Chapter 24

Twenty-Four

Rowan

It's the first day of preseason training, and yesterday was the first day I didn't see Leigh in I don't remember how long. A month maybe? So I'm at my locker, making sure I'll see her tonight. Hockey season is about to start, and our time together is going to dramatically decrease.

I miss your pussy.

You. I want to say you, but I don't know how she'd take it.

You dropping the whole horny thing then?

I'm horny AND I miss your pussy.

First line was better.

Can I see you tonight?

There. It's out there. I'm actually asking instead of making sexual innuendos.

Sure.

When can you be at my place?

Want to come to my place for a change?

She's never offered her place before, but I'd love to see where she lives because I'm sure it says a lot about who she is. Then again, I'm not supposed to want to know more about her.

The two little devils on opposite shoulders argue—when are you going to own the fact that you want her for more than just sex? one asks. When she gives me a sign that she wants that too, the other one says.

Sure. Address?

She sends me her address, and I save it under her contact.

Send me a pic?

She sends me one of her knee cap.

I do love your knees, but I was hoping for a little higher up.

She sends me one of her outside thigh. She must be wearing a dress.

A little to the left.

She sends me a pic of her inner thigh.

Keep going.

She sends me a picture that cuts off right before the juncture of her thighs, and my mouth salivates for another one. Even with her panties still on. I don't care.

"Shit, is that the girl?" Conor asks over my shoulder, and my phone drops to the bench.

I push him in the chest and grab my phone before she sends anything more revealing, and these dipshits get a glimpse at her. "Fuck off."

"Relax, it's her leg, not her tits." Conor goes over to his locker. "You're in deep, huh? Getting all hot and bothered by a thigh." He laughs.

"He's a goner, but still in denial," Tweetie says across the locker room.

I check my phone, and she sends me one last picture of her one leg open and one side of her panties. God, I want to be inside her right now.

I can't wait to lick you right there, but I have to get on the ice. Keep it wet for me.

I turn off the screen and put my phone in my bag, then finish getting ready. We all head out, Tweetie and Conor continuing to give me shit until their skates hit the ice.

"You know it's okay to like her, right?" Henry says, falling in line with me.

I skate onto the ice, drop the puck, and practice my stick handling. "It's not like that. We're just having fun."

He does the same as me, and I'm thankful because I really don't want to have this conversation.

"You haven't seen her yet?" I hear Tweetie asking Conor. "She's at the building all the damn time. Dark hair, great tits, and an amazing ass."

"Shit, she sounds hot," Conor says, skating toward the goal.

"She is. Too bad Magic found her first. I would've snatched her away." Tweetie smiles wide at me, and I shoot a puck at him. It flies up and hits him. "Now you're acting jealous. Buy a ring already."

"How come I haven't heard anything much about her from you?" Conor asks, doing some warm-up stretches before we start hammering him with pucks.

"Because she's not my girlfriend. She's just a girl." I hate saying that about Leigh, but I'm not the type of guy who pours his heart out to his teammates.

Henry scoffs under his breath, passing me behind the net. I'm not sure why he has so much to say about it. I don't see him looking for the love of his life. Then again, he has to consider Bodhi as well.

"Hate to break it to you, but permanent pussy is pretty much a girlfriend," Conor says. "Are you stringing her along?"

I stand idle and knock the puck around with my stick. I'm not playing her. She could be playing me though I guess, which shouldn't hurt as much as it does right now. "It's a mutual thing. Neither of us want anything serious."

Conor looks at Tweetie, and they both laugh.

"What?" I glare at them.

"I guarantee she's hoping you'll change your mind. She's probably playing hard to get to keep you chasing. She thinks she can change your mind eventually." Conor shakes his head.

"She's not like that. She's different. Not a puck bunny." I argue in her defense because to me, she is different. So different from any woman before her.

"So, she didn't know who you were when you met?" Conor asks, raising his eyebrows.

"That's a hard ask. I'm Rowan fucking Landry." I play it off because she did admit that she reads the hockey blogs. Which means she knew my reputation—my false reputation—before I talked to her.

"Look who's pretending to be cocky now." Conor motions with a gloved hand my way.

Tweetie skates around me and steals the puck. "You should be cocky. Settling down at this stage of your career is really shitty to the rest of your crew."

I'm pretty sure Tweetie is joking, but there's something in the way he's trying to play it off like he thinks monogamy and settling down are a bad thing that I'm not buying.

"Exactly, I just got here. Come on, you can't prefer dinners in with your girl over a club filled with girls grabbing for your dick." Conor rotates his neck, cracking it.

