21. Colt - The After

She was holding onto me like she was scared I’d disappear and that was my fault because I did have to leave her when I was young. But we were in different positions now, and I'd reassure her for the rest of time if I had to.

I never wanted to leave this couch, but as the sun came up and cast an orange glow in the living room, I knew we only had a few hours before the three of us had to head to the rink for game day prep.

Around 7am, I shuffled into the kitchen to start the coffee. While I waited for it to brew, I called up Ryan, our team physical therapist. If Mer couldn’t go in to the doctors, maybe I could have someone come and look at it for her. She’d be in this space with us here for support. I was just terrified that she could be doing more damage to her knee by ignoring the pain. And maybe I was dealing with my own form of PTSD because I felt like I had to do something about her pain or I’d go insane.

“Hey Ryan, I need some help…” I peered into the living room where everyone was still sleeping. My eyes landed on Mer. “What would you do for knee pain from an old injury?”

“How old of an injury are we talking? Was it re-injured?” he asked, sounding distracted.

“Like ten years old? I don’t think there was a re-injury.” I hated that I didn’t know.

He blew out a breath. "Knees are tricky. The cartilage can be delicate because it doesn’t regenerate. I’d have to take a look. You want this off the record?”

“It’s not for me.”

“No, seriously, I can be discreet, just don’t hurt yourself more, Colt.”

“No, it’s for…” My eyes shut. I didn’t even know what to call her. Friend sounded so dumb and way too light a word for how I saw her. “It’s for someone important. Could you still come? I’d owe you one.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

A half hour later, Mer shuffled into the kitchen with her dark hair completely disheveled, looking sleepy. She stripped off my hoodie at some point in the night leaving her in a cropped workout tank top with flimsy little straps that revealed a sliver of her pale skin above her joggers. She was practically spilling out of that top, and I had to force myself not to stare or I’d fucking drool. She was curvier, healthier now, and my body wanted this mature version of her so fucking bad.

She leaned against the counter and I silently slid a mug of coffee in front of her.

“You still like vanilla in your coffee?” I asked. “I think I have some…” I searched my pantry and quickly found it. “Ah-ha,” I said, wagging my eyebrows at her.

But her eyes weren’t on the syrup. They were glued to the small tattoo on my left side. I’d taken my shirt off in the middle of the night and hadn’t thought too much of it.

“Colt…” She swallowed hard, staring at the small angel wings etched onto my ribs. “That’s not because of…”

Stepping closer to her, I used a finger to gently lift her chin so I could lock eyes with her as I said, “Yeah, it is.”

Her head cocked to the side, like something just occurred to her. She reached out like she wanted to touch it, then pulled back and blushed.

I grinned in amusement and dipped to whisper in her ear, “You like it? That I marked my skin for you?”

Goosebumps erupted on her arms making my heart fucking soar. In a daring move, I slowly dragged a finger up her smooth arm. Her body shivered, and I fucking loved having that affect on her. My heart beat erratically in anticipation, but I had to force myself to slow down. I dragged my finger all the way up her neck to move her hair. “Waiting on an answer, Bennett,” I rasped.

Her sky eyes flashed to mine. “Yes.”

Something inside me snapped. My hands looped around the back of her thighs and I lifted her onto the counter. Her legs automatically slid open, welcoming my hips. My hands jutted up in her hair pulling her close, and then I claimed her mouth with mine.

That first touch of our lips together was fucking euphoric. It felt like I’d been locked out of heaven for a decade and I was finally welcomed back.

We were equal parts frantic and passionate as her nails dug into my back, pulling me closer, and I groaned, deepening the kiss. This. This was perfect. My hand trailed down to her chest, her nails raked through my hair.

“Missed you so fucking much,” I said against her lips.

“Uh-huh,” she whispered breathlessly back, unable to form words, not wanting to break the kiss.

I gently tugged her hair for more access to her neck and I trailed kisses and bites down her sensitive skin, making her gasp, making me impossibly harder for her, and that’s when a chair clattered to the ground, making both of us jump.

“Wupsies, my apologies, friends,” Kappy said in a taunting tone.

Breathing hard, I dropped my hands to either side of her hips, caging her from view. Her eyes were still closed, still feeling the moment. I didn’t want to look away from her swollen lips, but I also wanted to fucking murder Kappy.

