Chapter 47

47

SARAH

M y heart was breaking. I understood this was the end. I wasn't ready for it to end, but I didn't get a say in that. He had just laid it all out.

It was bad timing. Everything I felt for him had to be buried and put away. It hurt. I didn't want to let him go, but I understood it was no longer my choice.

I sat there, my heart pounding in my chest as his words echoed in my mind. His hand was warm around mine. The connection between us felt so much deeper than a fling.

Was this really it? Was I about to lose him? Although I heard his words and I totally understood them, I couldn't get my head around the idea it was real. I would never get to be in his arms again. My mind refused to accept it. In such a short time, he had become a part of my life.

"But Dean," I started, my throat dry. "Can't we try?"

"No, Sarah." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "We've gone over this. It's not just about us anymore."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak as I felt tears prick at the back of my eyes. His expression was stern.

"I understand." I looked around his home. We were here. We were alone. And as far as I knew, no one knew I was here.

"Dean?"

"Yes?"

"I get it. I understand. We're over."

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

"Don't be. It's definitely not your fault. I know it's the right thing to do. I accept that. But I was just thinking…"

"What is it?" he asked softly.

I felt silly. But I was still human. I had feelings. I had some very strong feelings for this man. It was going to kill me to walk away from him. I needed one last kiss. One last time. If we were saying goodbye, I wanted a good memory to walk away with. Something that would keep me warm at night.

"Can we have one last night together?" I blurted out.

His eyes widened for a moment, clearly surprised by my request. Silence fell between us as he seemed to consider it, eyes searching mine.

"Just one night, Dean," I whispered, pleading. "We'll draw the line tomorrow and never cross it again. Just one more night. You know we both want it. You know we are both going to walk away from this and regret not getting a proper goodbye. Think of it as closure."

He was silent for a while, his gaze never leaving my face, and then slowly, he nodded. "One more night," he agreed, his voice low and husky.

As he pulled me into his arms, I clung onto him tightly. Both of us knew this was the beginning of our end, that every moment from now would be a countdown to our final goodbye.

His hands threaded into my hair as he kissed me. It was filled with a yearning and an intensity that left me breathless. It was a lover's kiss, one that was filled with promises and heartache, one that spoke volumes about what we had and what we were about to lose.

"My bedroom," he whispered.

I got up and extended my hand to him. "Show me the way."

His touch was gentle, yet firm as he led me through the narrow hallway to his room. It was a simple space, clean and orderly with a big bed in the middle. There were no personal touches, no photographs, no memorabilia. But then again, Dean wasn't that kind of person. He didn't hold on to things. He moved forward.

He turned to me, pausing in the doorway.

"This sucks," I sighed.

He smiled. "I know."

Dean reached out and pulled me close again, his arms wrapping around me tightly. I buried my face into his chest, the familiar smell of him bringing a smile to my face. There was comfort and longing and so much more.

I leaned back just enough for him to look down at me. His mouth covered mine in a hungry kiss.

I felt his eagerness. His desperation matched my own. I pulled him closer. His body was a solid wall of warmth against mine, and for a moment, I closed my eyes and let myself forget our impending goodbye.

Our clothes were quickly discarded in the dimly lit room. His lips danced over my neck, sending shivers racing down my spine. I could only think of how this would be the last time I'd feel his touch. I clung onto those feelings, imprinting them in my mind as something to remember when loneliness would inevitably seep in.

"Sarah," he breathed against my skin, drawing me back from my thoughts. His voice was thick with emotion, echoing the pain I felt in my own heart.

"Dean," I responded softly, my fingers tracing the lines of his face.

His eyes were closed as he leaned into my touch, a soft sigh escaping his mouth. I wished desperately that I could pause time and savor this fleeting moment forever. But reality had a way of catching up, always refusing to be ignored.

"Make love to me," I whispered urgently into his ear.

He answered with a nod. "That's exactly what I plan to do."

His hands slid up my body and held my face. He looked into my eyes, staring into the depths of my soul before he leaned down and kissed me.

The kiss was everything. It was goodbye and hello. It was sorrow and joy. It was the past and the future. It was everything we had ever shared, and it felt as though everything we hadn't been able to say to each other was poured into that one, long deep kiss.

My heart squeezed at the thought this would be the last time I got to hold him in my arms.

One last night.

I pressed myself even closer to him, my hands wandering over his back. The muscles flexed beneath my touch as he continued to explore my mouth with his own. His hands caressed my body.

