Prologue

Jackson

Past

“Mama’s going to kill me,” Allison groaned as she kicked a rock, sending up a cloud of dust on the gravel road.

“It’s one B. Besides, it’s gym class. You got straight A’s in everything that matters,” I said, unable to comprehend why Allison was so upset. My report card was almost all B’s, and I was so proud of it I couldn’t wait to show my mom. Not that she’d really care. We both knew it didn’t matter what grades I got. My father had already decided my future, and I wouldn’t need a diploma for what he had in mind.

“Oh, she’ll care,” Allison said, rolling her eyes. She changed her voice, mimicking her mom’s frequent lectures. “Allison, the only hope you have is to work so hard you get a scholarship. I’m counting on you to be the first person in our family to ever go to college.”

“You will be,” I said, shrugging it off. I had no doubt Allison would grow up and do amazing things, but I secretly thought her mom took everything a little too seriously. Allison had only just turned thirteen. I couldn’t pretend to know anything about college, but I had a hard time believing a B in gym class was going to keep her out of it.

“We’ll see,” Allison said, sighing dramatically. “If Mama doesn’t kill me first.” She glanced over at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Race you home!” she said before taking off in a sprint.

I just laughed. I was a year younger than she was, but my legs were way longer than hers thanks to a recent growth spurt. I could give her a ten-second head start and still beat her.

But Allison stopped, her laughter fading as she turned the final corner in the road where our trailers came into sight. My heart sank as I caught up to her. Russell, my dad, was standing in my doorframe, smoking a cigarette as he stared us down, waiting.

I swallowed hard, knowing I was in for it.

“Don’t go,” Allison whispered, keeping her voice low enough that he didn’t have a chance of hearing. “We can turn around and run back to town. I’ll go with you. We’ll find somewhere you can hide, someone who will let you stay with them.”

“I can’t,” I said, even though the thought had crossed my mind before she’d said it. “You know what happened last time I tried to run away.”

She knew enough, anyway. She knew he’d beaten me even worse than normal for not taking it like a man the first time. What she didn’t know was that he’d warned me if I ever ran again, he’d punish her, too. He said he’d kill her—slow and painful—then make it look like an accident. And he’d get away with it.

Just like he’d gotten away with it before.

“Jackson—”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, forcing false confidence into my voice. “Go home. I’ll see you later, okay?”

She gave me a worried look. “Meet me at the creek tonight?”

“I’ll be there,” I promised, hoping it was a promise I could keep.

“Stop dawdling, boy,” Russell called out. “I’ve got work for you to do.”

“See?” I said under my breath. “He has a job for me. That’s all.”

“Be careful,” Allison warned, reaching over to give my hand a tight squeeze before running off and disappearing through the doorway of her own trailer.

I walked briskly, knowing Russell expected it—and that I might already be in trouble.

“You’re late.” He flicked his cigarette at me.

“Sorry, sir. You said you had some work for me to do?” I kept my voice respectful, even though I wanted to tell him exactly where he could put that work of his.

“I do, and time’s wasting. You’re spending too much time with that pretty little girl. I don’t like it.” He leveled his gaze at me, as if daring me to say something.

I bit my tongue and stayed silent.

His eyes glinted with something evil and dark. “She’s spoken for. She don’t belong to you, and she never will. You got that? You’re not to touch her. There’ll be hell to pay if you do.”

“Yes, sir,” I answered, knowing it was the only response I could give. I knew what he meant, even if I couldn’t explain that it wasn’t like that with me and Allison. She was my best friend. But friendship was something Russell would never understand.

“Although,” he said, scratching his chin as he mulled things over. “It’s high time we found you a girlfriend. That’s exactly what you need to toughen you up and finally make you mean.” He glanced at my mother, who was peeling potatoes in the kitchen. “Isn’t that right?” he asked her, raising his voice. “Worked for me, didn’t it?

She nodded slowly, keeping her head down.

Russell chuckled. “That’s right. I didn’t know I had it in me until I married her.” He put a hand on my shoulder, like he was sharing a moment of wisdom with his son.

I wanted to pull away and run from it, but I didn’t.

“I still believe there’s hope for you, young Jackson. We’ve just got to find a girl who’ll teach you how to get angry. Someone who’ll bring out that Sharp blood, finally make a man of you. All women are the same. Don’t matter how charming they are at first. Get you a woman and it won’t be long before you realize what real anger is.” He threw a disgusted look toward Mom, who never looked up, even as her cheeks turned red and her hands trembled.

I nodded, hoping he’d end his speech soon. I’d heard it before, but I was wise enough not to say so—or to mention what a contradiction he was, taking pride in his violence but also blaming it on my mother.

He studied me, then changed tack. “Enough of that. You’re on a deadline. Got to deliver these supplies in a hurry.” He grabbed the brown paper package he had sitting behind the door and shoved it into my hands.

“The usual place?”

“That’s right. And hurry now, or I’m liable to get impatient.”

“Yes, sir.”

He tugged my ear hard, for good measure. It hurt, but from him? It was practically a sign of affection. “Get going now.”

Later that night, when the sun had already set behind the trees, I snuck out of the trailer and made my way down the wooded pathway to the creek. I saw Allison long before she ever heard me. The moonlight caught on her blonde hair as she sat by the water’s edge, hugging her knees, a solitary bright spot in the dark landscape.

I came up behind her and tugged on her pigtail before plopping down next to her.

“Oh, Jackson.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I didn’t hear you walking up.”

“I’ve learned to be quiet,” I said, forcing a chuckle.

