Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

JORDAN

Being apart was hard. The hardest. With Skype and texting, they managed to make it to June.

The snow had long since melted and the days were warmer. Ryan had flown out to LA once, hated it. A lot. But he’d tried his best. After all, Jordan was changing his whole life for Ryan, so Ryan felt like he needed to do something back.

They’d rented a house together. That was the first thing that shocked the hell out of Jordan. He and Ryan had actually gone from “I love you” to renting a property together in Montana, a couple of miles from Carter’s bar. Ryan hadn’t properly moved in yet; that would be tonight after Eddie and Jenny’s wedding.

Jordan was sitting with Adam and Ethan, not quite ready to be a part of the whole brother show that was going on at the front. Anyway, from here he got a very good look at Ryan in his suit, even better when Ryan came over to talk to sit with Jordan, leaning forward when Adam began to speak.

“Ryan, can we talk after?” Adam asked in a soft voice.

Ryan nodded and held Jordan’s hand as the music started; Jake and Milly began the bridal procession.

The wedding was beautiful. Eddie grinned from ear to ear and Jenny smiled just as hard, but it was nice to get out of the church and into the early-summer warmth. Weirdly enough, he missed the snow and the utter stillness of the Montana winter. Maybe his LA-ness was slowly fading with each visit back to Montana.

Afterward Jordan, Ryan, Ethan, and Adam moved away from the other guests, and Adam began without any introduction or hedging. “I need you to track down Justin and get him to come home. I want him and Gabe as joint best men at our wedding on Christmas Eve.

Ryan crossed his arms over his chest, tense and stern-looking, and Jordan wished he wasn’t standing in the middle of this.

“I have an emergency number,” Ryan said with a nod to Ethan.

Adam drew himself tall. “Tell him this. Tell him that if he isn’t home by Christmas Eve, then I won’t be marrying Ethan.”

Jordan glanced at Ethan, who looked utterly destroyed and tense. Was this a joint decision, or did Ethan want something very different?

It seemed that Ryan picked up on the same vibe. “Ethan?” he asked softly.

“I want my brother home,” Ethan said immediately. “But he has to know that he and Adam have to talk. There are things Adam needs to know that will give him and Justin some kind of peace. Add that to the text.”

“I will.”

“What if he doesn’t come home?” Jordan asked, because he wasn’t sure either Adam or Ethan were really thinking this through with their ultimatum.

Neither of them seemed offended that he asked that. “If he loves us,” Ethan began, “either of us, then he’ll come home.”

“I’ll try,” Ryan said.

Jordan slipped a hand in the crook of Ryan’s arm and leaned on his shoulder, just to be there for support. Ryan relaxed at the touch.

Jordan pulled on Ryan’s hand. “Come meet Jenny’s family.”

That was Ryan’s out from the conversation. At that point, Ryan could leave it to Jordan to go alone. After all, Jordan would understand Ryan was in serious mode, but not only did Jordan want to meet this new part of his family, but he wanted to get Ryan away from the intensity of Adam and the fear in Ethan’s eyes.

“Are you sure you want him home?” Ryan asked.

Adam paled. “I never wanted him to go,” he said, his eyes bright.

“His concern was that he was detrimental to your progress.” Ryan sounded like he was quoting from a sheet of notes. Then he added in a softer tone, “But he asks about you when he asks about his dad and Ethan.”

“Please tell him, Ryan, tell him I want him to come home, that I know real from nightmares now.”

“Do you though?” Ryan asked.

Adam closed his eyes briefly. “Every day I try.”

“I doubt I’ll be able to change his mind.”

“But you’ll try?”

“Yes.” Ryan moved away, but before they’d taken two steps, he turned back to Ethan and Adam, and nodded at them. “I will do everything in my power to make sure Justin and Sam come home. I promise.”

Jordan hoped to hell Ryan could make that happen.

July moved into August, and every time Jordan visited Ryan and then went back to LA, he left a little more of himself back in Montana.

He didn’t want to leave Ryan, aware he was building a life in the small town close to Crooked Tree. He knew where to get the best coffee and that Martha had Saturday morning off from the counter at the grocery store to get her hair done, ready for date night. He also knew that she was seventy-three and her boyfriend was a scandalously younger sixty-five. He’d found the best places to park, the perfect sandwich shop, and even gotten an account at the hardware store because he was working on the garden in their rented place.

He wished they weren’t renting. The house they were in was a gorgeous two-story colonial-style house, with a large yard and plenty of flower beds to fill with color. He wanted to buy the place.

Every day he was there—hell, every minute—he was at peace, and his script was coming together nicely.

The righteous uproar over his accidental outing had died away. Some other B-list actor was currently front-page news, and when Brad and Angelina split, Jordan was consigned to yesterday’s news.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten apart from the channel buying Snow in Montana , who’d made some pointed accusations of “planning to deliver a flawed product,” whatever the fuck that meant. Something about viewers not being able to “buy into” Jordan’s character.

He wrote an email full of explanation, when all he wanted to do was tell them to get lost. But he couldn’t alienate them. Darby Films was new, and if it went under, then every penny of their father’s estate that had passed to them would be gone.

He didn’t care about himself, but Micah, Angie, and the five staff they supported in LA would be destroyed. So, he bit his tongue and played nice, even attended an awards show representing the channel.

No one asked him about his being gay or about Ryan, and he managed to turn the conversation around to the fact that Snow in Montana was a romance full of drama. And snow.

That made the interviewer laugh, and Jordan moved on before she could ask any more questions.

When he was next with Ryan, he held him extra close, and Ryan didn’t ask why.

Ryan was quiet. He’d contacted Justin, told him that Adam wanted him home. The only reply was from Sam, who said they’d be home. Sam didn’t say when, and Justin never spoke about it when he checked in with Ryan.

Seemed that Ryan didn’t take making a promise lightly, and he had slipped into worry mode. Adam spent a lot of time talking to Ryan, not about Justin, but about the memories that were slipping into his head at random moments. Not that they made much sense, at least when Jordan was there listening as well. Adam’s dreams seemed like things he was making up. Every time, the newest one contradicted the last, and he collapsed again in the middle of September. He was convulsing when Ethan found him.

Ryan called Jordan, to say that Adam was in the hospital undergoing tests, and Ethan was with him.

Jordan wanted to be home. LA was too far away.

Then one day, with Jordan in Montana, the leaves changing color around them and fall promising slower days and colder nights, news reached Ryan and Jordan.

Adam had woken up that morning in hospital, with clear, unequivocal memories of his time in witness protection. Not everything else he’d forgotten, admittedly; there was still nothing about his childhood. He came home, with a possible diagnosis of epilepsy, he was low and needed Ethan all the time.

Just like Jordan wanted and needed Ryan.

Justin and Sam came home in the middle of October, and that was when everything began to change.