Chapter 82

* Ryder *

The phone rang just as I came out of the shower. I’d been in there for much longer than was necessary, thinking about the way my life had changed so drastically in only a few short weeks. It seems impossible, and I still find myself having these moments where I want to pinch myself to make sure that it’s real.

In that space of time, I’d gone from wishing for death to wanting to live more than anything. From living in the worst kind of hell imaginable to being the happiest I’ve ever been in my existence. The only thing plaguing me now was how easy it had been for me to lose everything the last time and worrying about how not to let it happen again.

I doubt I’d be such an ass twice, but I hadn’t expected things to go south the last time either, and that’s what’s worrying the hell out of me. How blind I was to the people and situations around me. Drugs had played a part in it, sure, but I won’t use that as an excuse for the mess I’d made of our lives.

I wasn’t in any hurry to answer the phone and only did it so that she didn’t wake up from the ringing. She’d passed out after her gymnastics on my dick which meant she was tired. Then again, my baby does like to sleep.

I didn’t recognize the number, but that’s nothing new. Still, I answered because my gut told me to. “Hey, kid, the guys are going to be there in about an hour; you and your woman need to be ready.”

“Lyon?” It’s so like him to expect me to recognize his voice after such a short acquaintance.

“That’s me.”

“I don’t understand; where are they taking us?”

“You’ll see when you get there. I’m out.” He hung up before giving me anything more, and I just shook my head because what else am I gonna do? Isn’t it odd that I trust him more than people I’ve known for ages?

Speaking of which, I know I need to face Janie at some point in time, something I am not looking forward to, but I would be the worst kind of coward if I didn’t. I’d already seen the last of Scott, I hope since the Saunders group was dealing with nullifying my contract with him and his company.

Mary, I didn’t need to see since I have no real dealings with her except for her and her daughters always being around because of my ex, and as for Matt, I’d been shunning him ever since the news came out that he was a damn pedophile. I haven’t really let myself think too much about the fact that he was the person I’d chosen to be my spiritual advisor and how that showed what a horrible judge of character I’d been in the past.

As for my ex-father-in-law, I doubt he’d have the guts to face me, and I never really had much dealings with his wife, so there was no need for me to talk to her now. My circle had become very small since Elena, and I had broken up, and it was only now, as I stood next to the bed towel drying my hair as I looked at her sleeping face, that I realized how much she had brought to my life.

Because she was in the business long before I was, she’d known way more people, but funnily enough, those weren’t the people she liked to surround herself with. While I was still starry-eyed, wanting to be involved in any and everything that would keep me in the spotlight and as relevant as I needed to be to remain a success, she’d been quite the opposite.

The people she’d introduced me to were real. They were people who genuinely loved and wanted the best for her, and she’d done her best to share that with me while I stupidly pushed back. It was one of the things we fought about most often. I just couldn’t see why she didn’t want me to have the life everyone else in my position was having.

A life of partying to the wee hours, hanging out with the rich and famous and doing things I could only imagine when I first started dreaming about success. So what if that life had a dark underbelly, it was part of the game, wasn’t it, and everyone who wanted to make it had to play their part, or so I believed.

It’s also one of the reasons her mother hated me. She saw me as trying to corrupt her daughter by introducing her back into that life, a life she had come to suspect over time, which I could only now appreciate.

Now I see what she was trying so hard to do for me, and knowing that, the love I feel for her burned like a raging fire in my chest. It hit me as I stood there that, as a human being without all the trappings of fame and wealth, I had really lucked out. Not once, but twice. And it’s for this reason that I promised myself and her as I stood there that I would never let anything come between us again.

* Elena *

I was having the best dream when he woke me up, and seeing his face leaning over mine was like a continuation of that dream. I raised my hand to touch his cheek in wonder as sleep still clouded my eyes. “Ryder!” He covered my hand with his and turned it from his cheek to his lips, placing a kiss in my palm and made me smile.

“I fell asleep.” I was just a little embarrassed about the things that I’d done and trying my best not to show it. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I love you more than life. I’m so sorry, baby, for everything.”

