Chapter 12

"Judging by the look on your face, it didn't go well," I say.

Cash closes the apartment door and locks it, shaking his head. His face is drawn, his lips pulled down at the corners, wearing an expression of grief.

"It didn't go well at all," he replies.

He drops down onto the couch beside me, and I can see the weight on his shoulders. Leaning over, I place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"I'm sorry," I say.

He shrugs. "I had a feeling it was going to go that way. It's just disappointing to learn that he's not the kid I thought he was. I guess you and I have that in common now."

A rueful smile touches my lips. "I wish we didn't have it in common."

"Me too."

He leans back on the couch and scrubs his face with his hands. He's tense. His body is taut, and it seems like there's more to the story. More that he's not telling me.

"What happened?" I ask. "What did he say?"

A dark chuckle passes his lips. "You really do know me well, huh?"

"I do."

"He told me that he'd be willing to patch things up if I broke it off with you," he says, "or if I convinced you to go back to him."

"I'm sorry, but I'll never go back to him. Not after…"

My voice trails off and I turn away. The last thing I want to do is throw more gas on the fire or make Cash feel worse than he already does. I want to help ease his burden and make him smile.

"Not after what?" he asks.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"It's something. Tell me," he presses. "You're the one who said we need honesty and to not keep things from each other. So, put your money where your mouth is."

Looking down at my hands sitting in my lap, I swallow hard. "Not after you've shown me, there's better for me out there. All my life, men have treated me poorly. Until you. You've treated me like a queen, Cash. You've made me feel respected. Valued. Treasured. And I can never go back from that. I won't."

"And you shouldn't have to. You deserve to be treasured, Cassie, because you are a jewel."

He follows his words with a gentle kiss that fills me with a warmth that starts in my belly and spreads outward through my body. As good as his words make me feel, I know that Zane is Cash's son. And forced to choose between me and his blood, his son, I don't know that's a contest I'm going to come out on top of. To be fair, I don't know that I should. Zane is his family. I'm not.

"Zane is your son," I say. "I'd understand?—"

He cuts off my words with another soft kiss. And when he pulls away, there's a small, sad smile flitting across his lips.

"Don't think about it," he says gently. "That's not going to happen."

"He's your son."

"He is. But he's not going to tell me who I can and can't see," Cash replies. "And he's sure as shit isn't going to blackmail me into walking away from a woman I'm…"

His voice tapers off and there's a strange expression on his face I can't interpret.

"A woman you're what?" I prompt. "No secrets, remember?"

He looks away, a curious shyness flashing across his face. But then he returns his gaze to mine, a gleam of determination in his eyes.

"A woman I'm falling for," he finishes.

My heart swells so big, I'm afraid it might actually burst in my chest. I grip his hands tightly and blink back the sting in my eyes as they well with tears. His words send the happiness I've been feeling to a whole new level—one I thought existed in movies and romance novels.

"You've fallen for me?"

He nods. "I have. I know it's crazy given how long we've been together, but it's like you unlocked something inside of me, Cassie. I've never cared for anybody the way I care for you. I honestly never thought I could feel this way about anybody. I never knew I could have these feelings. I mean, simply put, I love you," he tells me.

The tears roll down my face as I look him in the eyes. "And I love you too."

"You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And that's not something I'm going to throw away," he says softly, "or let somebody force me to walk away from. No matter who they are. I refuse to be manipulated that way."

"Is it wrong for me to be happy about that?"

"Nah. It's not wrong at all."

The hard pounding of my heart echoes in my ears, and as I stare into Cash's golden-hazel gaze, I'm dumbstruck. Incapable of harnessing my thoughts and forming a coherent word. I didn't know what I was expecting to happen when he went to see Zane today, but it's probably safe to say this wasn't it.

"Anyway, I'm pretty wrung out," he says. "I'm going to grab a shower."

I nod. "All right."

He gives me a quick kiss as he gets to his feet and smiles. "I do love you, Cassie."

"And I love you back."

