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Chapter 25

I don't know what's come over me.

First agreeing to be Charlize's sugar Daddy, then having absolutely no self-control when it comes to her body. I know I'm starting to feel things for her that I shouldn't. Then again, was I ever really in this just for the sex? I know the answer to that.

I'm a sexual man — I make no qualms about that — but I also know that I need more than just a sexual connection to be in a relationship with a woman. It's been so long, I can barely remember.

Now I have to ask myself some very hard questions, and it's only been a goddamn week.

I enjoy spending money on Charlize; or rather, her spending my money on herself. It makes me feel like I'm the fucking king of her world, and though that's a very dangerous place to be — in my eyes — she never has to know.

Now I'm taking her to my manor in my most favourite place on earth? The one place I get to be myself without the weight of the world coming down on me? Have I lost my marbles?

I guess she brings it out in me. She makes me feel like I want to try for something bigger, something better than just growing old alone and living with all this anger and rage. I've carried it for a long time; too long.

A text alerts me to the here and now, and I see that it"s Devon. I need to talk to someone about this, and out of all my friends, he's the one who I trust the most.

Devon

Hey numbnuts. You wanna play poker this weekend? I'm in the mood to take your money

I smirk at his message. Damn bastard beats me every time.

Me

Can't. I'm going to the country

Devon

Cool, boys trip? I'm happy to tag along

I palm the back of my head. Now I have to confess I'm going with a woman. And that's going to raise eyebrows.

Me

I'm taking a woman

Devon

Huh?

Me

Yeah. Kinda short notice

Devon

Back up for just a second. You never take women to the manor. Who is she?

There's a whole can of worms right there.

Me

A woman I met

Devon

Obviously, dickhead. I mean, what's her name

Me

Charlize. She's the woman I met the night of my party

Devon

You mean the hooker?

Anger boils in my blood. She's not a fucking hooker.

I pick up my phone from the desk and dial.

"Don't ever call her a hooker or I swear to fucking God…"

"Woah, man. Hold the boat. I was just making a joke, and I hate to point it out to you, but she was hired to please you."

"That didn't happen." Well, it did, just not in the way he thinks.

"Yeah, obviously, since you're now taking her to the Cotswolds."

"About that night. I need you to keep this between us."

"I'm all ears, old boy."

"The night of my party, I ran into my ex-stepdaughter." My God, I hate saying those words. It makes me feel like a fucking creep.

"Oh, geez. That's bad luck. What was she doing there, anyway?"

"She was the escort."

There's silence for a few seconds.

I brace myself.

"Holy shit!" He starts to laugh. "Get outta here?"

"I wish I was kidding."

"And you fucked her?"

"Not that night, no. I didn't know who she was, the last time I saw her she was a teenager."

"That gives awkward a whole new meaning."

"Just a little."

"You also said, not that night, so you have banged her?"

I cringe. "It isn't what you think."

Devon knows all about my past, and I've mentioned Charlize in passing years ago.

"Does it matter what I think?"

"Yes, because I'm not some dirty old man."

"I know that."

"But I slept with her. And it gets worse."

"Uh, oh."

"I was so jealous that she was considering sleeping with men for money that we came to a compromise."

"Which was?"

"It was her idea. She asked if she could be my sugar baby."

"Holy fuck, mate. This is flying way over my head, and I've heard some shit before."

"Tell me about it."

"So she's just after your money? Disgruntled when she had to go live back in Australia?"

"I thought that at first, but I don't think that's it. She admitted she was mad at me at first, but she almost seems reluctant to spend my money."

"Just be careful — she isn't the first gold digger to try and swindle you out of cash. The pitfalls of being rich."

I take a long breath. I understand what he's saying, but I also know she isn't like that.

I could've written her a cheque and been done with it.

"I know it sounds cliché, but she isn't like that."

"Still, what do we know about this woman? Aside from that, she has your balls if you're taking her to the manor."

"She hasn't got my balls," I say. "But she is the first woman I've had feelings for in a long time."

"And you're worried how it'll look?"

"For myself? Not so much. For her? It's only natural. She's fifteen years younger than me, and she used to be my stepdaughter. Granted, I saw her half a dozen times in the period when I was married to her mother…"

"Also awkward."

"You know the deal with Abigail. We had an arrangement."

"I just want you to be careful, AD. It sounds like you really like this chick."

I put the phone on speaker so I can lay it down and rub my temples. "I do. That's the problem."

"Well, if you know she's not a gold digger, and she's not just in this for the money or to rip your spleen out, then what's the problem?"

I hesitate. I don't normally talk to anyone like this, but Devon has been a shoulder to cry on, so to speak. We help each other out. I've been a sounding board for him when he broke up with his ex, and I know I can trust him.

"Aside from the age gap and the fact she used to be my stepdaughter? I... I don' t know."

"I think I do."

"Great. Care to enlighten me?"

