Chapter 90

* Ryder *

I saw it as soon as I saw her walking towards the car. Even from this distance, her eyes gave it away. It’s amazing that after all that time apart, I can still read her so well. I knew from the looks of things that she’d spent the day worrying about someone who didn’t deserve it; in fact, I knew it would be like this even before I left her because that’s just who she is, and still, I’d let her go to work like that. I have to do better than this. This was one of my many failings from before, not protecting her even from herself.

She’s so brilliant in everything else, always knowing the right thing to say or do, that it was never really needed, except when it came to herself. For everyone else, she’s a champion of causes, the one you want next to you in a fight. As long as the fight is for someone else.

I’d seen it, time and again, the way she’d put herself last to take care of others and had taken advantage of that fact a time or two myself. Something I am now grievously ashamed of. Of everyone else, I should’ve been the last person to exploit this girl. Instead, I should’ve been her shield.

That heart of hers is incomprehensible to me sometimes. It’s one of the things that had made me fall for her so hard in the beginning. It made her stand out from everyone else around us. And yet, it was one of the things that made me doubt her in the end.

I couldn’t believe that she was real. Always doubted that anyone could be that pure at heart, especially being in the business we’re in. I’d used those doubts to fuel my own inadequacy, telling myself that she must be hiding something, so it didn’t matter if I was a monumental screw-up every once in a while.

As Lyon had so succinctly put it, I judged her according to my own shortcomings and fucked up royally. At least he gave me a pass because I was young when I got thrown in with the wolves, as he puts it, but my mom is a whole other story. The way he ranted and raged about her even though they had never met. Not just her, but apparently, any parent who allows their kid to get sucked into the Hollywood machine is a piece of shit who deserves nothing short of being drawn and quartered.

I can’t wait, if the opportunity ever arises, to meet his wife and kids. My imagination has already run the gamut from him being some sort of cult leader to a man who lived by his own rules regardless and who one hundred percent didn’t give two fucks what anyone else thought about him. Something he’s very fond of saying.

I wanted to step out of the car to meet her but had already been warned against it, but seeing how worn out she looked and still bombarded by fans on the sidewalk made it hard to just sit there and wait. Her added security was a big help in getting her through the melee, something I know she hates under normal circumstances. She never wants her fans to think that she’s too good for them; something else about her that I’d overlooked.

As much as she’d spent the day worrying about Janie, I was busy on the other end of that spectrum. After what I saw, through sober eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder what the world must think about the choices I’d made. It’s like trading in a diamond for a zircon, and not a good one at that.

I guess I’d kidded myself into believing that this would all blow over in no time, but how could I expect anyone else to move on from this when I was having a hard time with it myself? Everything her fans had said over the years had been true. She deserved so much better than me.

I’d been a blind, stupid fool who had left her in a most abhorrent way to be with someone who wasn’t even worth half her shadow. And I’d done it for the whole world to see. Looking at the two women in the same room this morning, it was hard to miss the differences between them, and there was no question that my Elena had her beat by a mile in every way possible.

There was no question, no real competition if you ask me. It was like dealing with two different species altogether. Now, my heart clenched as I watched her doing her best to keep it together for the people who supported her even as fatigue weighed her down.

How did I give this up? How did I come so close to losing the better part of myself? No wonder I needed to stay high to survive because I know now that life without her was not worth living; in fact, it’s like trying to live without a heartbeat.

I saw the strain in her eyes even as she smiled and signed one more autograph. Her team had gotten her through half the crowd, but they were no match for her hungry fans. “Fuck this! Guys, I’m sorry, I gotta go get her.” They exchanged a look that was suspect before nodding their heads.

“Go get your girl.”

I didn’t take my eyes off her as I stepped out of the car and started walking the short distance towards her. It didn’t take long for the crowd to notice me and take their attention off of her for a minute, which was all that was needed for her team to extricate her from them.

When she reached my side, I pulled her into me and kissed her forehead. “Go to the car; I’ll be right there.” I knew that would start a new feeding frenzy, this time with me in the middle, which was my intention. I’m better at pissing off fans than she is and have always been known for being a bit irascible to the public.

This time, though, I kept her in mind, that image she was always begging me to portray. It wasn’t hard after all; they’re just human like me. I think in that moment, I realized why I always had an issue with them. It’s because they always saw right through me and knew that I wasn’t worthy of her.

I, too, had felt that way without realizing it, and it had caused me to lash out in the past. What a time to have that revelation. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best as I tried something new.

“We’ll make a statement later, guys. Let her go home; she’s been on set since early this morning, and she’s tired. Watch her social media page for a time and place, okay.” One thing about her fans, they fucking love her. Even though they kept throwing out questions at me, they backed off enough for me to head back to the car without incident. I think the surprise of seeing me there had a lot to do with it.

***

*Mouth*

How had my life come to this? What in the world am I doing here? This is the second time I’ve been talked into a job, and both times happened to be in California. I didn’t know at first when they asked me to come here this time that they knew about my side hustle, and I still don’t know for sure, but now that I think about it, something is up.

The first time was on me because I’d asked them for help with the chick in prison; I didn’t get the feeling that they knew I would go after her, but maybe that’s when I showed my hand? I’m not sure anymore, but I kinda think that it was after that hit that they put two and two together and figured it out.

Why else would they send me here under false pretenses? Well, not false exactly; I did have a legit reason for being here, so how did the information about Mary Hudson suddenly fall into my lap just as I was landing here?

I can’t exactly bring it up to them; why? They’re little girls, one of them being mine. How the hell do I even ask something like that? But now that I know they’d sent Roxy after those people with man-eating lions, I’m not so sure of their innocence. I mean, what the hell is really going on, and do the men know?