I’d lost count of how often he’d apologized, and as much as I’d imagined making him beg in the past, or the hell I would put him through if I ever got the chance, I find that now that he’s here and we’ve put the worst behind us, I don’t want that for him. “I know, you’ve told me. You don’t have to keep apologizing. I forgive you.”

It felt good to know that it was real, and I wasn’t just saying it, that I no longer held or felt any ill will towards him, that I could put the past so neatly behind me. My head was full of dreams, and I was really looking forward to a life together with him.

Not the one I’d imagined when we were younger, but one that had grown and shaped us from the life experiences we’d been through. I had a slight hiccup when I thought about the children we may never have, not biologically anyway, and there was a little tear in my heart at the fact, but other than that, life couldn’t be better, so I wouldn’t ask for more.

“What was that?”

“What?”

“The light in your eyes just dimmed.” Tears filled my eyes at his response. The fact that he knows me so well, that he sees me, something I had fought hard to achieve before and could never seem to.

I threw myself into his arms and hung on for dear life. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just so happy.”

“Try again. Happiness didn’t dull the light in your eyes. What were you thinking just then?” The words almost choked me, but since we were on this new path to redemption and had promised each other not to hold anything back from each other again, I had to share my thoughts.

“I was just thinking about the future and the fact that I can’t give you the children you’ve always wanted.” He climbed in beside me and took me in his arms.

“I told you. We can adopt. Having kids doesn’t mean as much to me as having you, so don’t worry about it.”

Those words were comforting, but what woman doesn’t want to have babies with her man? In the past, when I first learned that I might not be able to conceive, I felt like less than a woman, like my body had betrayed me in the worst way possible and I didn’t deserve any other happiness since I couldn’t do the one thing that every woman should be capable of.

It had played hell with my mind, and to be honest, the idea of him having kids with Janie had haunted me more than imagining the two of them making love, though that had been a horror in itself. Speaking of my mind, it hasn’t been acting up lately, not since he came back.

I no longer feel like we’re at odds with each other, my thoughts and me. It’s as if his return had worked out all the kinks, and I was feeling better, healthier than I had in a very long time. I’d always known that he was my soulmate, that I was at my best when I was with him, and those years when he was gone, when I felt like I hadn’t been the same for him, had been the hardest.

But now he’s back, and I know without a doubt that he’s the other half of me. A part of me that I cannot survive without, not in a healthy way, at least. Char was right. He’s my twin flame.

***

* Janie *

“Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you, people?” The last thing I remember is seeing the shadow back in my old childhood home and the fear that I felt just before I passed out. Now I’m awake, and I have no idea what time it is or how much time has gone by. I was even more afraid when I realized that I was tied to a chair in an empty room with cement walls and nothing else but a light bulb on a string like some old mob movie.

Somewhere in my mind, I knew that the only reason I wasn’t as afraid as I should be was because of the drugs that I’d taken, but I still felt a bit apprehensive. Oh no, are they going to kill me like they did Mary and Scott? No, if they were going to kill me, surely they would’ve done it by now.

“Are you more of my husband’s friends?” They look like the type, like the two who had come to our house and stayed before I ended up in the hospital. Why can’t I remember their names?

“Can’t you people hear me?” There were two of them, and they just stood there with their backs against the wall, not paying me any attention. One of them looked in my direction but said nothing before turning back to his friend. I guess that was to let me know that they could hear but just weren’t interested in talking.

Fine, I was in the mood for their ass. “Why did you idiots bring me here, and who told you to? And what kind of drugs did you give me?” Nothing. I tugged against the ropes they had wrapped around me to no avail, but still, the fear wouldn’t come. I felt calm, peaceful even, which I most definitely wasn’t, but I couldn’t for the life of me dredge up the energy to be mad.

I kept asking them questions which all went unanswered, so I finally stopped, but all that was left to do was think, and my mind seemed hellbent on dwelling on things of the past. In my heart of hearts, I felt guilty, again, the drugs. The remorse was killing me, and I felt like crying.

