Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

C aroline made her way to the music room, hoping things would not be too terribly awkward with just her and Martha. Caroline didn’t know how to entertain a child alone, but she was grateful to have the opportunity, a sign that Robert was still trusting her, that she did not frighten Martha. Normally the girls entertained each other, and Caroline answered their questions when it came to the song choice or music notes. What would it be today?

When she opened the door, she found Martha standing at the piano in a lovely blue dress, fingering through the sheet music. Caroline offered her a bright smile. “What piece will it be today?”

“I’m not certain,” Martha responded, her lips pursed thoughtfully.

“Well, you can have your pick, really.” Caroline moved to stand beside her at the piano. “You played exceptionally at the ball, and I know everyone present was utterly impressed with your abilities at such a young age.”

Martha shrugged her shoulders and flushed adorably. Such a trait she had gained from her father.

“I wanted to thank you,” she said timidly, “for joining me in the duet. I realize it was likely not a pleasant experience to play at a presentation without practicing, but I could not have done it without you.”

Caroline’s chest warmed, and her brow softened. “You are very welcome. I’m glad your first musical presentation was a success, even if you could not share it with Kitty. Have you gone to see her and the baby?”

Martha nodded. “Yes, Beth is so tiny and beautiful. I was scared to hold her, lest she break.”

Yes, that is what Caroline thought as well. She had not been back to visit them yet, but she ought to. For some reason, she had always seen the rectory as beneath her status, but she now knew it couldn’t be farther from the truth. And her presence there was something she needed to amend posthaste.

“Would you like to choose another Christmas song, perhaps?” Caroline asked, digging through the stiff papers for the song she had in mind.

“Would it be something to play at your ball on Christmas day?” Martha asked.

Caroline paused, her eyes shooting up. “I had not considered that, but it’s a lovely thought. Would you like to?”

“I think so.” Martha smiled.

“Very well. We shall find a lovely solo for you, and you’ll be the star of the evening.” Caroline turned back to the pile of sheet music. “How about this one? I love this rendition of ‘Joy to the World’ and I think you will do remarkably.” She set the pages on the music rack and stepped back. “Here, have a seat, dear.”

Martha settled in at the pianoforte, leaning in and eyeing the sheets carefully before placing her hands on the keys. She plunked out the first few stanzas before smoothing them out, again leaving Caroline ever impressed.

Moving to the settee, Caroline requested tea be brought as steady music filled the room. She was reminded of the first time she had let the girls in after returning to Hamstead, how she thought it would be such an inconvenience, that the noise and the company would be so bothersome. But now, she loved that music filled Longford Manor again, and that she was present to witness it. If she had her way, she would be around to hear it for many years to come.

The music suddenly came to a halt, and Caroline looked up. “What do you think? Is it not the right piece?”

Martha shook her head, standing from the piano seat. “No, it is a lovely song, and I’ll be happy to play it. Only…I wondered if I might ask you a question, now that we’re alone.”

Caroline set down her teacup. “Of course.”

The young girl stood from her seat and moved to stand before Caroline, lifting her gaze to meet hers steadily. “Is it true that you are in love with my father?”

All possible air left her lungs, and Caroline’s throat tightened. She felt all the heat drain from her face, making her want to crumble up and run away and ultimately refuse the girl’s question. Instead, she swallowed and managed to say, “What makes you say that?”

Martha shrugged. “It was something Mr. Scrooge mentioned when you first came to town, that you used to care for Papa.”

Caroline was going to murder a clergyman.

She opened her mouth to answer many times, but she couldn’t seem to find the words.

“Was it an inappropriate question?” Martha asked, hiding one foot behind the other.

Something inside her did not want to push the girl away again, did not want to punish her request for a simple honest truth, for of all people, she deserved to know. But it might not be so simple after all.

Caroline swallowed hard and tried again. “Well, perhaps out in public or for others less acquainted, then yes. But for the time we have spent together, I believe it is a fair question.” Pursing her lips together, Caroline said, “Why don’t you come have a seat?”

Martha did as requested, sitting next to Caroline on the settee. Caroline still did not know what she was going to say as she prepared a plate of tea and biscuits for the girl, but she needed every bit of delay she could manage. Once Martha’s mouth was occupied with chewing, which would hopefully limit additional questions, Caroline let out a sigh.

