Chapter 28

Helga

"Good morning," I hear a woman say from across the room. She stands up as I sit up. She has brown skin and grey eyes. She's definitely human.

"Was I dreaming?"

"I don't know. You were asleep."

Looking around, I don't recognize where I am at all. "Where am I?"

"You're on the Alliance Force base. We're on the moon." She begins running a light over me. "It's just a scanner to make sure you're okay."

"I feel…" I begin and then remember what happened with the whip and the marriage ceremony. "I feel angry. Where's Fox?"

"In the command center, I hope. I don't know if this will lessen your anger but you've been completely healed from your wounds. The junior doctor on the Des wanted to lessen your fury but Fox refused to allow him to do it. That's why you were only physically healed."

My rage subsides a little when I hear this. "Well, at least that's something," I reply. "That he allowed me to continue to be angry at him for what happened. He didn't tell me about the High Priestess. He didn't tell me about a lot of things."

"I've known the Commander for decades. Let me assure you he didn't neglect to tell you to hurt you. He didn't tell you because he probably didn't think it was that big of an issue. He's been protecting humanity for a long time, but he doesn't know very much about humanity, if you see what I mean?"

I nod. "And who are you? His second in command?"

"My name is Caroline Anderson. I'm the nurse, and I was the first human here."

She seems like she's trying to be friendly, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something underlying her words. "I'm Helga Wagner, as you probably already know."

"Yes. The wife of Commander Fox. And there's already work for you to attend to in your new role, if you feel well enough."

I can't tell if she is baiting me or not. "I feel fine."

She hands me a tablet, and at first I can't read it, it's all alien hieroglyphics, but then my translator kicks in and it turns into German. I begin reading through a message written to me from someone called Officer Sem. My analytical mind thrusts into gear, and I swing a leg out from under the blanket only to realize I'm naked.

"Do you have any clothing I could borrow?"

"I'm afraid there are only two things Commander Fox left for you to wear." She shows me the black dress and my dirndl uniform.

"Seriously?"

"I have some other clothing, but it'll take me some time to find something that'll fit and is more appropriate. But I do have a lot of formal wear if you want to work in sequence, silk, or lace?"

"Thank you. I'll stick with one of these. And thank you for the dress I was married in. It did make a difference to me."

Finally, I see the nurse relax a bit. "I'm glad. I always say to the men, just because it doesn't matter to you doesn't mean it doesn't matter to anyone else."

As I get out from underneath the sheet and take the black dress, she adds, "If you give me your address on Earth, I can have all your clothing and personal items discreetly brought up to the base. I would've done it already, but I couldn't find an address for you."

"I put my things into storage and was living with a friend," I say as I swing around the voluptuous black material of the dress. "I can't wear this. It's just so…" I pull it back over my head and reach for my dirndl. At least I know this fits. I put it on, grateful for the corset top as I don't have a bra, and then ask, "Shoes?"

Caroline brings out Anna's wooden clogs. I take them with the socks still inside and reflect that these old human shoes have ironically been all over the galaxy now. Some of the first shoes humans invented still being worn on spaceships. "These are Anna's, but they'll still do. When I was taken, I was inside my friend's house." It's clear that means nothing to Caroline. "In Germany, we don't wear our shoes inside."

"Oh," she says. "Well let me know where your things are. In the meantime, I'll see what I can find you and put them in Commander Fox's, I mean, your , quarters."

"Thank you." Once I'm dressed and have run my fingers through my hair and put it up with a clip from Caroline, I ask, "Can I keep this?" referring to the tablet.

"Of course."

"Also how do I find Officer Sem?"

Caroline shows me out of the medical center and explains how to work the base's internal mapping system. She says to the panel outside the medical center, "Officer Sem." Immediately a blinking green dot lights up. Then she says, "Follow it." And a direct line illuminates for me to follow along the wall. "You can also do this for your quarters. It works for all human languages and Alliance, of course."

The last sentence catches me off guard. "Not everything works for human languages?"

"No. I'm guessing you had some issues on the Des ?"

"Yes. None of the voice commands would work for me, but no one told me it was because I was speaking German."

"Don't take it personally. People forget things that exist ‘as normal' in their everyday lives. The Des is a military-grade ship. It's an internal defense against an enemy force boarding and taking it over."

"Surely that can be overridden."

"Not as easily as you think when the computer won't answer your commands unless it's in unaccented Alliance," Caroline says.

I thank Caroline and follow the line of the wall's illumination. On my way to find Officer Sem, I pass officers with grey skin and black uniforms. They politely avoid looking at me, which is fine because I don't know who they are and they obviously don't know who I am, and I'm wearing a freaking dirndl with wooden shoes on a spaceship. I should just be happy they didn't ask me to bring them some beer and pretzels.

The illuminated light I've been following stops in front of a room, and I peer in through a small window. A few men are there, all grey-skinned and dressed in black. I don't recognize any of them. I look at the wall and it's for sure the illumination ends here.

