Chapter Fifteen

When the secret door opens it's after midnight but I'm still dressed in the jeans and T-shirt I wore earlier for our house meeting. We all had to pretend to be surprised when Shelby walked through the door even though she'd been sitting in the kitchen most of the night, making way too loud comments on everyone in the house.

Ah, the joys of "reality" TV.

He smiles as he enters, his tablet in one hand. The door snicks closed behind him, but I can't forget the fact that Hans is out there. We're not ever really alone. "Good evening, Anika. I can't tell you how happy I am to be done with this day. I've spent hours waiting for them to let me know filming was done."

"I'm going to leave in the morning." There's nothing else to do but tell him. Be blunt and confident in my decision. Leave no room for debate.

Even though the debate is raging inside me. I'm not confident. I don't know what I want, and that's what's truly killing me.

His handsome face falls and he sets the tablet down, moving into my space. "What's gone wrong, Schatz? They said you had a house meeting. Did it go poorly?"

He can't understand how poorly it went. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to them."

He seems surprised to hear those words. "You're not lying to anyone."

I've been thinking about this all night, guilt weighing me down. "They all think they have a chance with you."

"My darling, I had a frank discussion with Shelby this evening, and she understands that I'm focused on one woman and it's not her. She doesn't know who it is, but she knows I'm only keeping her around because the producers asked me to. She's under no illusions about her chances."

Wow. No wonder Shelby had been particularly nasty this evening, despite the fact that all she would say was her date had been phenomenal. "Luca, you're not supposed to do that."

He shrugs. "I don't care. I would rather be honest. We're making an entertaining show. That's what I've concluded. Very few of the women who came on the show honestly believe they can find true love here."

"Hannah does," I point out.

I kind of do, too, but I'm not saying that to him. I would have said no, that's some silly talk right there a few weeks ago, but the truth of the matter is I'm falling hard for a man I can't have for so many reasons. I'm anxious and feeling like crap because no matter what kind of show we're making, the truth of the matter is we're lying because he's already decided the outcome.

"Hannah is smarter than you think she is." Luca is watching me with patient eyes.

That bugs me, too. He's watching me like this is all some part of my performance and if he waits long enough we'll get to a better part of the script. "She's going to get hurt when she realizes you never seriously considered her."

"Who says I didn't?"

I stare at him.

He shrugs. "How will anyone know that you are the only woman I want? I'll tell you something, Anika. I'm not talking just about this group of women. How will anyone ever know that you're the only woman I've wanted to spend time with in a romantic fashion in over a year? It's not that I don't like women. I do. More than half my advisers are women."

I snort at that thought. "And they let you do this?"

A single shoulder shrugs. "They all thought this was a terrible idea. But that's not the point. I want you to understand. The person I spend the most time with from my family is my cousin, Ella, who you'll meet when we go to Ralavia for the final ceremony."

I shake my head but he continues on anyway.

"What I'm trying to say is I've felt numb inside since my parents died. I've been in a dark place, and it was meeting you that seems to be bringing me out of it. I'm not willing to let you go. Tell me what's gone wrong and I'll fix it."

He's getting to me. "I told you. I don't like lying."

"You're not lying," he assures me. "If anyone's lying it's me, and I'll take that sin on myself. You don't have anything to worry about. Let me pick you for the one-on-one date this weekend. I don't want to spend another long evening with one of the others."

He's dodging the issue, and I have to bring him back to it. "Tell me you haven't already thought about how this plays out."

"Of course I have. You can't tell me the other men and women who've been in my position didn't know who their final four were very early on," he insists. "It's obvious who we get along with and who we don't. I suspect they were influenced by the producers the same way I'm being influenced. Joe made a point before the date to ensure that I would be keeping Shelby, despite the fact that I see through her. She's quite lovely to me, but the minute my back is turned, her claws come out."

"She makes good TV," I say.

He points as though I've fallen right into his trap. "Yes, and that's what we're doing. Making good TV, and if they didn't understand that before, they do now. Even Hannah. Like I said, she's smarter and more savvy than anyone gives her credit for. She's a nice young woman, and she's going to be fine at the end of this. And so are we. We're going to be better than fine. We're going to figure out if this thing can work between us."

"I thought you already had us married off."

"In my head I do. In my head I know this can work, but I see you need more time," he replies. "I'll give it to you. All you have to do is stay with me. Go through the rest of this process with me and then I'll show you how wonderful life in my country can be."

There are so many things wrong about this situation, but I hold on to one. It feels like the one thing that might save me. "Luca, I have a job."

"You could have a different one," he counters. "Or you could work with production companies to bring them to our country. You know this industry. When you think about it, you're perfect."

That was the problem. "Yes, I get the feeling I'm convenient for you."

A brow arches over his eyes. "Convenient. I assure you there is not a thing convenient about my life in the last several years, so don't be surprised if I try to hold on to the one good thing that's happened to me."

Just like that my walls begin to shake. So I find the next problem. The one he can't solve. "You don't love me."