“Didn’t realize I was uh… interrupting something,” he said.

Mer leaned her forehead against my shoulder and her little body shook with laughter.

“Just a reminder that there is a child in the other room, so let’s keep it PG, y’all.” Kappy casually wandered over to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice. “And did either of you brush your teeth first? That is pretty disgusting.” He drank straight from the container.

My face cracked in annoyance. “Come on, do you really have to do that?” I complained. Now I had to get the extra juice from the garage fridge for breakfast.

Keeping her head resting on me, Mer glanced at my eyes. “We keep getting interrupted.” She patted my chest so she could slide down from the counter. When she did, every part of her body brushed against mine, sending a bolt of attraction zapping through my system. “Maybe that’s a sign,” she said, scrunching her nose.

“What? No,” I shook my head out, not even thinking straight because my brain was still flooded with lust.

She shrugged as moved around the kitchen to grab a spoon. “Could be.”

No, no, no. That made me want to grab her up right that second and bolt for the stairs so we could cement what was between us before we lost the opportunity.

She laughed at my face, her eyes twinkling with delight.

I blinked at her for a second, realizing she was totally trying to get a rise out of me.

Arching an eyebrow, I moved to stand directly behind her. “Poking the bear, Mer?” I whispered.

“Woah!” Kappy yelled, making her jump slightly into me, and there’s no fucking doubt she could feel how hard I was for her.

She turned in my arms and her eyes darted from sweatpants to my face. She rolled her lips together, looking amused.

I just shrugged, not apologetic at all.

“Why’s my hoodie in the trash!” Kappy yelled. “What the hell, Colt?”

Mer bit her bottom lip to hold in her laughter and smoothed away from me. She grabbed up her coffee, looking coy and confident. “Maybe I am,” she said casually over her shoulder, making me want her even more.

I dropped my head against the pantry and blew out a sigh, trying to calm my body.

God, I wanted her so badly. Right fucking now . But I also had to make breakfast for everyone… And, pretty sure Ryan, the team physical therapist, was on his way over, which might make her pissed as hell at me.

One thing was definitely true– the two of us really were plagued with bad timing.

As I cooked a bunch of game day omelets, pancakes, sausage, and bacon for everyone, Mer helped out making some toast, but I kept catching her eyes drifting to my ribs.

The angel wings were the first of what would become many tattoos on my body, but it was still one of my favorites. I’d gotten it done a couple years after our relationship ended when I was partying with my team in Toronto. That night was pretty blurry from alcohol, but I remembered one of the guys losing a bet and having to get tatted on his ass. While there, my teammates were all riding me about turning girls down, and that’s when I drunkenly confessed being in love with a figure skater who looked like an angel. Enough years had passed at that point that I was no longer angry about how it all went down, more so grateful for the memories, but still sad, confused, and maybe a little frustrated about losing her.

I was shocked the next morning to see the wings on the side of my ribs, but I didn’t regret it at all. She was part of my story. She left her mark on my heart, so it made sense that a reminder of her, of us, was etched into my skin.

When breakfast was finally served, we sat around the kitchen table together, and home finally felt complete.

Watching Mer slowly eat and enjoy my cooking filled my chest with a ridiculous amount of pride.

The only problem was that Lucy looked a little glum as she held her forehead and played with her pancakes in a pool of syrup.

“What’s wrong Lu?”

She dropped her fork. “I don’t want to go to Grandma Catherine’s,” she pouted. “I want to go to the game with you.”

My stomach dropped. Both Kappy and JP grimaced. “Honey, you can’t go to the game by yourself. You can watch it on TV though, I’m sure Grandma would–”

“I can take her,” Mer offered suddenly. But when everyone turned to look at her, she curled in on herself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep.” A blush colored her cheeks. “I totally didn’t mean to–”

“You want to come?” I asked, trying to tamp down the rush of excitement I felt over just possibly having her in the stands watching. But also, I couldn’t just have her watch my daughter all day. “I mean, we have to leave soon, so that’s why Lu goes to my mom’s, because it’s a long day.” My mind raced to fix it, to make it work. “You could pick up Lu before the game?”

