Chapter 30

And just like that, everything changed.

I never expected that I could ever take things slowly with Charlize, but being with her has made me see things in a whole new light. It's made me better. It's made me reevaluate things and compromise; something I never thought I was capable of doing.

I guess declaring your love for someone will do that to you. Thinking of someone else's needs, aside from your own, is a new concept for me. I've not had much practice at it, but they say that practice makes perfect, and I hope that to be true.

Charlize went back to her shitty neighbourhood for a few nights after we got back from Gloucestershire, and I lay awake wondering if I'd done the right thing by letting her go. But apparently that's not what ‘taking things slow' means. Fuck that. I got my driver to drop me off at her place in the middle of the night, wondering what the hell I was thinking to let her go.

When she answered the door she was shocked to see me. I didn't text to tell her I was coming, I just went on impulse…

"Alistair, we said we were taking things slow, remember?" Her voice is soft and gentle. All the things I love about her, including her ridiculous smurf pyjamas and bedhead hair. My lips twitch in amusement. It is the dead of night, after all.

"We still can, but from the safety of home. You can have all the space you need to think. I won't pester you or try to come to your room," I say, knowing I'm likely to drive her away if I push too hard. I know she wants this, but we have to be sure. I'm a hundred percent sure, but she needs to be, too. "I know we're good together, but this has to be more about us than the sex, Charlize, I get that. If we're going to go the distance, we have to know each other, warts and all."

Her face softens. "That was kinda sweet. Except the warts part."

I chuckle, pulling her into my arms. I mean every word.

Every other relationship I've ever had has been physical. I shared very little with any of my girlfriends or exes. Not like I have with her. Charlize opening up about the abuse she suffered from the hands of her grandmother tore me apart. It made me feel sicker than I could ever imagine, knowing that she'd been at the mercy of that woman has taken me some time to try and come to terms with.

Maybe one day I'll forgive myself, but this isn't about me.

I meant what I said about wanting Charlize to have a good life, and even if that's not with me, I'd have to come to terms with it.

"So, do we have a deal? We'll date, and I'll stay out of your room and not fuck you until you beg me for it."

"That won't take too long."

I smooth her hair back, rubbing her nose with mine. "I'm serious, my darling. I want this to work. I want to get to know you. All about you, without the sex. Maybe when you know me properly, you won't like what you see."

She wraps her arms around my neck. "That isn't possible and you know it."

"I could be a slob."

"You're not. I've seen your wardrobe and I've ransacked your fridge. You're a neat freak. Some may say that's a red flag."

I chuckle. "I'm a walking red flag, baby, haven't you heard?"

And that's how the woman of my dreams moved into my house and we started dating and getting to know each other. Day by day. Little by little.

The weeks fly by and I know Ariana's birthday is coming up because it's all Charlize has been going on about. I want to surprise her with my jet; fly her to Seattle so she can spend some time with her friends. I know how much she misses them, and if she stays in London permanently, then we're going to be commuting a lot.

"Your move," she says over the chess board. Yes. This is how I've been spending my nights. Drinking red wine, eating cheese and dip and learning all about everything Charlize.

"You know you can't win," I tease.

"That's because you're some kind of chess Yoda freak."

"I've no idea what that means."

"A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, perhaps?"

I glance up. "Your Aussie slang has no place in this house."

"Don't spit the dummy, you'll be right."

I try not to laugh. Her Australian sayings sometimes go right over my head.

"I need a dictionary around you." I move my pawn into position, hiding my smirk.

"Tell him he's dreaming. This is a dog's breakfast."

"Stop trying to talk your way out of losing, again."

"Although you think this is better than a ham sandwich, I think I have buckley's chance of winning. I should go walkabout."

"Spoken like a sore loser?"

She rolls her eyes. "Have a go, you mug. I'm as mad as a cut snake."

"You know, I used to find your accent so endearing."

She gives me a pout and flutters her eyelashes at me. "And now?"

"And now, not so much."

"Hey!"

"Your move."

She looks back down at the chessboard, moving her queen. And then I see her mistake. Of course, I can't let her win. If I lose, I get to do the dishes for the next week. We can't have that.

I move my King and say. "Check mate."

"Goddamn it!"

"Spitting the dummy?" I laugh at my own joke. It's so absurd to use a phrase like that to depict being mad.

"Ha ha, is that the only slang you know?"

"Put another shrimp on the barbie, mate?"

"We don't even do that in Australia, nor do we say it. Like drinking XXXX. But I do think we need to do a shoey to celebrate your win."

I frown. "What's a shoey, pray tell?"

She giggles. "Agree first, then I'll tell you."

I snort. "You obviously think I'm stupider than I look."

"If Kylie Minogue can do it at the Brit Awards, you can."

"Wait. Does that mean to drink out of a shoe?"

"Yes, but in Kylie's case they were Manolo Blahniks."

I throw my head back and laugh. "I'm not drinking out of a shoe, or a Manolo Blahnik, I can assure you."

"You're no fun." She pouts. She leans over the table and plants a kiss on my lips.

"What was that for?" I ask when she pulls back.

We haven't had sex since we got back from the country, and my balls are fucking turning blue. But I will admit, when you don't centre everything around sex, it makes you think about all the other things that are important.

"For being so sweet."

"I thought I was a pain in your arse, according to you."

She wrinkles her nose. "That's only when you're being moody."

"Which is most of the time?"

"Men have a cycle too, I'm sure of it."

I laugh. "You think?"

"No. I know."

