Chapter 4 Daddy’s Girl

Nico

After talking to Allie for a few minutes when we arrived, we settled into seats in the back of the funeral chapel. Alex's best friend gave the eulogy. Listening to some of the stories he told, I could see why he and Alex were close. He was a funny guy, even in a somber setting like this.

I could barely see the top of Allie's blonde curls as she leaned on her dad's shoulder. Her mom was a wreck, and the rest of the family didn't seem to be faring much better. I could hear Gracie start to fuss, then a tall, dark-haired woman stood and took her from Allie and quietly left the room with her. Poor kid. I was sure she was picking up on the sadness surrounding her.

The video was intense to watch. It was hard to see Alex, who had been such a strong, vital man, reduced to a shell of himself. My heart ached for him, as he talked about his hopes and regrets. I was shocked when I heard him mention me. I was deeply honored that he trusted me to be a part of Gracie's life, even if he was still busting my balls from the great beyond. He was such a smartass.

Man, the part about Gracie capturing his heart from her first breath to his last? That was love in its purest form, right there. The guy certainly had a way with words. He should have been a songwriter. That would make one hell of a lyric.

He started talking to Allie then. This must be breaking her apart inside. I can't even imagine her pain. "Know that when you miss me, I'm only a memory away." God, that was a powerful statement, too. I couldn't remember the last time I cried, but damned if that didn't bring a tear to my eye.

I felt Matt shift in his seat next to me, and I was pretty sure I heard a sniffle or two from the other guys. "I feel so bad for Allie," Matt whispered as he leaned close to me.

"I know. This has to be tearing her heart out. It's just about tearing mine out just listening to him," I replied softly.

After the funeral, none of us really felt like being social so we all headed our separate ways. As I walked into my house, I mentally debated what to do with the rest of my evening. Deciding I should probably get something to eat, I made my way to the kitchen to check out the contents of the fridge. I pulled out the take-out containers of leftover pizza, leftover stir-fry, and leftover enchiladas. International buffet, coming right up.

While the food was reheating, I grabbed a bottle of beer and pulled up a stool at the kitchen island. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my messages and emails to make sure I hadn't missed anything important since I'd had my phone turned off earlier.

There were half a dozen spam emails. Penis enlargement? Not necessary, thank you very fucking much. Meet single ladies in my area? Yeah, I've got that covered. Increase my stamina? Nope, don't need boner pills either. Extend my car's warranty? Nope. I don't need an insurance quote or new windows for my home either. After deleting those, I quickly responded to a message from my publicist declining an interview request. I can't fucking stand that particular "news" agency. Their publication isn't fit to line the bottom of a birdcage. The last email was a confirmation from the sound studio to confirm a rehearsal time for the day after tomorrow. I moved on to the text messages.

There were two texts inviting me to parties on Saturday, one text inviting me to a private party-for-two from a casual hookup I slept with now and then, and a reminder from my sister that our parents' thirtieth wedding anniversary was coming up next month. She was good at keeping track of shit like that. I deleted the first three texts without bothering to respond and pulled up my sister's contact to give her a call.

"Hi Nico, what's up?" she answered after two rings.

"Hey Becca, I got your text. Should we plan a party or some shit for the folks? I mean, thirty years together is quite the fucking accomplishment, right?"

She snorted out a laugh. "Yes, it is quite the fucking accomplishment indeed. Do you think Hallmark makes a card that says that?"

"If they don't, then they should. I don't know too many people who can put up with each other's bullshit for that long," I retorted with a chuckle. The timer went off, so I walked over to the oven to take my warmed-up buffet dinner out. I set the food on the counter to cool while I grabbed a plate and silverware.

"You're such a romantic, brother dear. How you can come up with the beautiful lyrics you write continues to amaze me."

"It's a gift, what can I say? I guess that's why they call me a Rock God", I joked.

"What???" she spluttered. "Who the hell calls you a Rock God?"

I smiled as I thought of Alex. As I plated up my food, I told her the story of Alex and the jam session in the hospital, and the nickname he came up with as a result. She had met Allie a few times, so she already knew about Alex's situation.

"I actually just got home from his funeral a little bit ago," I said, while picking my beer bottle up for another swig.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Nico. I'm sure that was rough. How is Allie holding up? Is there anything I can do to help her?" That's my sister, soft-hearted to her core.

"She's devastated, as you can imagine, but I think she'll be OK. She has to be strong for her daughter, you know?" I thought back to the video message Alex made.

"Alex actually made a video that was played at the service today, with messages for Gracie and Allie. I've never seen anything like it. He's just this normal everyday guy, dealing with the worst shit imaginable, coming out with the most hauntingly beautiful words of love for his wife and child to remember him by. It was incredible."

Becca was quiet for a moment, then I heard a sniffle come through the line. Yep, soft-hearted. "That sounds amazing. I can't even imagine how much that will mean to them to have that video as the years go by."

"Yeah," I said, clearing my throat. "There wasn't a dry eye in the house, including mine."

"Nico?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about your friend. I love you."

"Love you too, Sis." We hung up, and suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore.

I tossed the uneaten leftovers in the trash and grabbed another beer from the fridge. I headed out to the back deck and settled into the lounge chair, hoping the fresh air would help me relax and ease the tension I had felt all day.

As I finished my second beer, my mind drifted back Allie. I hoped she had family staying with her and the baby tonight. I hated to think of them in that house alone. I made a mental note to check in with her in the morning. I wasn't sure when she would return to work, but I wanted to make sure she knew I was here for her, and that I took Alex's request to look out for Gracie seriously.

I thought about his video again, and how powerful his final statements were. They kept running through my mind and started to form a familiar refrain, which tended to happen when my songwriting switch was flipped. I got up to grab my guitar from my bedroom, along with the notepad and pencil I keep on my bedside table. There had been too many times I'd awakened from a deep sleep with lyrics running through my mind, then couldn't remember them clearly in the morning. I always kept paper and pencil right next to the bed now.

I headed back out to the deck and settled on the lounger once again, leaning my guitar against the chair. Pad and pencil in hand, I began to write. Taking inspiration from Alex, I started to piece together the concept of a song about a father's never-ending love for his child. I scribbled furiously, my hand barely keeping up with the lyrics pouring out of my head.

Once I had my basic ideas on paper, I took a moment to collect my thoughts, then began again. I read over what I'd written, changed a word here and there in the chorus, marked out a line in the second verse, and added words to flesh out the bridge. As I read it aloud one more time, the words started forming a natural cadence as I spoke. I could hear the beginnings of the melody in my head, so I stuck the pencil behind my ear, set the notepad on the table beside me, and picked up my guitar.

Cradling it across my lap like a child, I tuned it idly, and began to pick out random chords while I hummed pieces of the melody under my breath. I grabbed my phone off the table and turned on the "record" feature. I continued to play around with the guitar until I felt like I had a good start on the melody for the chorus, stopping periodically to jot down the notes. After about an hour, I felt myself hitting a wall, getting frustrated trying to figure out what was missing.

I decided to call it a night and pick it up again tomorrow. Maybe I would bring it to practice and brainstorm the music with the rest of the guys. I wrote almost all of our song lyrics, but they did provide input on some of the music. If nothing else, I was usually inspired just by bouncing ideas off of them. I felt excited about this song. It was good. I wasn't sure if I would ever actually do anything with it though. I would never want to do anything to cause Allie pain. Maybe I would put it on the back burner once it was finished. Someday, when the time was right, I might approach her about it. Before I put the notepad back beside the bed, I added the song title..."Daddy's Girl".