Chapter 23

I couldn’t remember her name. It felt like a tragedy. But I knew her as much as I knew myself. In fact, I got the sense I knew her more, as I realized I knew myself so little.

She was looking at me, an odd knowing in her eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to turn invisible. I wanted her to know I was there.

Tears fell down my face, and I hadn’t realized I was sad until I felt them. The need to run both to and from her rooted me in place.

“Agnes, something about this isn’t right.”

The words came from right next to me, but they might as well have been miles away.

Her eyes settled on me with unflinching confidence, as if she expected to find me in these woods. Weirdly, instead of looking afraid, she smiled, then turned and ran through the trees.

My feet began moving after her before I realized what I was doing.

I was jerked back suddenly, looking over my shoulder to find Rigel fully corporeal and clearly worried.

“Agnes, no. I don’t know what’s going on.”

I heard his warning, but I couldn’t comprehend it. All I could register was a deep need to follow that little girl, no matter what.

I tugged my arm free and began running after her, damaged leg forgotten. The crunching pain of the exposed ankle bones felt meaningless, as if it were happening to someone else.

“Agnes!” I heard Rigel scream behind me before the sound was swallowed up by the trees.

But all I could think about was the pink cotton dress that danced between the trunks. She was so small, but she always stayed ahead of me. Soon, the trees became farther and farther apart, and suddenly, we were on a gravel road. Next to it was a large wooden sign, with hand-painted white words.

You are now leaving

Last Hope, Arkansas

She finally came to a stop right below the sign, turning to shoot me an odd smile. The expression was cold and cunning, unnatural to see on a child. But I was so far beyond that level of logical thought I didn’t hesitate when she dipped into the negative space under the sign and disappeared.

Following her into the through line was a terrible idea, and the rush of sensation returning finally had me considering my actions. That’s when I realized how big of a mistake I’d made.

I wasn’t alone.

Arms encircled me, cutting off my surprised scream that bounced uselessly against the dense foliage. Looking to the side, I was surprised to see Tom’s face resting on my shoulder, smiling in a wild, frightening way.

“What’s going on?” I asked, so shocked I wasn’t sure what else to say.

He laughed, the sound coming out crunchy and inhuman. “Didn’t expect to see me again?”

“W-What ha—happened to you?”

“You know what happened to me. You watched it happen.”

He spat the words in a loose sort of way, drool pooling in his heavy lower lip and dripping onto my shoulder with every word.

Leaves crackled nearby again, and Tom’s hold on me tightened. The child appeared from behind a tree, smile unnaturally wide on her small face. Then she reached up, pudgy fingers digging into her lower eyelids and pulling downward.

I started screaming even before the flesh began to tear. She yanked hard, splitting the skin of her cheeks to her chin. Her bloodied fingers lengthened, bone breaking through her fingertips. Her back curled up, the cotton dress ripping as her spine broke through the fabric.

I tried to scramble away as the creature writhed in front of me, fighting through the skin. Soaked in blood, tiny hands knotted themselves in the dark hair. She tore, ripping so hard the scalp peeled away, leaving the wispy hair lost in bloody scraps of flesh that hung in her ruined face.

Rising in front of me from the girl’s skin was the beast who’d been hunting me.

Tom shoved me forward onto the ground, and I looked up to find an odd sight. He was mostly naked, his clothes having been fashioned into an odd wrap holding the two halves of him together. It was clear whatever had been happening to him out in the wilderness with the beast had driven him mad. Why didn’t the school come for him, if for no other reason than to send him through the door? It would have been the merciful option.

It wasn’t until I thought about the school that I even remembered why I’d spent so much time training to disappear. They didn’t warn me how hard and unnatural it would be when I wasn’t tucked up in a cozy classroom with a sexy teacher whose biggest threat was my own desire to touch him.

But just as Tom noticed that I was trying desperately to haze out of existence, he grabbed a massive metal hook hanging at his hip. I only had the wherewithal the scream before he brought it down hard, piercing my thigh with a meaty thunk.

Screaming, I kicked my leg as if the hook were a dog I could shake off. Even as I desperately fought to become invisible, the hook stayed trapped, hovering in the air above the ground.

My kicking had thrown Tom back, his poorly held together body shuddering unnaturally. He had to lean on a tree for support while he tightened the makeshift ropes that held him together. I watched the two halves of his squelching abdomen slide together before skittering, as if grinding against the shattered ends of bone.

“Tom, please.” I reached down to try and pull the hook free.

It was at such an odd angle I couldn’t get the leverage to dislodge it.

