Chapter 73

* Ryder *

“Whoa! What the hell is all this?” I got onto the service elevator in her building that the guys had somehow found and brought me to and pulled out my phone to call her, but there were over a thousand notifications on my phone; at least, that’s what it looked like.

I was expecting it to be more fallout from Janie’s little meltdown since that’s all I’d been seeing on my timeline for the past few days, but instead, I got the shock of my life when an image of Elena and me popped up on the screen.

I started to panic at first, wondering who had been spying on us and how they’d gotten so close, and then I saw that it was she who had posted it. The smile on my face could not be contained. This could only mean one thing; she was ready to go all in. No one else might understand the significance of her posting that herself, but I did.

I know she didn’t do it for any clout; she was sending a message that she was ready to let the world know we were back together again, something I thought would take a hell of a lot more time for her to do.

I hadn’t wanted to push her though I had been ready to shout it from the rooftop since day one. So the fact that she’d taken the initiative spoke volumes and showed an element of trust in me I thought would take years to build back again.

Along with the excitement, there was a bit of apprehension as well. She’d made herself vulnerable again, and a swell of protectiveness rose up inside me. I won’t let anyone hurt her again. I’d slept on things the last time around and left her hanging way too often on her own. But this time, I planned to be there to hold her hand or stand between her and the world every step of the way.

Without giving it a second thought, I posted the second image from that day; this one had her smiling up at me with my arms wrapped around her hips as she faced me. The first one had been taken on the spur of the moment, but this one and all the rest that followed we’d posed for in a kind of playful photo shoot.

I’d wanted to have them with me when I thought I was going to be away from her, and she’d gone along with my impromptu photo session, but even I hadn’t expected the shots to come out this perfect. In this image, in particular, we looked like two lovers lost in their own world, with no worries or cares about this one.

Just like her, I added no caption; I just let the picture do all the talking. I felt ten feet tall as I got off the elevator and followed the guys to the stairs, and instead of calling her to let her know that I was here, I decided I wanted to surprise her instead.

I loved that she felt brave enough to do it, to put herself out there like that. In the past, she would’ve thought twice. I realize now that that was because she was never too sure of me, and that was on me as well. Without drugs and outside influences, it was clear to me just what a horrible boyfriend I once was.

It’s a wonder she’d agreed to give me a second chance because when I look back on our life together, I hadn’t exactly earned it. It just proves how true her love really is, that she was willing to even look at me again after the hell I’d put her through.

I felt sick to my stomach at the memory of how unfair I was and how unworthy I am of her. Then I felt building excitement at the thought of the things I would do to make it up to her. It’s the first time in a long time that I felt this alive like I had something wonderful to look forward to.

Life truly can be wonderful when you get your head on straight. And though Matt had turned out to be a demon in disguise, I can’t negate the fact that his teachings were pretty much spot on. Too bad he’d been enticed and seduced by money more than his calling.

But I have to believe that my remorse and willingness to do right by her this time had won me this chance. Because I wasn’t getting high any longer, I won’t be breaking any promises; I won’t make her sit and wait long into the night without showing up, only to show up the next day with excuses and arrogance.

She’d seen the worst of me and still wanted me, so I couldn’t hide behind my insecurities this time around because I knew in my gut that she’d leave me this time for good and never look back. And that is something I cannot live with. I can’t not have my Elena, I’d die without her if there ever was a next time, and I know it.

I’d been so distracted with her post that I’d all but forgotten my reason for coming here, but when her apartment door came into view, I remembered it all, and that angst was back in full force. I didn’t want it to show, though, so I schooled my features and knocked.

“We’ll be around. You know how to reach us if you need anything.” I felt kind of bad that these guys weren’t with the rest of their squad and were instead babysitting us, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t prefer it this way.

Even with my security and hers, there was no denying that Lyon’s guys had them all beat hands down, and I’d come to trust every one of them in the time that I’ve known them. Lyon doesn’t strike me as the type to work with anything but the best, after all.

She dragged the door open after checking the security camera and all but fell into my arms. “Ryder, what on earth are you doing here? Hi guys.” She grinned at them as they waved over their shoulders as they walked away.

They didn’t head back the way we came, but I didn’t think much of it since she was dragging me inside, and when her lips found mine, I forgot about everything else.

***

* Janie *

I jumped awake and stayed disoriented for a few seconds more, not knowing where I was or how I got there. The last thing I remember was the car behind me turning on their bright lights and then nothing. I was still in the car, strapped in with the engine off, and no recollection of any of it.