“Or we could spend the day together?” Mer shrugged and bit her lip in question, sneaking a glance at Lucy. “A girls’ day?”

“Oh my gosh! A girls’ day?” Lucy squealed. “Can we? Pretty please!” She practically bounced out of her seat with excitement. “The game is sooo fun,” she gushed to Mer. “Can we sit by the glass, Dad? Pretty pretty please?!” She clasped her hands together to beg.

My heart pretty much exploded in my chest from a mixture of relief and happiness.

Mer’s cute upside-down smile slid on her face as she looked from Lu to me. “I mean, if that’s… okay? I’m kind of a hockey fan, if you didn't know.”

I grinned. “Alright, Bennett.”

Lucy cheered.

Kappy slapped the table. “Mer Bear’s wearing my jersey! I called it!”

“What? Why? She should wear mine,” JP argued.

Mer laughed, looking completely delighted.

I scoffed. “Yeah, it’s funny if either of you think your jersey’s even going near her,” I muttered under my breath right as the doorbell rang.

Shit.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed back and made my way to the door, really hoping this wouldn’t piss off Mer too much.

Behind the front door stood Ryan, an athletic looking dude in his late twenties wearing a blue Windy City Whalers team polo and docker pants– the athletic department's official game day uniform. Having worked for the team for a few years now, he’d become a good friend of ours.

I pulled him into the foyer for a handshake, back-slap. “Thanks for coming, man. Everyone’s back in the kitchen.”

“No problem. It’s good to get out and get some fresh air before being trapped in the rink for the rest of the day,” he said with a smirk.

I shot him a look of sympathy. I think his game day was longer than ours as players.

When we entered the kitchen, Ryan looked between us and announced, “So, who’s got the knee problem?”

Mer’s eyes immediately narrowed at me. Her jaw angled to the side.

JP and Kappy looked around the table in confusion.

“She does,” I spoke up, my gaze boring into her.

“Colt,” she hissed, dropping her fork. “I don’t have–”

“She does,” I repeated, giving her a hard look.

She glared at me. Her neck immediately started going blotchy, and my stomach twisted, but I had a feeling this was the only way she’d get it looked at.

“Oooh, she’s maaad ,” Kappy murmured.

“Yeah, she is,” I said plainly, not taking my eyes off her, “but I'll take an angry Mer over an injured one any day, even if that makes me the bad guy.” My jaw tightened, trying to hold my resolve, and I nodded for her to follow Ryan into the living room. I didn’t want her hurting. This was a hard line for me and I wasn’t going to apologize for it.

My words must’ve landed, because she dropped her head and pushed out of her chair. She refused to look at me as she passed by, and I felt like a dick, but there’s no way I was going to let history repeat itself.

After finishing breakfast, Kappy and JP went outside with Lucy to finish raking the leaves. I think everyone needed some fresh air after being trapped in here yesterday.

I lingered in the kitchen, drinking my coffee, waiting for Mer. Unfortunately, Mer was soft spoken as always, and I could only hear Ryan’s side of the conversation, not hers.

“I’d say an MRI would be needed to fully diagnose it,” he said.

She murmured a question that I couldn’t quite make out.

“Not necessarily, surgery would be recommended if there’s a trapped nerve, but from what you’ve said it sounds like chronic nerve pain from the injury or original surgery. Honestly, I think you should take it easy and see what happens. Lifestyle changes could help.”

She asked another question.

“I’m not surprised. Massage therapy is very beneficial, loosens the muscles, stimulates blood flow. There’s also physical therapy exercises, heat and cold therapy, nerve blockers. There’s been a lot of advancement in the last ten years.”

I think she said something about coaching then, but I couldn't be sure.

“Understandable, but you need to prioritize your physical health and monitor if it gets worse. Being on your feet in the cold for hours is not doing you any favors, so I’d try to scale back and see if that makes a difference,” Ryan told her.

I’d one hundred percent be making sure she followed that advice.

“I get it, but don’t be scared to go in and ask for help, alright? I’ll give you my card in case you need some recommendations.”

I had to clench my jaw because she was clearly anxious and I wanted to be the one to comfort her.

Kappy stumbled back into the room and his eyes darted to the living room. “She alright?” he whispered.

“She will be,” I said with determination.