He ignored me, eyes flicking over my head. I turned to find . . . myself. It was my own body standing over me, but there was something clearly wrong with it. It looked like my skin had been peeled off and stretched over an unfamiliar frame. In some places, the skin was thin and shiny, and in others, it seemed to sag like an old balloon.

When the creature opened its mouth, the lips didn’t move properly, like my face was a mask.

“Maybe you should thank me.”

The beast’s words vibrated through me, putting my teeth on edge.

“Thank you?”

“For getting you out of that place.”

I tried to push myself up, but I felt Tom’s foot against my back, pressing me into the ground.

“I’ll decide that for myself, thanks,” I wheezed.

“You don’t know what’s going on there, what you’re being used for.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

The beast shuddered, changing back into her own body, offering me my first decent look at her. I’d noticed the animalistic parts before but never the more human aspects.

When I looked, something was oddly familiar. Her head and arms were being held on with different straps and ties almost invisible in her black fur. And I knew how someone got those scars.

“You’re . . .” I said, meeting the beast’s eyes just as they lit up with excitement.

“You see me now, don’t you?”

Tom’s weight left my back as the beast bent forward, grabbing the collar of my sweater with a clawed hand and lifting me until we were eye to eye.

“Please don’t,” I whimpered as I felt the beast’s hot breath against my cheek.

“It’s not me you should be begging for mercy.” She breathed. “It’s what’s waiting for you at Revenant Academy and Last Hope that you should be afraid of.”

She extended a long purple tongue, crusted in white grime that rubbed off on my skin as she licked me languorously. “I’ve seen your life. I’ve seen your death. I know why they isolate you. You’re cursed. I can taste it on you.”

My limbs were numb with fear, but I realized I knew where her weak spots were. Reaching up, I jabbed my hands into the meaty creases where her arms were being held onto her torso. She lurched in surprise, pulling me away until my hands were dislodged. But I didn’t give her too long to think about it before I reached higher, grabbing the ribbon on her neck and yanking.

“Fuck you.”

She gasped as the back of the ribbon tore through the seam in her neck, knocking her head off balance. It toppled forward, falling to the ground between us.

But when I looked down, expecting to see rage on the face below, I saw something stranger.

Fear.

The eyes were wide, staring at the space just above my head. Looking up, I realized something was moving above us. The massive tree overhead seemed to be stirring, branches moving thick and slumbrous, as if we’d woken it from a long sleep. But then the head emerged, and I realized I wasn’t looking at tree branches, but the body of a giant snake.

Its skull was the size of my torso, and when it opened its mouth, it revealed a set of fangs longer than my forearm.

My own screams were suddenly drowned out by that of the beast, whose reaction was curious to me. It stumbled back, dropping me, as it tried to get away from the snake. But the sudden movement drove the serpent into action, and in a lighting-fast motion, its jaw unfolded, nearly tripling in size before engulfing the beast’s shoulders.

I scurried back as the beast was lifted off the ground. Its claws raked uselessly against the massive scales. The snake barely noticed as its muscles rippled, pulling the thrashing creature farther into its gullet. Behind me came a crunch, and I spun to find the snake’s tail coiled around what remained of Tom, slowly cracking his bones.

His limbs fell away as they were pinched off his body. But in his eyes was only madness. He was choking, halfway between a scream and a laugh. No matter which part of his body fell off, it was clear his mind had gone first.

After an extra loud snap, I looked down to see my cane poking out at his side, and I felt a distant pang of sadness.

“Do something,” the beast’s head yelled from the ground as more of its body disappeared inside the snake.

I wasn’t even sure who the creature was talking to.

The metal hook had landed on the ground near me, and I picked it up. I didn’t want to help, but I couldn’t imagine being trapped out here, having parts of you be slowly digested while your head lay in the grass.

I lifted the metal hook over my head and brought it down on part of the snake, but like the claws, the hook bounced off.

The beast wailed in misery. At first, I thought it was only despair until I realized she could probably feel her body being crushed inside the snake.

It was hard to feel much sympathy for either of the mad creatures. But even in my state, I knew it wasn’t a fate anyone deserved.

I walked back over to Tom first. The snake had nearly squeezed him in half, and when I grabbed the top of his hair and yanked, his head and right arm came off without effort. He was still in so much pain he barely seemed to register what I’d done as I dragged him over to retrieve the beast’s head as well.

The journey was slow on my dislodged foot, every step careful and considered.

An overgrown footpath wove through the trees, which I followed. I passed small buildings, but if anyone considered bothering me, the two screaming heads in my hands had them reconsidering.

“I bet you really regret tearing off my foot now,” I croaked as I pulled the heads slowly through the underbrush.

