16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Z’Ree

Since everyone is busy either helping Nikolai or keeping the ship afloat, Astra summoned the captain himself to help her remove my collar. I tried to stop her, anxious about annoying the most important person on board this ship. What if he hates me? Then he stepped through the door and I instantly knew nothing bad was going to happen.

The captain is a Lakhartan. I hadn’t seen him during my stalking of the crew, presumably that was because he spent most of his time on the bridge and I avoided that area, so I had no idea what species he was. If I had seen him, perhaps I would have been inclined to trust Nikolai a little sooner.

I’ve met hundreds, maybe thousands of slavers from all kinds of species, but not a single one was Lakhartan. It’s rare to find one even hanging around mercenaries or pirates but if there’s one thing you won’t see in this entire galaxy, it’s a Lakhartan slave trader. Their strong morals prevent them from engaging in such a heinous activity. Those same morals also drive them to protect the innocent, which is why they’re one of the most common races among the UGC’s peacekeeping forces.

“Welcome aboard the Supernova,” he greets me, his rumbly voice almost as soothing as Nikolai’s. “I’m glad to see you’ve finally decided to join us. I hope that everyone,” he casts a side glance at D’Aakh, the angry Krestilian who’d yelled at me before, “is being nice to you.”

I nod. They have been nice to me, perhaps more than I deserve. I understand how they came to the conclusion that I was behind the damage to this ship. They knew I was on board, hiding in the maintenance walkways, and they don’t know about the insects.

“Come, let’s remove that collar,” the captain says. “I hate seeing those things on my ship.”

I bet he does. I almost go with him, then realize what I’ve been forgetting about. The crew doesn’t know about the insects because idiotic me still hasn’t told them.

The captain quirks his scaly brow as he watches me scramble for the datapad, but he doesn’t say anything, letting me type out my message.

“There are insects on board, big ones I’ve never seen before. They wander the maintenance walkways in the lower levels and tear cables and pipes off the walls. That’s why the systems are malfunctioning.”

I hand the datapad over to the captain. As he reads, his brows burrow. “Insects? D’Aakh, come here,” he calls out, waiting until the Krestilian reads the message. “Are you sure that’s what you saw?”

They don’t believe me. Well, of course they don’t. I look like a creepy swamp monster that just crawled out of a sewer. Yet I have to convince them I’m telling the truth. If they don’t stop those insects, the entire ship is going to fall apart.

It’s Astra who rescues me. “Did you just say insects?” she asks, staring at me with her mouth wide open. When I nod, she continues, “Blue ones? About four feet tall? Look like alien praying mantises?”

“Yes, they’re blue and about four feet tall,” I type my response. “I don’t know what a praying mantis is, though.”

“It’s Cricket!” Astra cries out, clapping. “He and his friends are alive! This whole time, we thought they’d died when the slavers cut the oxygen to the holding cells, but it looks like they made it out of there in time.”

D’Aakh glares at her murderously. “Why the fuck are you so happy about this? They’re literally tearing our ship apart! I say we go down there and deal with them.”

“No!” Astra protests. “It’s not their fault! They probably don’t know what they’re doing.”

I hate to disagree with her since she’s been so nice to me, but I still correct her. “They definitely seemed like they knew what they were doing. If it’s any consolation, though, I don’t think they were trying to damage the ship on purpose. It looked more like they were building something and needed the parts. Some of them wanted to take apart a control panel that looked important, but the big one stopped them.”

It’s quiet as they read my message. I really need to practice speaking more. This way of communication sucks.

Like I expected, D’Aakh speaks first. “Even if they weren’t trying to damage the ship on purpose, they’re doing it. We’re hours away from losing our engines because the cooling systems are failing. Once that happens, we’ll be left floating in the middle of nowhere, with no one around to help us. I’ve secured the life support system and the artificial gravity, so those should hold for now, at least in the inhabited areas, but there’s no telling how long it will last.”

“Alright.” The captain sounds calm, despite the dire situation. “We need to dock somewhere. Cai, what’s the nearest safe location?”

“The mining station on the Alevvo asteroid belt,” a computer voice responds. “It’s a small station but sufficient for an emergency landing and conducting the necessary repairs we need.”

“Redirect us there immediately. D’Aakh, I want you to focus on keeping the engines and the life support system going until we get there. What do you need from us?”

D’Aakh’s antennae twitch. “To shut up so I can think. Let’s see…” He rubs his forehead. “Tareq and Omni should be able to help me with emergency patches.”

“I’m coming, too,” the Zyderi female says as she jumps off her bed.

“You’re injured, Lyriana,” the captain objects.

She shrugs her healthy shoulder. “So? I can work just fine with one hand. Plus, if we don’t keep the engines running long enough, we’ll all die anyway, so there’s no point in hiding in the infirmary.”