Soon, he was pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side. His mouth dropped lower. His lips traced the line of my collarbone, causing me to shiver beneath his touch. My fingers tangled in his hair, the sensation of him against me igniting a fire that consumed every rational thought. His hands continued their exploration, creating a trail of goosebumps where his fingers skimmed over my bare skin.

I reached out, tracing the hard lines of his chiseled physique. The soft sigh that escaped from him was my reward. It was apparent he wanted this, not just the physical aspect but the emotional connection that came with it.

He lifted me effortlessly and placed me on the bed. He followed me down, his body pressing against mine. Our hearts were beating fast against each other, and he looked at me with such heat in his eyes while his kisses trailed down my neck and chest. He quickly undid the button on my pants and pushed them down.

I lifted my hips and watched as he pulled them away. He leaned back down. His tongue flicked across my collarbone, causing my back to arch in pleasure.

"God, Sarah," he groaned into my skin, "You're so fucking amazing. I want you."

His voice was rough and low and filled with longing. He kissed me again, teasing my lips gently with his own. His hand slid up my thigh slowly, stopping short of where I wanted him to go.

"Please," I groaned.

"If this is the last time I get to do this, I want to savor every moment," he murmured.

"Okay," I gasped as his mouth closed over my nipple.

He nipped and sucked, evoking a moan that echoed around the room. His fingers teased me, his touch igniting a trail of shivers down my spine. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as I writhed beneath him.

He let out a low growl against my skin, sending vibrations through me. He then moved lower, his warm breath washing over my skin as he kissed down my belly. My heart pounded as he neared the edge of my panties. He hooked his finger around the elastic and pulled them down slowly, revealing me to his gaze.

The room fell into a silence thick with anticipation. He climbed back up my body, his lips meeting mine in a heated kiss as his hand found its way between my legs. My breath hitched as his fingers teased me, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. I broke away from the kiss, gasping for air.

"Dean," I whispered, clutching him tightly.

"I've got you," he murmured back, his focus never wavering. His rhythm was slow but deliberate.

His thumb circled my clit while his fingers plunged further inside me, eliciting a moan that bounced off the walls of the room. My body responded eagerly to his touch, an insatiable desire coursing through my veins, fueling the blazing fire within me.

His fingers continued to stoke the fire as his other hand found its way to my breast, teasing the sensitive nipple. Our heavy breathing filled the room as he brought me closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.

"Dean," I gasped out, my body arching off the bed as I teetered on the edge.

He answered with a low growl, his fingers quickening their pace. The pressure built within me until I screamed out his name, shattering under the intensity of my climax. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over me, leaving me in a state of euphoria.

His lips found mine in a kiss that was softer now, less urgent but filled with tenderness. His fingers never stopped their exploration even as he guided me gently down from my high.

I gasped when he slowly withdrew his fingers, leaving a void. I was still hungry for more. I blindly reached for him. I opened my eyes and watched him strip off his clothes in record time. He jerked open the drawer on his nightstand and tore open a box of condoms. I could see his hands shaking. He was just as desperate as I was.

He slid on a condom and quickly crawled over me once again. He positioned himself between my legs, his eyes searching mine as he slowly entered me. It felt so good. His body fit perfectly with mine. Once he was in, he began to move inside me. Each stroke was filled with desire and need. He wasn't rough but purposeful, fucking me like he meant it.

Our moans mixed together as he continued to thrust inside me, picking up speed. There was an urgency between us. It felt like he was trying to pour everything into this one moment before we had to say goodbye. The sound of our skin smacking against each other filled the room.

There was a fierceness in every thrust. A primal need completely took over. I felt it, too. His moans grew louder, more ragged. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in deeper. His hand slipped between us. His fingers skillfully found my clit and began to rub. Every stroke of his fingers matched the rhythm of his thrusts.

"God, Sarah," he gasped out.

My walls tightened around him as another wave of pleasure was building within me. His thrusts were on the verge of frantic now. His grip on me tightened as he drew close to his climax.

"Dean," I whimpered, clutching onto him as the pleasure mounted. The force of his final thrusts pushed me over the edge again. My body convulsed around him as silent cries slipped past my lips.

His movements became erratic. He buried his face in my neck. With a low growl, his body stiffened against mine as he gave in to the ecstasy. His ragged breath flooded my skin before he collapsed on top of me. My arms went around him, holding him close. I committed this moment to memory, knowing it had to be the last time with him.