Chapter Eighteen

Iknock on the door, take in a big breath, and start counting. Willow is standing in the doorway smiling before I can get past thirteen.

"Ali! Hey! What's up? Come in. Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would've ordered us lunch," Willow sings.

"Oh, it was a last minute decision. I have to get to rehearsal here in a second, but I just needed to talk," I say, nervously rubbing my hands on my arms.

"Is everything okay?" Willow questions, concern filling her eyes.

"Yeah, everything's fine. It's just . . ." I pause for a second, biting my lip, "Archer showed up at my room last night."

"Tell me everything!" Willow shouts as she grabs my hand and pulls me towards the couch. "Don't leave out any details either."

She grabs the remote, shuts the TV off, and then turns towards me, waiting for me to start talking.

"I mean, there's not a lot to tell. It wasn't super eventful. He came and brought pizza, chicken fingers, pop and . . ."

"Wait. Did he bring ranch?"

I smile as I nod. "He did in fact have ranch with him."

"Thatta boy!" Willow shouts as she pumps her fist. I give her a sideways look.

She quickly regains her composure. "Keep going," she says, clearly trying to suppress her grin a bit. I don't even want to know what that was about.

"Okay, well we ate and he ended up falling asleep for a bit. He woke up and wanted to watch a movie. I ended up falling asleep. Then he left."

"Girl, you know you're going to have to do better than that. I need moooooore," Willow demands.

"There's not much to tell. Like I said it was uneventful."

"See, I want to believe you, but I feel like if that was the end of the story, then you wouldn't be here right now," she points out. She knows too much for her own good.

I slowly nod my head and push a curl behind my ear. "You're right."

"I knew it! What happened?" Willow practically squeaks as she tucks her feet under her on the couch.

"Well, it's not that anything happened, it's more the conversation that we had. He's just different than I initially thought."

"Imagine that," she laughs. "So did he confess his undying love for you or something?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes, Willow, that's exactly what he did," I say with mock sarcasm.

"Hey, I wouldn't be surprised, you're kind of a catch. Any guy would be lucky to call you his." She bats her eyelashes at me.

I push her shoulder. "Shut up. You have to say that. You're my best friend."

"I mean, technically I do, but it doesn't mean it's not the truth," Willow states matter of fact.

"Okay, anyway . . ." I continue. "He's just so . . ."

"Gorgeous, sweet, talented, beautiful," Willow starts rattling off, putting up a finger for every trait she lists.

"Wil, can you just let me talk?" I ask.

"Okay, okay," she says as she takes her hands and covers her own mouth. "I'll shut up," she says, her voice muffled by her fingers.

"Thank you." I nod my head. "But yes, now that you mention it, he is all those things."

"See! I knew it!" Willow shouts.

I raise my eyebrows up at her. She quickly throws her hands back over her mouth. I clear my throat and continue.

"He's so kind. And not in the fake ‘I'm a celebrity so everyone tries to get on my good side' kind of way. In the sincere, genuinely cares about people kind of way. It's been a long time since I've met someone like that. Someone who actually wants me to be okay and wants to know what's going on. Someone who genuinely cares to check on you and help if they can. I just feel like I could trust him, you know? Like he would listen to me and try to be understanding with everything and anything. Which is crazy because I barely even know him."

"So you told him then? About everything going on with you?" she asks with expectant eyes.

"Oh heck no! I said I felt like I could trust him, not that I actually did." I lay back in my chair and close my eyes.

"You know, Ali. It would be okay . . . if you did," Willow says quietly.

"Okay if I did what?" I say, slightly opening my eyes to peek at her.

"It would be okay," she pauses for a second, "if you told him. About it all."

"Willow, I hardly even know the guy. Yeah, we've spent a lot of time together rehearsing, but that was all professional. I don't know who he actually is underneath all of that."

"Then figure it out. Figure out who he is deep down. Once you realize he's exactly who you just said he is, then tell him."

"Why are you pushing this so much?" I ask, starting to get annoyed. "You know how this all started, or have you already forgotten? It wasn't on a particularly good note."

"Yeah, but that was before you actually knew him. Opinions of a person can change, you know. You judged him based on him ‘trespassing into your territory' not the real him. If you're starting to see the real him, why are you fighting that? Why are you trying to hold on to your warped image of who you thought he was going to be?"

I take a second to process her words. Deep down, I know she's right. She usually is. I don't like telling her that though, because her head can get pretty big pretty fast.

"It's just . . ." I trail off.

"It's just, you have a hard time letting people in," Willow confidently finishes.

"Hey! That's not true. I let you in. And my family." I nod as if to say ‘see I'm right.'

"Ali, that's not letting people in. Come on."

"It's just not easy, okay. You, out of everyone, should understand why. You've been there through it all. You know how I feel about all of this," I say, make a circle gesture above my head.

"I do, Ali, I really do. I can't imagine what it's like being in your position. I can only guess at how exhausting being in the spotlight all the time is for you. Not to mention on top of everything else you're dealing with. I know you love what you do, but I also know it comes with a price. I can understand why you're afraid to let anyone too close. That fear of what they can do with any information you give them is valid. I know they can use you for their own glory, but that doesn't mean that every person you meet is going to do that to you. You said you feel that Archer is genuine. That he cares. Right?"

"Yes," I answer as I twirl a curl around my finger.

"Well, I agree. My gut is telling me that he's one of the good ones. And you know my gut is almost never wrong." She points at her stomach as she smiles. "This bad boy knows what it's talking about."

I laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Well, Al, you need to figure out what your gut is telling you. But more importantly, what your heart is telling you."

I think for a second and then quickly jump up and give her a hug. "Thanks, Wil. I have to go get ready for rehearsal."

She hugs me back and then pulls away, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "I know. I'm the literal best. You're so lucky to have me in your life."

"Shut up!" I punch her in the shoulder. "I'll see you later."

"Knock ‘em dead, sister!" Willow shouts as I run out the door.

As I'm heading to my room, I run the whole conversation over and over in my head. I hear what she's saying and she's right. I need to let more people in. I need to open up. I need to stop bottling everything up until I feel like I'm going to explode. The only thing I'm not sure on is if Archer is the right person to let in.