49. Trap

49

TRAP

I t's been a few weeks since the showdown at the safe house, and I'm not sure I've ever been more grateful to be staying in some piece-of-shit place just so that I can say Meredith is safe.

I take four mugs out of the cabinet and place them on the counter, turning the stove off as the kettle screams. If someone had told me a few months back that I'd be making hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and marshmallows for two of the toughest guys I know and a woman who makes me weak, I would have told them they were fucking crazy.

Meredith specially requested hot chocolate, and I can't help but feel like anything I can do to make her comfortable is my number one priority and job right now. Sometimes I remind myself to take it easy on overdoing it with everything, because even though she's on bed rest, I'm still nursing this gunshot wound too. I won't be any use to anybody if I never take time to rest myself.

I pour the hot water into the mugs and grab the cocoa powder out of the counter. As I stir the cocoa into each one, it feels like this is something a dad would do. My first instinct is to push the feelings away, having never pictured myself half as domesticated as these last few months have made me.

But when I think about Grizzly…well, he's a dad and it hasn't stopped him from doing anything he wants to do. He also loved his wife, and I understand why he is the way he is more than ever. With the number of times we've almost lost Meredith, I can't imagine how I'd be.

I put the hot chocolates onto a tray and head to the bedroom where Meredith is resting. I place the tray on the oversized dresser and pass the hot chocolates to Grizzly, Dart, and finally Meredith. She sits up in the bed and takes her hot chocolate with the sweetest smile.

"Thank you," she says, and her happiness is contagious. I love seeing her satisfied and relaxed.

I take a seat in the corner of the room, eyeing the presents she has stacked next to her. I have no idea how she's been able to pull it off, but she claims she has something for each of us. With all the drama, we didn't really end up doing much for Christmas, so this is her way of making up for that, even though it's late.

"Are you all ready?" she asks. She savors a few sips of her hot chocolate before placing it down on the nightstand beside her. "I hope you're all excited."

"You really didn't have to do anything," I say.

The poor thing looks like she's been through hell, even though she's been showered and put into fresh clothes. We've been taking turns brushing her hair in the mornings and evenings and helping her keep up with her normal skin and makeup routines. She's beautiful as ever, but she doesn't have the same vibrancy after everything that's happened recently. I want her to slow down.

"I only came up with the ideas," she says, calming my nerves. "Try and relax, would you?"

"To be fair, I think you're the one who's supposed to be getting the gifts," Dart says. "You've already spent too much on brain power alone."

"Eh," Grizzly says, shrugging his shoulders and taking a sip of his hot chocolate. "This old man appreciates the thought, darlin'."

"Good," Meredith says. Grizzly's comment clearly warms her heart, because she smiles sweetly and takes the first gift off the top of the small pile. "We'll make sure to save you for last, Grizzly, so you can enjoy the anticipation a bit longer."

"Oh wow." He chuckles to himself. "You're right, what's a little longer after a few decades?"

"Alright, first up." Meredith takes a small box from the top of the pile. She takes a quick glance at the tag and hands the box to Dart. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will no matter what, sweetheart."

Dart rips the wrapping paper off and throws the paper in the trash, lifting the lid off the small black box. He smiles, leaning in to give Meredith a kiss on the cheek before any of us know what it is. He moves to her ear, whispering a thank you before sitting down again in his chair. He pulls out a long silver chain, a wallet chain designed to resemble a bike chain.

"I feel awful about your bike," Meredith explains. "I know how much you love it and I know it will be repaired. But I thought you might like something useful that reminds you of riding."

"It's beautiful." It glimmers in the sunshine beaming through the window. "I'll wear it every day."

Meredith shares a sweet and sentimental smile with him before she directs her attention back to the pile of gifts. She looks at a tag and then directs a gift in my direction.

"We'll do you next, Trap. We all know you can't stand waiting for very long."

She winks at me, and I take the gift from her and wink back. It's a relatively small to medium box in blue wrapping paper and a shiny ribbon. I can't remember the last time I received a gift. It might even have been as a kid, so opening a present to begin with is a foreign idea. I hate the fact that everyone is watching me open it, but I'm so grateful Meredith thinks of us the way she does.

I open the gift and see that it's a beard kit, one that comes with every accessory, trimmer, cream, and way to maintain the mane you can imagine. I almost can't stand how thoughtful this girl is. I want to be looking my best for her, and she can't help but always make my hair a big deal.

"Thank you," I say, rubbing my finger over the glossy box. "You didn't have to go all out like this."

