22

I know he tried to warn me ahead of time, that someone was going to upset me, and I thought I was prepared, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for India.

Just the thought of her name sets my blood to boiling. She was tall, and sophisticated, and classy, but ugh, WHAT A BITCH?!

The way she just talks about people like they're not even there.

And she seemed to want Roman. Do they have something going on? Of course they do! Look at him! Of course he'd have someone like that by his side. Someone of his caliber. He must have left me with Benny so I wouldn't embarrass him.

I'm drowning in negative thoughts in the back seat of the giant SUV. I can feel his eyes on me but why even bother? He has his hands full with that putrid woman. Why would he bother with me?

What if none of this is even real? What if in my weird pain induced situation, I hallucinated the whole thing? I mean, come on! Werewolves, soulmates, me not being human. Ha!

That's got to be it. I imagined the whole thing.

Then why can I still feel the tiny fissure in my heart when she reached for him just minutes after our moment on the roof.

It all felt so real. I can still feel his fur between my fingers. I can still feel the electricity that bounded through my body when he touched me. Held me. The healer. Miss Tilly. The guys.

I notice too late that I'm spiraling. It feels like there's a boulder on my chest, and I can't get a full breath.

"Leera, can I please come to the backseat with you to calm you down," Roman asks from his seat with worry all over his stupid gorgeous face.

I can't get enough air to speak, so I just shake my head remembering to keep my scowl in place. I'm mad at him. But none of that helps the panic settling deep into my body. The pressure on my chest continues to grow, I'm getting lightheaded, and the trembling is starting. Why do I have to be such a freak of nature? And I'm not even talking about being a freaking werewolf! I'm talking about this horrible affliction in my body. Why can't I control my own mind and body? Why does it take off on its own and render me unable to function? To think I took for granted my freedom before the crippling anxiety set in. How do I get back to that place?

I'm lost to the throes of anxiety when I hear his voice cut through the haze, "Baby please, I'm coming back there, I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I can't just sit here and watch you struggling like this," he says as he starts wedging and shoving his massive body between the two front seats, to get to me. It would be funny if I wasn't angry with him and in mid panic attack.

I try to scoot to the window to get away but by the time he's fully seated himself beside me, he takes up most of the entire back seat, leaving only enough space for me.

"Shhhh, it's okay," he coos as he scoops me back into his arms and damn my body for melting into him. I don't want comfort and electric pulses when I'm angry. "I'm so sorry she upset you and you had to see that, if you would just let me explain."

At the mention of her I finally find my voice and let it all out, "No Roman, I don't want you to explain. Don't you think it would have been important, before you started preaching soulmates, that you tell me you are already with someone?! Someone like that?! Someone who could not be further away from everything I am and will ever be?!"

I'm getting a little hysterical, but I don't care right now. "You spend the evening turning my entire world upside down, but you don't have a moment to tell me about her?! WAIT?! You said you already knew I was your soulmate, and you didn't break up with her?! What, were you waiting to see what I would say so you could keep her if I turned you down?!" We're pulling up in front of my dorm building now.

"You know what, Roman, just don't." He tries to hold me tighter and opens his mouth to speak before snapping it back shut. "I don't know how things work in the werewolf world, but I grew up in the human world," I'm shouting now as I throw the door open and begin climbing from the vehicle. "I don't want to talk to you right now. And if you think you can just tell me I'm your soulmate and that magically means I'm all yours with no work, you are dead wrong," I say, stepping back up to the car to jab my finger in his rock-hard chest. Focus, Leera.

"My parents might be gone now, but they taught me my worth. If you want me, you have to work for me and prove yourself. I will not be falling into your arms and immediately living happily ever after, like some kind of fairytale." With that, I slam the door and sprint to my dorm building without another look back.

The amount of life altering crazy shit that can happen in a matter of hours is just ridiculous.

As I sneak back into my dorm room and find Zoey and everything just as I left it. I feel like I was sucked into some kind of twilight zone. I mean I left here mere hours ago, in awe of a giant hockey god, just little ol' boring me. The weirdest thing about me was the color of my hair for fuck's sake.

I plug my phone in, turn it off, and change back into my silk jammies, realizing I'm not the same girl that climbed out of them.

I'd like to play stupid and pretend none of that ever happened but there's no use lying to myself. I can feel it all in the fiber of my being.

I am a werewolf . This is the first moment I've had to myself to really think about it all. The weird feelings. The magnetic pull to Roman. That strange growling I feel. There is another being within me. A strong and powerful wolf. I bet she's beautiful .

Can you hear me? I don't know how any of this works, but I thought I'd say hi, now that I know you exist. I don't even know if you can speak but I feel bad that you've been so neglected. You've been here my whole life, and I never knew. Um, I also want to apologize ahead of time, I have a bit of a tendency to ramble. Wait, do you know that? Have you been like buried deep within me? Or just under the skin trapped? Gosh this is a lot.

I wait for her to respond. For a minute I think I feel something, but nothing comes. I sigh and climb back into bed; I try to settle but my life has completely changed. I won't be able to avoid Roman and the guys for long. I have to learn how to be a werewolf. Are there rules? I'm so far out of my element.

Wait?! Sitting up so fast my head spins, "Were my parents werewolves?" I whisper out loud. Did they know I was a werewolf?

With too many thoughts and emotions swirling through my mind, I force myself to lie back down in bed, even if I'm not able to sleep, I know I need to rest. There's nothing I can do about anything right now but allow the tears to flow.

The dark sky begins to lighten when I'm finally pulled into a fitful sleep.