As the sky darkened and the stars became visible overhead, I saw smokestacks in the distance. They led to a main street lined in buildings that were huddled against each other, creating a surprisingly cozy atmosphere. There was a pub and a trading post and an inn. Some people were hauling wheel barrels full of wood, and others were laughing in groups, but they all froze when they saw me.

I couldn’t imagine how I looked, a woman in a torn uniform holding two screaming heads in the street.

“Girl?”

The word was a surprised gasp behind me, and when I turned, I found none other than Stacy leaning out of a corner shop with a dumbstruck look on her face.

And, for whatever reason, I burst into tears. I dropped the two heads and covered my face with my dirty hands.

“What the hell happened?” she asked.

“They broke my cane,” I whimpered, even though the words couldn’t even begin to describe what I’d just gone through. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s sit you down,” she said, taking me by the shoulder and quickly guiding me into the nearby pub.

When we walked inside, I was hit with a disarmingly warm smell, but I was so nauseous I could barely stand it. She tossed me into a seat in the far corner and ordered something, though I was too stunned to pay any attention.

When she returned, she had a bowl of soup and a mug of something cold in hand, which she sat in front of me. “Now tell me what happened.”

“I’m sorry I let it get broken,” I whimpered, not even sure why I was still fixated on it.

“Oh, doll, don’t worry about it.”

“You worked hard on it.”

“And I can make another. I just need you to tell me what happened.”

“That beast thing—it lured me into a throughline while we were on the trip. It was a little girl. A little girl I recognized, but I don’t know why.” I dissolved into sobs once more, earning me a lot of concerned stares as my tears dripped into my soup.

“How’d you end up cutting off both of their heads?” she asked, sounding shocked to even be saying it.

“I didn’t,” I said. “The snake did.”

That got a big chortle out of her, which made me laugh a little in return.

“Holy shit,” she barked, “You really have been on a little adventure.”

I sniffed. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“Well, I’ve sent someone down to the school to come fetch you. I’d bet they’re freaking out. You just can’t help yourself but cause trouble.”

I downed a few swigs of cider to wet my throat.

“Stacy?”

“Yeah?”

I nodded toward the window, where I could still hear the heads screaming from the street. “What’s going to happen to them?”

“Someone will take care of them,” she said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Nodding, I shoveled soup into my mouth. “Did you have kids, Stacy?”

She paused, clearly considering her response. “A couple, yeah.”

“What did you do to deal with it?”

She shifted in her chair. “Nothing. They all lived their lives and died, plain and simple.”

“Are any of them here?”

“No, thank god. They all moved right on past this place, blissfully unaware that it ever existed probably.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It really couldn’t have gone better, all things considered.”

“Right,” I sighed, spooning more soup into my mouth to hide my pained expression.

Then a familiar office door appeared on the wall next to us.

“Finish your drink,” Stacy said, pushing the glass closer. “You’re gonna need it.”

I chugged it, and she helped me up. “I’ll see you at the start of next year, yeah?”

“Okay.”

I limped slowly to the door and pulled it open, slipping inside. Ephraim was waiting just inside for me, the turkey vulture’s feathers puffing in distress.

“I can’t believe you’re in one piece,” he breathed, taking me by the shoulders and giving me a once-over. “Please, come and sit.”

I did as he said, hoping that compliance would earn me a little mercy. He circled to his own chair, still infuriatingly calm. Lit only by the roaring fire behind his desk, the room was dark, and he appeared as hardly more than a silhouette in front of me.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, smoothing down the feathers. “I’ve got to admit, making a run for it in the human world was not something I anticipated.”

“Really?”

“I thought I was clear about the behavior I expected from you.”

So, Rigel hadn’t told anybody why I’d been led away. But couldn’t they guess? Why would they let him choose that place knowing it was where I was from? That was, unless, they didn’t know. Was it possible that Ephraim didn’t even know why I wasn’t allowed to know who I was?

“Are you not satisfied with your life here?” he asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

Something in the corner of my eye shifted, but I assumed it was a lick of flame dancing in the glass windows.

“No, I have, I just—” It was an effort to keep my attention on him, like there was another set of eyes watching me from somewhere in the room. “I just don’t understand why I’m being othered.”

“Some people that come here are different than others, in the same way some lives are different than others.”

These vague answers might not be to keep information from me but because he had none of it to begin with.

Something shuddered in the corner of my eye again, and I glanced to the side, just over his shoulder. And there, I realized something. The light from the fire wasn’t bending and reflecting correctly. Almost like there was someone standing there that didn’t want me to see them.

A tingle of fear running through me, I forced my eyes away.

“Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” he asked, eyes hard.

I nodded. “I’ll behave.”

He leaned back. “This is your last chance. Don’t be stupid.”

