Chapter 2 You Are My Sunshine

Nico

The guys and I purposely waited until the end of the visitation hours before slipping into the funeral home for Alex's service. We wanted to be there to support Allie, but we tended to attract attention wherever we went, and the last thing we wanted was to cause a scene here today.

Allie, or Sunshine as I usually called her, had worked for us for two years or so now. She had started as an assistant to our band's manager, Michael Drummond, shortly after she got married.

I remembered the morning I met Allie at his office. She was sweet, with a shy smile that charmed me. By the end of the day, her shyness had worn off and her smile was bigger and brighter as she quickly became comfortable around us. At the end of her first week, I'd had a day that devolved into a shit-show of epic proportions. We'd had equipment malfunctions in the studio, followed by the news that an "exclusive tell-all" interview was getting ready to hit the stands featuring some groupie I could barely remember who had given the tabloid reporter explicit details about our backstage sexcapades. Already irritated with the equipment issues in the studio, I had become livid when our publicist had called to give me a heads up about the interview.

Aside from my anger, I was embarrassed that such highly personal information had become tabloid fodder for the world to gossip over. After a meeting with the publicist as well as Michael, the latter of whom insisted I couldn't sue someone for telling the truth, I had been ready to explode. I had stormed out of the conference room, only to see Allie making a cup of tea in the breakroom across the hall. I'd ducked in there to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and had glanced at her as she brought the tea to her lips and took a small sip.

When I'd caught sight of the mug in her hands, Ihad boomed out a laugh. The mug had a cartoon sun on it, wearing sunglasses. It said "I squint at the sun because it's bright. I squint at my coworkers because they aren't." Since she and Michael were only a two-person office, I had laughed at the implication that he was an idiot. Because I was pissed that he wouldn't let me sue the groupie, the reporter, or the rag he worked for, I'd appreciated the implied insult even more. As she had watched me laugh, she'd smiled widely, and her eyes had twinkled.

"The mug amuses you?" she'd asked.

"Yes, and when I go back in there and squint at Michael it will be even funnier," I'd responded, feeling some of my tension ease.

"Well, I'm glad I could brighten your day a little bit," she'd said with a smile.

I had nodded, and replied, "That you did, Sunshine. Thank you."

The nickname had stuck, even after it became apparent that her sunny disposition was mostly a professional facade. The real Allie was an interesting mix of sweet girl-next-door and snarky take-no-shit badass, with a penchant for four-letter words, and a temper that would match my grandmother's thrown in for good measure.

Luckily, Allie's ire didn't last long, unlike my Nonna's. That tiny Italian terror of a woman could hold a grudge like it was an Olympic sport and she was going for gold. No, Allie's temper would flare, she would rant for a little while about whatever had pissed her off, and then be able to laugh about something else minutes later.

We had all met Alex several times since then. They seemed to be a perfect match. He was a nice guy, funny as hell, and he adored his wife. The last time I saw him before he got sick, was when Allie had the baby. I had stopped by the hospital with a huge stuffed unicorn wearing a princess crown (just to be clear, the unicorn was wearing the crown, not me), and a bouquet of sunflowers. I'd spent a few nerve-wracking minutes holding the baby — just long enough to forever lose a piece of my heart to Grace Elizabeth Donovan.

She looked like she was going to favor her mother, with the same delicate features and hair with a slight curl in the same shade of blond as Allie's. A few of their friends and family were visiting at the same time, and they were pretty star-struck when I'd arrived.

Alex had thought it was hilarious that I was getting more attention than the new baby they had all come to see and called me "Rock God" for the rest of the visit. After he got sick, I saw him in the hospital a couple of times. Once was only briefly, as I'd dropped Allie off after we finished at the studio and her car wouldn't start. The other visit was with the whole band. I'd brought my guitar, Matt had his drumsticks with him - as he always does - and we had an impromptu jam session out by the nurses' station so the whole floor could join in. Alex had addressed me as "Rock God" the whole time, the smartass. He'd sworn the nurses working his floor after that all seemed to be younger and more attractive than the ones before. Allie had just rolled her eyes at him and laughed, telling him it was wishful thinking on his part.

