Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

A few days passed without incident. Adam could see Ethan was on edge, almost jumping at shadows, but he couldn't help his lover, so he tried to distract him.

"When do you go back to work?" was the latest question.

Ethan was avoiding answering directly. He made references to "making decisions," and "looking at all his options," but there was something he wasn't saying.

Adam had finally convinced Ethan to talk to him. They even walked down to Branches for coffee; Ethan promised he'd explain about work and what was happening.

Only, nothing went according to plan.

Ethan came to a dead stop about six feet from Branches, his gaze firmly fixed on a car in the parking lot—a rental car, small and bright red—and a tall man literally unfolding himself to get out.

"What's wrong?" Adam asked. He looked from Ethan's face and back to the man, and abruptly a memory smacked into him with all the subtlety of a brick.

He started running at the same time as the man in the parking lot did. He knew this man.

Cole was here.

His brother was here.

They reached each other by the bridge. Cole's hug lifted Adam off his feet; his grip was so hard that it really freaking hurt.

None of the pain mattered—Cole was here.

Cole, who loved him and looked out for him, who protected him from their dad. Cole, who taught him to write his letters and took care of anything that might hurt him.

"Fuck," Cole was saying over and over, "I didn't believe them, but it's you."

He finally set Adam down, but gripped him by the biceps and held him firmly, examining his face, his dark eyes wet with emotion.

"Hey," Adam said. He knew this man. He didn't have a single missing memory about what Cole meant to him, everything flooding back: all the feelings and emotions and the small moments locked in his room, hearing their dad crashing about outside, threatening all kinds of shit for imagined transgressions.

"Jesus," Cole said and hugged him again. "Fuck," he repeated. His vocabulary was restricted mostly to curses and exclamations of disbelief.

They parted again and, this time, Adam got a better look at his big brother. Cole had a black eye and looked like shit.

"You look like shit." He said the first thing he thought. "Is the Navy hard work for you?

"Sailing ships isn't easy, kid. And you look pretty shit, too."

They teased each other. Arm in arm they walked up to Ethan, who held out a hand to shake Cole's. Cole pulled him into a hug instead, cursing, but this time with added thank-yous.

And all Adam could think was that all he needed was one more huge meet-up to happen, and his memories might all come flooding back.

Later, when he and Ethan were alone, he would tell him exactly what he recalled about the last few words they'd exchanged, when fifteen-year-old Adam told Ethan he was in love with him.

How he'd recalled saying the words even as another memory formed clearly in his head.

And how, at twenty-eight, he still felt the same way.

Dinner was a huge, messy, complicated affair. Adam got to meet Josh, Ashley's youngest, who had gone to Germany with his school, and had only come back that morning. He was a good kid and he loved Gabe, that much was obvious. In fact, Josh gave so many hugs to both his mom and Gabe, that Adam thought they might lose their patience with him.

I don't think we ever hugged Dad.

The thought came unbidden, and he caught Cole's gaze. They exchanged rueful grins. They were back together, with all their shared secrets and experiences, and it felt right. Even if he was remembering the bad stuff.

"Okay," Sam announced, bringing in a huge pot and placing it in the middle of the large table. "Boeuf bourguignon," he said.

"Beef stew," Gabe explained to Josh, who'd stood up to peer inside the large pot.

They ate until the pot was empty. Sam joined them and proved to be the life and soul of the party. He was vivacious and loud and opinionated and funny, and Adam's mood stayed high as they chatted about seafood that Sam was sure Adam would love.

The table hushed, and Adam realized he'd missed something. He turned away from Sam to see what it was, to see Gabe kneeling on the floor right in front of Ashley.

Gabe cleared his throat and even shot a quick look at Adam. Was he looking for reassurance? Adam gave him a small smile of encouragement.

"Ashley, will you and Josh and Kirsten marry me?"

Ashley didn't even have to think about it. "Yes. Oh my God, yes."

Everyone cheered and whistled, and there was so much love around the table that abruptly Adam needed some air.

Cole must have felt the same way, and they walked outside together into the cooling April night, huddling in their coats against the bridge.

"You don't know how good it is it to see you," Cole started. "When you left, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to live through."

"I still don't know why I left, not really. I don't know what I saw or why I promised to stay away." Cole pulled out cigarettes and lit one. "I didn't know you smoked," Adam commented.

Cole exhaled a perfect circle of smoke and shook his head. "It's a new habit. Keeps me calm."

"Does it really?" Adam was curious. Their dad had smoked, and he'd reeked of nicotine: his breath, his hands. He wasn't a social smoker—lighting up wherever the damn hell he pleased, or that was what he said.

"No, it's something I picked up after Mary and I divorced. Navy life, you know."

"What is it you do?" Adam asked. "In the Navy, I mean."

Cole took one final drag, exhaled, and then put the cigarette out on the brick. He didn't throw the butt on the floor, just held it.

