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Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Adam's head spun. He could recall what had happened, see Justin shaking his head ruefully.

"I should have told you what I wanted," Justin said as they climbed out of the lake and dried off.

Adam looked him straight in the eye. "It wouldn't have changed how I feel about your brother," he said with all his fifteen-year-old bluntness.

Justin stared at him, then broke into a trademark grin. "Okay, then," he announced. "I'll just have to get Cole or Nate to fall for me if it's all about the older man."

"Cole is straight, and unless you're a horse or a bull, you're not getting near Nate."

They laughed, climbed up on their horses, and things were okay.

He pulled himself back to the here and now. Justin had wanted to be with him? "Can we get out?"

Ethan looked momentarily disappointed, as if he'd been hoping Adam would talk more, but Adam knew one thing, he needed the hell out of this water.

"Let's go," Ethan said, pushing aside the initial reaction.

Together they made it to the shore, Cole alongside them. Reaching the shore was a lot harder than getting to the lake, and he relied on a hell of a lot of help from the other men. His chest ached, his eye was sore and as for his head? He hurt.

Seemed like Cole was really a superhero now, coming up next to him and swimming while supporting him, and they reached the shore in no time at all. Ethan helped him out onto the stones and they picked their way over to the horses, pulling out towels from bags and drying off before getting dressed.

"So, we need to go higher," Adam announced when they were all on horseback again. "I have a clear idea of where I want to go."

He guided Easy away from the lake but, instead of taking the path back down to the main ranch, he set off around the lake along another path. Crooked Tree Ranch sat in the near center of its acres; there was an awful lot of acreage that Adam thought had been unexplored by them as kids. But, this felt right.

"I remember we decided to ride more. Justin didn't want to go home. He was embarrassed that he'd lost his temper that he and his dad had fought. He said he couldn't even remember what started the fight, and I can see his face now." Adam looked directly at Ethan. "He said that he started it deliberately just to get some emotion out of his dad."

Ethan nodded. "Dad wasn't the most emotional of men. Still isn't, despite Sophie being in his life."

"Why aren't they married?" Adam asked. He'd seen them together, and Sophie clearly adored Marcus, and it seemed to him that Marcus loved her back just as much.

"He said to me once that he'd marry her, but it never happened. I don't know, I think my dad has lost his way."

He opened his mouth to ask another question about Marcus and Sophie, then thought better of it. What people really wanted from Adam were his memories. So he concentrated hard on that March day, focused in on Justin's gray eyes—just like Ethan's—and his blond hair. Memories, scents, tastes, emotions, were slipping back into his head, and he focused in on how he felt and what they were doing.

His stomach churned; there was a kernel of grief in there, and it grew worse the higher they climbed, until he had to rein in Easy and stop. Ethan was at his side in an instant, his expression wary, and there was something in his eyes.

"Smoke," Adam murmured. "We went off the path…." He encouraged Easy to walk on and they skirted the forest, staying on the path. At that point something was telling Adam that he needed to keep going until miles separated them from the ranch.

And then he stopped as another memory slammed into him.

Blue sky, the scents of the forest around them. Justin laughing at something Adam had just said. They heard a noise that seemed to come from above them, higher up the mountain.

"Was that a gunshot?" Adam asked.

"I don't know, but I'm going to go check it out. Crooked Tree doesn't allow hunting or shooting on the ranch." Justin kicked Easy into a gallop.

"Shit," Adam swore, and urged Smoke to go after them, because he was fucked if he was going to let Justin get into trouble on his own.

And abruptly Adam knew.

He knew it all.

He slid off Easy and fell to his knees. Ethan was there, and Cole. Ethan holding him, Cole asking him if he was okay.

He would never be okay. Why would Cole even ask that?

His mind shut down and everything went black.

Voices pulled him out of the darkness. Ethan and Cole, calling his name. He didn't want to come back, not when he could see what had happened, not when the flames licked at him and burned Justin. Not when he saw Justin die.

He opened his eyes, and through the tears he could see Ethan watching him, fear in his expression.

"Meth," he murmured. "A cabin, not here, not on Crooked Tree property. We found men… no, they found us… they got Justin, and he told me to run, I didn't want to, but I got away to get help." The words tumbled out randomly; he probably wasn't making sense. "I rode Smoke away, but they were there, and I took him off the path, and he broke his leg." Tears overwhelmed him and he clung to Ethan. "They had me. I had to leave Smoke, and Justin… they put us in the back of a car, we were tied up, I don't remember how long… we were at a cabin, there was an explosion. I don't know what…." He pressed a hand to his throat. "I was close to it, and I was burned, but Justin, he was—" Sobs made it hard to speak. "He was burned so bad, Ethan…. He was dead. Ethan, I'm sorry."

Ethan didn't move, didn't back away, he just held on to Adam, and he was crying as well, and through all of it, Cole was on his cell, organizing, planning, getting the sheriff up there, Nate, Jay—whomever the fuck he could get. He shouted into the phone. And then he crouched down by Adam and placed a steadying hand on his arm.

