Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

R obert sat in prickly anticipation as the church filled with Christmas hymns from the pianoforte. His eyes kept flickering to the sideways box seat intended for Mrs. Marley, but he fought against the desire every time. She had not arrived yet, but her face and her words from their last meeting were constantly repeating in his mind, nestling under his heart. Festering. He didn’t know how to proceed with Caroline in town. They were two very different people with lives that went in different directions. But he couldn’t deny that deep down, she was still very much a part of him, much to his great dismay.

Local friends and neighbors all filtered into the chapel and took their seats in the pews, but Robert didn’t really see them, for being so lost in his thoughts. Even when families took their seats in the pew in front of him and greeted him and his girls, Robert only blindly gave a brief acknowledgement. It wasn’t until his name was softly called from the side entrance did he blink and turn his head.

The Nichols family had entered the church, and moved toward the pews beneath the windows, but they all had waved to him with cheery smiles, and Robert did not miss how the unmarried Miss Alice blushed when nodding and smiling in his direction. Oh how he wished he could even entertain the idea. A young pretty girl, unbothered and untainted the way he had been years ago, someone like her would breathe new life to his heavy world. But as he continuously reminded himself, she deserved better, and his heart was not available anyway.

The chapel doors opened again, and Robert turned perhaps too quickly to see who had entered. It was not Caroline Marley, but instead Mr. and Mrs. Fezziwig, two of the most delightful people in town.

“How do you do, Mr. Cratchit?” she greeted, taking a seat next to him on the pew as she haloo’d quietly to others in the chapel. Mr. Fezziwig nodded in greeting, a plump pleasant fellow in his own right, but he had grown accustomed to smiling quietly behind the machinations of his wife.

“What’s all this?” Robert asked, motioning toward the large basket she held.

“Have you brought treats for us?” Martha asked at Robert’s shoulder, making Tim’s head snap to attention.

Mrs. Fezziwig chuckled and shook her finger. “Tut, tut, children. Not in church. This is a surprise for everyone as soon as the sermon is dismissed.” Then she let her gaze flow across the room until it also landed on Caroline’s empty box seat.

“No Mrs. Marley yet, hmm?” Mrs. Fezziwig turned to face the front and settled further into her seat. “She came to visit me, you know, just calling for tea. I did not expect such a gesture, but it was delightful for her to maintain our acquaintance.” She lowered her voice and leaned over toward Robert. “The gossip isn’t accurate, of course, for everyone said she was now the spitting image of her father, when that certainly isn’t the case. The man, cold and cruel as he was, is nothing compared to the woman Mrs. Marley is now.”

Robert sniffed. “Perhaps it is not her appearance the gossips referred to, but her manner.”

“Yes, well, no amount of money could have saved her from that.” Mrs. Fezziwig nudged Robert with her elbow. “But perhaps a loving heart could.”

Unable to keep from rolling his eyes, Robert said, “You think my influence on her too great, Mrs. Fezziwig, for she cares nothing for my opinion or my heart.” He hoped the bitterness had been at least somewhat restrained in his voice.

“Or perhaps, it is your opinion and your heart that would bring about the most good, the most change in her. Your forgiveness could be the start of a transformation that would alter her entire life for the better.”

His entire chest was starting to swell with each passing moment, as he considered what that forgiveness would feel like. He didn’t hate Caroline, but that didn’t mean he wanted to welcome her back into his life with open arms. He thought he had forgiven her long ago, but pain and resentment still lingered. Perhaps those were the only things protecting him from her now.

Eventually Robert sighed and shook his head good-naturedly. “Your optimism, Mrs. Fezziwig, will likely be the only thing that changes this cruel and difficult world.”

She waved him off. “It only has to start with one person.”

There was no time for Robert to consider her words for the chapel doors opened a final time and Caroline entered, looking beautifully lavish, and easily like the wealthiest in the room by far. She still boasted her cloak, the unique blueish green color a symbol of her superiority, over a resplendent purple dress, everything accentuated with pins and baubles to outshine anyone. Perhaps she didn’t know that it made her stand out like a sore thumb, or she did and it was exactly what she wanted. She strode in without making eye contact with a single soul, and took her seat in the exclusive side box, her lips pursed in disdain, or perhaps even boredom.