I’d done this; this was all my doing. I’d selfishly wanted her life, but why? What was it about her in particular that had lit a fire in me? It wasn’t just about Ryder; it was their relationship as it had been played out in the public eye. The adoration and admiration they’d held as a couple, that’s what I wanted.

When I first met Ryder in person, my wants and desires were only compounded even more, and I knew I had to have him for myself. But where did I go wrong? I’m not the first person in Hollywood to break up a relationship, and they weren’t even married, so what’s the big deal?

What the hell am I thinking? When did I ever want to be her or like her? She didn’t deserve the life she had, and she certainly didn’t deserve to be the woman on Ryder’s arm. I’m the daughter of a known celebrity, and she’s just a little nobody with no familial background to speak of.

She’s not one of us like Mary said and didn’t deserve a seat at the table. I still hold that I’m way better for him than she’ll ever be. Didn’t Matt also agree? Matt turned out to be nothing more than a fraud. But even so, the magic woman had said that we were meant for each other; she couldn’t have been wrong.

But my family had paid her, so she’d probably say anything. But it was them I’d believed, them who had sold me hope and given wings to my dreams. Where is my fault, then?

You have plenty, Janie; it was your greed for something that wasn’t yours and never belonged to you. It was your callousness in trying to destroy a life that had done you no harm. What the hell? “What kind of drugs was in that box?” Why the hell is my mind turning against me?

***

* Lyon *

“What the hell is my terror up to now? She’s been quiet since last night, and now all of a sudden, she’s handing out orders like a general.” Mancini, that fuck sat across the room from me pretending to read something on his computer screen. I can’t let these clowns know that I have lost the plot and have no idea what the hell is going on around me.

It’s bad enough that my own kid was running circles around me but having grown men know that shit would make me lose face or some shit. One of the reasons I made the decision to stay on the island even after the furor of COVID-19 died down was to keep her ass isolated and out of trouble; who knew she’d have these fools eating out of her hands to the point that they did her bidding without even consulting me.

The whole lot of them have been walking around me like they knew something I didn’t ever since our return and that Mary woman’s death, more like murder, I’ve been catching my ass. “I have no idea; she hasn’t shared her plans with me.” Lying ass. I’m sure he’s up to his eyeballs in whatever the hell it is she’s up to. “Exactly what is it that you’re grooming my kid for?”

“Me? I met her like that. What did you groom her to be?”

“As to that, you’d have to ask her mother; she came out of the womb like that.” Pain in the ass. As if hearing my thoughts from across the ocean, my Facetime chimed, and I knew it was her without looking.

“What do you want now, little girl? Where are your aunts? Are they all on the island?”

“Daddy, guess what?”

“What?” Good, she still couldn’t lie to her old man, but I was still no closer to knowing what those damn women were up to.

“The twins are walking.”

“Really? I missed it.” Kat’s going to ride my ass for that one. “What else have your brothers and sisters been up to while I was gone?” She filled me in with her nosy ass, prattling on and on about every little thing her siblings had done in my absence. Wait a damn minute.

“Mengele, cut the crap; what are you up to in New York?”

“I’m not in New York, Daddy; I’m on the island. Did you forget?” My eye started twitching again.

“Fine, have it your way, but I have a question, and I want an honest answer, or I’ll send Lily and Nia back to whence they came.” Mancini picked his head up, but I ignored him. Let him glare at the wall.

“How come that Matt person is still breathing?” If she was ever going to lie to me, now would be the time. I was, in essence, letting her know that I knew about the other two and that she was the one behind it.

“I left him for you unless you want to bring him back here for me to question.”

“That’s a negative, but why him? Why does he get preferential treatment?”

“Because he knows more about the girls that were taken. His church has branches in many nations.”

“Ah, I get it. Where is he?”

“Uncle Hank has him.”

Now it was my turn to glare across the room at him.

“You not dropping any bodies in New York, are you?”

“Is that your kid? Ask her where the hell my wife is.” Flannagan barged into the room, looking like hellfire.

“Ooh, Daddy, static, gotta go.”

“You….” She exited the damn call.