Chapter 71

* Janie *

I can’t believe I pulled it off. I kept looking over my shoulder each time I came to a stop light, my heart racing and fear threatening to choke me, but the angst was more than acceptable, given the alternative. I’d felt like a sitting duck back in L.A., waiting for someone to break down the door to that shitty little motel room and shoot me every other second.

Between that fear and the image in that photo playing through my head on a loop, I barely slept a wink. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the two of them together and suffered a pain worse than death.

It was a remembered pain; one I was very familiar with from back in the day when they were a couple, and I had to watch them together on screen. It was debilitating to be thrown back to that time after all the work I had put in to change things.

But this time, it was even worst because I’d tried and failed to gain his love for myself. He’d always have this way of looking at her that anyone with eyes could see the love and admiration he held for her. He never once looked at me like that, and I don’t recall ever smiling the way she used to. I bet she never had to practice her smiles in the mirror before stepping out the door; in fact, I knew that to be true.

The few times I was in her presence before I stole him from her, it was very obvious that she was genuinely in love with him, and he with her. Funnily enough, after we got married, it was those times that hurt me most of all.

Because I now knew that that stuff could be faked for the cameras while behind the scenes, life was a living hell. But I’d seen them without the cameras in their downtime and knew for a fact that what they had was something rare and beautiful.

I’d wanted that so much for myself, had dreamt of it for as long as I could remember, but now I know that it’s over. Even if, by some miracle, that picture is a lie, there was no denying that things between Ryder and I would never be what I longed for.

I have no doubt that that MengeLiNi person would tell Ryder all my secrets since she seems to know them, and I’d be lucky if he didn’t embarrass me in front of the whole world. I’d already admitted with my own mouth to what I had done, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t think of a way out of it.

There was no way to talk my way out of it, no way to pretend it was some sort of skit; it had been too real. Plus, the fact that my own father was ignoring me, that alone told me all I needed to know. If there was a chance that I could come back from this, Dad wouldn’t have ghosted me. He’d have stuck around to get whatever he could, as he’s been doing for the past five years.

I didn’t get where I am by sitting in a corner sulking and feeling sorry for myself and I’m not about to start now. It will never be said that I gave up without a fight and though I hadn’t expected things to turn out this way, I have more than enough strength left in me to fight for what’s mine.

I’ll have my PR team do damage control as soon as the dust settles, it’s what they’re paid to do. I got a pit in my stomach when I remembered that it was Ryder’s money that paid for all that and a cold finger ran down my spine.

I shook it off and concentrated on the road telling myself to handle things one step at a time. It was in the dark of night after hours of pondering my options that I came up with a plan once the anger and hurt were under control.

I forgot everything else, even the fear of being hunted down by Mary’s clientele and the fans turning against me. I knew there was only one way to appease the pain in my heart, and that was by erasing Elena Gianni once and for all.

I should’ve done it long ago, but like a cat who likes playing with its food, I was having too much fun making her suffer. I knew that no matter what she said or tried to portray to the public that it was eating her up inside each time she saw Ryder and me together, or any time she heard our names mentioned together.

No one knew better than me just how much those two really felt for each other. Once the dust had settled after our wedding day, it was made perfectly clear that even with all the lies I’d told, and even as angry as he’d gotten, none of that had worked to kill the love he had for her.

That is why I’d done my best and tried my hardest to make her hate him instead because it was clear to me, even from the very beginning, that given half a chance, he’d have run back to her. Even high and drunk, he still slipped up sometimes and called others by her name.

I’d lost count of how many nights he’d awakened in a cold sweat calling out for her, and that was before we started sleeping in separate rooms. For the first few months, we’d shared the same bed, but never once did he touch me, which was confusing in the beginning, because we’d fucked before on more than one of their breaks.

But after the wedding, it was as if I had the plague. He wouldn’t even touch my hand. The only time Ryder ever got within two feet of me after our wedding was when we were out in public, and that was only because his people warned him that it was best for his image if we put on a united front.

I always suspected he only went along with it for her sake as well, in a roundabout way. If people started asking questions about the division between us and the fact that my husband so obviously disliked me, they might start asking questions. There had already been tons of speculation about the haste with which we’d gotten hitched, so that wouldn’t have been so much of a stretch.

But it had taken me this long to realize that even as angry as he was at her because of the lies, he was still trying to protect her. He didn’t want anyone else to go digging and find out what he thought was the truth; that she had cheated on him and killed his child.

Though I hadn’t known that back then, I still had more than enough reason to believe that he still had feelings for her, feelings that no amount of drugs had been able to erase, but did he ever stop to think how that would make me feel? He never gave a damn.

