Chapter 5

I am lying here listening to him talk and say most of the things I have been wanting to hear. I know a little of anything won”t be enough to satisfy me. I want to be brave enough to go for it, strong enough to risk it all, but what do I have at the end if it doesn’t work out? A baby and losing my best friend, my confidante, my emotional support, my everything. Sound familiar?

On the other hand, I have a baby in my belly. A baby whose father happens to be the love of my life, not that I have ever said it out loud; nonetheless, this baby deserves a chance. A chance to have both parents be there for one another, in love, trying to make a go of it. I won’t be my mother, however. I won’t settle for no fighting and all smiles. The fighting is how you know both of you are still in it. The fight is what keeps it real and fresh. I want it all.

I have to stop myself from putting my hand on my stomach as I think about his proposition and the child we made. I would do anything for this baby, including putting my heart and friendship on the line to give it the family it deserves. With that in mind, I take a deep breath and answer him.

“Alright, Logan. Let’s do this. Let’s give it a shot.” He smiles. With both of his hands on my face, he looks me in my eyes and kisses me. I close them and place my hands on top of his, just feeling his skin and trying to remember this moment. The moment when I chose to follow my heart.

His lips touch mine so sweetly, softly, as if he is unsure if I would reciprocate, but I do. I want to. There is no urgent passion and no erotic actions. We are sealing our commitment to making an effort. He pulls back and places his forehead on mine. My eyes are still closed because I want to remember this moment.

“Open your eyes, baby.” His calling me baby sends goosebumps up my arms. I open my eyes at his insistence, and he looks back at me. “You have made me the happiest man. The happiest.” His words make me smile and a tear forms. He looks at it and wipes it with his thumb. “I promise you won’t regret this, May.” I don’t say it, but I am praying I don’t.

We spend another few minutes talking mostly about our day and anything interesting that may have happened. When he leaves my room, I am so glad that tonight, at least, I am alone in a room because I need some time to dissect this mess.

Sighing, I take off my clothes. standing in front of the mirror, I turn to the side and rub my hands over my stomach. There is no bump per se. But there is a subtle difference, and I can notice it, especially when I am trying to put on my favorite jeans.

All dressed and ready for bed, I lay down on my back and pick up my phone. I have to talk to someone about this. Considering I really have friends and have a problem trusting anyone, I call my sisters.

“Maybug, what’s up?” April chimes while we wait on the others.

“Nothing, just need to talk.” She gives me a knowing look.

“Sisters. Hey!”

“Hi January.” We sing in chorus.

“Aunties.” Junie’s face pops up on screen, and we all squeal at our beautiful niece. “Young lady, give me back my phone,” March says before giving her the ‘look.’

“Hey. She wanted to be a part of the group,” I say, frowning at her.

“Yeah, well, when this little miss cleans her room, she can be a part of anything she wants.” Well, can”t argue with that. “So February won”t be able to make it.”

“Oh no. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. She was scurried away on a surprise vacation.” March says, shaking her hips. We all giggle, and then everyone gets serious.

“So, May, want to tell us what is going on?” Oh boy. Where do I begin?

* * *

I am nervous, and there is no reason why. We are just on our way to see the next guy on the list, and as funny as it sounds, the more I think about it, the more I know it is not him, and it won’t be the next guy. Something in one is telling me I know who it is. We all do, but none of us are willing to believe it.

‘“Are you ready, babe?” I look at Logan, who is behind the wheel, and nod my head.

“Yes. I am ready.”” He gets out and opens the door for me. He places his hands with mine, and I look down at our entwined fingers and squeeze his back.

We spent about five minutes in Mr. Pitts”s presence before we left. That man was deranged. “So, what do we do now?” he asks. I shrug my shoulders and look up at the sky. “Game night?” I move my head down and smile at him.

“That sounds great. Monopoly or Phase 10?”

“That”s a no brainer. Monopoly.” Some things never change.