I look through the little window again. I try to read the necklaces the men are wearing. I know from Fox that at least one of them always has a name on them. But these men have too many necklaces, and I can't see their names.

I take a deep breath and remind myself that this is what I wanted to do. That Fox offered me this as part of the deal for marrying him. I didn't expect to be put to work so soon, but he did say they needed a lot of help. And I assume he's really busy working, so why shouldn't I just jump right in too? This is what I signed up for.

I stand in front of the door and ring the notification so the people inside know I'm here. I hear the computer announce my name from the other side of the door. That's different from the Des , I think. And not only that, I have a new title: Consort to the Commander. This takes me aback, and so I'm momentarily stunned when I walk in and the men are bowing to me. I don't know what to say. It takes me a second to steady myself. "Officer Sem?" I say more firmly than a question, while eyeing all the men.

"I am he," the largest and youngest of the men says. Then he introduces the other officers. "We were just discussing possible options we could offer the stateless humans born in the galaxy to join our cause. Please join us."

He indicates a seat and I sit down. Once I'm seated, I see that there are all kinds of virtual screens open on the table that were invisible when I was standing. I see documents and pictures.

"If you want to look at something more closely, touch it," Sem says and demonstrates how to do it.

I'm like a child discovering a new toy. I reach out my finger and touch a picture of a human man near me. The document presents itself in front of me and information streams past at the perfect speed for reading. "That's amazing," I say. And suddenly any doubts I had about marrying Fox and taking him up on his offer disappear. This is just the beginning , I think.

The human man's profile I chose to enhance—I find out quickly that's the term to use—is one-quarter Alliance. However, I can't figure out why he's not allowed back on Earth.

"He's never lived on Earth. His grandmother was born out of an unequal relationship between an abducted human and an Alliance man. His mother was born in captivity but then was freed or escaped. We don't have any records for him, and like many humans in his position, he refuses to share his family tree's narrative."

"Is that because he fears being criminalized if his mother escaped illegally?"

"Possibly, although the laws are in his favor now."

I'm trying to wrap my head around this. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to read up on all your laws regarding this, so I have to continue to ask questions. My concern in offering him and others like him a place here, is that they would leave. What would hold them to this mission and convince them to trust Alliance Force given the history between Alliance people and humanity? Particularly these stateless humans." I leave off saying, ‘Who have been so hard done by by the Empire.'

It's clear the men hadn't considered this. Like Fox, no doubt, they believe in this mission down to their cores. I'm so glad I was able to spend that time with Anna or else this meeting would have gone very differently.

"We offer them stability," one of the men says.

"People think they want stability in life, but actually, most people crave uncertainty, especially if they've lived that way most of their lives. Stability might only end in unrest within your ranks."

"Consort to the Commander, I beg to differ, we don't crave uncertainty," Sem says.

I take a few seconds to decide how to handle this. Then I reply as I would to anyone—with my honest opinion, "By believing in religion and an Afterlife, you create uncertainty. I would also say the Empire's lack of a justice system, especially between men, creates a lot of ambiguity. At any time, you can be challenged to a duel to the death, as I understand it."

I can see I've struck something with all the men at the table, so I stop while I'm ahead.

"I see," Sem says after a few seconds. "How do we give them an offer that creates a comfortable uncertainty so these men will remain loyal to the Alliance Force?"

"I don't know yet." I scroll through another couple biographies. They're all similar. Part-human, part-Alliance. I think about the woman on the ship that took me to the slave market, and I have pity for her. "I need to talk to these people. This," I point to the documents, "isn't enough for me to understand."

"It's dangerous for you," one of the officers says. "They already sold you to a trader on Gala once."

I wave my hand dismissively. "They were doing it to get back at Fox. I wasn't horribly mistreated, and they returned my friend." Ella. Oh, I'm such a bad friend , I think. I immediately change the subject. "Is there any way I can contact my friend on Earth?"

Sem assures me, "She is fine. She thinks you're on a vacation with Fox and reception is bad. I will show you how to contact her after this meeting if you want."

"Thank you."

"Still, there's nothing to guarantee they wouldn't try it again. These aren't the most trustworthy people," another man says, bringing our conversation back to these galactic stateless half-human, half-Alliance people looking for a home.

"You can't have it both ways," I say. "These are either trustworthy individuals who, for the most part, you believe are worthy of serving in the Alliance Force, or they are not, and you shouldn't waste your time with them."

Again, I can tell the men are shocked by my stark appraisal, but we'll get nowhere if we begin with everything being grey. And as soon as I think that, I have to suppress a smile because all the men at the table have grey faces.

"I believe they are worthy, most of them, but have lived in the darkness," Sem says.

"I don't know what that means, ‘lived in the darkness," I say.

Sem explains, "They've lived in their own small communities on the fringes of civilizations but never belonged. They don't know how to put others first for the sake of the community."