His jaw goes tight. "I don't know about that. I've been wondering lately if I even understand that word. I know I want you. I know I think about you all the time. Do you want me to say it? I can say the words."

I shake my head. "No. I want you to mean it." I'm getting emotional. Getting? I'm past emotional. I've been trapped in this mansion performing like a marionette doll, and I thought I could handle it. "You're never going to mean it."

He moves into my space, and his hands come up to cup my cheeks and tilt my head so I'm looking into his eyes. "Verlassmichnicht. I'll show you. I'll prove it to you."

Then his mouth is on mine, and I can't think straight. I can't think about anything but him.

I know I should push him away, but my arms aren't interested in listening to that bit of logic. They wrap around Luca's muscular form and he leans over, getting his hands on my hips as his tongue surges against mine. Just like that I'm ready to give him anything he wants. Any way he wants it. I've never felt this crazy rush of desire in my life. Sex has always been something nice, a pleasant side effect of being in a relationship, but this isn't nice. This is necessary. This is like breathing to me.

I cling to him as he lifts me up and moves us over to the bed I've been using. He lays me out, and I know I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to tell him this is a bad idea. I watch as he drags his shirt over his head and tosses it to the side. He kicks out of his shoes.

"Take off the clothes, Anika. If you like them, take them off now before I rip them off you," he says, a savage look in his eyes.

That look should scare me. His words should have me arguing, but I simply lift my hips and shove my jeans off as I watch him drop the sweats he's wearing and get down to his boxers.

He's a freaking Greek god. It's not like I haven't seen him in his swim trunks. We're on a reality dating show. He's put in his share of time in a hot tub, but this is different. Those hours spent in a hot tub were playful. This feels real to me. So real.

Cool air hits my skin as I pull the shirt over my head and toss it aside. I'm not wearing a bra but I'm not cold. My whole body feels like it's coming alive for the first time.

I'm down to my undies when he eases his big body on mine, his lips on mine again. He kisses me until I'm breathless, whispering something in German I don't quite understand but I feel the words across my skin.

"Ich habeschonewig auf dich gewartet." He kisses my neck and all along my shoulder, sending heat sparking through me.

I let go of everything but what he's making me feel. I know this can't work but I'm going to have this night with him. I'm going to have these memories of being with him.

I'm always careful, but he makes me reckless.

His big hand cups my breast, and I bite back a moan.

"You're so gorgeous," he says. "I think about you always, Schatz. Tell me you won't leave me."

Treasure. His treasure. "I won't."

I can't. I think this was my last-ditch effort to get out of what I know is a dangerous to my heart situation. If he'd argued or been cold, I could have packed up and left, but he's figured out how to keep me close.

By keeping me really close.

I let my fingers find the silk of his hair as he drags his tongue over my nipple before sucking it behind his lips. Desire shoots through me, and I can feel every tug of his mouth between my legs. I'm already warm and wet and ready for him, but he seems determined to torture me. He moves between my breasts, one hand sliding down my body and teasing at my core.

He kisses his way down, leaving my skin feeling like a live wire everywhere he touches. He gets on his knees, my legs on either side of his gorgeous body. His cock is barely contained by those boxers he's wearing and his hair—usually so controlled—tumbles over his forehead, making him look young and reckless.

"I told you, Anika." There's the sexiest smirk on his face as he reaches down and rips the delicate lace on either side of my underwear, pulling it clear and tossing it to the side.

I can buy more underwear. I won't ever forget how it feels to have this god of a man loom over me, desire plain on his face.

He spreads my legs wide and lowers himself down. "Yes, Schatz. This is where I've wanted to be since the moment I met you."

He lowers his mouth to my core, and I swear it takes everything I have not to scream out his name. He takes his time, teasing me with his mouth and teeth and tongue. Over and over he drowns me with pleasure, and I can't think of why I ever fought this feeling. This is where I want to be. Every minute of every day.

When he gets back on his knees and shoves his boxers down, I'm ready to welcome him. I want nothing more than to have this man inside me, binding us together in the most intimate of ways. He proves he's always prepared by opening a condom he's brought with him. How long has he been planning this? I know I've thought about it since the moment I met him.

Maybe it was inevitable that we would end up here. Maybe there's been nothing I can do to get out of this trap I find myself in. All I know is if this is a cage, I'll lock myself in as long as he's with me.

"This changes things between us, Anika," he says as he settles himself between my legs.

I wrap myself around him, loving how he presses me down, the weight of him making me feel delicate and sexy. I pull him close for a long kiss as he gently works his way inside me. It's not hard since I'm more than ready for him, but when he moves, my breath hitches, my whole body clenching around him.

He mutters something in German and settles into a rhythm that has me panting. He feels so good, so right. Like I was born to be in this exact space with this man. Like something has fallen blissfully into place.

Then I'm flying as he hits the right spot, and I can't think of anything but the insane amount of pleasure he's giving me. When he goes over the edge, I hold on as tight as I can.

I hold on because I never want this moment, this feeling, to end.

I hold on because if I lose him, I fear I'll miss this man for the rest of my life.