22. Mer - Communicating

So much had remained the same, but one thing had definitely changed– Colt was much more dominating than he used to be. It was always in him to take charge, and I wasn’t at all surprised that he now captained his hockey team. He had a calm confidence about him that was attractive, making it feel like he’d solve any situation he came across.

But that didn’t mean I was okay with how he bulldozed this situation– even though Ryan was very helpful, and he did make me feel better about my knee.

After Ryan left, everyone chatted in the kitchen for a bit, but I kept quiet, trying to navigate my feelings. From the way Colt kept looking at me with a tense grimace on his face, he totally knew he was in the doghouse.

What he did wasn’t fair and he knew it. He ambushed me and made me talk about my knee when I wasn’t ready. But at the same time, I understood why he did it. In the past, I left in the dark about my pain. We were both reacting to previous trauma.

When Colt offered to let me get ready in his bathroom and use his shower, I immediately jumped at the opportunity, because we needed a minute alone.

We were quiet as we climbed the stairs. He stopped with two steps left and turned on me. “Are you still mad at me?”

“Yes.” I passed him so that I stood a step higher, making us face-to-face.

“Okay.” He pulled at the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I was just worried about you.”

“I understand that, but you can’t just…” My eyebrows tugged together. “Don’t just…” I couldn’t seem to come up with the right words. “Please don’t do that again. If we’re gonna–” I cut myself off, because what was I going to say? Do this again? Date? I didn't even know what to call it. “We need to communicate better. I have to work on it, too,” I admitted.

He paused for a second, letting my words sink in. “If we’re gonna…?” His lips threatened to curve up.

My face blushed with embarrassment. “We need to communicate,” I said, pushing a finger at his bare chest.

“I can work on that,” he said eagerly.

“Okay, good.” I went to steal my finger back, but he grasped my hand and pulled, making me yelp and fall into him. “We’re on the stairs, you crazy person.”

“As if I’d ever let you fall,” he said with a chuckle as he carried me into his bedroom before placing me back on my feet. He smoothed my hair behind my ears. “Mer?”

“Yeah?”

“I really want to kiss you.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Sorry, I’m just communicating,” he teased, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“You are such a brat.” I shoved at his chest.

He held his hands up and smoothed a pace away from me. “Okay, I'm sorry, for real. I’ll work on it, I promise.”

“Good.” I nodded. “Me too.”

We stood facing each other like we were in a standoff.

I was the first to move. I whipped off my shirt and then tugged down my leggings, leaving just my bra and underwear. I was usually never quite so brazen, but this was Colt. He’d already seen every inch of me in many different states. And besides, I was proud of my body, of how far I’d come– from a girl who was broken and bruised and barely eating, to feeling strong and capable and healthy.

And the way his eyes glazed over as he watched me gave me more confidence. I forgot how much I enjoyed our games of flirting and teasing.

He came closer, but I smoothed back and held a finger up to stop him. “Nope.”

He blinked in shock.

I had to roll my lips together to keep from laughing. “You’re being punished right now.”

His hands went to the side of his face and then up into his hair. “But…but…” He looked like I just kicked his puppy.

A laugh popped out of me as I pranced toward his bathroom. “Yes?” I asked over my shoulder.

“I am so sorry, baby,” he said in a husky voice, struggling to tamper down his own grin.

I smirked as I turned on the shower, then I turned away from him, dropped my bra, and kicked the door shut behind me.

I heard his groan from behind the door. “What will it take to earn your forgiveness? Please let me back in your good graces,” he begged.

I just laughed at his attempt and hid behind the door before cracking it open an inch to see him.

He came closer and leaned in the doorframe. His dark eyebrow arched up. “You’re just punishing yourself, you know.”

“Ha!” I burst out with a laugh. “How’s that?”

“Because you want me to touch you too,” he said in a low voice. “Don’t you?”

My lower stomach spasmed, yelling at me to let him in, because yes , yes I did want him to touch me.

He struggled to tamper down his grin. “How about you let me earn your forgiveness?”

My eyes roamed over him before I quickly backed up and closed the door. I looked at myself in the mirror. Was I really doing this? My limbs went a little jittery with excitement. I bit my lip. I wanted this. I’d wanted this for longer than I was willing to admit. “Fine,” I called out.

He bulldozed into the room. “Thank God,” he murmured with a grin while his hand went directly to my jaw and his lips crashed against mine. His tongue teased my lips apart and swept through my mouth. My hands went to his chest. He didn’t break the kiss as he backed me up until I was against the cool bathroom wall. His strong thigh went between my legs while his hands gently grasped my wrists. He pinned me to the wall while his mouth wandered to my jaw, down my neck, to my boob.

He sucked in and the shock of pleasure made me gasp. “Colt,” I said breathlessly.

Letting go of my wrists to trail his hands down my body, he rasped, “Never want to stop touching you.”

My head was spinning from his touch as he continued trailing my body with kisses. My hands explored his body, and I never wanted to stop either.

But when his hands drifted lower to my undies, I froze up with nerves. Things between us were moving at a lightning speed, and while my body clearly wanted him, my brain was lagging a bit behind. He had a way of making me reckless and out of control, but I needed a second to catch my breath. I mean, before last night I hadn’t even laid eyes on him in years. I needed… I needed a minute.

“Okay,” I said, breathing heavily. My hands landed on his shoulders.

“Okay.” His large hands stilled around my waist and his eyebrows popped up. “I’ll stop?”

I grimaced and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping my brain wasn’t sabotaging things– like always. “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” he said with a light laugh. “That is perfectly okay, baby,” he said with an easy grin, standing to his full height.

“Sorry,” I said, gesturing to the tent in his pants.

“Don’t apologize,” he said with a chuckle. But ever so observant, Colt lifted my chin with his finger. “Hey,” he said gently, “I don’t want you to ever be nervous, alright?” His intense gaze bore into me. “You set the pace.”

Feeling a warmth spread through my body, I nodded and smoothed away from him, then dipped into his shower by myself.