“I wish I knew what to tell you. I did care for your father many years ago, but I was young and foolish, which often led to me being cruel and selfish. In doing so, I hurt your father greatly. So much time has passed, and we’re different people now… I would like to earn his trust again, and perhaps even his affection, but I’m certain I do not deserve the second chance.”

Martha listened intently, slowing her chews. “What about that grumpy duke?”

Caroline flinched. It was a valid question. “Yes, he did offer for me, but I have not given him an answer. I thought I ought to consider him, as it could provide a way for me to bring about much good in the world, but it would be a rather miserable existence by his side.” Caroline sheepishly looked up. “I suppose I ought to make it clear that I must decline, for my heart and intentions have belonged elsewhere for some time.”

At this, Martha grinned unexpectedly, her blue eyes sparkling. “That is what I hoped you would say, that you would find a reason to stay in Hamstead with us.”

Caroline’s heart strummed in her chest, for those very words had given her a reason beyond the one she already had. More than anything, Caroline wanted to maintain Martha’s approval. She had not considered it before, but if she wanted Robert in her life, by her side, as he always should have been, then of course she needed to be in good standing with his children. If she did have a chance with Robert again, marrying him would make her a step-mother. Her mind filled with sparks of realization, but it did not deter her in the least. It was still what she wanted, the path she chose. All of it.

“Thank you, Martha. I will do my best to be worthy of that.”

And that meant she had much that needed to be done before Christmas.

Including ending things with the duke once and for all.

When the grandfather clock struck the half hour, Caroline stood to her feet almost too quickly. “Come, Martha. I will see you home in my carriage, and then I will make a stop at the duke’s to give him my final answer.”

Her eyes grew large. “Did he not return to London as he said?”

Caroline blinked. “Oh, I do not know. I must certainly find out, and if he has, then I will write to him immediately.”

Martha clapped her hands together. “Excellent.” She fell into step beside Caroline as they made their way to the door, but then she stopped short. “Oh, wait. Actually… I was going to stop at the rectory and visit with Kitty. I can just walk there myself.”

Caroline paused. “Are you certain? The weather has turned rather cold.”

“It’s just around the corner,” Martha insisted as she shrugged on her coat. “And I’ll have Mr. Scrooge see me home after that.”

Raising an eyebrow, Caroline watched her carefully. She had a responsibility to see Martha home in order to keep her word to Robert, in order to maintain his trust. But if she truly was staying in Hamstead, then Caroline did need to go see the duke before he returned to London. Ending her ties with him would clear the way for any chance she might have with Robert.

“Very well. Hurry along, so you’re not stuck out in this cold.” Caroline tugged on Martha’s scarf to ensure it was secure before opening the door and watching her run down the lane. Then checking the cloud covered sky, Caroline hurried with her own cloak and called for the carriage.

“Has the duke returned to town?” she asked the footman.

Augustus shook his head. “I don’t believe so, mum. The weather may have delayed his trip.”

Caroline smirked. “Excellent. To Edgewood Estate, please.”

She sat stiff as a fire poker, despite the carriage jostling her from side to side. She hadn’t the slightest notion what she would say to the duke. She only knew that something had to be said. She had dragged her feet and avoided giving him an answer for too long. She knew what people would say of her, that she would be a fool to refuse a duke, even one as terrible as him. The opportunity to become a duchess was what some people lived their entire lives for. And she was giving it up for a chance with her first love, the lowly doctor of Hamstead. Was she mad?

She certainly was. Her life had been nothing but misery and emptiness since she had left him, written him off to seek for ‘better things.’ But none of it had amounted to anything. And she had come face to face with joy and friendship and laughter, true happiness, since she returned to Hamstead. She could not easily give that up. Not this time.

When the carriage came to a stop, Caroline swallowed her fear and rallied her courage. She had faced this nobleman before, and she would do it again.

The footman opened the door, allowing Caroline out into the cold. She walked up the long familiar path and up the steps to knock on the door. The butler let her in with a quizzical glance. “How do you do, Mrs. Marley?”

“Very well, thank you,” she responded, shedding off her cloak. “If His Grace is present, I would request a moment of his time. It will not take long.”

“Of course. Just this way.”

She followed him down the corridor until he announced her in the drawing room. She entered and curtsied graciously.

“What a delightful surprise,” said the Duke of Rothes. He sat in his bath chair, close to the fire, with a blanket across his lap. “I did not expect to see you again until London.”

“Nor did I, Your Grace,” she admitted.

