Chapter Fourteen

Ben

I meet Braden the next morning for breakfast and a cold plunge.

The cold plunge first.

He and I started this ritual after we made our first million. It’s forced meditation.

Because when you’re submerged in icy-cold water—I prefer fifty-five degrees, which isn’t exactly icy cold, but it sure feels that way—all you can think about is not freezing your ass off.

You focus on your breaths—in and out and in and out—keeping them slow and steady.

No other thought enters your mind, so yes, it’s forced meditation.

When you live the life that Braden and I live—running a billionaire company that employs thousands of people who depend on you to be your best every day—your mind is always going.

I know mine is. The cold plunge has helped me through some difficult times. Those demons I’ve mentioned to Tessa, to name a few.

Braden and I like to challenge each other.

He and I are both up to ten minutes in the cold plunge, but today I’m going to make it to eleven.

Hell, I need it. I had a hard-on all last night thinking about Tessa Logan.

And damn, I don’t even want to think about her that way. Not before she’s ready.

I wish I could help her. I truly do. But I’m not a psychologist, not a counselor. She has to take the lead on this, let me know what she wants and when, step by step. She’s the one in control. And for me, that’s all-new territory.

Braden and I stand outside, the morning air sliding over our bodies.

“We’re at fifty-five,” the resort trainer says, holding the thermometer out of the water. “You sure you want to do ten minutes? That’s a long time.”

“That’s what we do,” Braden says.

“I’m doing eleven this time,” I say.

Braden shoots his eyebrows up. “Ten is pushing it, Ben. You sure?”

“Fuck yeah.” Chills are already running through my body at the thought. “I have to. I need it. Besides, it’ll make our hike up Dunn River Falls seem like nothing.”

“That’ll be nothing anyway,” Braden says. “We’re in the best shape of our lives. You sure about eleven?”

“Absolutely.”

“Great, then. I’ll do eleven as well.”

I roll my eyes. “Figured you would.”

Braden gives me a good-natured punch to my upper arm. “You know I can’t be bested by my little bro.”

The trainer, a muscled Jamaican man named Spencer, sets his timer. “All right, fifteen seconds to work yourselves up. Get in when you’re ready. I’ll tell you when the timer starts.”

I breathe and move my feet in a high-kneed march for a few seconds. I close my eyes, ready myself for the icy water that’s going to meet my body.

“You ready?” Spencer asks.

I close my eyes. “I am.”

“Good here, too.” From Braden.

I step into the cold tub and submerge myself within a second.

I want to keep my teeth from chattering, so I close my eyes and begin to breathe.

The first minute is the most difficult.

All I think about is the cold.

How my body is turning into a glacier.

Fifty-five degrees can’t freeze my body, but it sure as hell feels like it is.

I keep my face out of the water, but I submerge my shoulders and the tip of my chin.

But my whole body—including my face—feels the cold.

I breathe in, breathe out, breathe in again.

Keeping my eyes closed, concentrating only on my breathing.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

Eleven minutes seems like a fucking year, but I’m determined.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

“One minute down,” Spencer says.

He won’t mention the time again. Our minds need to go blank, not worry about hearing the time. Once the first minute is over, the body starts to numb.

You feel the cold, but it’s not quite as harsh.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

In, out, in, out…

I move my fingers. Nope, that makes it worse.

Stay still. Breathe, breathe, breathe…

The hands and feet never get warm.

Not that any of the body gets warm, but the hands and the feet stay freezing, as if my fingers have turned into icicles.

The body, when exposed to these conditions, attempts to keep your internal organs warm and working. Extremities are the first to go.

In, out, in, out…

No images form in my mind. No thoughts form.

I focus solely on my breathing and dealing with coldness.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

Blank.

Blank mind.

Nothingness.

Nothingness…

Nothingness…

…

“Eleven minutes.”

I dart out of the water at Spencer’s voice.

He hands me a warm towel, and I wrap it over my shoulders.

I’m surprised to see Braden already out of his tub.