Getting to my feet, I nodded again. I was desperate to get out of the room, away from the silent presence.

But when I stood, he put a hand out to stop me. “Before you go, I did have one other thing to ask you.”

My heart stuttered, but I fought to keep my face neutral as I sat.

He leaned forward in his chair, voice dropping. “You’re a relatively social girl, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You enjoy spending quality time with friends?”

I subconsciously leaned away from him. “I suppose.”

“Well, then, I thought I might offer you a friendly bit of advice regarding socialization. Be careful who you spend time with. Because there are certain relationships that might result in one or more people needing to leave the school.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice got caught in my throat. “Uh, oh . . . okay.”

I tried to tell myself he was talking about my complicated relationship with Rigel and our many antics. But his careful tone told me differently.

“I don’t savor the idea, but there are certain things that we can’t abide by. Am I understood?”

Gulping, I nodded.

His smile returned in full force, and he clasped his hands together. “Well, with all that settled, I won’t take up any more of your time. I’m sure you’re eager to reunite with your school friends and enjoy your summer.”

“Okay,” I said, trying but mostly failing to look unshaken.

I got to my feet.

“I’ll see you next year, Agnes,” he called as I hurried to the door.

I’d expected to be delivered back to my dorm, but I emerged into the Transparency classroom, removing any hint of ambiguity from Ephraim’s words.

Professor Faun was sitting at his desk with a half-drunk bottle of liquor, balancing his head on his fist.

When he heard the door close behind me, he scrambled out of his chair and grabbed me up in a hug, but I was too startled to enjoy it.

Ephraim knew. He knew about us somehow.

It wasn’t until he pulled away that I realized he was wearing the sweater I’d made him for Christmas. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he’d kept it.

“You need to get rid of that,” I blurted.

He stiffened up. “What?”

“He knows Faun,” I said, surprised to hear myself use his name in such a familiar way. “Ephraim knows.”

He stepped back. “What happened to you out there?”

“There’s something going on, I don’t know what, but that doesn’t matter right now. None of it matters. I won’t let them send you through the black door.”

“Slow down. Everything is okay.”

I pressed my forehead to his chest, feeling the ridges of each stitch I’d crocheted for him against my skin. “You were right.”

He cupped my face with his hands, kissing me on the forehead. “I’m sorry, my love.”

A knock rapped at the door, and we leaped away from one another in surprise.

“Come in,” he called, wiping his face.

I was shocked to see Rigel peek in.

“Can I speak to Agnes quickly?”

“Of course,” Professor Faun said, sitting back at his desk and tucking the bottle of liquor out of sight.

I limped slowly to the door, irritated at Rigel for interrupting what was probably my last moment alone with Professor Faun.

When I went to push past him into the hall, he froze. His eyes were on Professor Faun—or, more exactly, on his sweater.

And I realized with a jolt that he’d seen the sweater before. He recognized it.

I grabbed him by his collar and yanked him into the hall, hoping to disrupt his mental math before he came to the inevitable conclusion.

“What do you want, Rigel?” I asked, closing the classroom door hard behind me.

His eyes were distant, wheels turning.

“Rigel,” I said again, smacking him on the cheek to get his attention.

He jumped, eyes meeting mine. “Well, first of all, I’m kind of glad you’re okay.”

“Is that all?” I asked through my teeth.

He almost looked hurt but shook it off. “I have something I need to give you. It’s important.”

I held out a hand. “Go on, then.”

“Can you come somewhere more private?”

I jumped at the opportunity to get him away from the classroom. We ended up in the stairwell I’d hidden in on my first day.

Once we were properly alone, he pulled two histories from under his coat. I blinked in surprise at the name on the top book.

Belinda Elizabeth Kilmer

“Is that . . . Lindy’s?”

He nodded.

“Holy shit.” I gasped, taking it from his hand to look at it. “I can’t believe it. Why didn’t you give it to her?”

“It’s, uh, complicated, Agnes.”

His voice was tight and oddly mournful.

“What? It’s literally what you’ve been looking for this whole time.”

That’s when I read the name on the second book.

Agnes Marie Kilmer

I dropped Lindy’s history, and the thump of it hitting the carpet echoed through the stairwell.

“I’ve read both of them,” he said.

I reached out, grabbing for it, but he yanked it back.

“What are you doing?”

“Agnes . . .” He breathed.

“What? What’s wrong?”

I looked up into his dark eyes, finding an odd sadness I hadn’t even thought he was capable of feeling.

I reached forward again, this time my hand coming to rest on the book, but he didn’t loosen his grip.

“Agnes,” he said again, my name sounding like a warning on his lips. “I don’t think you want to know.”