Chapter 10

Ten

Dyson

M y mind strayed to Clara for the millionth time since we walked through the door this morning. I'd felt itchy under my skin since we left her sleeping in our bed and well satisfied.

Fuck me. Just the thought of her lying there and all the things that had transpired when we woke up made my dick hard as hell. Touching her skin, her breasts, and having the sweet taste of her in my mouth, smeared over my cock...damn. I wanted more. A lifetime of more.

I'd been trying to think about how the three of us could manage this relationship. How it could work outside of the bedroom. But my mind returned over and over again to the vision of finally burying my cock inside her and watching Eeli do the same.

My eyes strayed to my open door. Trinity had managed to solve the problem Eeli and I had without ever really addressing it out loud. She'd had our offices built directly across from each other. The front walls had large windows with blinds across them. Neither Eeli nor I ever pulled our blinds when we were working in our own spaces, and we always kept our doors open. Being able to check in with each other while holding onto the picture of normalcy helped keep me from going over the edge the last few months.

I ran a hand over my short-cropped hair and sat back in my chair. As I moved, Eeli's eyes came to me. He gave me a long searching look, tilting his head to the side in question. I shook my head.

Without having Clara held between us, the fucked up nature of this situation seeped back in. How could I hold onto her? How could I put her through what it would mean to be ours?

Two fucked in the head men who relied on the presence of each other to hold onto the threads of their sanity.

I tried to imagine what our lives would look like together. As long as we were cocooned in our cabin, things would be fine. But all of us had always been close to the members of our family and Clara's family would never be okay with her living with Eeli and me.

I couldn't begin to imagine how to make this work. As I thought of giving up Clara, a pain started in the vicinity of my heart. It speared through me, sharp and intense, leaving me feeling like I had a jagged gaping hole in my chest.

I gripped the arms of my chair fighting back the rage at even the thought of setting Clara aside.

A knock on my door brought my attention back there. I looked up and the air fled my lungs. Sawyer stood there, his brows pulled together in concern.

Shit, shit, shit. I hadn't even begun to think of how Sawyer would feel about all this. Sawyer had saved my ass on more than one occasion. From the time we were kids, he was more family than not. How in the fuck would Eeli and I tell him that we wanted to claim his baby sister?

"Everything okay?" Sawyer asked, stepping through the door and moving to the side.

I sighed and rubbed a hand down my face. His movement was intended to discreetly give me unfettered access to Eeli. Sawyer and Mac had been trying everything in their power to manage the weird connection between Eeli and me.

And how did I repay him for being understanding when anyone else would have washed their hands of us? By trying to sully his baby sister in some kind of fucked up three-sided relationship with the man who shared my PTSD.

"I'm fine," I managed to say. "Just tired. And you know how much I love paperwork." I nodded to the pile of files Trinity left on my desk with a post-it stuck to the top threatening my life and limbs if I didn't get things caught up.

Sawyer held my gaze for several long beats before he nodded, seemingly accepting my words at face value. The tightening of his jaw told me otherwise.

"You guys stay on the other side of the mountain last night?"

I shrugged and fought to keep my tone light. "We stayed for a couple of beers before heading home. You make out all right with the skip?" I asked, referring to the guy we'd been hunting last night.

He nodded. "Easy pick up. We had him back in custody in half an hour and headed home."

"Good."

Sawyer nodded and opened his mouth and then shut it again. I could only imagine what he wanted to say. He and Mac had been as subtle as sledgehammers in their desire to get Eeli and me talking about what was going on with us since we got back.

But this time he refrained from digging. "I'll leave you to do your paperwork."

"Thanks," I said, my tone dripping with the sarcasm I knew he'd expect. Though at the moment I never felt so grateful to have a pile of paperwork.

Sawyer gave me a chin lift. "Later."

"Later."

He slipped out my door and my breath left me in a rush. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Not wanting to talk to one of my best friends about what happened to Eeli and me was bad enough. Hiding my feelings for Clara was a whole other ballgame.

As guilt clawed through my insides, I looked up to find Eeli's eyes on me again. His expression reflected my own conflicted feelings. How were we going to live with this guilt on top of everything else?

Then another thought hit me like a punch to the gut. How could we live without Clara? Without our soulmate?

Clara

E xhaustion weighed me down. The late night coupled with the early morning meant I started my day off tired. Spending it dodging my family, caring for my shelter animals and capping it with a long chase through the forest searching for an injured fawn left me dead on my feet.

But as my day wound down, all I could think about was getting back to my guys. They'd never been far from my thoughts throughout my busy day. I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to either one of them, but we did text and make plans to meet up at their place that evening.

A sick feeling hit my belly as I contemplated the last text I'd gotten from Dyson.

We need to talk.

My guys were not known for their chattiness so their desire for conversation would have left me worried no matter what. But after leaving their bed this morning with hopeful thoughts about the three of us returning to it tonight, and the activities I hoped would take place there, I wasn't thrilled to hear talking was their main agenda.

Were they regretting what happened this morning?

I trudged up the steps to their cabin, and before I even got to the door it was flung open. Eeli stood on the other side, and at the sight of him looking all dark and dangerous and completely edible in his jeans and long-sleeved navy-blue T-shirt, I found a small pocket of energy I'd apparently been saving.

I all but dove across the space dividing us and threw myself into his arms. He took my weight without a problem and didn't hesitate to close his arms around me.

"Everything okay, baby?" he asked quietly as he ran his nose along my temple, inhaling me.

I returned the favor, turning my face into his neck and pulling his scent into me. "It is now."

Eeli maneuvered the door closed without losing his hold on me. He backed us into the living room, and I looked over his shoulder to see Dyson on the couch, his legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed.

