12. Carrie

12

CARRIE

I clasp the coffee mug in my hand as Gus parks my rental next to the cabin. Joyce knocked on my door early this morning to tell me it was ready.

I’ve got my suitcase packed, and I’ve punched the airport’s address into my GPS.

My flight isn’t for two more days, and I hesitated over changing it. After what happened yesterday and how good it felt to have Cole inside me, I wouldn’t mind sticking around to do it again. But Cole was a little off when we came back. He didn’t speak much and didn’t seem interested in repeating what we did, which makes me wonder if I did something wrong.

A memory of his face contorted in pleasure slips into my mind, making me smile. I’m pretty sure he enjoyed it. Maybe it’s because I was so insistent that it was a one-time only deal. But I didn’t mean one time, one time. I meant one time as in for the time that we have here together .

I take my coffee mug inside and wash it up. I baked a batch of cupcakes this morning for Joyce. Even though she tricked me to get me here, she did pay for the airfare, and she won’t accept any payment for the accommodation. Besides, it’s been nice to have a break.

The baking dishes are drying on the rack, and I put them away. A giggle makes me raise my head thinking it’s one of the girls. But it’s Joyce. She leans against my rental with her head tilted back, laughing at something Gus has said.

Is she flirting with him?

Gus smiles broadly back at her and chuckles, making his round belly dance up and down.

No wonder Joyce was so insistent on sorting out the car repairs for me. I smile to myself despite the foreboding in the pit of my stomach that I haven’t seen Cole yet. At least someone here is getting their love story.

Earlier I watched Cole take the girls to school and then come back. He didn’t even glance in my direction. He told me yesterday he was back on shift for the rest of the week, doing the mid-shift from midday until eight. Joyce will pick the girls up from school for him.

I thought he would come over this morning to say goodbye. But his door remains firmly closed.

I do a final check of the cabin for any of my belongings, then wheel my suitcase out of the front door. Gus takes it from me and swings it into the back seat.

As he leans over to slide it into place, Joyce gives his backside an eyeful .

Suppressing a smile, I glance back to Cole’s cabin, but it’s still quiet.

Joyce follow my gaze and frowns. “Are you sure you won’t stay a little longer?” she asks. “Just because the car’s fixed doesn’t mean you have to go.”

I bite my lower lip, because I was thinking the same thing. But if Cole doesn’t want me around, then I’m not going to stay.

I open my mouth to speak when the door to his cabin bangs open. We all glance over as Cole strides out of the house. He’s wearing bright orange search and rescue overalls and carrying a day pack. His broad shoulders fill out the overalls, and my breath hitches in my throat.

Cole glances over at the little group gathered around my Jeep and frowns. My heart sinks. He hasn’t come out to see me. He’s on his way to work.

He slings the backpack into his pickup and then strides over.

“All fixed?” Cole speaks to Gus and doesn’t glance in my direction.

“It was a missing spark plug. Strangest thing to fall out like that. But we’ve got a replacement, and she’s running good as new.”

Joyce puts a hand on Gus’s arm. “You got time for a coffee before I drop you back in town?” She pulls him away, his bewildered expression not catching up with Joyce’s none too subtle attempt to leave me and Cole alone.

Cole kicks the gravel down at his feet, staring at it as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world .

“I’m leaving.” My voice comes out as a croak, and I clear my throat.

For the first time Cole’s gaze shoots up to mine, and there’s a look of misery before he composes it into a blank expression.

“Did you manage to change your flight okay?”

“I haven’t changed it yet…” I leave the rest unsaid. This is his chance to jump in, to ask me to stay a few more days. But he doesn’t.

“Drive safe. These roads can be treacherous.”

It’s an impersonal thing to say, and a rush of tears sting my eyes. I turn away, not wanting him to see, and blink rapidly. I will not cry in front of him.

“Carrie.” His hand comes down on my shoulder, and when I turn around his expression is soft. “Are you okay?”

It’s my turn to look down at my feet. I practically begged him to have sex with me, and now I can’t handle that that’s all he wanted. Maybe he’s right. I should have waited for someone who actually cares.

“Yeah.” I swipe furiously at my eyes. “Just, allergies.”

He snort-laughs like he knows I’m lying. “Hey, if it’s about what happened yesterday…”

“It’s not.” I cut him off, because the last thing I want is for him to say I told you so.

I risk a glance up at him and there’s pain in his eyes that matches my own.

“Yesterday was incredible. You’re…” He runs his hands through his hair. “I’m not good for you, Carrie. You deserve someone better than me. ”

I stare at him dumbly as anger flares inside me. He doesn’t need to dress this up to be more than it was. I begged him to have sex with me. He doesn’t need to act like I’m in love with him or something.

“You’re right.” Any trace of tears recedes, and I stand taller and put my hands on my hips. “Thank you for the adventure. It was just what I needed. But you’re right. I deserve a man who actually wants to fall in love. Who’s got the balls to risk his heart and open his life to me. I deserve a man who’s willing to at least try.”

His mouth drops open, and I don’t stick around to hear his response. I pull open the driver’s door and slide into the front seat.

“Thanks for a fun few days.” I give him my best smile that I don’t feel and start the engine. He doesn’t try to stop me as I pull away down the gravel drive and away from the grumpy asshole who wormed his way into my heart.