"Okay, Adam," he said. "We got this."

Night fell before they gave up hope of finding anything. Adam was with them in body, but his mind had refused to let go of any more secrets. Ethan was there next to him on every part of the search for whatever they thought they might find. His eyes were red and his posture screamed that he was shocked and grieving, but he never let go of Adam.

Adam didn't know if he was drawing strength from Ethan, or if it was the other way around.

"We're calling it a night," Ryan announced. He was in full-on sheriff mode, calling in search parties and criminal investigation units. He'd had dogs out. They were going to find this meth lab Adam had recalled, just not tonight. Although Adam had said it was some way from the Ranch, hell it could be in another state for all he remembered. Surely they would have found evidence of a fire on Crooked Tree land back in 2004 if it had happened nearby?

One by one they left until only Ethan, Adam, and Cole remained.

"We should go back," Ethan said.

Cole nodded his agreement, but he was staring way past them and up the hill.

"I'm so sorry," Adam said for the hundredth time that day. "I wish I hadn't remembered. I don't want this memory."

Not a lot of detail had come through with the memory. Adam couldn't recall exactly where he and Justin had been; he couldn't give details of landscape or names or anything that actually helped.

I'm fucking useless. I tell Ethan that Justin is dead, and then I shut down.

Ethan, for his part, was clearly in shock. The three of them hadn't told anyone that Adam recalled Justin dying, a conscious decision Ethan had made because he wanted to be the one to tell his dad.

And after all, what did one dead boy mean to all the experts combing through the ranch acres?

"I just want to check one thing," Cole murmured softly.

He looked distracted as he slipped down off of Juno and into the darkness beyond the trees.

"I love you," Ethan said softly.

The words were clear and firm; he evidently wanted Adam to know that despite all this, his feelings wouldn't change.

"How can you?—"

"Because it's always been there, and whatever happens, we'll always be in love."

They gripped hands, holding tight, and together they waited for Cole.

For someone who was supposed to be a trained SEAL, he was making a lot of noise over there in the trees. Crashing and banging, and Adam thought he heard a shout. He pulled a flashlight out of the rucksack attached to the saddle, and aimed it into the trees.

"Cole?" he said loudly.

More crashing. Adam glanced at Ethan, who'd pulled his weapon and held it high.

"Stay here," he ordered, and disappeared into the trees.

Adam didn't want to, but the sight of the gun had him hiding back against Easy, who, bless him, didn't move a single step away.

Then there was no more crashing, no sounds of anything; it was eerily silent, and fear gripped Adam. What should he do? Run into the woods and find out what the hell was going on? He still didn't have a cell phone, and he didn't know how to handle this… he was beginning to panic.

"Adam," a voice growled from the path beyond.

Adam couldn't see who it was, it didn't sound like Cole or Ethan.

"Who is it?" he snapped. "I have a gun." He added the lie.

The owner of the voice in the dark chuckled. "A, you wouldn't know how to use it."

A ? Only one person ever called him A. Adam aimed the flashlight into the darkness, but couldn't get a fix on the shadows.

The owner of the voice stepped closer and light fell on a hooded figure. "You have to stop remembering me." The voice was firm. "It was my fault you were in Chicago. I should have left things alone. But, promise me, A, promise you'll stop remembering until I get this fixed. Let them search, but don't remember me."

"Justin?"

"Apologize to Cole for me. I think I hit him harder than I thought."

"Please, Justin?"

"They told me you were dead," the person confirmed. "Otherwise I wouldn't… Jesus, Adam, I thought I'd got you killed. You have to know that."

A crashing in the dark from the trees startled Adam and the flashlight slipped momentarily. When he aimed it back at where the voice had been, there was nothing.

But, he knew, as Ethan came onto the path supporting a dazed Cole, that it had been Justin in the shadows.

He was certain of it. He crossed to Ethan immediately, and together they helped Cole to a sitting position on the ground. Adam's hand came away wet and the flashlight picked up blood.

"Someone hit me," Cole muttered. "Got a couple shots in, but the fucker knew his moves. We need to get the cops back. Taking down a fucking SEAL, that bastard has to be something special. Someone call back Ryan."

Adam swallowed. "No," he said. "No sheriff."

"What?" Ethan asked as he pulled out his cell. "We need to get the search parties back up here."

Adam reached out and placed a hand over the phone. "No," he repeated. And then he had to say the words that would mean everything to Ethan. "Justin said…."

Ethan cradled Adam's face, searching for something, looking scared. "Are you okay? Are you ill?" he asked urgently.

There was no other way of doing this; he had to rip the Band-Aid off the wound in one pull. "I saw Justin."

"In your memories?" Ethan asked. He sounded so sad, devastated.

"No. Here. Now."

Ethan rocked back on his heels. "I don't understand."

"You went into the trees and you left me here. And then he was there, waiting. He told me to stop remembering until he could fix it."

"Adam—"

"No, listen to me. Ethan, I promise you, Justin is alive."

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