"I wanted to."

"I do hope you're not saying you think my beard needs to go. I keep it tight for you, you know."

"It's to keep it sexy," she says. "Maybe it'll make your life a little bit easier."

"Thank you, baby. I love it."

"Okay, now for the one we've all been waiting for." She takes another gift from the pile and hands it to Grizzly. He looks at the gift like it's the best thing he's ever seen in his life, and he hasn't even opened it yet. It's like the sentimental value of her thoughtfulness alone is pouring out of him and onto all of us in the room.

Grizzly lets out a soft sigh, enjoying the moment of just holding it before he begins to tear the wrapping paper off the gift. His eyes widen and brighten as the gift is fully revealed. I can tell from where I'm sitting that it's some sort of record. Grizzly puts his hand on his chest, letting out a huff as if to say the gift is too much.

"What is it, man?" Dart asks.

Grizzly turns it around and shows us that it's the album of his favorite band—and not only that, but it's personally signed by the lead singer and all the band members.

"I don't know how to say thank you enough," he says, and Meredith holds her hand out for him to take. He grabs her hand, and they share a short exchange of intense eye contact. He mouths something to her, but I can't quite make out what he says.

"What can I say? I enjoy spoiling the men in my life."

"Those better not be for us too," I say, nodding my head toward the rest of the wrapped items on the nightstand. They're all the same size, so I'm suspicious about what that might mean.

"Yeah, about that. I'm not quite done with you all yet."

I grumble, wondering how much more she could possibly do for us. I can't get over how much I've fallen for this woman. No woman can be this perfect, showing an endless capacity for love.

Meredith takes the small gifts and passes one to each of us. We wait until we all have the gift in our hands before we rip at the paper to see what waits for us inside. We all take a collective sigh, the sight of the gift so sweet it's hard not to break down, though I know we won't let ourselves.

I hold the textured patch inside my hands, reading the label that says Proud Dad. It's meant for our jackets, and I can't wait to display it alongside my many other patches. This one will be the most meaningful by far.

"I love it," I say, and I can't tell if what I said even made it above a whisper.

"I'm glad," Meredith says, sounding relieved. "I thought it might be kind of a lot. But it's so good to hear that you appreciate it."

"Of course we do," Dart says. "I can't wait to get it on my jacket." He grins, and I can't help the smile at how excited he is to be a fully patched-in member of the club. We had just a small ceremony for him, with the promise of a larger party for him once we're all back at the clubhouse and settled down. He's more than earned it.

"I can't wait to hear what you're all thinking when it comes to names," she says. "Any ideas?"

"Trap Jr.," I say, giving her a wink.

Meredith laughs. "I think those are fighting words. I don't think you get to lay claim like that."

"Yeah, well, until someone comes up with something better, I'm throwing my hat in the ring."

"Me too," Grizzly says. "I think Grizzly Jr. has a certain ring to it."

"I regret this conversation," Meredith says, but clearly enjoying the teasing. "I take it back!"

Dart clears his throat. "That's fine, but before you do. I nominate Dart Jr. for consideration."

It looks like Meredith's entire face is smiling as she composes herself from her laughter. "I'll consider the nominations and get back to you with my thoughts on the matter."

"But hey," Grizzly says. "On a more serious note, I don't want you to think we forgot about you, sweetheart. Since we have you to ourselves, we thought of you too."

"No, that's not allowed. You're stealing my thunder here. No gifts."

Grizzly gets up from his chair and disappears out into the hallway for a few moments, digging around inside of a closet before reappearing with a small pile of gifts himself.

"You're crazy if you think we'd accept something from you without giving you something in return," I say.

"So much for selflessness," Meredith says, shaking her head and cupping her head in her hands.

"It's just a little something," Dart says. "Nothing to be worried about."

Meredith lifts her head back up and reluctantly takes the gifts in her hands. She whispers a soft thank you to Grizzly before lifting the first present and checking the tag in the light.

"Alright, this first one is from Dart."

She smiles as she rips into the gift and Dart looks at her with hopeful anticipation. I'm not sure what everyone got for her, only that we agreed to each get something for her and give them to her all together.

"Aww," Meredith says. She takes the piece of paper out of the long box and holds up a gift certificate for a full day at the spa. "This package has everything, Dart. A facial, a massage, foot rubs, and aromatherapy."

Dart glances at Grizzly and myself as if seeking validation before turning his attention to Meredith.

