Chapter Thirty-Two

Archer grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch. He sits and pulls me down next to him. I curl up into his side. He gently starts playing with my hair. I wait for him to say something but he doesn't.

We sit there for a few minutes as I walk myself off the ledge I feel like I'm standing on.

Finally, I shift my weight and sit up, crossing my legs. He turns and mimics my position until our knees are touching. I let out a big breath.

"Okay, so I'm not sure if you've noticed anything off with me lately . . ." I start and pause, trying to read his face. He just nods. I continue. "Well, I've had some health issues for a few years that we've been trying to work out. I've been to a bunch of doctors and did a bunch of tests trying to figure out what's wrong. Nothing was working."

"How painful is it?" Archer asks.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "What?"

"Your joints. Are they really bad?" Archer questions, as he gently rubs my knees.

I hesitate for a second. "How did you know the pain is in my joints?"

"You wince a lot after shows if you move too fast or someone touches you roughly. You pop pain meds like they're breath mints." He just shrugs like it was an obvious answer.

"Oh, okay, well," I pause taken aback by his words.

"Keep going. What else?" Archer pushes. He continues making small circles on my knee.

"Well, when the medicine and the physical therapy wasn't working, they finally decided to try something else. They were convinced it wasn't this from the get go because I didn't present as someone with this illness but when nothing else worked, they were kind of out of options. They had brought other doctors in to brainstorm and they had come up short each time. I believe the exact phrasing they used at one point was that I ‘confused all of the doctors.' This was kind of their last hope. So they started me on a new medication and we all hoped for the best. They had told me that it could take a while for the meds to build up in my system so I may not get relief right away. I kid you not though, the next day I was already feeling better."

"So the Lupus medication was the key to figuring out the problem?" Archer asks, his face serious.

I give him a sideways look. "I never said it was Lupus." I lock eyes with him waiting for his response.

"You always seemed like you were in pain. You avoided going out in the sun for too long and if you couldn't avoid it, you were always looking for shade. You carry an aroma of sunscreen more times than not. You're tired all the time. I don't know a lot of popstars," he pauses to laugh, "but I'd say you seem more tired than the average one. I did some research." He shrugs again.

"You did research?" I ask, sitting up straighter.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I could tell something was wrong. I would've asked you but I figured I wouldn't get an answer from you. At least not until you were ready to tell me. I felt so helpless because I knew something wasn't right. I wanted to help. Or at least make things easier if that was possible," Archer says as if it isn't that big of a deal.

"Archer," I say, trying to keep my voice steady. My vision starts to blur as tears spill out. Archer leans over and gently wipes them from my cheeks.

"Alison, what's wrong?" Concern takes over his face.

"Nothing," I whisper. "Nothing's wrong. I just can't believe you took the time to do that."

"It really isn't that big of a deal. Just took a few hours of deep Internet diving."

"But it is a big deal, Archer. The fact that you cared enough to do that."

He just shrugs again. He really has no idea how much this means to me.

Something dawns on me. "The nighttime beach date? You planned it then because you knew . . ."

"Yeah."

I look at Archer's face and smile, not believing the man sitting in front of me. This man that was a stranger to me not that long ago. This man that I couldn't stand the thought of when I first met him. This man who has shown me more genuine kindness and empathy in this short time than I've experienced in my lifetime.

"Archer, I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say. I care about you, Alison. It's what people do when they care about someone."

I nod my head as another tear falls. He takes his thumb and gently wipes away the tear. I lean forward and rest my forehead against his. We sit like that for awhile before I finally break the quiet.

"Are you sure you want this?" I whisper.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," he whispers back.

"But I'm broken."

Archer quickly sits back to look at me. "You're not broken," he says sternly.

I nod my head. "But I am. My body doesn't work right. My immune system can't even do its job correctly. I can't go in the sun. I have to rest often and take it easy more than someone my age. And that's only what's wrong right now. Who knows what this is all going to look like in the future."

"Who said that to you? Who called you broken?" Archer jumps in, anger starting to seep into his voice.

"It doesn't matter. It's true." I put my head down.

Archer looks at me for a few moments before he speaks. "Alison Dorothea Quick."

I look up at him and raise my eyebrows at his use of my middle name. I've never told him my middle name. Then it dawns on me.

"Willow," I whisper.

Archer runs his hand across his mouth as if he was zipping it closed. Clearly, Willow threatened him to keep their secret.

"You are not broken. You are beautifully you. You've overcome so much and you have done it so gracefully. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. You're not broken. You're a warrior," he says in a firm voice.

I look up at him with admiration. "So you're okay with all of this? Okay with me?"

Archer gives me a quick kiss. "The Lupus part, I can handle." He kisses me again. "I'm just not so sure about the popstar thing." He grins.

"Jerk," I say as I slap his shoulder and then lean towards him until our lips meet.