“Are you okay?” She turned to me, those serious eyes studying mine, looking for signs of injury—physical or otherwise.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Just had to deliver a package for him.”

Her face turned to disgust. She knew how much I despised being forced to help Russell with his drug business. “I’m sorry. But I’m glad that’s all it was.”

“Me too.” I searched her face, realizing I might be okay, but she wasn’t. “What’s going on?”

She groaned. “Daddy has a poker game tonight. You know how Mama gets about that.”

“Big fight?”

Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away. “Yep. But it won’t matter. It never changes anything.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, wishing I could make it all better somehow.

She sighed, turning back to stare at the water. “Someday we’ll get out of here. Someday we’ll be free.”

“Free,” I echoed. It was a nice dream. But it didn’t feel real. Freedom wasn’t my future. Russell would make sure of it.

Allison’s voice changed, taking on the dreamy tone it always did when she was imagining something better. “We’ll start a new life far, far away from this place. Somewhere amazing, like New York City or Chicago. We’ll get a cool apartment, and I’ll go to med school. You’ll do something awesome. We’ll start fresh.”

“I hear San Diego’s nice,” I said, playing along.

It was Allison’s favorite game, to dream of a big city life far away from here. I couldn’t imagine leaving Rosemary Mountain, even though I wanted to get a million miles away from Russell. I’d go anywhere if it meant being free from him. But secretly, I doubted that even New York City could be as perfect as this creek bank in the summertime. I didn’t want crowds of people and big shopping malls.

I just wanted her.

She didn’t think of me like that though. Russell was right about that one. Allison was my best friend in the whole world, but she treated me like a brother. We’d grown up side by side, so it was no wonder. She had a boyfriend. She’d even told me about their first kiss, with it never crossing her mind that she might be breaking my heart.

But she was always there when I needed her. She’d drop everything in a heartbeat to be here if she thought I might have a bad night with Russell. And whenever she dreamed of leaving this place, she’d always tell me to come with her. She’d paint a picture of all the fun we’d have wherever we went, and how we’d never have any troubles once we got out of here.

I knew enough about life to know she was wrong about that one. But I liked to hear her dream anyway.

She nudged my shoulder. “You’re awfully quiet tonight. What are you thinking about over there?”

I swallowed hard. Talking about feelings was…weird. But tonight felt different. And I had some things I needed to say.

“You’re my best friend,” I said, knowing it was the understatement of the year. She wasn’t just my best friend. She was my only friend. The only good thing in my life. The one who had given me strength to survive these last few years.

Without her? I’d have given up a long time ago.

“You’re my best friend too,” she said, smiling. She picked up a flat rock, kissed it, and skipped it across the dark surface of the creek. Seven skips, each one quietly echoing the sound of the stone when it first hit the water. Seven. Her lucky number.

“I was thinking we should make a pact,” I said.

“A pact?” She turned to look at me again. “What kind of pact?”

“To be best friends forever.”

She gave me a playful shove, laughing that pretty laugh of hers. “Of course we will be, silly. We’ll always be best friends.”

I swallowed hard. “Even if I go to jail?”

“You’re not going to go to jail, Jackson. You’re just a kid, and it’s not your fault Russell makes you break the law. If they ever arrest you, I’ll tell them how he forced you to do it.” She seemed so confident, just like she was about how someday we’d be free of it all.

“Just promise, Allison.” For some reason, it felt crucially important. I couldn’t say why. Maybe it was the conversation Russell had with me earlier, maybe it was my growing fear about getting caught, or maybe it was the knowledge that Allison’s life was moving her a little bit further from mine every day. But something in my gut told me that things were going to change.

And I didn’t want them to.

“I promise,” she said softly, holding up her finger to pinky swear. “We’ll be best friends forever.”

“Forever,” I echoed.

I meant it with all my heart.

The next morning, I rolled out of bed, stuffed my feet into my worn-out sneakers, and grabbed my homework. Then I walked silently through the trailer, taking care to avoid every creaky spot in the floor, and eased the door open so I wouldn’t wake Russell. If I didn’t slip off to school before he woke, he’d make me run errands for him all day. He saw no value in school. After all, my future belonged to him.

I held the screen door so it wouldn’t bang shut. Then I jumped down the stairs and ran over to Allison’s trailer. But when I knocked, she didn’t answer.

I knocked again, feeling a knot of tension form in my belly.

Silence.

I walked over to her window and threw a rock at it, hoping to get her attention. Then another. And another.

Still nothing.

Allison had never left for school without me.

I glanced around and realized her mama’s car was gone. Had something happened? Had her dad finally kicked the bucket?

I went back to the front door and pounded on it until I heard a groan inside. That was it. I grabbed the spare key from underneath the mat and unlocked the door, rushing in to see Brent, Allison’s dad, in his usual spot: sprawled out in his recliner, surrounded by empty gin bottles.

“Where’s Allison?” I asked, grabbing his shirt and shaking him before I realized what I was doing.

“Gone,” he mumbled before letting out another groan.

Gone.

My entire world stopped.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” I asked, grabbing his shirt tighter in my panic.

“Gone, like I said,” he repeated, his words slurred in a gin-soaked haze. He forced his eyes open before trying to slap at my hands. “Her mama took her and left. Ain’t coming back. Now, go on and get out of here.”

I didn’t leave though. I backed up, shaking. It couldn't be true.

I ran down the hallway to Allison’s room and threw the door open. Her dresser drawers were open and empty. Her closet only held hangers. And the stuffed bear she slept with every night was missing from her bed.

I sank to the floor, feeling like the world was spinning too fast for me to stand.

Allison was gone.