Chapter Forty-Five

Tessa

I let out a whimper of loss when Ben rises from the bed. He disposes of the condom in the wastebasket, and then he returns, looking me up and down with wide eyes.

“My God,” he says, rejoining me on the bed. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re the most magnificent man I’ve ever seen.”

He rubs his cheeks against my breasts, the stubble making me tingle. “I’m going to suck on these tits, Tessa. Then I’m going to suck on that sweet pussy until you come so hard you’re going to beg me to stop.”

His words ignite me with more passion. “Please…” I beg.

He kisses my mouth first—a deep and passionate kiss with the same urgency as before, yet it’s slower and softer this time. Our mouths stay together for moments upon moments as I undulate beneath his hard body, arch my back, and lift my hips, searching, searching, searching…

When he breaks the kiss, I’m both saddened and gladdened. I miss his lips on mine, but I want his mouth other places.

In fact, the power of the ache I feel for him frightens me a little.

But I move past it—pretend I’m in the cold plunge where my mind is a blank.

I don’t want past experiences tainting what Ben is about to do to me, and I won’t let them.

He squeezes my breasts, stares at them for a few moments, tugs on my nipples. I writhe against him, letting the feelings possess me, shield me from what haunts me still.

This moment is all that matters.

When his lips clamp around one nipple, I moan at the feeling that courses through me. The want, the need, the sheer yearning. No one has touched me with such a combination of rawness and gentleness as Ben does.

He sucks on one nipple while toying with the other with his deft fingers, tugging and twisting gently at first, and then not so gently.

“Yes…” I say on a sigh.

“So beautiful,” he says against my nipple. “So perfect.”

When he drops the nipple from his lips, I let out a whimper. He meets my gaze. “You have the most succulent nipples I’ve ever tasted, Tessa.”

I close my eyes, arch my back.

“Oh, no,” he says. “You keep those eyes open. I want you to watch me devour this pussy of yours. I’m going to eat you raw, Tessa. I’m going to eat you until you don’t know your own name.”

He trails kisses down my abdomen and then spreads my legs.

He closes his eyes and inhales.

“My God, you smell good. Like a ripe peach. Will you taste as sweet?”

I can’t wait for you to find out. But the words come out only as a soft sigh.

He opens his eyes. “You’re so beautiful. So plump and swollen and wet for me.”

He parts my legs farther and slides his tongue over my slit.

“Ah!” I cry out.

He stops, looking up at me, his chin glistening.

“It’s okay,” I say. “Please, Ben. Stop second-guessing yourself. Stop second-guessing me. I want this.”

He smiles slyly and dives back into me. He nibbles on my clit for a few seconds and then slides his tongue into my pussy.

I arch my back, bend my legs until my feet are flat on the comfy bed so I can grind against his stubbled face. It’s a good burn.

He feasts on me, and with each slide of his tongue, each nibble of his lips, I glide closer, closer, closer…

Until—

“My God, Ben!”

He thrusts a finger into my pussy, and I catapult over the cliff and soar over a gorgeous blue sea of ecstasy.

The climax caresses me like a hug while also shattering me as if I’ve been struck by a lightning bolt.

“That’s it,” his voice says from somewhere inside my bubble. “You come, Tessa. You come for me. Only for me.”

My walls contract around his finger as he moves it with deft precision inside me, over and around and finding that perfect spot that sends me reeling once more.

“Have you had enough yet?” he asks against my flesh.

But I can’t form the words to answer him, and he continues, jolting me into yet a third orgasm.

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a third before.

I’m not even sure of my own name at this point.

I’m lost.

Lost in an ocean of paradise.

All thoughts cease… Only pleasure… Rapture… Euphoria…

And the perfection of what I’m feeling.

When I come down, Ben eases his finger from me, climbs up my body, and kisses me, our flavors mingling on our tongues.

I sigh.

Still perfection.

…

Several months earlier…

“Ugh,” Skye says to me. “Why do I even try?”

“Because it’s good for you.” I pull my body upward from my perfect downward dog.

Skye and I are doing okay. I’ve been a bitch about her and Braden, but after that incident with the ecstasy, I’m feeling better about everything. I hate drugs. I always said I’d never try them.

And I never will again. Not ever.

Skye sighs. “I do love yoga, and yeah, it helps with stress and all that, but the fucking downward dog!”

“It’s tough for some people.”

“That’s what you always say.”

I give her a playful punch on her shoulder. “And I’m still right.”

Skye laughs. We’re both panting and sweating after a hot yoga class.

She grabs a towel and wraps it around her neck. “I need a shower.”

“See you in the steam room,” I say.

Skye nods and heads toward the locker room. I take a long drink from my water bottle and then grab a clean towel to sponge off my face.

“Hi, Tessa.”

I jerk.

It can’t be.

Garrett? At a yoga studio?

No way.

And of course he looks like a god in his muscle shirt and shorts.

“I assume you’re not here for yoga,” I say.

“I was watching the class from outside the room,” he says.