"Sometimes the way you act you wouldn't know that you've been through what you have lately. You deserve something that will make you feel special and make you feel like yourself again."

"It's true," I add. "You should be pampered. Not just for your sake, but the baby's sake."

Meredith gives a coy smile and places the gift certificate back into the box, placing it to the side.

"Thank you so much," she says. "I feel like I'm a wreck these days. I feel bad for all of you."

I'm feeling self-conscious about my gift as she lifts mine from the pile. As usual, I feel like I'm being shown up already by one of the guys. When I was thinking of something to give Meredith, I didn't really think of it in terms of money, but something more sentimental. I'm regretting the choice, but I do my best to wear a brave face as she unwraps the gift in front of everyone.

"Oh, Trap…" she says, and my shoulders tense as I anticipate her disappointment. There's no way she could appreciate what I got her compared to what Dart presented to her. I look down at the floor, having a hard time looking at her for fear of what I might see. "How cute are you?"

I look up at her, and she's looking at the tattoo I've given her, though it is temporary considering the pregnancy, of Cupid shooting his bow. When I picked it out, I wanted to let her know how much my feelings had grown, and how she captured my heart in a way that's out of my control.

"You going to show us?" Grizzly asks, taking another sip from his hot chocolate.

"It's Cupid," she says. "And I think we should put this on right now."

"Now?" I ask.

"Why not?" She tosses the tattoo in my direction. "Would you be so kind to do the honors?"

I smirk, relieved that she likes it and wants to show me she does by asking to have it put on her body straight away. I take the tattoo off the bed and stare into her eyes. It seems like my gift activated a switch inside of her, because her eyes are burning with a sudden desire.

I head for the bathroom and wet a small washcloth. It needs to be well-saturated for the tattoo to adhere properly. I take a look at myself in the mirror and run my fingers through my beard, excited to try the new gift Meredith got me as soon as I have a few minutes to myself. For now, I'm eager to see where she wants to see the tattoo placed. Really, I just want to be close to her.

I return to the bedroom to see Meredith sitting up more and scooching forward on the bed. She looks at me like Christmas morning as I walk to the foot of the bed, never breaking eye contact with her. It's like she can see into my heart and everything I want to say to her.

"Where do you want it?" I ask, and it sounds more devious than intended.

A sly smile appears on Meredith's lips. The way the sun is shining on her hair and glowing from behind her torso, she looks like the sweetest angel looking to be absolutely ravaged.

"Are you asking me about the tattoo, or something else?"

"I guess that depends on how you're feeling, baby girl," I say.

She curls her finger and summons me to the bed. She pulls her long hair to one side and lets it fall over the front of her body. She tugs her nightgown down so that her shoulder is exposed, and it looks good enough to eat. I want nothing more right now than to taste every part of her.

"I feel perfect," she says. "Come on to the back here and we'll put it on the upper part there."

I take a seat behind her and trace my fingers across the area she's pointed out. I take the plastic off the tattoo and adhere the sticky part of tattoo to her skin. She smells so good I almost get lost in the scent of her, too distracted to do a simple task.

When I put the washcloth on the back of the tattoo I press and the water drips down her back. It's colder than I realized, and I should have made it warmer. She moans from the cold pressing against her back and giggles a little bit from the surprise. I feel myself hardening in my pants.

"We just have to give this a minute," I say, and I don't know how I'm not going to explode and just throw her down on the bed.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better, darlin'." Grizzly says. He moves in toward her for a kiss. Seeing her get lovey with Grizzly gets my jealousy going, but also my desire. Once the tattoo is well saturated, I remove the washcloth and pull the paper part off her skin. The cupid is on her skin perfectly without so much as a crack or tear to be found.

"So wet," she says.

I lean into her ear and ask her, "You or the tattoo?"

She raises her hand to her mouth with a flirtatious giggle. "Can't it be both?"

I blow at her tattoo to help it dry, and I swear I can feel her body shiver. As much as I want to reach my hands around her and caress her, moving my hand down to feel her wetness for myself, I know she's supposed to be getting rest right now. Even though I have a raging boner, and I'm sure we could all devour her right now, I don't know that it's the best thing for her.

"I'm raging for you," I whisper into her ear. "But I'm going to be a gentleman and let you get more rest before I take advantage of you. And I hope you know that I intend to. If this tattoo shows you anything, let it show you that I crave every part of you, most of all your heart."

I place my hand on her side and squeeze gently, thinking about how good it feels to be so in rhythm with her. It's like my body is addicted to her, and I have to try and fight off the urge.