"You've been on your own so long you've forgotten what human interaction is like," he tells me. "And I don't mean just sex. You can get that anywhere. I mean, the good stuff. The side that nobody sees behind closed doors. Playful Alistair."

"I'm not fucking playful," I growl.

"No, but you're taking her to your most favourite place in the world. That means something."

"I… I thought she'd like it."

"And I rest my case."

"So, you think I'm doing the wrong thing?"

"I never said that. I just want to be sure that you know what you're doing."

"Of course I fucking don't, it's unchartered territory."

"And now you're rethinking it?"

"I know you think I'm nuts, but I've never felt this way about anyone. I think… I think I'm falling in love with her, D." The words leave my mouth and they sound foreign.Yet, for some reason, it also doesn't feel off.

"Fuck. That was pretty quick. Are you sure you're not mistaking this for something else? The idea you like caring for her, perhaps?"

"I've never been in love before, so I don't know. But I do know that I can't stop thinking about her. When she's not with me, I'm thinking about what she's doing and where she is. Texting her, fuck, I even watched my credit card transaction to try and pinpoint where she was."

"Jesus, stalking her now?"

"Trust me, it's all for the greater good. I care about her."

"I can see that, you just have to ask yourself if she cares about you the same way. Is she just in it for the money and to punish you?"

I tap my fingers on the desk impatiently. "I don't know. I fucking hope not."

"Well, I think it's time we found out."

"What do you mean?"

"We set a trap for her."

I stiffen. "What?"

"I could text her, saying I got her number off one of the girls at élégance. See if she wants to meet up with me."

"I don't like it."

He laughs. "Why? Because you're afraid she might just move onto the next rich bastard. Oh, if I'm pretending to be anyone, it's gotta be good. I'll be a rich, grumpy billionaire like you."

Smart arse.

"I don't know. This feels kinda weird."

"Least you'd know."

He has a point. It's not that I don't trust Charlize, but a part of me is intrigued to know what she'd say.

"I'll think about it."

"Text me her number. I promise I'll be suave. I'll also give her an offer she can't refuse. Voila. You'll have your answer and your precious heart will be intact before you get in too deep. Personally, I think it's genius."

"You should lay off the beers at lunch."

He chuckles. "In all seriousness, if she's as fabulous as you say she is and she feels the same way; she won't want anything to do with me."

"Yeah, I get it. Shut the fuck up while I think."

"Well don't think too long, motherfucker. I've gotta get back to the office, I've got a meeting in five."

"Thanks for the pep talk."

"Send me her number."

I hang up before he can say any more.

While I understand he's looking out for me, I also fear the outcome. What if Charlize is just a wolf in sheep's clothing and all this was for nothing?

What if I've set myself up to look like a fool?

I guess nobody else will know about it, aside from Devon.

I swallow hard.

A text comes through and it's Charlize in Hermes. She's taken a photo of the luggage she just bought.

A smile creeps on my face and I try to push down the notion that Devon could be right. Maybe she is just in this for the money. It's not like she could afford to go to Hermes before I came along. No. That isn't fair. I told her to go there and make me proud. I know she acts like she loves spending my money, but she's never once complained about the fact that she had to fend for herself when she got to America. She's never once pointed the finger and blamed me for any of it. Sure, she may have been mad in the beginning about having to go with the old bag, but that had nothing to do with money.

Then again, love is blind.

I text her back.

Me

Good girl. Daddy likes to see you spoil yourself.

She texts me a selfie of her blowing a kiss and I smile.

I think about what Devon said about her being a gold digger, only out for my money and possibly to ruin my reputation. While all that could be true, I honestly don't feel like Charlize is any of those things. Maybe that's naive of me. Maybe I am just seeing the world through rose tinted glasses now, but it's fucking wonderful.

To feel elated and have a spring in my step. To be excited about getting home to see her.

Today though, we're meant to be looking at apartments. The more I think about it, the more that irks me because I want her with me. In my house. My home. Our home.

Me

I'm cancelling the apartment viewings. I'll be stuck in a meeting all afternoon. Rain check for next week?

She replies back right away.

Charlize

Sounds good ??

Devon can't be right. I won't let him. I may not have known her in this capacity for very long, but I know how hard my heart hammers in my chest every single time I see her name on my screen. Or when she whispers my name when I'm buried deep inside her. It's not possible that I could be fooled.

But I switch back to text Devon. My fingers hovering over the keys. I go to contacts and share her number with him. Pain hits me in the chest as I do so.

It's deceitful and wrong, but I have to know. I have to know if she's just playing me for a fool.

Me

Do it. I want to see every single text and reply. Let me know when it's done.

I don't wait for his reply. It sickens me that I'm lying to her, but I have to be smart about this. It isn't just my reputation or my money on the line here; it's way deeper than that. It's my fucking heart. And there isn't any way I'd get that back if she were to rip it from my chest.

So now the clock ticks.

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