He wasn't looking at Adam in the face, and instinct had Adam thinking bad things. Cole was a big man, way bigger than him. He was the same height as Adam, but he had muscles on muscles, and there was a dangerous edge to him. It was a wonder he fit in any kind of uniform.

"I'm a SEAL," he admitted. "They couldn't reach me because I was—" He paused, clearly searching for the right words. "—busy," he finished lamely.

Adam's mouth fell open. Cole was a Navy SEAL? "No shit."

Cole shrugged and smiled. "Yeah."

Adam punched him in the chest, not hard—a love tap, nothing else. "My big bad SEAL brother."

"Yeah." Cole said with pride on his face, but he was also saying it as if he wasn't sure he should be showing any pride at all.

"I'm so proud of you," Adam said.

"There's something else."

"I'm not sure anything can beat you being a SEAL."

"You're an uncle. I married a girl I met just before I tried out for the SEALs. Poor woman said yes. Her name is Zoe, and we had a baby boy. He's just two now."

"I'm an uncle? What's his name?"

"Bradley. We call him Brad."

And like that they stood by the bridge and talked, and one by one Adam pieced together some more memories. Added to that was the fact his brother sounded like the best brother a man could wish for, that Adam was an uncle, and his place in the world was becoming more grounded and settled. He had a purpose.

He liked that feeling.

The dinner broke up at ten or so, and it was obvious that Cole would be staying in the Strachan house. Ethan announced he would be up later, which caused Cole to smirk and made Adam feel loved and wanted. Ethan wasn't going to be put off him now Cole was back, and that was a good sign.

"You're in my old room, though," Adam said. "If that's okay? I was using yours."

Cole didn't argue; he didn't seem to care. Although he did hesitate as they crossed the threshold into the house. "All I need is a floor," he said. He stopped and did a full three sixty. "Seems smaller somehow."

"Does it?"

"Yeah. You know the old man filled it with all his bluster and his crap."

"I don't really remember, but from what I hear, he was a mean bastard."

Cole turned to him. "Yeah, quick to temper and use his hands."

Adam felt like he wanted to be honest with Cole. "That's why I can't sleep in my room, I can't settle myself to sleep when the feeling in there is wrong, so I've been using yours. I'll move out."

Cole stopped Adam with a hand to his arm. "I'll sleep out here, if that's okay." He dumped his duffel on the sofa and sat in the middle of it, bouncing to test it out. "Beats the sand," he muttered.

"Is that where you were?" Adam asked. He sat down next to his brother and knocked shoulders.

"I can't say," Cole said, then changed the subject. "So, you and Ethan, then."

"Yeah."

"He's a good man. Kept on looking when I couldn't. Kept the hope the same as I did. He loved you the same as I did." Cole slumped a little and yawned. "Well, kind of different, I guess, seeing as you're sharing a room."

"How did you know that?"

"I didn't, but I do now."

"I'd forgotten you were an asshole," Adam grumped. Then he brightened. "Actually I've forgotten everything about you. Maybe that's a good thing."

Cole leaned into him. "You're the asshole, little brother."

"Whatever, Cock Breath," Adam responded in age-old tradition.

And there it was again, another recollection of words he used to say to his brother.

"Bring it, Spider Puke."

"Oh my God, I remember that nickname," he announced. And he did, in all its technicolor glory, him in his Spiderman PJs with vomit all down the front. The name had stuck, and now it was back in his head.

A knock on the door had Adam answering it, surprised to see Ethan hovering on the doorstep.

"Why did you knock?" he asked, although he knew the answer. He didn't wait for Ethan to respond, just grabbed some of his lover's shirt and yanked him in. "Get in here, idiot."

"Thought you might want time with Cole," Ethan said.

"I do, but I want him to know us as a couple." Adam attempted to explain, aware he sounded like an idiot, albeit a poetic one.

"Get in here, E," Cole yelled from the sofa. "Shut the door and bring beer!"

Adam grabbed beers for Cole and Ethan, water for himself, and they all sat on the sofa, wriggling around until Adam was half on Ethan's lap so that he could face his brother.

"Okay, Ethan, just to get this out of the way," Cole said. "You hurt my little brother, and I will find you and kill you, and you won't even see it coming."

Then he ruined the whole effect by smirking.

But Adam felt something warm in his chest at the threat, and at Ethan's answer.

"Don't plan on ever hurting him." He punctuated the announcement with a kiss.

The three men talked for the longest time, until it was clear Cole was giving in to sleep.

"Time to sleep," Adam announced. And when he lay on his brother's old bed, wrapped in Ethan's arms, listening to the sound of Ethan's rhythmic breathing, he relaxed.

And he felt safe. Utterly safe and completely wrapped in love.

Only as he was on the edge of sleep did he realize that Cole's arrival meant he and Ethan hadn't covered what was going on with Ethan's work, or made it up to Silver Lake.

Tomorrow's another day.