“Good point,” the captain says. “I’ll join you as soon as I remove Z’Ree’s collar. Astra, will you check on Nala and Ellen and make sure they’re both alright? Stay with them so that Faelin can help us with repairs.” He doles out duties to his crew before turning to me. “Z’Ree? Will you watch Nikolai? We’ll move him to a bed and he should be out for a few more hours but I want to make sure someone’s with him when he wakes up. Unless you’re a master engineer?”

I snort and shake my head. I can just about operate basic devices but that’s it. Nikolai probably knows more about technology than me. “I’d be happy to watch Nikolai,” I type quickly. I would have stayed with him anyway, but it feels oddly gratifying to be assigned such an important job.

“Okay, it’s settled then. Get on with it.”

The crew starts moving, everyone rushing to their assigned tasks. I watch as they carefully transfer Nikolai to the little room in the back while the captain rummages through some drawers. “Ah, here it is,” he says, pulling out a dangerous looking device. “This should do the trick. Please, sit here.” He pats the examination table. “I’m Zarkan, by the way. Please forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. It’s a little busy around here at the moment,” he jokes.

I chuckle. A little busy, indeed.

He shows me the tool as I hoist myself up on the table. “I’ll have to cut through the collar. Normally, we’d open it with one of the generic key cards, but yours is special. Stronger, with a more advanced tracker and equipped with a solid anti-tampering system. I guess the bastard who owned you didn’t want to lose his precious merchandise,” he growls, squeezing the tool so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t snap.

“I’m sorry, just ignore me. I have a very strong opinion of slavers.” He raises the tool to my collar. “I have to warn you, it might trigger a safety mechanism and shock you, but I’ll be quick. It won’t last more than a second. Trying to hack into the lock’s control system would take much longer and D’Aakh’s too busy. Do you still want me to do it?”

“Yes,” I say, my voice sounding a little stronger than last time. Even if it takes a minute or an hour, I’ll take the pain if it means the damned thing will be gone from my neck.

“Brave girl,” he praises, then lines the tool to my neck. “Ready? On three. One. Two.” He never says three, the conniving bastard.

Sharp flaring pain rushes through my entire body, my vision darkening as it feels like my brain is being fried. I dig my fingers tightly into the side of the bed, squeezing the mattress to give myself something to focus on. The pain is overwhelming and though I try my hardest to fight against it, my mind simply shuts down.

I wake up crumpled against Zarkan’s chest. Unlike the electrifying tingles I get from touching Nikolai or the bone chilling fear I’d have at the hands of a master, being held by the captain feels surprisingly warm and comforting. Conjuring distant memories of being held by my own father, I feel safe.

I must have only been unconscious for a few seconds but it’s messed with my head pretty badly. The world is spinning and I feel like vomiting. Zarkan helps me to sit back, holding me up by my shoulders to support me.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea the anti-tampering mechanism would be that strong. Are you alright?”

“Hmm,” I hum, trying to focus my vision.

He holds up a chunk of metal in front of me, my eyes immediately snapping to it. In my astonishment, I almost forget to breathe.

It’s the collar. The same damned collar that has been locked around my neck for more years than I can remember now lies in Zarkan’s large hand, damaged beyond repair.

I run my fingers over it, needing to confirm it’s real before raising my fingers to my throat. Scarred tissue greets my fingers and I wince at the unfamiliar feeling.

When my first master gave me the collar, it would constantly rub and grind against my skin. It hurt terribly and I bled a lot during those first few weeks, something my master enjoyed seeing. Then the skin must have finally scarred over, becoming thicker and more resilient, no longer tearing when the collar rubbed against it.

The collar is gone, but the scars remain. They’ll probably always be there, reminding me of what I’ve been through. But they’ll also remind me I got a second chance. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it yet, but I’ve got it. I’m not a slave anymore. My collar is gone and I haven’t dissolved into nothingness. I’m Z’Ree again, not merchandise.

“T-thank you,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “Thank you.”

Zarkan squeezes my shoulders comfortingly. “You’re welcome, Z’Ree.” I love how he deliberately uses my name to make me feel more like a person. Just like Nikolai does. “I know you’re probably scared of the future,” he continues. “But you have options. We’ll go over them later when the ship isn’t falling apart because a few crazy bugs chewed on essential cables, but for now, I want you to know that, if you want to, you are welcome to stay here on this ship with us. For as long as you want. Days, months, years, whatever. Keep that in mind, please. I know your situation is terrifying and seems hopeless, but it’s not.”

Tears roll down my face, tinkling as they hit the table and floor. How did I find a group of such amazing people? My throat is too constricted from holding back a meltdown for me to speak, so I wrap my arms around Zarkan and hug him to show my immense gratitude. I’m not actually big enough to wrap my arms all of the way around him, just reaching as far as I can around his wide torso, but it’s the thought that counts.