That’s why I’d needed to keep her alive and suffering to make up for the fact that my husband never loved me the way he did her. I may put on a brave face for the world to see, but there is no way to hide the truth from myself. Something I have been avoiding admitting even to myself until now.

Once I finally accepted that truth and decided not to hide from it any longer, that, along with everything else that has been going on lately, brought me to the only conclusion that works for me. With my mind made up, all that was needed were the resources I would need to carry out my plans, and since I had no one to turn to for help, I wasn’t sure that I would even get the satisfaction.

By some stroke of luck, I was able to rent a car using my phone again, and no one seemed the wiser. I was smart enough to use a disguise, just a different colored wig and a ball cap, but so far, no one had questioned me even though my maiden name was just as well-known as my married one.

It was almost too good to be true the ease with which I was able to get out of L.A. after spending one horrendous night in that place. No one was looking for me, I know, because I’d checked the Internet once I was able to get a charger for my phone, which came with the car, thankfully. And though that was about all the piece of shit town car had to offer, compared to what I was used to, it had come in very handy.

I have no plans on turning in the car in the next few days like I’d promised because I have no idea where I was going after I got through taking care of business in New York. My pulse raced at the thought, and I had to slow down to control my impulsive thoughts and getting ahead of myself.

I couldn’t get the picture of Ryder and Elena together out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. I’d spent the whole night and all the next day going out of my mind and only then realized that I had been so afraid that I hadn’t even tried calling Ryder since leaving the hospital.

I tried it earlier this morning and after no response time and again, came to the conclusion that I was blocked. That is what led me to where I am now. I still won’t believe or accept that he was back with her; there’s no way I will live in a world where that was a thing.

I don’t know what’s going on, but I know for sure that there’s no way Ryder and I are divorced because I would have never signed those papers. I’m afraid I know exactly when I signed them though and if I could convince a judge that I’d been tricked that would be the end of their game.

What grounds would he have had for asking for the divorce? And what judge is going to believe that I signed away millions of dollars just because? I know I’ve convinced the world that we married for love, but not even Juliet would’ve let Romeo get away with that shit.

I know I have right on my side, so even if Ryder had somehow tricked me into signing those papers, all I have to do is tell that to the judge, and things would go back to the way they were.

The longer I drove something kept niggling at my mind telling me that this was all too easy. I went from feeling hunted and having people jump out at me around every corner to nothing.

I felt almost as if I was being led, kind of how I felt when I first left the hospital. That feeling of being watched intensified the further away I got from L.A., but there was no one following me. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was in an alternate universe where nothing made sense.

I’d tried calling Dad, but there was no answer, and when I did get through to Mom, all she did was yell. There was no one else to call. It’s not like I was going to call the Hudsons; I was well rid of them. And if Mary Hudson wanted to come after me for outing her, well, just let her.

In all honesty, my hope is that the authorities pick her ass up before she can do anything, and those people she was doing business with have no idea where I am or even who I am. I’d checked and found that the little bitch really had taken my money, but I still had information I could sell, so I wasn’t really too worried about that.

Now I wish I had taken more, but every time I did, my dad found a way to squander it. I realize now that he was ignoring me in my time of need that he really didn’t give a shit about me. He’d used me, which I always knew he was doing, but I always thought at least that he loved me the way he always said he did.

I brushed away the tears that fell and kept my focus on the road. I reached over to the passenger side seat and rifled through my bag for a handful of pills from the stash I kept there, being thankful once again that the hospital had given me back my belongings before I left.

I don’t remember taking the bag with me, but then again, I was so out of it when I was taken away that I don’t remember much of anything. One of those men that had been in my house under false pretenses must’ve given it to me, I guess. But my wallet was gone, so there was no money. All I had was my phone and the pills and my ID that had made it out of my purse for some odd reason.

There was something odd about that, but I couldn’t think clearly enough to figure out what that might be. My head was still a bit fuzzy from my stay in the hospital, but nothing like it had been on that first day, and I can’t remember the last time I ate. I wasn’t about to stop to get something, though, not that I was hungry.

A horn blew behind me, jarring me out of my dazed state, and I corrected the car after realizing I had been driving into the other lane without noticing. I shook my head to clear the cobwebs and put my foot on the gas.

I looked out the window as the sun was going down, wondering why the GPS had sent me to these out-of-the-way backroads instead of the interstate, which would’ve been faster, surely. I’d never driven to New York before, so I wasn’t sure if this was the norm, and it was too late to change it now.

But now that I think about it, I hadn’t seen many cars on the road once leaving the highway a few hours back. Except for the car that had honked at me and was still following behind me, I had no recollection of seeing any other vehicles on the road for quite some time.

