Chapter Forty-Four

Ben

Fuck.

She’s so tight, a perfect fit.

I stay inside her sweet cunt for a few timeless seconds before I pull out and thrust back in.

Thrust, thrust, thrust…

Hard, hard, hard…

Soft moans fly from Tessa’s throat.

I should do more for her…

I should suck on those gorgeous nipples…

Eat that delicious pussy…

Give her one, two, three orgasms…

And I will.

Just not now.

Thrust, thrust, thrust…

Until—

“God, yes,” I groan, spilling into her.

And with my climax, I release the horror of this day.

Or I try to.

For when the contractions cease, and I move off Tessa, relaxation sweeping through my body…

I find it’s all still there.

The memories of what I did all those years ago.

Dirk, the tooth, his threats about his brother and Tessa.

Everything I thought might miraculously go away.

It’s all still there.

I lie for a moment, my arm over my forehead, and I berate myself.

She gave me permission, but I shouldn’t have done this. I should have taken my time with her. Made love to her the way she deserved. Made her feel as important as she truly is to me.

Instead, I fucked her. I took care of my own needs first.

Now I feel like river scum.

I turn to her. “I’m so sorry, Tessa.”

“For what?” she asks, her voice soft and forgiving.

“Your first time after… It shouldn’t have been like that.”

She kisses my neck. “You told me exactly what you were going to do, Ben, and I said okay. This isn’t on you.”

“It’s not on you, either.”

“It’s on both of us. You told me what you needed, and I told you to take what you needed.”

“But you—”

She reaches forward and quiets me with two soft fingers over my lips. “Please. It’s okay.”

Such overwhelming emotion grips me. It’s…intense. And foreign. And so, so deep and powerful. It’s rage at the thought of what Dirk wants to do to her. Fury at Garrett Ramirez for doing it. Sheer wrath at any threat against her. And fucking madness at the thought of any other man ever frightening her or touching her or even looking her way.

And at the same time, it’s tenderness. Warmth.

Fuck.

It’s that moment when everything in your fucked-up life seems clear as day because you’ve found the one person you’re meant to be with.

It’s love.

I caress her cheeks, her jawline. I kiss her neck, the tops of her breasts. She’s so lovely, flushed from the quick fuck, and despite what she’s been through—her assault and drugging, the death of her father—she put my needs ahead of her own.

This is a woman I can no longer live without. Tessa. She’s the one.

When I move backward, look into her gorgeous eyes, she smiles at me.

All is still good. Thank God.

I play with her nipples using my lips and my fingers, relish in her moans and sighs.

“Now, Tessa,” I say, “I’m going to love you the way you deserve.”