Fred rose to the pulpit and began his sermon for the day, so Robert tried to listen. The message spoke of the scriptures’ inimitable example of giving and kindness, and the goal to strive for such generosity. Robert needed the sermon today. For he would willingly accept he was not a perfect person, and he needed to change and always better himself just as much as the next man. But as Tim snuggled close to his side, Robert knew others deserved just as much grace and forgiveness as he required for himself. Perhaps Mrs. Fezziwig was right, and the only way he could make a better life for him and his family was to release the anger that had a hold on his heart for far too long.

After the service ended, the congregation filed out, and Mrs. Fezziwig took her place just beside Fred on the church steps. Her basket was revealed to have countless invitations, and she handed one out to every man or woman that exited.

“Come one, come all!” she cheered excitedly. “These are invitations to my Christmastime charity ball, though you needn’t feel obligated to donate. I only wish for everyone to come and dance and eat and enjoy themselves during the holidays.”

Robert’s children ran off to play with friends as he accepted the invitation with a smile. “You are too kind, Mrs. Fezziwig.”

“No, not at all. It is one of my favorite times of year, you understand.” And then her attention turned to whoever stood behind him.

“Good day, good day to you!” Mrs. Fezziwig greeted as people continued to exit the church. “Now Mrs. Nichols, I don’t believe I’ve yet had the privilege to meet your family.”

Mrs. Nichols was only too eager to make the introductions. “This is my son and his children, and this is my eldest granddaughter, Miss Alice.”

Then Caroline appeared in the doorway, drawing Mrs. Nichols’ eye, who then lifted her chin. “She is the talk of the town in Bristol, and quite an eligible match, for she will inherit three thousand pounds upon her marriage.”

Robert wanted to cringe for the obvious statement. Three thousand pounds was pin money to Caroline Marley.

“How very nice to meet you all,” Mrs. Fezziwig went on. “And you must certainly come to my Christmas ball.”

“We would be delighted, mum,” Mr. Nichols said, tipping his hat as they walked on.

Then upon spotting Caroline, Mrs. Fezziwig reached over and clutched her hands in a dramatic fashion.

“Your invitation, Mrs. Marley, and I beg you to come. I must insist.”

“I… but of course, Mrs. Fezziwig,” Caroline stammered, no doubt shocked to be handled so abruptly.

“This was something that your aunt and I had planned for ages, therefore I will hold it in her honor, and I wish for you to serve as a hostess with me on her behalf.”

Robert watched as Caroline slowly nodded in understanding, then swallowed in a no doubt reluctant acceptance. “Very well.”

Mrs. Fezziwig grinned at her before rushing off to hand out more invitations. Fred snickered behind her, earning Caroline’s fierce glare.

“This will be perfect preparation for your own party, will it not, Caroline?” he teased.

“Hush, Fred,” she said, her voice tinged with something sharp like a warning.

“Aren’t you looking forward to it, Robert?” Fred asked.

Robert swallowed himself. He had yet to receive an invitation, but he was still undecided on if he and his family would attend. “Good luck with planning the festivities,” he said to Caroline, nodding in parting and taking a step back. “Aunt Fanny’s Christmas ball has always been the talk of the village this time of year. I’m pleased to hear you’re taking it up in your aunt’s—”

“It will be different this year,” she began, fiddling with her gloves in distraction. “Not something open to the public, but with a select few invitations sent out. It will meet the demands of the will, I will inherit the sum, and then the property will be sold.”

Robert’s breath stuck in his throat. To have it all presented to him so matter-of-factly, without an ounce of emotion. He should have known. But it seemed even her brother hadn’t known, for he too appeared shocked by the admission.

“I see.” Robert had no hopes or expectations where Caroline was concerned, and yet somehow, he still found himself disappointed. “Good day to you, then.”

