Chapter 35

35

SARAH

T he bar was bursting at the seams with pilots celebrating after passing their training. They showed no signs of slowing down. After weeks of preparing for survival school and then getting through it, they had a ton of steam to blow off.

I had been going easy on the beers after the first few went down fast. My head was buzzing. I was suddenly a lightweight after not drinking for a few weeks. Despite that, when I saw an opening, I went for it.

Laughter and loud conversations filled the air and the lights had dimmed even more, making it the perfect cover for Dean and me to slip out unnoticed. I met his eyes across the bar and gave a subtle jerk of my head. He nodded and leaned over to Jude to whisper something. The man rolled his eyes and shooed Dean away.

"I'll be back in a few," I said to Kylee. She was in the middle of a conversation with a guy I knew she liked.

"Okay." She nodded without looking at me.

I casually walked away from the table and went out the front door. I had noticed him slipping out the back. I walked around the bar and found him waiting for me.

"My truck is right over there," he said.

We made our way to the back lot, which was empty aside from his pickup. The moment I climbed in, a wave of nerves hit me, which was unsettling. I hated not feeling in control. The man shook me up.

"We need to talk," he said, his voice steady but serious as he sat beside me.

"Just talk?" I asked, my voice breathy. With no bar between us, I could just scoot over and ride him like a rodeo bull.

He groaned and clenched his jaw. "Yes, just talk. About us."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to ignore the feeling between my legs. It didn't care about talking. No words could soothe that ache.

"What about us?" I asked with some irritation.

He looked away, staring out the window for several seconds. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. After what felt like forever, he finally turned to look at me.

"Ever since we first met, I've been fighting a battle I can't win."

I frowned, my heart quickening. "That doesn't sound like the Ryker everyone knows and loves."

"I shouldn't want you, Sarah. But I do. And resisting only makes the need stronger."

His words sent a jolt through me. I felt the same way. I knew this was breaking the rules, and not just any rules—these were serious. Dean could lose the career he worked so hard to build. I could lose mine before it even started. The Air Force was only half of the problem. We both risked losing my family's respect, and worst of all, Dean could lose his oldest and closest friend, my father.

"I feel the same way," I whispered. "I shouldn't want you. You're my father's friend." I grinned. "And you're cocky, bossy, and way too old for me."

He chuckled. "Stop. The flattery is going to go to my head."

I grinned, glad he picked up on my joke. "You know you're hot as hell and there is not a woman in or out of the military that doesn't want you."

"And yet, there's only one woman whose attention I want. I know everything is against us, but you're worth the risk."

I took a deep breath. "Life isn't any fun if you're not following your heart. It's how I've made every decision, and it's led me here. I trust my heart, and it's telling me to take this chance with you."

"You're sure?"

"I've followed my gut all my life," I said. "It led me to the Air Force. I've dealt with a lot of pushback from everyone I knew, especially my father. My heart has never led me astray. I intend to stay true to myself."

Dean reached out, taking my hand in his. "This thing between us stands to be something amazing if we give it room to grow."

I squeezed his hand, feeling a rush of warmth. "So, how do we do this? How do we keep it a secret and still function as mentor and student?"

Dean took a deep breath. "We'll have to be careful. We can't let anyone suspect anything. But we can make it work."

I looked into his eyes, searching for reassurance. I wanted to believe him, but it was a big deal.

"I want to do this with you, but I don't want to lose you as an instructor," I said. "You're the best teacher I've ever had. Flying is my first passion. I don't know if I would choose anything or anyone over flying, including you."

Dean chuckled, clapping a hand to his heart. "I understand. I was a young pilot in love with the sky once, too. I promise I won't make you choose. We can have both."

Those words sealed the deal for me. I leaned in and kissed him, letting all my emotions pour into that kiss. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. The kiss deepened, and for a moment, the world outside the truck ceased to exist.

He dragged me to him just like the first night we were together. I opened my mouth, welcoming his tongue.

The kiss seemed to last an eternity, as if time had stopped just for us. But eventually, we pulled away, breathless and looking into each other's eyes with desire and fear. The storm of emotions raging in Dean's eyes mirrored my own internal turmoil. It would be too easy to fall crazy in love with the man. I had plans and dreams. I couldn't let myself fall into that trap.

"God, I want you," he growled. "You turn me inside out. I haven't stopped thinking about you since that night in the hotel. I can still taste you."

His words sent a shiver down my spine. "Kiss me," I whispered.

He did the same thing as he did before, putting his seat back and pulling me into his lap to straddle him.

