Chapter Thirteen

Tessa

Something’s happening in my hand. My fingers are tingling, but for once it’s not from nerves.

Except it is, in a different way.

And I recognize it.

I recognize it from something the old Tessa used to feel when she was attracted to a man.

Tingles starting in my fingers. Tingles that made me smile, giggle, flirt.

This Tessa doesn’t smile, giggle, or flirt.

Still, the tingles are there.

Part of me wants to step closer to Ben, maybe grab his pinky with mine, feel his warmth as he entwines it around my own.

Part of me is scared to death of that prospect.

I stop walking, turn, and look at the ocean.

It’s so beautiful, a sparkling dark blue as the sun sets.

I take a drink of my water, and I look at Ben. The soft ocean breeze drifts over his hair, messing it up.

And if possible, he’s even more handsome.

This is a man who is equally at home in a suit and tie as he is in trunks and a T-shirt, walking along the beach.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“You stopped walking.”

I turn and meet his gaze. His dark eyes are so beautiful and searching. “I wanted to look at the ocean. I’ve always loved it. It’s so vast. Its beauty is unequaled, especially right at sunset. If we stay here and just watch, we’ll be able to see the very last edge of the sun go beneath the horizon. Beneath the waterline.”

“It is gorgeous,” he says. “But it’s not as beautiful as the woman watching it.”

The tingles in my fingers again.

Ben stands beside me, gazing out at the ocean with me.

Again, my pinky itches to grab his.

Such a tiny tender touch, and I want it.

But I’m afraid to want it.

What if my body reacts in a bad way? What if the fear overpowers the desire?

It’s too soon.

Way too soon.

Besides, Ben Black is a player. He’s in the tabloids with a new woman on his arm every week.

I can’t get involved with him.

Especially if he has demons.

Perhaps he truly does.

Part of me wants to learn about him—everything that makes him who he is.

But I haven’t conquered my own demons. Adding his to the mix wouldn’t be a good thing.

A tingle flashes through me as his flesh touches mine.

Just the pinky. The pinky that I’ve been thinking about.

I yank my hand away.

He turns to me. “I’m sorry. That was an accident. I got too close.”

“No, it’s… You didn’t do anything wrong. I just…”

“I understand, Tessa.” He pauses. “But I’m not going to deny I’m attracted to you. Very attracted to you.”

His words put me on edge, but they don’t elicit as much fear as I expect them to.

Because I find him very attractive as well. More than I’ve even admitted to myself.

I want to tell him that he’s pretty much the best-looking man I’ve ever laid eyes on. That his broad shoulders make my heart flutter, his full lips make me wonder how they’d feel against mine, and his hypnotic dark eyes make me want to get lost in them and never be found.

The old Tessa would have made a move by now, or she would have coyly encouraged him to make a move.

“Maybe you weren’t ready to hear that,” Ben says. “I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, though. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. I’d love to help you if I could—”

“You’ve already helped me. You took over the planning of both of these parties. Your only responsibility was the bachelor party, but you took on the bachelorette party for me.”

“That wasn’t a big deal. I had Braden’s wallet and an expert party planner at my disposal. It was nothing, really.”

I reach toward him, but I don’t touch him. Yet I feel him—his stubbly jawline, his warm skin. A phantom caress. “No, it was something, Ben. It was something I couldn’t handle—or didn’t think I could, anyway—and you took it off my plate.”

“Like I said, it was easy for me. I had everything I needed at my disposal.” Then he cocks his head. “But I’m wondering if perhaps I did you a disfavor.”

I lift my eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing,” he says. “Forget I said it.”

“I can’t forget.” Because I know what he’s thinking.

I can see it in the gorgeous contours of his face.

“You think I was sitting at home doing nothing when I could have been working on the bachelorette party.”

“Well…” he hedges.

“Is that why you offered me a job? Because you didn’t want me dwelling on things any more than I already am, and you’d already taken over the bachelorette party?”

He sighs. “I offered you a job because our company needs good accountants.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“What if it isn’t?” he asks, his gaze meeting mine. “Does it matter, as long as my heart was in the right place?”

His dark eyes are so warm and inviting.

When a warm breeze drifts over my skin, I feel something.

I feel something familiar yet foreign.

I like this man.

I like him a lot.

I like him more than I should.

I’m not sure I can ever even have sex again.

I’m certainly not there yet.

Certainly not when the idea of his pinky touching mine makes me flinch.

But Ben makes me want to heal. He makes me want to want those things again.

And while that should scare the hell out of me—and it does—part of me also relishes the thought.

Part of me…

I grab his pinky.

The feel of his finger on mine doesn’t scare me, doesn’t make me flinch.

Because I chose to do it. I chose to do it. The power is mine.

He cocks his head once more. “Is this okay?”

“It’s okay.”

Then we turn, neither of us saying a word, our pinkies still entwined, and we continue walking along the shoreline.