That one is the thing that’s keeping me up at night. After I took out the prison chick, both Lyon and my pain-in-the-ass husband had ridden my ass like a mule. I’d pretended to listen to both of them at the time, but the truth is, I couldn’t tell you what the hell was said. Mob boy is always ranting about something, and Lyon just scares the crap out of me.

At least, he used to, until I saw him interact with his wife and kids. The guy’s softer than my jelly-belly husband, all of them are. But now I’m beginning to think it’s not the men I should be wary of, but these freaking little girls.

I know now that the case of expensive liquor I’d delivered to that address in Malibu was tainted because someone had died, so obviously, they’d set me up to take out the Mary woman as well, though they didn’t come right out and ask. My own kid got blood on her mother’s hands.

I have no doubt that Catalina Lyon is behind it all. I am not saying my kid is a deer in headlights, but that one’s own mother is scared of her, and she’s married to Lyon, so go figure. I have no real proof, though, that they knew the truth about me. Sure, I taught my kid how to use the bow and arrow; it’s in her blood, just like it’s in my sons’ blood, to be hoodlums like their dad.

All the same, now was not the time to be thinking about this mess. I have one last job to do, the one they supposedly sent me here for, and then I have to get the hell back to the island before my pain in the ass realizes I’m gone.

The girls had timed everything perfectly, sending me here after sending him to New York, but I was pushing it a little bit too close. I couldn’t just approach their guy, and he’d been busy these last few days, always surrounded by people. But now, things had calmed down here for a little bit, so it was the perfect time for me to make my move.

I hefted the money bag in my hand one last time before approaching the building I’d been staking out for the last half an hour. I knew the comings and goings of the occupants by now after surveilling the place for the last few nights, and I still don’t know why I couldn’t just cut this guy a check and be done with it.

Catalina had insisted that it had to be done this way for some reason, and since I had no idea who or what this guy was to them, I went along. It’s only in my downtime that I have time to think about things and realize that nothing makes sense. It’s like they were running an Op.

I’d seen the signs, well partly anyway, over the last few months. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it seems to me that there’s a lot going on, and those three little girls are in the middle. I know they feed the women information that the men don’t want us to have, but have they been feeding the men info as well?

I don’t know, but from growing up with my dad and uncle, I know what don’t let the right hand know what the left hand is doing looks like. But they’re so damn young, and what am I accusing them of in my head? It’s too much to think about now, what with me finally being here at the end of my little errand.

I slipped into the building and made my way up the stairs to the third floor. I heard voices as I stopped in front of the door to the office I was looking for. It was the only one still lit at this time of night, as it had been the last couple of nights.

I knew the two people behind this door were the only ones left in the rundown building in the shady part of town. Speaking of which, the whole of this place seems to be on the wrong side of hell. L.A. looks nothing like the movies, and I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.

“I still can’t believe that scoop.”

“I know, you’ve been saying it for the last week or so.”

“I know, but this is like some once-in-a-lifetime thing. This only happens in the movies. We went from unknown to being at the forefront of this story. Our numbers have gone up and keep going up. Is this for real?”

“Yes, I’m looking at it now; we got another hundred thousand followers today and climbing.”

“I can’t believe this is happening, and we have no idea who our benefactor is.”

“Uh, I have to get going; the sitter has plans this evening. You won’t be too late…. Who are you?”

I’d opened the door and stepped into the room where the husband-and-wife team sat behind a his and hers desk covered in a detritus of papers, fast food wrappers, and empty cups. “I think I’m here to answer a few of your questions. First, this is for you.” I passed the money bag to the man, who looked to be in his late twenties at most.

“For me? From where? Who are you?”

“It’s from your benefactors. The ones who fed you the story and sent your wife to the hospital where Janie Andrews was being held.” I saw the fear leave their eyes to be replaced with that hunger all reporter types have. I held up my hand when the questions started coming hard and fast.

“Why don’t you open that?” I gestured toward the money bag I’d just given him. He opened it, and his mouth fell open wide with surprise as he turned back to me.

“What is this?”

“What is it, Brad?” His wife asked. He held it out to her in a daze.

“It’s enough money to cover your kid’s operation; at least, that’s what I was told.”

“But how… are you our benefactor?”

“No, I’m not. I was just asked to drop this off for you.”

“But, I don’t understand. Is it someone we know? We didn’t tell anyone other than family; how is this even possible?”

“If they want you to know more about them, they’ll get in touch but don’t hold your breath. I hope everything goes well for your kid. I gotta run.” I left the two of them celebrating amidst tears of disbelief. I, too, would like to know how the girls had found them.

All I know is that he’s some low-level skell trying to break out as a reporter of some sort. Apparently, he’s not doing too well because of his penchant for being honest. As to how the girls even found him. Who knows.

I kept my head down as I left the building and kept to the shadows out of habit. I can’t forget that I had a fresh kill in L.A. and should’ve been long gone. “Mouth, what the fuck!”

“Ho… Dammit, Mob Boy, what the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?”

Before I could blink, he was up on me, pinning me to the wall behind my back. The kiss was hot and heated, so he couldn’t be too mad. “You plan on fucking me against this wall in a dirty alley?”

“Shut up, just shut the hell up.” Uh oh, too late I realized that he’d been scared. He always reacts this way when he thinks he’d been close to losing me. “Okay, shh, shh, calm down. I’m okay; I’m right here.” I only then felt the trembling in his arms and the racing of his heart against me. After all these years, he still gets so easily freaked out where my safety is concerned.

“It’s okay. I just came to drop off some money for someone who needed it.” He wasn’t in L.A. the last few days, so maybe he doesn’t know as yet that I’d pinned that child trafficking bitch to her door with one of my specialty arrows through her head.

“Really, Arianna, really?” Uh-oh, he’s calling me by my government name, time to save my ass.