Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Dusty

The shop is closed on Sunday, but still I feel the need to be there. I’m surprised to see East’s car in the lot as I pull up. It’s early, and I know he’s not a morning person. It’s also his day off, and a time when he would normally be in bed, so this is odd.

I park beside his vehicle, unlock the door, and go inside. Red Hot Chili Peppers plays through the speakers, the scent of cleaning products burning my nose.

I walk around the corner. Easton has his back to me, wearing old jeans and a T-shirt. Even if I didn’t see what he’s doing, one look around would tell me he’s been here cleaning and organizing the shop. He’s even put away a shipment we got on Friday and that I’d left for Monday. This is new. Despite some of his struggles, East does have a strong work ethic. I wouldn’t have hired him if he didn’t, and Swift or not, I wouldn’t have kept him if I didn’t admire his work. He’s done a damn good job working for me, but this, today, it’s about something else.

I turn off the music, and he twists around. “I was listening to that.”

“You’re also cleaning.”

“There something wrong with that?” He gives me his back again and continues wiping down the shelf. Easton isn’t great with compliments, doesn’t really do well with attention at all unless it’s negative, and for that I completely blame Gregory Swift. He’s also not great with words and has a temper. Friday night was the temper, today is his way of apologizing. I don’t need that from him, though.

“You were right,” I say, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Sure, the delivery could have used some work, but you were right, and I know it didn’t come from you trying to hurt me.”

He gives a humorless chuckle. “I’m more of a dick than you think.”

“No. You’re not to me, and okay, we all know you can be an asshole, but I know you, East.”

Finally, he turns back around, leaning against the counter, and crosses his arms. “You give us too much credit, too much leeway. All of us. Me, Rhett, and Morgan. You’ve made it your life’s mission to save us. You’re better than all of us. If you were smart, you’d run the other way—even from Morgan.”

Because he doesn’t think they deserve love. Any of them. At least Morgan and Rhett had Allison for a while. East had never been that lucky. “Yeah, maybe you’re right, but it’s a little late for that. You and Rhett are like brothers to me, even if I want to wring your necks half the time, and Morgan…well, he’s Morgan.” I walk over and stand beside him.

“He loves you,” East says. “I might have been young, but I know that, I see it.” I think East pays attention to people around him more than others do, more than people give him credit for. “We’re just not good at it, neither of us. We don’t know how to do it like most folks. We either weren’t built right or taught right. We’re fucked up here.” He taps his temple. “But he does love you.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I know he does. We haven’t told anyone, but I’m going with him when he leaves for California.”

Silence greets me, and I wait, knowing something is coming. “You love it here.”

“I might love it there too. How will I know if I don’t go? I can always come home. It’s not like home will disappear. It’s not going anywhere.”

“What about the shop?”

“That’s where you come in. I’m gonna need someone to take over for me, and there’s no one I trust more.”

His head whips in my direction. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“You can do it. You know your shit. You just have to trust yourself. We’ll get someone in here to work with you, and I’m only a phone call away. Plus, I’ll come back often.”

He shakes his head, runs a hand through his hair. “You love this shop. I’m a fuckup. I can’t do this.”

With a sigh, I stand in front of him and tilt his head up so he’s looking at me. He looks so much like Allison with those kind blue eyes that Easton will never see. My heart goes out to him. I want nothing more than for him to succeed, for him to know he’s more than he believes he is. “Yes you can, brother.”

His gaze locks on mine like he’s trying to figure me out.

“I trust you.” Because when I’m not here, East won’t let himself screw up because he won’t want to let me down. He wouldn’t give a shit if it was Gregory, or hell, maybe even Rhett or Morgan, but he will with me.

“Jesus, how does Morgan ever say no to you?”

I grin. “He didn’t use to, and then he was gone. If he’d stayed, he wouldn’t have been able to stay away from me.” That’s not really how Morgan and I work. He hasn’t even been back long, and look at us already.

“I’m going on record saying I think this is a bad idea.”

“Noted.” I take a step away from him.

“Rhett isn’t going to like it.”

“I care about your brother, but it’s not his business—not what I do with Morgan, nor you. But no, he’s not going to like it. Yesterday morning he was at your dad’s house when I woke up. It wasn’t pretty.”

“Nah, I don’t suppose it was for him or Dad, but for different reasons. I think you might be the only person my dad dislikes more than me.” He gives a laugh, but I don’t join him.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He blames me for being born and killing my mom. It wasn’t El’s fault. Just mine. And I’m sure he wishes it had been me who died instead of Ella.”

My chest throbs with a familiar ache for him. I’m not the kind of man who hates many people, but I do hate Gregory Swift. “You didn’t ask to be born, and what happened with Ella was a terrible accident. If your dad can’t see those things and doesn’t see you for who you are, then he doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve any of you.”

Easton clears his throat and walks away. The conversation is over. Frankly, I’m surprised I got as much out of him as I did. “Morgan wants to spend time with you. He’s been trying to get ahold of you.” Which he knows. He’s been ignoring the calls.

When Easton doesn’t answer right away, I add, “Give him a chance, East. Life would be so much easier on the three of you if you learned to lean on each other rather than blame or avoid each other.” Rhett blames Morgan for so much, and Morgan is the same with Rhett. And Easton, he just does his best to avoid everyone, keeps himself at a distance from Gregory and Rhett with the trouble he gets into, and with Morgan, it was easier because he was gone.

“There you go trying to save us again,” he says with a smile.

I shrug. “There’s no going back for me now. I’m so damn tangled in the Swift brothers that you’re a part of me. It just is what it is.”