The duke used his cane to beat the servant behind him on the leg, urging him to push the chair forward. “Yes, this deplorable weather came sooner than expected. Once the snow has melted and the roads are clear, I will return to London immediately. And after that, I do not intend to come back to Hamstead ever again.”

Caroline raised her eyebrows. “Is that so?”

“Yes, I believe I’ve had enough of this rabble. There are other great houses more conveniently located for when I travel to the north, so I have no need to retain this estate. When I leave for London, I have decided to sell this property once and for all.” He lifted his chin, setting his judgmental eyes on her. “And yourself? When will you be done with this village?”

Caroline eyed the servant behind the duke. She did not want him to suffer more beatings if she refused him with watching eyes. “I wonder, Your Grace, if I might request a moment of your time in private.”

She hated the raise of his eyebrows, as if he were expecting what would come next. “Very well. Leave us,” he said, waving his hand to the servants, who left the room and closed the door behind them.

Before she could speak, he said, “Won’t you sit, Mrs. Marley?”

Caroline shook her head. “I will stand, thank you. I believe what I have to say won’t take long.”

He eyed her for a moment before accepting her answer. “You know, Mrs. Marley, we are quite fortunate that we found each other here in the country.”

“Indeed, Your Grace?”

“Quite. I have traveled practically every inch of the country, and I do believe that I have not met my equal in society, and in fact, I never thought it would ever occur. My standards are quite impossible, you see, and I never assumed anyone could ever match them.”

Caroline wanted to cringe. She needed to stop him before his assumptions went too far.

“But you and I are so similar,” he went on. “Both wealthy and elegant, intelligent, both strikingly handsome,” he paused his words with a long perusal of her form and features, “and we have no patience for the impoverished beneath us. It is why I made you an offer of marriage, because you are the only woman I have met who is worthy to become my duchess.”

Every word he uttered confirmed her disgust, and her decision to refuse him. He certainly was not the sort of man she wanted to be compared to, let alone married to.

“Yes, Your Grace. You made me a generous offer of marriage, and I appreciate your patience while I took the time to consider your proposal.”

His lips parted in a smug grin that left her uneasy. “And you are here to accept, I presume?”

Caroline lifted her chin. “While I am honored by your partiality, Your Grace, unfortunately, I must decline your offer.”

The duke quirked an eyebrow, his smile unaltered. “Impossible.”

“I am in earnest, Your Grace. The truth is, I never should have considered your offer in the first place, as my heart has long resided elsewhere. I will not be returning to London and will in fact be remaining in Hamstead indefinitely.”

His countenance fell, and she could see the sting from her refusal in his eyes. “You are rejecting me, a duke of the realm, to settle for some landed gentry in the country? It is unfathomable.”

Caroline quirked a smile. “Actually, he is not part of the gentry or the nobility. He is a poor gentleman and a doctor, someone who stole my heart when I was a child.”

“And you are letting this silly romantic fascination cloud your judgment?” He scoffed. “I thought better of you, Mrs. Marley.”

Had anyone spoken so to her in London, it would have pricked her pride and flamed her anger. But somehow, his opinion simply didn’t matter to her any longer, and she just smiled. “You may think of me however you wish, Your Grace.” Then she curtsied in parting. “If you have nothing further to say, then I will be on my way.”

She turned to leave, but she knew he would not let her go so easily.

“You realize you are sacrificing your standing in society, and any worthy connection with this frivolous decision,” the duke called after her. “What is it about this rabble that has won your favor?”

Caroline paused and turned. “When I had been miserable in London over the last twelve years, I found happiness here, the last place I thought possible. With these people. I thought I had so much I could offer them, but they have given me far more in return.”

The duke pursed his lips in judgment. “So they’ve lured you in with their pity, and you’ll go the same way as your aunt, wasting away a lifetime of wealth on the unworthy.”

Thoughts of the less fortunate came to her mind, like the Dilbers. “I would argue that the humble are all the more worthy to receive.”

He sniffed haughtily in response. “If the good Lord wanted me to be humble, then perhaps he should not have made me a duke.”

“On the contrary, Your Grace. Perhaps that is the very reason you are.” Caroline stared him in the eye. “Your one lot in life is to learn some humility and to overcome your great pride. I have learned my lesson and will now spend my life attempting to do good. I hope you will take a moment of introspection and choose the same.” She nodded in parting and saw herself out.