"I guess you won't want what I have for you tonight then?"

Her eyes light up. "What might that be, Mr. Devereaux?"

We are going to go out for dinner tonight, and I was going to give her the surprise then, but I don't know if I can wait. Seeing her eyes light up already makes me weak at the knees.

"Well, we've been dating for the last few weeks, and while that has been tremendous and rewarding." I pause as she laughs, "I think it could be time to move into the next phase of our relationship."

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

I give her a smouldering look. "Would I have to try?"

She gasps, pretending to be shocked. "That's no way to talk to your dirty, little whore."

My dick hardens. I cock my head. "Do you really want to continue taking things this slow?"

"We could make out on the couch?"

I chuckle. "You have been a good girl lately."

Her eyebrows pique. "I have been. I haven't even spent any of your money." Nor have I paid her; she's been insistent that she doesn't want that anymore. Even though I love it when she spends my money, I don't want her to feel like I have control over her. If only she knew that she holds all the power, not me.

"That does disappoint me, but I know one way you can make it up to me?"

One side of her mouth curls up and she pushes onto her knees excitedly. "Ooh, do tell?"

"Come to Seattle with me."

She frowns. "What?"

"This weekend. We can take the jet and surprise Ariana."

Her mouth gapes open. "You remembered?"

I smirk. "It's all you've been talking about."

"But I figured you couldn't, because of work.

I give her an eye roll. "You're forgetting I'm the CEO — I can do whatever the fuck I want, when I want. And you're always saying I work too much. So, come to Seattle with me."

Tears well in her eyes. "You'd really do that for me?"

I glance at her, bewildered by her statement. "Of course. I'd do anything for you."

She closes her eyes momentarily, then wipes her eyes. "I'd love that, Alistair. I really would love it. Thank you."

I lean over this time. "I love you, I can't go on like this. I said we could take things slow, but holding you at night and abstaining from touching you… it just doesn't feel right."

She cups my face. "I know, I feel the same way. But we had to see if we had anything in common, aside from sex. I've never had a real relationship, not where I cared enough to want it to be long term. Or I thought about a future with them."

"You were waiting for me all along?" I smile.

"It seems I was."

"Let's go to bed."

"Did you just buy me a ticket so I'd sleep with you?" She cocks a brow.

I grin. "I own the plane, Charlize. So that's a no."

"And you're really going to take a week off?"

I can't remember the last time I took time off to do something so indulgent. Now I feel as if I've lived my entire life in the dark. Never seeing the light. Never caring for anything more than work. Charlize has opened up a whole new world for me I never knew existed.

"I'm trying to navigate where we go from here, and like I said, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Your friends are important to you, and that means they're important to me. Plus, you have to come clean with them."

She bites her lip. "I know. I mean, they know about you, but they don't know it's you, per say."

"Well, that's something we can do together." I take her hands in mine. "I love you, Charlize. I want to be with you. Make a life with you. Grow old with you. It may be sudden, and you said you needed space, but I'm fucking done with that shit. Why wait when we can move onto the next part of this adventure?"

Her eyes well with tears. "I love you so much." She crawls over to me and folds herself into my arms, climbing onto my lap. "Life began when I met you, Alistair. And I mean that with all sincerity. I didn't know what I was doing, where I was going, what I wanted in life, and now I do."

"And that is?"

"Well, I am definitely done working in hospitality. I guess I'd love to find something I'm really good at, and passionate about."

"Anything else?"

She pretends to think. "I also love living here, you're not a bad roomie."

I nudge her with my hips and she laughs, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Not a bad roomie?"

"You are a tad grumpy, but I can deal with that because of your monster dick."

I chuckle. "Thank goodness for that."

She presses her lips to mine. "I think my compass points to where you are, Mr. Devereaux. We might have a few hurdles to cross, but I'm willing to navigate this journey with you. I can't imagine you not being in my life."

It's like music to my ears; bringing warmth to my heart. I love this woman so damn much. She gives me tingles all over that I've never experienced ever before. I can see my future in her eyes, and I'm grateful and humbled that she seems to like me. Me.

Not Alistair, the CEO.

Not Alistair, the man who can buy anything.

Not Alistair, the moody prick who pushes people away when they get too close.

While I haven"t liked this time apart, getting to know Charlize one on one without sex in the way has been an eye opener. We've had fun. We've explored the city on the weekend and Charlize has met me for lunch. Seeing her during the day, having her tell me about her morning and how she's reconfiguring her closet is like the most fascinating thing in the world. This is what love is. It's listening to the person you love most in the world, even if it's not something you'd normally be interested in. It's making time for them, and not spending all night at the office. She's helped me see there's more to life than just making money. I can afford to take time off and smell the roses. Pre-Charlize, I'd have laughed in your face.

"I can't imagine you not being in mine," I mutter against her lips. I move to my feet, taking her with me as she wraps around my body.

"Take me to bed, Mr. Devereaux."

My heart jolts at her words. "Are you sure?"

She smiles. "Of course I'm sure. We can't stay away from one another. That's more than I could've ever hoped for, considering where we started."

I walk toward the stairs, dying to get her in my bed. "We're at a turning point, and I'm here to show you I'm here, Princess. I can be all you need. I can be the man who makes you happy."

She rubs her nose against mine. "You already do."

It's like music to my ears. All the time that I've been waiting for the right woman to come along was worth it. The mistakes melt away, along with my walls. I want to share everything with her.

I guess sometimes you need a wake-up call, and almost losing her was mine.