A quick look outside showed that it was still dark, full dark now, and I think I was on the same stretch of lonely road I’d been on since getting off the interstate hours earlier. I didn’t see anything else outside my window except the treetops, which kept the moonlight out.

It was still, too still, beyond the window, and it took me a second to realize that the chirping sound I heard was not birds but my phone going off with updates. I picked it up and tried to smack the nasty taste from my mouth. There was a lingering metallic taste from the pills I’d taken without water, and my eyes were still a bit hazy with sleep.

I sat up straight, all semblance of sleep gone when I saw what all the fuss was about. First, my friends were all asking if I’d seen something online, and the link took me first to Elena’s page and then to Ryder’s. The first image, the one she’d posted, looked exactly like the one the little bitch had sent me, and the one from his page was obviously taken on the same day because they were standing in the same window wearing the same clothes.

It was only then that I realized they were wearing pajamas. He wore the bottoms while she wore the top. In the second photo, it was hard to miss the edge of the bed, and from the angle, it was obvious that the camera or phone, whichever they had used, had been resting on something, unlike the first image, where it was obvious that he had been the one taking the picture.

The amount of thought that had gone into taking it was the first thing that hit me, then the comfy way they looked together like a loving couple just enjoying some downtime. I couldn’t even scream at first; I was too shocked to make a sound or get anything past my lungs.

And then I let loose and started beating the hell out of the inside of the piece of shit car, banging myself up in the process. The comments were worse than the fucking pictures, and I felt rage boiling beneath the surface.

People were congratulating them. Not just stupid fans, but other celebrities, some of whom I’d thought were my friends. Some people were talking as if they’d expected this all along and had only been biding their time.

For the next fifteen minutes, as I sat there and read, oblivious to my surroundings and anything else around me, I came to realize what those people really thought about me. It was as if they had only been waiting for an opportunity to open up and say what they truly felt.

Some made the comment that they guessed the whole black magic thing was true after all and told him they were happy that he was finally free of my evil. There was mention of how good the two of them looked together, how much healthier he looked compared to the way he’d looked during his years of marriage to me.

The comments were brutal and spared no feelings, but the worst was the way they tore me down. I felt the need to crawl out of my skin. I wanted to be in New York with my hands wrapped around that bitch’s throat, but I knew I still had a long way to go before I got there, and that was the worst feeling of all.

I was stressed and confused as I reached for another handful of pills, realizing then that the bottle was almost empty. I wanted to call someone, but who could I call? There was no one, and for the first time, I think I understood what it meant to feel like you were losing one’s mind. I was on the brink.

I tried calling Ryder’s number, but once again, there was no answer, but my mind was clear enough this time to realize that his phone must’ve been turned off from the automated message. Could he have changed his phone? Now that I think about it, it had been a while since I’d had to call him, and he hadn’t been answering me either after he’d disappeared a few weeks ago.

Real panic started to set in as it became clear that this was really happening. This wasn’t some PR stunt that his team or mine had come up with to get attention back on us and keep me relevant; he was really back with her. What had I missed? How had I missed the signs?

I kept on top of him for five years, and the one time he got away from me, this was the result. Was he in bed with that MengeLiNi? Was he working with them? How long had he been planning this? This was all my dad and Mary’s fault.

I was so busy doing everything to keep them off my back that I’d messed up and let Ryder slip through my fingers, and now that I needed them most, they were nowhere to be found.

I couldn’t call Mary for help, and Dad wasn’t answering my calls. I felt alone and scared, and it had nothing to do with the darkness outside my window. This was really happening; this was happening. Maybe it’s because I was able to get a few hours of sleep after not resting well since before my hospital stay, but I was seeing and feeling things more clearly now.

I had no choice but to take stock of the situation and see it for what it was. Ryder had somehow tricked me into signing divorce papers, in which I got nothing. My private stash was gone, and all I had was my Apple Pay account because my wallet with all of my credit cards was missing.

I started to shake and scream until I lost my voice. And when the lights of a car came on a few feet ahead of me, I somehow saw my reflection barely, and what I saw only made me scream louder. My face, how could I have forgotten what I’d done to it?

I turned on the inside light and flipped down the visor for a better look, and the sound that came from me, something between a moan and a groan, was felt in the very pits of my soul. I’m finished; I have nothing; he’d left me with nothing and gone back to her.