Dean's hands wandered over my body, lighting me up like fireworks. The feeling of his hands sliding up my shirt sent me into a frenzy of desire.

I covered his mouth with mine again, my fingers threading into his hair, pulling him closer. I could feel the hardness of his body beneath me. His hands gripped my hips tightly, causing a low moan to escape my lips. He plunged deeper into my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine. The sweet taste of him was intoxicating, even better than the first night in his truck.

"Tell me to stop if you want," he murmured against my lips. "I don't want to take anything too fast."

"Don't stop," I replied without hesitation.

I knew we couldn't go any farther than this make-out session, but I would take what I could get. I needed the connection.

"You smell so good," he murmured.

"New lotion," I replied as my tongue slid across his jaw. "I hoped I would see you."

He groaned at my words, resuming his explorations of my mouth. My fingers found their way to the hem of his shirt. I had to touch him. I ran my hands over his smooth, taut chest. His skin was warm under my touch, sending electric jolts through me with every brush of my fingers. I wanted him naked.

A low chuckle echoed from his chest. "You're driving me crazy," he whispered against my lips.

"And here I thought I was the only one thinking about that night," I whispered back, playfulness lacing my tone.

Dean just chuckled again, his hands sliding up the back of my shirt, tracing the curve of my spine. I gasped at his touch, feeling a rush of warmth shooting from the small of my back to the base of my neck.

"Believe me, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind," Dean whispered, his voice soft and rough at the same time. "Every time I close my eyes, it's your face I see."

His confession sent a fresh wave of desire through me, leaving me breathless. I wanted Dean. I wanted him more than anything, and it was terrifying.

Suddenly he pulled away, looking deep into my eyes. His pupils were dilated, his chest heaving with heavy breaths.

"I would give just about anything to take you right here and right now, but people are going to notice we're both absent at the same time. The only way this works is if we keep this between the two of us."

I knew he was right. I rested my forehead against his. "I know. I told Kylee I would be right back."

"Before you go, I have some good news," he said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"After you get back from the long weekend in July, I've put in a training request for us to fly to London together, to take a combat maneuver course and practice landing on an unfamiliar airstrip."

My eyes widened in excitement. "Are you serious?"

He grinned. "Absolutely."

"No way," I squealed, slapping at his chest.

"The best part, there won't be anyone breathing down our necks. We'll be able to explore the city together. Just me and you with no prying eyes. No Mo. No fellow officers to rat us out."

"I really like the sound of that." I nodded.

"I'd like to take you for a nice dinner," he said. "A real dinner. I'll wear a tie. You wear a dress. The sexier the better."

A grin spread across my face, matching his. "I'd like that."

Things started to heat up again, our kisses becoming more urgent. But Dean pulled back, his breathing heavy. "We have to wait until London. Jude is waiting for me back in the bar, and I'm not thrilled with the idea of getting caught the very first night we decide we're officially seeing each other."

I nodded, though I was burning with need. "I can wait. Maybe."

He smiled and pulled me in for one last lingering kiss. He was a drug that left me floating. "I don't know if I can," he murmured, his breath warm against my lips. "I'm so fucking hard right now. I'm going to split the zipper in my jeans."

"I guess we'll see," I teased, pressing a quick peck to the corner of his mouth before pulling away.

"Guess we will," he breathed.

I slid off him, adjusting my shirt and wiping my mouth. I glanced over at him and watched as he adjusted his crotch, grunting.

"Maybe I should leave you out here for a minute," I said, laughing.

"You're mean."

I leaned across the center console. "I promise, when we do get a moment alone, I will make it worth your while."

"Not helping," he grunted.

I hopped out of his truck, blowing him a kiss as I walked away, making sure my hips were swaying.

When I walked back in, the bar was still lively. No one seemed to notice our absence. I rejoined Kylee and the others and quickly poured myself a glass from the pitcher.

"Everything okay?" Kylee asked.

"Yes, good." I smiled.

I noticed Dean standing at the bar with his friend giving him a funny look. We avoided eye contact. I was filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation for what was to come. This was risky, but it felt right. And for the first time in a long while, I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.

"You're flushed," Kylee said. "Is it still hot outside?"

"Yes." I nodded and fanned my face. "I thought I would go out there and get some fresh air, but it wasn't really any fresher. Very steamy."

"Hopefully the AC is working." She sighed. "I tell you, I won't be sad to be leaving the humidity. Assuming I get stationed somewhere else."

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I'm finding I kind of like it here."

I looked toward the bar and just happened to catch Dean looking back at me. He winked before looking away.

I was going to enjoy this secret romance thing.