He holds me tenderly, like a father would comfort a crying child. “It’s alright,” he soothes. “You’ll be just fine, little one. The crew and I will make sure you’re safe.”

“Thank you.” I’m repeating myself, but what else do I say? That he reminds me of my father? That would probably weird him out.

As he pats my back, the scarf over my hair shifts, setting several strands free. “Oh, sorry,” Zarkan apologizes and begins to fix the scarf back into its original position.

I shake my head to stop him and pull it all the way down. I only wore it to hide my crystalline strands which easily identify me as a Silithrae. Since everyone knows what I am, hiding is pointless.

I run my fingers through my hair, wincing at how filthy and tangled it is. Every part of my body feels filthy and suddenly, I can’t stand it anymore. As if reading my mind, Zarkan smiles, “There’s a shower in the back. I see Astra already gave you some clothes but if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask. Have you got a comm?”

The world sways a little as I jump off the examination table but it only takes a second for my vision to focus again. Picking up the datapad, I wave it at Zarkan to answer his question.

“Good. We can get you a wrist-mounted comm later so you don’t have to drag a datapad around with you everywhere but this will do for now. I’ll go check on my dear crew and make sure D’Aakh hasn’t strangled anyone. Let me know when Nikolai wakes up.”

Feeling exceptionally brave and playful, I give him a mock salute and mouth a hoarse, “Yes, sir.”

Zarkan laughs as he turns and leaves the infirmary. The sudden silence is deafening and I feel a little queasy from being left alone after being surrounded by so many people. Or perhaps it’s just a side effect from when the damned collar tried to fry my brain.

I glare at the monstrosity. There were so many times when I’d considered prying it off somehow. Now, I’m glad I never tried. It would have probably killed me long before I’d gotten it off. Or it would have knocked me out cold and the tracker would have guided my master straight to me. A chill creeps up my spine at the thought of the likely punishment.

I shake it off. I’m no longer a slave. I won’t be punished anymore. Instead of worrying about collars, I should be worrying about finding a shower because I can smell myself and it’s not pleasant.

I gather the clothes from Astra into my arms and head to the room where Nikolai is sleeping. My heart aches seeing him lying there motionless, hooked up to a machine and with a large bandage covering half of his head. His readings are normal, at least.

I don’t understand the individual readings, but the machine displays them all in nice, neutral white, which means they’re probably within expected parameters. If something was wrong, it would be highlighted in orange.

Nikolai is doing well. He’ll be fine. He’ll wake up, open his eyes and smile at me and… I’m not sure what happens next.

Touching my lips, I remember the kiss we shared right before the ship’s systems failed. Was it real? Or did I bang my head too and the kiss exists merely in my imagination?

I sigh. There’s no way to tell for sure until Nikolai wakes up. And if I want him to actually kiss me again, I’d better get cleaned up.

The bathroom is small, with just the basic amenities but it still feels like a luxury to have it to myself. There’s nobody leering at me as I finally strip out of the stolen coveralls. They were dirty before I put them on and after several days of me wearing them, they’re now so much worse for wear. I scrunch my nose, wondering how in the world anyone endured being anywhere near me, let alone hugging me. I stink.

As I’m about to step into the miniature shower cubicle, I catch sight of myself in the mirror and stop. The bright light mercilessly exposes every imperfection on my body and I clearly have too many to count.

Scars and bruises mar my skin. My bones stick out like someone threw a bag of skin over a skeleton. Every joint, rib, and vertebra looks like it’s about to pierce through the skin and escape my miserable body.

Part of me is covered in the black sludge I used to hide my complexion but the rest doesn’t look much better. My crystals used to shine brightly, even in dim light but now, the ones in my skin are all dull, and I know those inside of me aren’t faring much better.

I don’t shine anymore. I’m slowly being extinguished.

Not anymore, I decide, challenging the skeleton in the mirror to disagree with me. I’ve been through something terrible and it shows. But the physical issues are nothing that a long, hot shower, plenty of rest and nutritional food can’t fix. The mess in my head might take a little longer to sort out, but I’m determined to get back to normal, whatever that looks like.

I think my determination stems mostly from Zarkan confirming that I can stay on board the Supernova for as long as I want. Having a safe place where I can heal in peace without having to constantly look over my shoulder alleviates so many of my worries I feel like I’m floating.

Instantly suspicious of my sudden feeling of weightlessness, I check if my feet are still touching the floor but this time, it’s truly just a giddy feeling and not a gravity generator malfunction.

The shower runs at a low pressure but it’s amazingly hot, so I just stand under the stream for long minutes, letting the water wash away my worries, fears, and terrible memories. They’ll never go away completely but at least for now, I’m fairly confident I can deal with them without losing my mind. One thing is washing away completely, though—the filth I’m covered in.

I scrub almost viciously, relieved to see a patch of skin shine through the black sludge. I’m in here, somewhere. I just have to work hard to find myself again.