Okay, now we are getting somewhere , I think. "So what do you think they are missing the most, compared to other officers coming from the Empire, which gives someone this feeling of putting others first for the good of the group?" I ask, but I'm not at all convinced these stateless people don't sacrifice for each other. I think these Alliance Force officers, as well-meaning as they are, are biased.

"Fear of the goddesses."

"You can't teach that," I say. "What else?"

"Admiration of rank and predictability."

"Very few will find that attractive presented in that package. What about violence? There's structured violence and sex, right?" I'm assuming the latter based on the marriage ceremony I just had to endure.

"We don't want them challenging everyone to a duel or overusing their bed functions. We were thinking to limit those."

What the hell are bed functions? I wonder and decide that's something to ask Fox later. Then I say, "I wouldn't limit anything. I'd allow them the same rights to sex and duels. I'd encourage them to embrace these aspects of Alliance culture, and then that might lead them to the admiration of rank and order."

The men think about this silently. I wait. I've never known men to be so thoughtful and quiet. I wonder if this is an Alliance thing or particular to these men. After more than a few minutes, Sem says thoughtfully, "This is a lot to think about. Perhaps it's best if we meet tomorrow at the same time. Consort, I'll forward you all the documents I believe are relevant. And if there's anything else, please do not hesitate to ask. May we all walk in the goddesses' light."

Everyone but me replies, "May they show us the way."

I sadly catch on and say it a second after everyone else, but better late than never. Then Sem says to me privately, "I'll show you how to contact your friend now."

I follow the large man out of the room and into another smaller room with just one desk. He has me sit down and another computer appears. Then he shows me how to connect to the Earth's network.

"Please remember to tell her you are on vacation with Fox and you have a bad connection. Later I'll go over with you how to maintain your contacts on Earth without disclosing our existence. Do you know her phone number?"

"I have no idea what her phone number is. Can I connect to her via social media?"

Sem shows me how to do that, and of course we are hit with a two-step verification. "I don't have my phone."

"Actually, Fox has your phone. He went to Ella's apartment and found it. But don't worry, I can override the two-step verification. These things are so annoying."

"I'm glad you think so too."

"Ridiculous to tie an account to a changeable mobile phone number and not an eye scan or at least a fingerprint. But it makes it easier to spy on people and they're willingly entering all kinds of personal information themselves, so it seems legal."

I let that last comment go and file it away as something to talk about later. These Alliance Force officers must know a lot about how Earth is run behind the scenes. From the little I saw while I was working in Berlin, it's clear that what politicians say and do are two completely different actions.

Sem logs me into my social media and I'm excited when I see Ella's familiar face. I'm so relieved she's alive.

The first thing she says to me is, "Why are you wearing your uniform on holiday?"

I look down. Shoot. Why am I wearing this? "Fox has a kink for it," I say and it's no lie. Then change the subject. "How are you?"

Ella tells me everything that's been going on in her life, and it all sounds completely normal. I'm both happy for her and a little sad. I want to share with her all the things that have happened to me, but I can't tell her anything. I can't even tell her Fox is really an alien. I'm assuming when they wiped her memory, they wiped that conversation as well as the memory of her seeing Fox and Axl appear out of nowhere.

When she asks me how my holiday is going, I can tell her one thing that's true and not breaking any rules, "Fox and I eloped!"

She begins asking me all kinds of questions, and I tell her about the dress I wore and that we just found witnesses and tell her I didn't know any of them. I hate to lie to her, but I must. Then she asks when I will move back to Germany.

"I think I'm going to move to Norway. It's closer to the base where Fox has to work."

"You don't mean Svalbard, do you? That's the middle of nowhere."

"Well," I say, not knowing what more to say to sound believable.

"You can't even have a baby there."

"We'll work it out."

"When am I going to see you again?" she asks. This question breaks my heart because I don't know and already I feel a loss not being able to tell her what's happened. But I remind myself it's for her own good. She'll only worry about me otherwise.

"Soon. I'll come and collect my things, and we can catch up properly. Say… in a week? We're trying to sort out visas and everything now. Can I let you know?"

"Yes, of course. Take care and please don't move to Svalbard. It's too far. Kisses."

I close the call and feel sick. What have I done?

Sem breaks my melancholy. "Is there anyone else you'd like to contact now, or should I take you to your quarters?"

"Does Fox know I'm awake?"

"He knows, and he also knows you went directly to help me, for which he's grateful. He's with an official diplomatic envoy now, otherwise I know he'd be with you. He's going to join you for the evening meal. In your quarters you'll find information about your new position and the people on the base."

I don't know how I should feel about this. "Is Fox always this busy?" Too busy for his new wife? I only think the last part.

Sem struggles to answer my question. "Things aren't busy right now so much as they are precarious. If you understand my meaning?"

"I think so," I lie. It doesn't make any sense to me, but I don't want to think about it too much or else I might make myself depressed by reading too much into the situation. It could be none of this has anything to do with me. I'm just going to pretend to be okay with Fox not being around when I woke up because he did go across the galaxy to save me and marry me. "Please take me to my quarters."