“You didn’t make it for eleven minutes?”

“I told him to touch my shoulder at ten.” Braden towels off her hair. “I have to hand it to you, Ben. You fucking nailed it.”

“So I bested you, bro?”

“You did. I’m not sure how.”

In truth, I’m not sure, either. I only know that I needed it.

I needed eleven minutes of a blank mind.

Because as soon as that warm towel is wrapped around my shoulders, the one image I’ve tried to block out is back in my head.

Tessa Logan.

Braden and I sit in our towels for fifteen more minutes until we’re warm enough to change into shorts and T-shirts. Then we head to the dining area for breakfast.

“I guess we’re the only early risers here,” I say.

Indeed, the dining room is vacant except for us.

“This is a vacation for everyone,” Braden says. “I imagine most of them will be sleeping in. We’re the only two idiots who will get up at six in the morning when we don’t have to.”

“Since we usually get up at four thirty, yeah.” I laugh.

We fill our plates with bacon, eggs, and potatoes, along with the local Jamaican breakfast, ackee and salt fish. The ackee comes from the inside of the ackee fruit and looks a lot like scrambled eggs.

Once we’re seated, servers bring us coffee and juice.

“Skye really appreciates you looking out for Tessa,” Braden says.

“There’s just something about her,” I say.

Braden looks at me sternly. “Don’t be thinking…”

I put my hands up in front of me. “For Christ’s sake, Bray, I’m not. Besides…”

“Besides what?”

“I ended things with Apple. No more friends-with-benefits. And no more gold diggers, either.”

Braden raises his eyebrows. “Are you saying you’re looking for an actual relationship?”

“I never thought I would. I mean, you know my track record with women. They all seem to be after one thing. But I’ve seen what you and Skye have.”

“But Tessa…”

“I’m not thinking of her that way.” I sigh. “At least I’m trying not to.”

“She’s off-limits,” Braden says in his big brother voice.

The voice that makes me want to punch him.

“I’m glad you’re no longer hanging with Apple, though. I’d prefer that we all stay as far away from the Ames family as possible.”

“Then you won’t want to know that I actually considered a relationship with Apple.”

He scowls at me. “Please be kidding.”

“I’m not kidding, but I don’t feel that way about her. She’s great, and she’s wildfire in the sack, but we’re just too different.”

“She did have one good quality.”

“Really?” I spear a piece of potato with my fork. “You’re going to admit that?”

“She has her own damned money, Ben.”

“Hey, like I said. No more gold diggers.” I sigh. “I’m not in any huge hurry. I’m going to concentrate on work. I’m not going to go looking for love. I’ll let it come to me.”

“I certainly wasn’t looking for love when I found Skye.”

“That’s my point. It will find me when it’s ready.”

The only problem is…I think it might have already. In the form of Tessa Logan.

“I can’t help but think,” I say, “that when I look back through Skye’s Instagram, and I see the pictures of her and Tessa, Tessa was an entirely different person then.”

“She was. If not for Tessa, Skye and I might not even be together.”

Right. Tessa mentioned that to me. “What was it about Skye that drew you to her?”

“The first thing that attracted me to her was her mouth.”

“She does have nice lips,” I say.

He narrows his gaze. “Right, and that’s the last time I will hear you say that. You’re not allowed to think of my wife-to-be that way.”

“I’m not, Bray. Jeez. Skye’s not my type anyway.”

“I know she’s not. She’s a little too girl-next-door for you, isn’t she?”

“Is it my fault that I go for the supermodel type?”

“I know your type, Ben. And I know someone who exactly fits that mold.”

“Tessa Logan,” I say without thinking.

“Exactly. Tessa is tall, gorgeous, with a body to die for. Precisely your type.”

“Don’t I know it.” I sigh. “But don’t worry. I understand that she’s not ready for anything like that. Besides, this weekend isn’t about me. It’s about you and Skye. I’m not going to go looking for action. I’m here for you, big brother. To make tonight a night you will never forget.”