“I’m sorry. That has to be hard on you,” he says, and I chuckle. “Morgan is lucky to have you…we all are. Now don’t talk to me anymore. You’re annoying and make me say things I don’t like to say.”

It’s impossible to hold back another snicker. “Deal. I’ll help you finish up here, and then maybe you can—”

“I know. I know. I’ll talk to Morgan.”

I turn the music back on, and the two of us get to work. We’re there for about an hour before East says, “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.” I nod. “See ya tomorrow.”

He gives me a nod too and walks out.

After Easton leaves, I head to my office and plop down in my chair. My thoughts are with Easton and the things he said, with Morgan and the high I get at finally having him. I’ve already memorized the feel of him beneath me, the warmth and texture of his skin, the tight grip of his body, the contentment and pride I feel when he just wants to be close to me, to touch me and smell me and nuzzle into me.

But I can’t pretend my thoughts aren’t with Rhett too. I know how Gregory’s behavior and the things he said affect Rhett, and it’s not something he’s ever shared with anyone. The only reason he’s talked to me about it is because I know their family so well and I push him. Even when he was married to Lori, Rhett never let her in. That’s why she left him. I’d told Morgan when he came back that him being here wouldn’t change the fact that Rhett and I are friends, and I intend to stick by that.

I grab my shit, lock up, and drive to Rhett’s place. He lives in town, in a residential area popular with local businessmen.

Rhett’s car is in the driveway of his gray, two-story home. The yard is immaculate—everything of Rhett’s is. He needs the outside world to see him as perfect because he’s such a mess inside. I ring the bell, and after waiting a few minutes, I ring it again. I know he’s here. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s watching me through the doorbell camera right now, so I look into it so he knows I’m onto him.

The door pulls open. Rhett’s shirtless and sweaty, hair damp with it, a towel slung over his shoulder, and he’s wearing shorts and running shoes.

“You can’t use the treadmill to run away from your problems. You won’t get very far.”

Rhett crosses his arms. “Does my brother know you’re here? I’m sure he wouldn’t like it.”

“Your brother knows he doesn’t control me, just like I don’t control him. We trust each other.”

“I can’t believe you’re with him. He abandoned you for ten fucking years, Dusty.”

I shrug because in some ways he’s right, but again, Morgan had asked me to go…and then he caught me kissing his brother. He had a right to be upset. “Maybe this is a mistake, maybe it’s not, but I love him. I’ve always loved him, and I know he loves me too. I was scared to hope before. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try to make it work.”

Rhett sighs, then steps aside to let me in. The inside of his house is as immaculate as the outside, not a thing out of place. It’s all decorated in sleek grays, black, and white. I go to the dining table, knowing Rhett won’t sit on the couch as sweaty as he is.

While I sit, he goes to the fridge and takes out two bottles of water, handing me one and taking the chair across from me. “Why are you here, Dusty?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“Even though Morgan is back?”

A pang lands in the center of my chest. “Jesus, yes. I told you that. Do you really think I’ll have nothing to do with you now?”

He groans, then swallows some of his water. “I don’t know what to think about anything. He brings out a side of me no one else does.”

“It’s because you’re a lot alike. That, and being pitted against each other as kids.”

“My dad wouldn’t do that. You sound just like Morgan.”

Sadness weighs down on me, like a heavy blanket. “Yes, Rhett. He would, and he did. And you were just kids, and neither of you knows how to break out of that.” And when it comes to Rhett, he doesn’t know how to ever feel worthy, successful, or important unless Gregory is proud of him, unless he’s who Gregory wants him to be.

“I don’t want to talk to you about him.”

“How he treated you the other morning, he—”

“Goddamn it!” he shouts, hand slamming down on the table. That draws my attention to the table, which is new, and looks homemade, which surprises me. “I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

The weight on me grows even more, but still I nod.

“When are you leaving?”

I should have known I wouldn’t have to tell him, that Rhett would know. “End of the summer. Even if Morgan goes earlier, I’ll wait until then. I don’t want to throw it on my parents too last-minute, and I have shit to figure out with the shop.”

“What are you going to do about East?”

I frown. “What do you mean? He’s going to stay working there. He’s going to help run it for me.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea? He’s irresponsible and doesn’t think of anyone but himself.”

“Jesus,” I snap. “Do you realize you sound exactly like your father? Do you ever give Easton the benefit of the doubt? Talk to him?”

“I’ve tried to talk to him, tried to help him, but he won’t have any of it.”

“That’s because you don’t want to be there for him, Rhett. You want to change him. You want him to fit into a box that East just doesn’t fit into. He needs a brother, not someone who makes him feel like shit about himself.”

“I love him. I just want what’s best for him.”

“You have to know him to know what’s best for him. What you and your dad decide someone needs isn’t always what they need.”

Rhett stands up and goes into the kitchen. I can see him from where I’m sitting at the dining-room table. He has his back to me while he washes his hands, something I know he’s doing just to get some space. He finishes, then dries them and walks closer, before stopping and leaning against the wall. “Why is it that I’m always the one who’s wrong? You don’t even like who I am, Dust. Not really.”

“That’s not true. And you’re not always wrong. I feel sorry for you. I—”

“You should go now,” he cuts me off, voice hard, face even harder.

“I didn’t mean it that way.” I stand up and reach for him, but Rhett pulls back. I feel sorry for him… I couldn’t have chosen worse words to say.

“You should go now,” he says again.

“Shit.” I rub my hand over my face. “I care about you, Rhett. You know that. I’m always here for you, and…you’re worth more than you think you are.”

When he doesn’t reply, just turns away, I have no other option but to leave.

I really fucked that up, didn’t I?