“ELENA! I hate you. I hate your name; I hate your stupid ugly face.” I screamed her name so loud it reverberated in the dusty confines of the car. I beat my fists against the steering wheel until they hurt and kicked the floorboard in a fury before turning the key in the ignition. I won’t let them be happy together. If my world is going to be turned upside down, then so will theirs.

* Mary *

Noel and Nicole have been calling me nonstop for the last half an hour. I was too busy packing to get out of dodge for a while, but by the fifth time the phone went off with Noel’s ringtone, I thought I’d better answer in case there was some kind of emergency.

Not that I could be of any help right now, I was too flustered with my own issues to think about theirs. For the first time since I made the decision to set out on this course to give myself and my kids a better life, I didn’t have all the answers. Whoever was behind this, and I refuse to believe it’s a little child at the helm of my destruction, was moving too fast for me to keep up.

I’d already been threatened by more than one of my clients, but it was that last one that had really spooked me into action. Scott had left to go back home after hours of trying to come up with a solution to no avail, and he, too, had been pissed that I’d let things get to this point as if it was all my fault.

I have no idea how that twit got ahold of the information she’d shared with the whole world, and though she hadn’t named any names, she’d said enough to put fear in my clients’ hearts, and they, in turn, were out for my blood. Though the last caller wasn’t my scariest client, he had enough power and was close enough that it lit a fire under me.

I knew that most of these people would go to any lengths to keep their dirty little secrets hidden, even if it meant killing me to make it happen. He hadn’t come right out and threatened me, but his cold dialogue and those few words he’d spoken so deadpan over the line had sent slivers of ice down my spine. “How do you plan to fix this?”

I’m not sure why those words had struck so much fear in my heart; some of the others had said much worst, but there was something in the governor’s voice that told me he was already making moves to safeguard his freedom and reputation.

This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for him. He’d only just started making moves in his state that he’d waited years to implement. He’s been waiting for the right atmosphere for years and had gone to great lengths to make things happen, and now that he was on the precipice, this had to happen. So, of course, he’d go the extra mile to make sure that our association never came to light.

I zipped up my bag and grabbed my phone to see what all the fuss was about, and Noel started screaming before I could get a word out. “Mom, did you see this? I thought you said you won’t ever let this happen?”

“What are you talking about?” I looked around the room for anything of importance that I might have forgotten to pack while dragging my bag off the bed and heading for the door.

“I’m talking about Ryder and Elena.”

“What about them?”

“What do you mean? Haven’t you been online? They’re all anyone can talk about; they’re all over the internet. It looks like they’re back together. Do something.”

Though the news was a bit troubling, now was not the time. “I don’t have time right now. Tell your sisters I have to leave town for a few days and not to worry.”

“Why? Where are you going?” Luckily, I had made it so that they couldn’t see what was going on back here at home, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before the news reached them.

I’d raised my daughters not to fear anything but failure. But this situation might be above my pay grade. I never imagined that something like this would happen because I’ve always been extra careful to cover my tracks, and what I couldn’t control, I always found a way to destroy. Something that Noel said got through the fog to my brain.

“Wait, did you say Ryder and Elena Gianni were back together?” I was already reaching for my tablet to check it out for myself.

“Yes, weren’t you listening? You promised that you wouldn’t let her have him. It was bad enough that I had to watch him with that simpleton all these years, but I only put up with it because you promised that one day he’d be mine.”

I didn’t have time for this, and when I powered on my tablet and saw all the notifications that led me to the double posts from Ryder and Elena, I was even less inclined to listen to her whine. “Listen, I told you that now is not the time. I’ll take care of everything, don’t panic.” Besides, your sister and I made the same deal, so there’s that to take care of as well.

That’s the difference between this generation and mine, these kids today were too damn smart, and they hardly ever took anything at face value or did anything without some sort of compensation.

I knew that at least three of my daughters were hot for Ryder, and I’d used that to my advantage, dangling him like a meaty carrot before their eyes, but somehow things had gotten away from me at the worst possible time. Knowing my kids, if things don’t go their way, they’ll be an all-out war right here in my own home.

I might have been able to convince and fool the world into thinking for years that my girls were all one big happy family, but no one knows what really goes on behind the scenes better than me. If the secrets that Janie twit had shared don’t bring me down, the infighting between my kids once they realize that I’d duped them would, I’m sure of it.

Then again, I have so much on them that they wouldn’t dare turn their backs on me. “I have to go.” I hung up the phone mid-scream from her and turned it off as I was sure her sisters would be next. I need to find somewhere to lay low then I will deal with this mess. Why is everything happening all at once?