My heart picked up speed at the sight of him. It seemed like it's been longer than just hours since we were together. Every primal instinct I possessed rushed to the forefront, pushing me to make contact with both my men. With one last squeeze around Eeli's waist, I released him and launched myself at Dyson.

He had just enough time to bring his legs up and catch me as I landed on him, straddling him and bringing my mouth down to meet his. He kissed me back with a hunger that matched my own as Eeli dropped onto the couch beside us and stroked a hand down my back.

In that instant, relief washed through me so fast and furious, it knocked the wind out of me. I broke the kiss, panting. I skipped my gaze back and forth between Dyson and Eeli. Closing my eyes and pulling in a deep breath, I allowed myself a moment to capture the emotions of my guys as easily as if they stated them out loud.

And my guys were as happy and relieved to have me with them as I was to be here. Thank God .

I opened my eyes and grinned at them. "Miss me?" I teased with a whispery sigh.

Eeli, hard-eyed, chiseled-jawed Eeli, who under the best of circumstances wasn't one to let his emotions show on his face, grinned right back at me.

Damn. Being the one to elicit that expression brought an indescribable sense of happiness to me.

My senses picked up on something else too. "You guys got pizza from Mama's?"

Dyson dropped his hands to my hips, a small smile playing over his lips. "We did."

"I hope you saved me some." As if on cue, my stomach gurgled. "I've been out chasing a baby dear all evening."

Eeli and Dyson sat up straight, their gazes coming to me like laser beams.

"And the mother?" Dyson asked.

I shook my head slowly. "Bear got her most likely. I got a call that the baby got hit by a car and ran off into the forest. I wanted to go check on him to make sure he didn't need medical attention."

Dyson growled and his hands at my hips turned into vises, locking me onto his lap. My eyes widened as I sat up straight. "What? What's wrong?"

"You went after a wild animal on your own?" Eeli clipped out.

I gave a small shrug and wrinkled my brow. "Of course. Who else would do it?"

"Do you know how dangerous that is? What if the bear that got the mother was still around?" Dyson growled.

"Taking care of the animals is my job. I've been doing it forever. I think I know how to deal with the local wildlife." And I did.

I had been doing this job since I was a kid. It was more than a job. It was a calling. The same way I knew instinctively Dyson and Eeli were meant for us, I'd known as a young child that I was born to care for animals.

Something both of my men knew.

"Why would you put yourself in danger like that?" Dyson asked.

I tilted my head to my shoulder. "You know the answer to that already, Dyson. It's my job. I was careful. I know what precautions to take and I did." In fact, I took extra precautions, thinking I wouldn't want to ever worry these two men more than necessary.

"You can't do things like that, Clara," Eeli said.

I tore myself from Dyson's grip and stood by the table. I plunked my hands on my hips and as my anger grew, I could feel my bear's ire growing right along with my own. "Excuse me?"

"You can't go off and put yourself in harm's way like that." Dyson's voice suddenly seemed so calm and reasonable. Not to mention firm. Like he was giving me instructions he expected me to obey, no questions asked.

"So you guys are giving up the bounty hunting side of your job?" I asked, doing my best to match Dyson's calm tone.

Eeli stood. "Don't be ridiculous, Clara. That's part of our job. We're trained to do it."

"Okay. By that logic, you should have no trouble with me taking care of local wildlife. It's my job and I've had years of practice doing it as well."

"It's not the same." Dyson leaned forward. "You're ours to protect. You can't put yourself in danger. We won't allow you to. We just found you. Found us."

My head was spinning. There was so much in those sentences I didn't know where to start. I sank down to the coffee table as my knees threatened to give way underneath me.

"Yours," I stated simply.

Dyson reached forward and stroked my cheek. He pressed his lips together and studied me for long moments before he spoke. "Ours."

Oh my God. Those words hit my heart with all the power of a freight train behind them. I felt them everywhere in my body.

"That means we need you to keep yourself safe for us." Eeli sat beside me on the table, both of us facing Dyson.

I nodded. I could understand that. Because as I sat there thinking of all the logical arguments for continuing to do what I always did, part of me understood their fear for me. I held the same fear thinking of them chasing bail jumpers and providing security services that might put them in danger.

I rested my head against Eeli's shoulder as my already long day caught up with me. "I think this is something we're going to need to work out. But could we save it for tomorrow? All I want to do now is eat and go to bed."

Eeli pulled me close and pressed a kiss against my temple. "Anything for you, beautiful."

"Let's get you fed." Dyson stood and pulled me along with him. "We can definitely table this for now."

They led me to the kitchen and we ate pizza, mostly in silence. Once my belly was full, all I could think of was going to bed. To sleep.

"Um, guys. I think maybe there's something we should talk about tonight." I looked back and forth between them. Even as tired as I was, I could feel heat building in my core as I thought of sliding into bed with them again. But I didn't think I had much energy left in me. "I, um, know this morning, we kind of talked about picking things up where we left off. Tonight. I mean, before you left. You guys are expecting…"

"Clara," Dyson broke into my babbling. He stood from the table and leaned down to rub his nose along my temple before pressing a kiss there. "Your first time isn't going to be rushed. And it isn't going to happen when you're too tired to keep your eyes open."

I blinked up at him and raised a hand to stroke along his jaw. "Thank you."

He took my hand and kissed my palm. "Don't ever thank us for caring for you. Now, why don't you let us clean this up and you go get ready for bed."

I kissed him softly and then got up and moved around to Eeli's chair. I gave him the same soft kiss, smiled at my guys and headed to bed, looking forward to sleeping cradled in their arms again.

I don't know how long it took for them to join me because, by the time they got there, I was already fast asleep.