Rafe.

"This, my darling, is a treasured family heirloom, but only you and I know about it. It"s your great-great-grandfather"s treasured recipe book. He was my grandfather, a master of the baking arts, learning his skills while serving as a soldier. I don"t know whether you knew that, but he put a piece of his heart and soul into everything that came out of his oven. I"ve held onto this little book, waiting for the right person to appropriately treasure it and care for it into the future."

Rafe"s hands trembled as he accepted the book. He traced the embossed lettering on the cover with his fingertips. "Grandma," he breathed. "I don"t know what to say. This… well, it"s priceless."

Grandma Effie clapped her hands, causing a bracelet to jingle. "Open it," she encourages. "Read the inscription on the first page."

Careful not to crumble any aged paper, Rafe opened the book. He read the words to himself at first and covered his mouth. When he looked up at his grandmother, she nodded.

"To my beloved grandson," he read. "May these recipes be the proof of the love that flows through generations in our family"s veins. They are a firm reminder of the ability of food to nourish both the body and the soul. May they give you the energy to pursue your dreams passionately. Each of these recipes shall be executed with love and care. Yours, Great-Grandpa Silas."

As Rafe looked up to lock eyes with his grandmother, I witnessed the passing of priceless information through generations of his family. He offered a gentle "Thank you" and then continued. "That seems entirely inadequate. There aren"t words to describe how precious this gift is to me."

She gently squeezed his hand. "You may express your gratitude by always living your life to the fullest, my dear." I heard the love in her voice. "Fearlessly follow your dreams and remember to put your heart and soul into your efforts. If you remain true to yourself and don"t forget the love that surrounds you, your closest friends and family will always be there to catch you if you stumble."

As the end of our trip drew close, we spent the last days soaking in the unique atmosphere of Key West. We visited the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum, exploring the lush, jungle-like gardens surrounding the house and mingling with the famous six-toed cats. We also took a sunset sail out on the saltwater, reveling in the wind in our hair and spray on our faces.

On our final full day, we strolled hand-in-hand along the beach in the late afternoon. The foamy surf rolled in, tickled our toes, and then retreated.

When the sun sank low on the horizon, we found a secluded spot where the soft sand encouraged us to rest. We sat together and moved close, seeking out the comfort of our bodies touching. Rafe rested his head on my shoulder while my fingers slowly ran through his hair, gently combing the silky strands.

"Rafe, do you remember the first time we met?" Visions of a jar of raspberry preserves wobbling on the edge of a shelf ran through my mind.

He laughed. "How could I forget? I thought your bump might send a whole shelf of jars tumbling into the floor. You were a one-man wrecking ball."

"Now, that"s a bit of an exaggeration." I kissed the top of his head. "Who would have guessed I was colliding with my future, the man who would change everything."

Rafe looked up into my eyes. "Theo, I don"t think I"ve ever properly thanked you… for everything you"ve done for me, providing me safe shelter and serving as my guiding light through difficult times."

I shook my head. "You don"t need to thank me. Loving you, supporting you, and standing by your side… none of that"s a choice. It"s as natural and necessary to me as breathing."