I glanced around the packed room, taking note of the large group of people who had come to pay their respects. I hated that she was going through this. Of all people, Allie deserved to be happy. She was one of the most loving and genuinely caring people I had ever met. I've heard the phrase "beautiful inside and out" but never truly understood it until Allie. She was a beautiful soul wrapped up in a 5'4" package of gorgeous curves, blonde hair, and green eyes that reflected her every emotion.

Since Alex's diagnosis, she had worked herself into the ground trying to take care of both Alex and their sweet baby girl, as well as trying to fit in as many hours as she could working for us. She'd had family helping out, but it was a lot to take on. I was sure she was worried about money, so she refused to take much time off.

I'd overheard her on the phone with the insurance company one day when I took a quick break at the recording studio. We'd been trying to put the finishing touches on our album to get it ready by the projected release date. I could tell she was upset and angry, so I stopped to make sure everything was OK. From her end of the conversation, it appeared that those fuckers weren't willing to cover as much on the medical bills or home health care as they should have. Greedy bastards. It was clear that she was torn between needing to be home more to help Alex and working to pay their bills. So, I had pulled Michael aside and told him to hire a temp to help out with our administrative needs, and we would fend for ourselves on the personal errands and shit she does for us.

Between the four of us and Michael, we covered her salary. She'd tried to refuse, but we had insisted. She'd finally agreed because she'd known it was the best for her family. They needed her, we could make that happen. End of story.

She will never know it, but I'd also arranged with the hospital to cover any outstanding medical bills. I had worked hard and had some incredibly lucky breaks in this business, and I'd been blessed with more money than I would ever spend in a lifetime. There was no way I could stand by and watch her and Gracie struggle with that kind of financial burden. I knew Alex had some kind of life insurance policy, but that should go toward Gracie's college or something, not to pay off fucking medical bills they shouldn't have even had in the first place. Shit. It pissed me off just thinking about it. Cancer sucked. So did insurance companies.

As we waited for Allie to finish speaking to the couple in front of us in the visitation line, I saw an older woman I didn't recognize on the side closest to me, and Allie's parents standing next to her on the other side. I had met Steve and Colleen Kettering once, at the hospital the night Gracie was born. Steve was quiet and laid-back, and Colleen was a lot like her daughter, in looks and personality. The line moved forward, and I introduced myself to the older woman standing next to Allie, who was apparently Alex's aunt. If I recalled correctly, his parents were dead, and he had no siblings. Aunt Ellen, as I was instructed to call her, seemed a bit stunned when she recognized me. She quickly recovered and thanked me for being so supportive of Allie.

"Of course," I assured her quietly. "Allie is important to all of us, and Alex was a great guy. We know how much she'll miss him, and we'll be there for whatever she and Gracie need." She teared up and her chin wobbled a bit as she tried to keep her composure. I gave her hand a light squeeze, then looked over to see Allie gazing up at me.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm so sorry, Allie," I said, feeling at a loss for words. I'm a songwriter, for Christ's sake, you'd think I could come up with something more eloquent to say than that. But in that moment, I doubted there was anything anyone could say that would ease her pain.

Allie, understandably, looked like hell. She was pale, with dark circles under her dull eyes, with a tightly controlled, pinched expression on her face. Her face was normally so expressive, and her eyes used to sparkle with sass and barely concealed laughter. I hated seeing her like this, in such pain. She'd obviously not been sleeping well. I had noticed when I saw her a few weeks ago that she had lost even more weight, so she was clearly not eating right either. I realized how much I'd missed seeing her smile. I hadn't called her by her nickname lately. It seemed insensitive in light of everything going on. I could only hope that we could get her to smile again soon.