Reaching down for Tim’s hand and calling for Martha to follow, Robert turned down the path that led home. He would not look back at her, lest it confirm him to be every sort of fool.

Upon arriving home, Robert found his way to his seat by the fireplace and collapsed into it with a sigh. He wished a day at church would have rejuvenated him, but instead he felt weary, for one woman kept him from having any real peace.

His mother-in-law seemed to notice, for she came to stand beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you unwell? Should I ask the rector to come by?”

Robert shook his head. He knew all too well that Fred would assume he was nothing more than love-sick, which was not something he had the strength to argue at the moment. “It is nothing so big as all that.”

“Would it perchance be connected to a young lady?”

At this, Robert’s eyes flew open wide. He had not considered speaking to his mother-in-law about the possibility of his ever marrying again, but she was a wise woman, and he would welcome her counsel.

“Children, why don’t you go upstairs to clean up for supper?” Robert said. He couldn’t have such a conversation with Martha’s earnest ears nearby. She was certainly mature enough for such things, but he didn’t want to burden her any more than necessary. Especially if she would be returning to Caroline’s house for music practice.

Once the pitter patter of the children’s feet had disappeared upstairs, Mrs. Rosemont said, “All right, out with it.”

Robert let out a sigh. “I do not seek to complain, Mother,” he said.

“This much I know to be true, because you would not speak of anything if I did not urge it out of you.” She sat in the chair across from him, her brows furrowed in concern. “But you have seemed weary for some time now, which leaves me wondering if it is time for you to seek out a companion again. Edith would not want you to be lonely and miserable.”

Robert fought off the urge to laugh. “So it’s you too, then? It seems half the town is trying to marry me off, and I thought for certain you would not be on that list.”

Mrs. Rosemont pursed her lips together and looked at her feet. “My daughter’s final request was to look after you until someone else could. And while I will continue to do so for as long as is needed, I do think it’s time. You’re a wonderful gentleman, and any young lady would be lucky to have you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Robert said with a sigh. “I’m a poor country doctor, with two young children, and not enough income to properly care for them. What lady, young or otherwise, would willingly insert herself in such a situation?”

“It might not matter to some like it would to others.” Mrs. Rosemont offered a gentle smile. “Is it Miss Nichols that has you all tied up in knots?”

Robert blinked. “Unfortunately not. If only it were that easy.” He sighed, running a hand over his face. “No, though she is a sweet girl, I have not thought on her at all.”

“Oh. I see.” His mother-in-law sat a little straighter, her brows now higher than before. “Then it must be Mrs. Marley, the rector’s sister. What don’t I know of her?”

Robert swallowed, not wanting to recount the story. “Her family left town before you and Edith moved here. Caroline and I had grown up together. We were friends, and became very close as we neared adulthood, to the point that we had discussed marriage.” His heart raced, remembering those days. “But then she told me such a thing would never happen, that I was a fool to think myself her equal, and she went off to marry a wealthy man in London.”

“How very dreadful of her,” Mrs. Rosemont muttered.

Robert nodded in agreement. “I had never expected to see her again, but now that she’s returned…” He paused to swallow the lump in his throat. “It is easy to remember all the feelings from back then. The youthful longing, the sentimental attachment, alongside the pain from her rejection. It’s all very confusing.”

Mrs. Rosemont listened intently. “I presume she has not given you any indication of her change of temperament? In returning her affection for you now?”

“No, of course not.” Robert shook his head. “That’s why it’s all the more difficult. I only wish she would leave with great urgency.”

“Very well. Then I will pray that your heart will be spared from the wench, and that perhaps you can find peace and love with someone else.” Mrs. Rosemont lowered her voice as the children returned. “Then maybe you could consider Miss Nichols more earnestly.”

Robert’s chest tightened at the thought. Mrs. Rosemont was right. The widow’s granddaughter was lovely, plenty old enough to be a good mother, and to understand the gravity of his situation before agreeing to it. But that didn’t make him feel any better about signing someone on to his lot in life, for she likely deserved better than anything he had to offer.