“Stalking?” I can’t help saying. Since I left him at his house with Lolita, he’s been calling and leaving messages, which I’ve been ignoring.

“No.” His gaze darkens. “Waiting for you. I know you and Skye always do yoga here on Saturdays. You told me, remember?”

“I remember a lot of things,” I mumble.

He reaches toward me. “Tessa…”

I slap his hand away. “What do you want, Garrett?”

He breathes in. “God, it’s hot in here.”

“We just had a hot yoga class. It’s supposed to be hot.” I walk out of the studio, and he follows me. “What is it?” I ask again.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry and that I won’t be bothering you anymore. If you tell me no this time, I’ll never bother you again.”

“Okay.”

“I really am sorry.” He reaches toward me again, but he doesn’t touch me. “I’m not seeing Lolita anymore. It really was just a hookup.”

“Okay,” I echo.

God, he looks so good. I hate myself for still wanting him.

“I made a huge mistake, choosing her. Please, let me make it up to you. Have dinner with me tonight.”

Everything in me says I should tell him to fuck off. To get the hell away from me and never come near me again.

Except—

“Fine. All right. I’ll have dinner with you.”

A grin splits his handsome face. “Awesome! I’ll pick you up at your place at seven. Wear something sexy.” He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and leaves the gym.

I take my towel, go to the locker room, and shed my sweaty clothes for another towel. I’m feeling equal parts giddy and shitty. I breathe in the steam, letting the humidity and the eucalyptus scent relax me.

“You in here, Tess?” Skye’s voice.

“Over here.” I take a long drink from my water bottle. “You’re not going to believe this.”

“What?” she asks.

“I just ran into Garrett.”

“In the ladies’ locker room?”

I chuckle. “No. After you left the yoga studio, he walked in.”

“Garrett? At yoga?”

“He was wearing a muscle shirt and jock shorts. Fuck, Skye, he looked amazing.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Right? Anyway, he said he was waiting for our class to end so he could talk to me.”

“Ugh. Stalker much?”

Ha. I said the same thing when he arrived. “No, he just said he’s sorry he’s been bothering me, and if I tell him no this time, he’ll leave me alone.”

“So what did you tell him?”

“I told him…” I look away from Skye, camouflaging myself in the steam. “I’d have dinner with him tonight.”

Skye breathes out slowly. “Tessa…”

“Well, it’s not like we said we were exclusive, right?”

“Right. You’re right.”

“I’ve missed him.”

“Why don’t we find you another guy?”

“I’m not getting on a website, Skye.”

“That’s not what I mean. You want to meet Braden’s brother?”

“Ben Black?”

“That’s the one.”

“Is he available?”

“As far as I know.”

I inhale a breath and let it out slowly. “No, I don’t think so. I mean, thanks for the offer, but I hate fix-ups.”

“Okay.” Skye shrugs. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“To be honest, I’m still hung up on Garrett.”

“I know. Or you would have told him to fuck off.”

I sigh. “You got that right. So I need a favor.”

“Of course. Anything.”

“I need you to come to dinner with us tonight.”

Skye bites her lip. “I’m so sorry, Tess. I made plans with Braden.”

I sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she says again.

I cross my legs and look away. “I’m always going to play second fiddle to him, aren’t I?”

“No, but I wouldn’t break plans with you if he asked me to, either.”

I gulp down the rest of the water in my bottle. I’m not being fair, and I know it. “You’re right. You have better things to do than be my babysitter.”

“Maybe…” Skye scratches her chin.

“Maybe what?”

“I could check with Braden. Maybe we could join you guys for dinner and then—”

I hold up my hand, waving steam in my face. “No. Don’t worry about it. I just…”

“What?”

“If I don’t have a chaperone I’ll end up in his bed.”

“Be your own chaperone.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s such a Skye thing to say.”

“And needing a chaperone is a Tessa thing. Black and white. If you don’t have someone else there, you’ll sleep with him. There’s no middle ground.” Skye shakes her head. “You’re so much like Braden sometimes.”

Skye has told me this countless times—that I see everything in black and white. No middle ground. Because I’m a mathematician, all I see is right and wrong. “I am?”

“Yeah. He says he doesn’t accept anything as absolute, but in his way, he does.”

“What do you mean?”

“He just has his own ideas, and nothing will sway him.”

“He sounds more like you than like me,” Tessa says.

“He’s a lot like me in other ways. I’ll grant you that. But that’s not even my point.” She grabs my hand. “My point is you don’t need a chaperone. You can control yourself.”

“Yeah. You’re right. It would just make things easier.”

“Life isn’t always easy.”

“Fuck,” I say. “You sure got that right.”

…

My eyes shoot open.

That last date with Garrett. The date that led to…

How, after my conversation with Skye, I was sure I could control myself…and I would have, if he hadn’t drugged me.

In that same conversation, Skye asked if I wanted to meet Ben.

If only I’d said yes, I could have avoided all of the trauma…and ended up where I am now.

In bed with Ben snoring softly next to me.

In bed with the man I love.