She turns her head to look back at me. "Thank you for the tattoo, Trap. I love it."

"You got it, baby girl."

I kiss her cheek, then adjust myself so my boner isn't completely obvious as I lift myself off the bed and sit back down in my chair.

Grizzly pulls a somewhat large box out from under the bed. I'm not sure what he's going to give her, but something tells me it's going to show me up big time. My only saving grace is the present we all chipped in to buy for her. I hate that I will always and forever be shown up by these guys. It's a wonder Meredith keeps me around and cares about me at all.

Meredith looks downright giddy as she begins opening the box Grizzly hands to her. I figure it must be the size of the package that has her so much more excited. It's good to see her so happy.

"Oh my God," she says, her face lighting up as she pulls out a jacket resembling the ones the three of us wear daily. "You got me my very own jacket?"

"That's right," he says. "It's obvious to all of us how much of a part of us you are."

"You deserve this," Dart says, rubbing his hand across her knee.

Meredith pushes the box to the side and drapes the jacket around her shoulders. It looks perfect on her.

I feel like I should be the one to present the next gift to her. We all went in on it equally, but I can't let Grizzly or Dart have it. I didn't live up to the other gifts with the tattoo, and I want her to know how special she is to me. I've fallen for her just as hard as either of the other two have.

"You deserve this too," I say, and I get up from the chair and go to the dresser where I pull a small box out of the drawer.

"This is all too much," Meredith says. "I think I might cry at this point."

"We never want you to do that," Dart says. "Happy tears or not. Smiles only, please."

I hand her the box and take an extra moment to brush her hand before I pull it away. I can't move my eyes away from her. I want to drink in every second of her opening the gift from all of us.

"This is from all of us."

She smiles as she rips off the paper and sees a small black satin box. She looks around at us, somewhat confused. She pops the top open and her jaw drops as she looks at the ring inside. We knew it was the perfect ring when we saw it. It may not be a proposal, but this beautiful woman having our baby deserves recognition and something that will lay claim to her.

"Oh, my sweet boys," she says. And despite the warning from Dart, tears form at the corners of her eyes.

"Here, let me," I say, and I'm on the edge of the bed, taking the ring out of the box and putting the box to the side. I slip the ring onto her finger and she only glances at us momentarily before looking down at it again. My heart sings at the chance to have been the one to do that for her.

"How did I get so lucky?" she says. "I need a hug from all of you right now or I'll never stop crying."

She leans in toward me first, and I gladly put my arms around her. She feels like home in a way I've never known before. I know it's only fair she takes the time to give Grizzly and Dart a hug, but I feel so cold the second her embrace is pulled away from me, and more hopeless than ever.

Draped in the jacket and clasping her hands together, her fingers toying with her ring, she looks around the room at us.

"This has been the most unexpected display of your love and intentions. So, I have to thank you all for this. I'm blown away." I lean in to wipe a tear running down the side of her cheek. "But more than that, I have to tell you something I've been holding back. Mostly because I've been too afraid of what you might think, or what you might say back to me."

"Anything," Dart says, reassuring her. "You can tell us anything."

"Okay, well…I've been getting to know each of you on a more personal level. We've done things together I've never done with anyone else. Felt things with you unlike what I've felt with anyone else. And we've been through a hell of a ride together. Sometimes I think it's lucky we're all still alive."

We're all intently listening, wondering where she's going to direct this conversation.

"And if there's one thing that happens when you're brushed up against death over and over again, it's that you realize there isn't any time to lose. So I'm just going to say it. I'm in love with you."

"With who?" I say, desperately seeking clarification because I can't believe she would include me in what she's confessing right now.

She meets my eyes. "You." She turns to Grizzly. "And you." Then she turns her eyes to Dart and smiles. "And you." She wraps her arms around her legs and rests her chin on her knee. "I tried to make sense of it all. I never expected to be here with the three of you. But I am. And I am truly in love."

"I'm in love with you too," I say, and we stare at each other for a long time.

I've never been so in love in my life, and excited to be a father. I can't believe this is real.

Dart and Grizzly affirm their love for her as well, and for once it doesn't make me jealous to observe the moments she shares with them. It feels like this is how it was meant to be.

Meredith smiles contentedly at each of us. "Are you all ready to start our lives together?"

Instinctively, we all lean in, kissing her on her lips, her forehead, and her cheek. We won't let anything happen to this woman if it's the last thing any one of us ever do.