I should be afraid, but instead, I felt more reassured. The car behind me didn’t seem to have any interest in me, and they were keeping a safe distance anyway, so I knew I was in no danger. The cold darkness outside my window gave me a sense of solace that the interstate probably wouldn’t have, I realized, so instead of freaking out over the GPS making the wrong choice, I decided to embrace it.

It gave me a chance to be alone with my thoughts as well, which was very much needed because it felt as though I hadn’t had a lot of that since before ending up in the hospital. With my mind wandering from the ennui of the boring drive, I was able to think about a lot of things as I drove along the lonely stretch of road.

After I’d charged my phone, the first thing I’d done was comb the net for any information I could find, but there was nothing but rumors and speculation. There was a lot about Mary and Scott and that whole mess, but I had no interest in that. Neither did I care about the posts calling me out for going to the extreme to break up everyone’s favorite couple.

I wasn’t interested in anything else but finding out if that picture was real and if Ryder really was with her. Every time I thought that it could be real, the pain I felt in my heart was indescribable. I could deal with everything else but that.

There’re no words to describe what just the thought of the two of them being together does to me. I can hardly breathe through the pain, and I feel like I would go crazy. That’s why I’m on my way to New York to find some answers and take care of that bitch once and for all.

* Mengele *

“She’s eating pills again, tap her out before she runs off the road and kill herself.”

“You’ve got it boss.” I grinned at Uncle Shane and hung up the phone.

“I found the perfect place.” Nia swiveled around on her stool to face Lily and I at our work desk.

“You did? That was fast.”

“Uncle Gabriel helped us. Look, it’s in the Flatiron district. An old, abandoned warehouse.”

“Who does it belong to? Stupid question, never mind.” I was having second thoughts about letting Janie make it all the way to New York, but that was the only thing that suited my purpose.

With daddy halfway around the world out of my hair, all that was left was getting the uncles out of the way and that had been much easier than expected, all thanks to Uncle Hank. If daddy ever finds out that he’d ordered the others to follow my orders on this one he’d have all kinds of fits, so it was better to let him find out when everything was said and done.

It should be tiring controlling the adults around here but it’s too much fun and very economical. Mommy and the aunts pay me for information, which the uncles pay me not to share, and Lily, Nia and I get to know everything that’s going on while the other kids are left in the dark. That’s the best part of all.

I think Daddy knows what we’ve been up to because of the things he says sometimes, but he’s never come right out and said so, so as long as he doesn’t, I’ll just keep on going as I am. It’s so boring otherwise.

My mind is always moving like a puzzle, fitting things into place and always staying ten steps ahead in every situation. But only Uncle Hank seems to understand. Daddy treats me like a little girl though and he gets annoyed whenever I do anything too mature.

But, now that I know how much fun it is running an Op, there’s no way I’m going back to my Mensa exercises. Those people are always upset when I get the answers before them, or when my answers seem too advanced. The only way to keep myself from going crazy is by sticking my nose into Daddy’s business, which I have been doing ever since Lily, Nia and I found out about the trafficking organization a couple years ago.

I have to be careful though, because after this, Daddy’s going to know what I’m capable of and he’ll probably lock me in an empty room without access to anything until I’m thirty. The most exciting part about this case is that I’m ten steps ahead of him as well and almost feel like I’m finally beating him in some unnamed competition.

He’ll no doubt grumble and threaten but I’ll just have Mommy handle him when he gets to be too much like I always do. If that doesn’t work, there’s always the grandparents or the uncles.

I stretched to work the kinks out of my shoulders and back and swung my feet, wondering when I’m going to get taller so the stupid twins can’t tease me about being the size of a teacup. Speaking of the twins, they haven’t paid me for keeping my mouth shut to their love interests.

I started to climb down to go hunt them down and maybe escape Lily’s torture, but she was way ahead of me.

“I guess we’re done for the day, we should go practice.” Both Nia and I moaned at Lily’s suggestion but all three of us climbed down off our stools and headed for the door. Outside the night was already growing dark as we headed deep into the forest that surrounded the property, something that would make Daddy’s eye twitch if he knew.

He’d have a full-blown heart attack if he knew about the poisonous snakes and other dangerous things we had back there but just as with everything else, it’s best to let him find out once we’d perfected our training. Besides, we’d spent months training the snakes like pets and knew that they wouldn’t hurt us, though daddy wouldn’t care one wit about that.

Nia passed out the night goggles that we kept in the little hut we’d built back there to hold our gear and Lily fished out the bows and arrows. I walked over to the nearest tree and pressed the button that set the automated metal men in motion. Tonight, we were testing Lily’s new armor piercing arrows for the first time. Something else that would put Daddy in traction as he likes to say.

“Let’s hunt.”