I'm happy to see Coach coming out. He'll get me the hell out of this conversation.

"You guys sound like Neanderthals." Henry, being the disciplined player he is, skates back and forth, working on his footwork.

"You already strapped yourself down with Bodhi, so we gave up on you a long time ago." Tweetie shoots me the puck, and I skate behind the net and down to center.

"And you'll die a lonely old man." Henry raises his eyebrows. "Don't give Magic shit just because you already passed up on your soulmate."

Fuck, Hensley really went there.

Tweetie's jaw clenches, and I prepare for a showdown, but I get why Hensley said it. You come after Bodhi, he's gonna fire back. "She obviously wasn't my soulmate, and don't talk about shit you don't know about."

I shoot Tweetie the puck to give him something to concentrate on other than beating Henry to the ground.

"Back at you," Henry says, his mouth a firm line.

"Fine."

"Way to deal with your aggression, boys. I'm proud of you." Conor laughs. "I thought for a moment I'd be able to grab a unit at The Nest. Oh, can I tell you…my little sister knows what that place is called."

"Sister? I like sisters." Tweetie stops skating in front of Conor, whose eyes narrow.

"Not on your life. She already knows never to date one of my teammates. I made that clear a long fucking time ago."

"Jeez, it's like you're sweetening the pot. I like the challenge too." Tweetie grins. "And now you're living with me for the foreseeable future. Why don't we have a sleepover with her and get to know each other better?"

Conor's expression says it all—try it, and he's not going to be as gracious as Henry. I'm pretty sure you cross that line with Conor and that calm demeanor he usually displays will turn feral. Even in college when he'd mention his sister, it was obvious he was overprotective.

"Okay, boys, let's go!" Coach shouts.

Thank God.

Our first practice isn't bad. We're split into drills. I'm excited to be back at it even if my nerves about starting the season strong are always under the surface.

After my shower, I'm packing my bag, and Henry sits down next to me. Half the locker room has already cleared out. Conor and Tweetie left a few minutes ago to get something to eat. Henry has to get Bodhi, and I'm heading to Leigh's—right after I buy a box of condoms.

"If you want to talk, I'm here." Henry zips up his bag. "It looks like you're struggling with something lately."

I stare at my duffle bag between my feet. "I'm good."

"Rowan," he says, "you don't have to play her off to me. I get it."

I look beside me. "Who?"

He shakes his head. "Someone I used to know a long time ago. But we were young, and she needed to find herself, and it wasn't going to be following me around so I could play hockey. I let her go."

The thought of letting Leigh go feels like being crushed by a thousand-pound weight.

"I'm pretty sure she's going through something, but she doesn't want to talk about it, and I don't ask any questions," I say. "I'm not sure this thing with us is going anywhere. In fact, we both agreed that it wouldn't. I might have to let her go."

He nods. "Or you hold on tight and help her through it. This job isn't easy. Our schedule sucks during the season, and to start a relationship right now isn't ideal. But if you feel something for her, you should go with it instead of pushing it away."

I nod, but it's a step I've never taken, and that scares the shit out of me. "You just said you let yours go."

He huffs. "That was different. Like I said, we were young, and she had dreams she'd never fulfill alongside me trying to fulfill mine in hockey. My parents died young, and I was raised by my grandparents."

"Shit, I'm sorry." I frown.

He nods. "Yeah, but my grandparents enrolled me in the Big Brother Big Sister program, and Reed, the big brother who was assigned to me, took an active role in my upbringing. I was lucky to have him. I'm not sure where I was going with this…oh yeah, she's his stepdaughter and was my best friend until our teenage hormones took over." He chuckles, but it's forced. He clearly loved the girl. He pats me on the back. "Anyway, if you want to talk it out, I'm here. Regrets can live with you forever, but if you take the chance and fail, at least you know the outcome. That's what got me through this process of finding a spot in the league. I didn't want to let her go, but I would've regretted her staying here and never figuring out the person she was meant to be."

He walks toward the doors of the locker room. I hang my head and blow out a breath before standing and picking up my duffle bag.

My phone vibrates from inside with a text from my agent.

Endorsement is all set. Ten o'clock on Saturday and plan for the entire day. It's all three of you.

I put a thumbs up and scroll to my text thread with Leigh. The last picture is a glimpse of her black thong, but I really wish it was her smiling face.

On my way.

See you soon.

I stare at the three words, and my stomach clenches. Henry's right. The sex is off the charts, but deep down, I want more than just her body. I want the part of her she's closed off from me. I want to be the one to take care of her wounds and heal her scars. And that just complicates things. The question is, does she like complicated?