"Good girl."

Cash heads into the bedroom, and a moment later, I hear the shower turn on. I sit back on the couch and press my head into the cushions, unable to wipe the smile from my face. God knows my feelings for Cash have been intense. Far stronger than I've ever let myself care for anybody before. And even though I knew he was fond of me, knew he cared for me, I didn"t dare to believe that his feelings for me were the same as mine were for him. To hear him say he loves me lights up my very soul in ways I didn't know it could be lit up.

I've heard people talk about love making them feel like they're floating on air before but never thought I'd be one of them. Never thought I'd ever really know what it was like to be loved. Truly loved. I never thought I'd know what it was like to be genuinely cared for. But from the start, Cash has made me feel all those things and so much more. He's made me feel protected. He's valued me. Respected me. He's shown me, without even trying, that I'm worth loving. Without him, I might not know that I deserve better than what Zane was giving me. I might have even gone back to him.

The dark thread woven around the bright tapestry of joy in my heart is knowing that my happiness and the love I have for him has come at a terrible cost to Cash. Nobody has ever chosen me. Nobody has ever put me first the way he did. But the jubilation I might otherwise give myself over to is tempered knowing that my relationship with him has come at the expense of his relationship with his son. It hurts my heart to know that I'm the reason for the divide between father and son. And even though Cash is putting on a brave face, I can see the pain reflected deep in his eyes.

I just want to make him as happy as he makes me. Turning my head, I cast my gaze toward the bedroom door and purse my lips as my thoughts swirl. I might not be able to ease his emotional turmoil, but I can at least give him a temporary reprieve from it. Getting to my feet, I strip down, leaving a trail of my clothes on the floor as I head for the bathroom. Naked, I walk into clouds of steam as thick as San Francisco fog then quietly open the shower door and step inside. Closing the door, I slip my arms around his waist from behind and lay my cheek against his broad, muscular back.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

Cash turns around and pulls me into a tight embrace, staring down at me with his warm, sultry eyes. He leans down and plants a soft, chaste kiss on my lips.

"I'm good," he replies. "You just make everything better."

"I can say the same for you, mister."

As the hot water gently rains down on us, Cash kisses me in a way he's never kissed me before. It's forceful and passionate, but at the same time, it's tender and sweet. It's the kiss of a man in love, and having his lips upon mine makes me want to explode with glee. His eyes locked onto mine, Cash leads me out of the shower and into the bedroom. We stop beside the bed, our arms wrapped around each other, and he offers me a small smile.

"I love you, Cassie Robb. More than I thought I could love another person."

"And I love you back, Cash Teague."

He gently guides me down onto the bed and kisses me tenderly yet passionately before sliding his tongue down my neck, between my breasts, moving slowly yet inexorably until his face is down between my thighs. His golden eyes glitter as he looks up at me, and when his warm breath hits my already-tingling button, I draw in a sharp breath. My pulse races and a river of fire flows through my veins as he tickles my slick folds with the tip of his tongue.

I run my hands through his thick, dark hair, and when he sucks in my clit, my body seizes up and I yank it hard. He lets out a muffled grunt, but his eyes gleam like he enjoys it. Cash's tongue slips along my lips and plunges deep into me. A low groan of pleasure drifts from his mouth as he laps at my juices furiously, as if he can't get enough. Cash keeps licking me, sucking on my button, which is growing increasingly sensitive, pushing me toward the brink.

When Cash takes my clit into his mouth at the same time he plunges a pair of fingers deep into me, my eyes fly as wide open as my mouth. A long, quivering cry bursts from my throat and I shake so hard, it feels like I'm having a seizure. Cash keeps sucking on my clit and pumping his fingers into me, prolonging the orgasm that's gripping me.

Slowly, the sensations begin to ebb and I'm able to catch my breath again. Cash crawls back up my body, his beard glistening with my juices and a hunger in his eyes that nearly steals my breath once more. My thighs are parted wide, and he strokes my slick entrance with the tip of his prick, having it rubbing my still-throbbing button sending tendrils of electricity crackling across my skin. The fire burning in my center is white hot and the anticipation of having him inside of me is so thick, I'm choking on it.

Bracing himself on his arms, Cash hovers above me, never breaking eye contact as he gently rolls his hips, sliding his length into me. He's so large and I'm still so unaccustomed to having a man inside of me that there's a slight pinch of pain. It quickly fades though, filling me with a rush of pleasure. His movements are deliberate and tender, and when he's fully sheathed inside of me, he kisses me in that warm and loving way that makes my heart swell. I slip my hands around the back of his neck, clinging to Cash as he moves within me.

His thick shaft sliding along my wet inner walls with such care and tenderness, coupled with his intense, unwavering eye contact, takes the passion between us to a whole new level. I can see the love he has for me shining brightly in his gaze, and I hope he can see it reflected in mine. Our bodies move together in the slow, gentle rhythm of our love, our moans, sighs, and murmured words blending to fill my ears with an erotic symphony that makes my every nerve ending buzz like they're live wires.

The rhythm of his cock sliding deep into my core never breaking, Cash leans down and flicks his tongue across my pert nipples then gives them a quick nip, making me squeal in delight. I cling to him, my nails digging into his skin as the fire inside of me burns out of control, threatening to consume me completely. His movements are smooth and deliberate. He's not moving too hard or too fast. He's focused on my pleasure. He doesn't seem to care about his own release or his own pleasure. Only mine.

For the first time since we've been together, Cash is silent, but his eyes burn into mine, telling me all that needs to be said. We've had sex plenty of times. We've fucked many times more than that. But this is different. This is the first time we've ever made love. Some might call it semantics. Some might say it's a distinction without a difference. But they'd be wrong. Sex and fucking are great, and I enjoy them both a lot. But they're focused on the physical. They're focused on the sensations and getting each other off.

While the physical sensations and giving each other pleasure are important, what Cash and I are experiencing right now is on another plane. The feelings he's giving me as he moves within me are transcendent. They're lighting up my soul and not just my body. Rather than just physical, this is purely emotional. With every tender roll of his hips, we're deepening the bond and the connection we share. Cash is moving inside of me with a purpose. Our coupling is not just a matter of getting each other off this time. It's tethering our hearts together more firmly.

Cash kisses me again and his cock swells inside of me. My inner muscles tighten and spasm as he grunts, growing ever closer to his climax, filling me with heat and light, and pushing me toward the brink as well. Our lips brush and the tips of our tongues touch, both of us moaning as the ecstasy of the moment grips us both even tighter. Cash squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth as his rhythm falters. He's so close but is trying to hold back the inevitable.

"Let go," I whisper in his ear. "Let go, my love."

His body grows taut, and then he shudders, a low growl bursting from his mouth as Cash erupts inside of me. His cock throbs and his hot cream spurts deep into me. The rush of warmth filling me touches off an explosion, and I press my head back against the pillows, letting loose a long, lusty cry of my own. The feelings gripping me are so intense, I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears of joy welling within them from falling.

With Cash still buried inside of me, we cling together, our breathing ragged, matching smiles on our faces, both of us quivering. Cash's golden eyes sparkle as he looks down at me, pure awe on his face. It's as if he can't believe what we just experienced together any more than I can. Our bodies remain entangled as he throbs, draining every drop of his seed into me, milking the moment for all we can.

"I love you so much," he finally gasps. "I love you with everything in me."

"And I love you just as much."

He rolls off me and flops onto his back, still trying to catch his breath. I snuggle closer to him, resting my head on his broad chest, and revel in the feelings of warmth and joy that wrap themselves around me. I never thought I could be as happy and satisfied as I am right now. It's something I wish I could bottle and carry with me wherever I go. Underneath it all, though, is a slow current of worry. Zane is still out there, and that situation more or less remains unresolved.

And I fear it's only a matter of time before that other shoe drops.